07-18-2018, 11:14 AM
" IT'S FINE NOW. WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE! "
He didn't wish for the comparisons to be made. In comparisons came unhappiness, and unhappiness brought about bitterness. He was sure that he'd fought people who had grown into villains for that reason. And yet, what did he still do? He still appeared as the Symbol of Peace, the protector of the people, the top hero himself. Toshinori didn't know how to operate under different circumstances anymore. He had to serve, he had to defend, he had to succeed.
And yet, he had failed. Failed at teaching. Failed at fighting. Failed at damn near everything in the end. He had let everyone down, and while he knew that, he couldn't admit it. He couldn't admit it to himself or anyone else, but he also didn't cast blame on them. He knew he was at fault, and yet, he could hardly say it. He could hardly say anything!
He sat in silence waiting for Izuku's response, when he felt a presence behind him. The next thing he knew, he was wrapped in Aizawa's scarf and being constricted. The serval coughed, blood slipping from the corner of his mouth and onto the cloth.
"Shit," he muttered, glancing at the stain before lifting his gaze to meet Eraser Head's. The lion looked pissed, and... well, he had every right to be. But that didn't mean that Toshinori wanted to face it, at least not now. But... well, if not now, then when?
The scrawny feline took in his words and his scowl etched itself deeper still into his hollow face. Things weren't like that. He wasn't some... he wasn't some holy figure, he didn't think he was better than anyone else. If anything, he felt like the scum of the earth right about now. Toshinori narrowed his sunken eyes, keeping his gaze fixed on the lion. Until... well, until he dropped his eyes to the snow again.
"It's not like that," he protested, a rasp in his tone. "It's... I didn't...."
He didn't what?. He didn't mean to die on them all? He didn't mean to destroy their hope? He didn't mean to leave Aizawa alone to defend the rest of the students against an enemy that Toshinori himself had lost to?
"...."
Toshinori took in a shivering breath.
"Aizawa, I..." he paused, a tear slipping unseen from his cheek to the snow below him. "I'm so sorry."
The serval shuddered, gnawing on the inside of his cheek. If he cried, he'd look even weaker than he did already. And he already knew sorry didn't cut it- Aizawa could beat the shit out of him and it wouldn't cut it. The children had died. A lousy apology didn't make up for the lives lost.
He hung limply in the scarf, staring dejectedly into the cold white fluff that Aizawa stood in. Hot tears festered in his eyes before escaping down his cheeks and dribbling to his chin. He was a terrible excuse for a top hero. He was a terrible excuse for a hero at all.
And yet, he had failed. Failed at teaching. Failed at fighting. Failed at damn near everything in the end. He had let everyone down, and while he knew that, he couldn't admit it. He couldn't admit it to himself or anyone else, but he also didn't cast blame on them. He knew he was at fault, and yet, he could hardly say it. He could hardly say anything!
He sat in silence waiting for Izuku's response, when he felt a presence behind him. The next thing he knew, he was wrapped in Aizawa's scarf and being constricted. The serval coughed, blood slipping from the corner of his mouth and onto the cloth.
"Shit," he muttered, glancing at the stain before lifting his gaze to meet Eraser Head's. The lion looked pissed, and... well, he had every right to be. But that didn't mean that Toshinori wanted to face it, at least not now. But... well, if not now, then when?
The scrawny feline took in his words and his scowl etched itself deeper still into his hollow face. Things weren't like that. He wasn't some... he wasn't some holy figure, he didn't think he was better than anyone else. If anything, he felt like the scum of the earth right about now. Toshinori narrowed his sunken eyes, keeping his gaze fixed on the lion. Until... well, until he dropped his eyes to the snow again.
"It's not like that," he protested, a rasp in his tone. "It's... I didn't...."
He didn't what?. He didn't mean to die on them all? He didn't mean to destroy their hope? He didn't mean to leave Aizawa alone to defend the rest of the students against an enemy that Toshinori himself had lost to?
"...."
Toshinori took in a shivering breath.
"Aizawa, I..." he paused, a tear slipping unseen from his cheek to the snow below him. "I'm so sorry."
The serval shuddered, gnawing on the inside of his cheek. If he cried, he'd look even weaker than he did already. And he already knew sorry didn't cut it- Aizawa could beat the shit out of him and it wouldn't cut it. The children had died. A lousy apology didn't make up for the lives lost.
He hung limply in the scarf, staring dejectedly into the cold white fluff that Aizawa stood in. Hot tears festered in his eyes before escaping down his cheeks and dribbling to his chin. He was a terrible excuse for a top hero. He was a terrible excuse for a hero at all.
code by spacexual