I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING THROUGH TO YOU // open, reflection

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

ATBASH CIPHER

you laugh and smile at me, but you don't see a thing !

Despite her easy departure from the meeting, Atbash's mood was quickly declining as her frustration started to fade, with her becoming more and more uneasy as time when on. The whole issue with The Pitt was conflicting in general, but the savannah couldn't put her past with The Pitt aside to please someone else - one of which wasn't even an actual Tangler. Of course Atticus would try to defend his clanmates, it was only natural, but Atbash couldn't agree with him. Hell, he was the enemy in her mind, and she would have outright said that if Aurum had dismissed everyone before she had the chance to. But obviously, that wasn't what had the newly promoted Shaderunner upset. No, it was Atticus's other words.

"You ran... and left them all to burn." No. No, she didn't. Atticus didn't know the whole story and Atbash had to tell herself this over and over; hell, The Pitt could have even twisted the story in their favor. Atbash didn't leave them, she ordered them to run. They couldn't fight back and she knew this - she wanted her people to flee rather than risk their lives in a pointless battle. That was the good thing to do, right? That's what Jacob would have done, right? He wouldn't expect anyone to fight in some meaningless battle. But then again... Atbash did start an unnecessary conflict between The Typhoon and Snowbound when she declared them as neutrals, so maybe she did make a bad decision.

"They trusted you. And you left them to die." These words hit Atbash the most. She already struggled with blaming Snowbound's downfall on herself, but to hear someone else say it to her face was worse. Not to mention, it reminded her of her parents - Atticus had no idea of knowing that her parents perished in a fire as well, nor did she expect him to, but the comment about leaving Snowbound to die pricked at the memory of her being forced to leave her family. Atbash didn't want to leave them, Vigenere had grabbed her by the scruff and forced her to accept the face that their parents were gone. It was the same with Snowbound, she didn't want to leave the tribe burning, but in order to make sure everyone was safe, she had to demand everyone to leave. There was no fighting back, not that she remembered, even if Atticus wanted to push that blame on to her. But in the end... He was kind of right.

Snowbound trusted her to lead them and she failed. Not just specifically when the tribe disbanded, but in general - they expected her to lead them through thick-and-thin and when the pressure got rough, the savannah fled. It wasn't a tyrannical rule as Atticus believed, but more so a decision made in the moment, one that Atbash thought would save them, but one that ended up disbanding Snowbound as a whole. It wasn't something Atbash planned on happening, it was something that happened, but the demoness definitely blamed herself for it. If they stayed and fought back, would Snowbound still be here today, even with the couple of people that lived there at the time?

Aurum had tried to make Atbash feel better by saying he believed her, but by that time, the damage had already been done and Atticus's comment had already stressed out the poor she-cat, even if she was able to push it down at the time. She didn't have a distraction now and was forced to reflect. Atbash sniffed, pulling her arms closer underneath her body as she laid down on her porch, trying to fight herself from trembling from the memories she was being flung into.

//TL;DR - Atbash is reflecting back on Atticus's words and Snowbound's downfall. She's loafing on her porch if anyone wants to say something to her

bio | female | shaderunner [shp] of tanglewood

© madi

[rhosmari]

The huntress had not been at the meeting so she had no idea what had happened during the whole thing. All she knew was that one had been called and that was it. She knew there would be news of the Pitt there and perhaps some heads butting but that was normal. Conversations needed to be had and one side should not overwhelm another. They needed to listen to each other and perhaps form a compromise that worked. And if not then majority ruled. She for one would have voted to stay away from the Pitt. Just cut off interactions and leave the desert beasts to wallow in their own filth. After all their kind was harsh and unyielding. Not caring if their own insulted a deputy of another group till it was much too late. But she hoped that perhaps something would be resolved soon. As the lioness was out doing her slow walks around the town, exercising she noticed Atbash on her porch. The woman looked not okay, looked upset more like it and though the shadow regent didn't know why she still figured that she could at least go over and provide comfort. Taking her time the flaming wild cat lifted her injured leg off the ground and she proceeded to hobble her way over.

As she got to the porch she called lightly. "Good afternoon, Atbash. She couldn't help but notice her here and well,..." The deputy paused as she looked at the other and carefully she hobbled her way up the stairs to sit down near her on the porch. "Is everything alright with her? She knows she is upset and Elsweyr is here to listen if she wants to tell her." Even though the tribal woman was hurt she was better off and getting better as days went on so she had time and well, she would always make time.

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

ATBASH CIPHER

you laugh and smile at me, but you don't see a thing !

Having only one eye meant Atbash was almost always cautious of her surroundings, so despite her being lost in thought, she was quick to notice Elsweyr coming over. There was a soft smile on her face, a way to try and make it seem like everything was fine - but alas, Elsweyr had already noticed the distraught look that she had before. "I appreciate it, Els." Atbash chirped in reply. "I'm just... thinking about things I could have done differently in the past." Elsweyr wasn't around for Snowbound and it's fall, so it was likely she wouldn't know what Atbash was talking about. Maybe that's a good thing, though. After all, if no one knew Snowbound exists, it made things easier in that she didn't have to worry about looking like a failure.

bio | female | shaderunner [shp] of tanglewood

© madi

[arrow]

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Els may have not been around for Snowbound's rise and fall, but Arrow was. Had she interacted with them? Not really, no. All her news was just things she picked up along the grapevine. Really, the amount of entire groups she'd seen go was astronomical. Just a fact of life, things came and things went.

Still, she couldn't blame Atbash's reaction either, there was some serious weight behind her emotional response, and her and Atticus were doomed to butt heads, there was no way to avoid it. Had he been right to accuse her of letting Snowbound fall through her grasp? Arrow didn't actually know. She didn't know enough to figure it out, but that didn't matter. At least not to her. As of now, this day, Atbash was one of their own, just as much as Atticus, just as much as herself. The place was pulling itself apart at the seams these days, huh? Who was she to dictate who was right, who's emotions were more fair than the other? But Atticus was at risk for losing, Atbash had already lost everything.

"I'm sure you did everything ya could, Cipher." Arrow shrugged, offering nothing more than a friendly smile along with it. She wasn't the kind for long emotional speeches, and it didn't look like the savannah needed to be reminded in detail of what had gone down. Not recently, or in the past. She quietly and carefully stepped up the stairs, gently nudging the new shaderunner playfully and observing Elsweyr's wounds with a squint. "Haven't forgotten about you, better not be walking around when you should be resting, madam." Arrow raised her brow at Elsweyr for a moment before returning her attention to the sad little yellow loaf on the porch.

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[wormwood.]

Honestly, Aurum had despised what Atticus had chosen to say to Atbash at the meeting. He had been there to supposedly preach about love and peace, yet he had lashed out at the shaderunner over something she could've never controlled. He claimed that he was just a much a Tangler as anyone else, and yet he had no respect for those around him. It was a shame to see just how far he had fallen, and the angel found himself wondering how Moth felt about it. Did she hate to see how he had turned himself into such a beast, snapping and snarling at anyone around him? Or did she just feel sad about it all, watching the downward spiral from afar? Either way, the luminary had little intention of forgiving him for such vitriol filled words, especially when he had been defending the group that had committed such heinous actions. Perhaps if The Pitt had been wiped out the moment they had appeared, Snowbound would still be around, and thriving... still, there was no reason to dwell on it. Atbash was a Tangler now, and she deserved respect.

Although Aurum had initially left the meeting filled with a feeling of frustration and anger, he had gradually simmered down since then, just enjoying time with his family. It was easy to let his fury melt away when Siborno was at his side, and his remaining children were still around. When he eventually emerged from his home once again, he felt in a significantly calmer mood, figuring that he would take a walk to tire himself out before going to sleep for the night. However, it seemed as though someone else had been a bit more disturbed by the meeting than he was – Atbash, not that it was surprising. It was obvious she had devoted her entire being to Snowbound, and to hear such things... it was awful. With a sigh, Aurum turned and made his way over to the feline's porch, speaking up shortly after Arrow, "I know that you did everything you could for Snowbound, Atbash." He hadn't been around for the rise or fall of Snowbound, but it was hard not to know the history of the lands eventually, through the stories of others. Especially if you had been around long enough to eventually reach the rank he had achieved.

Silently slipping past Arrow to make his way up and onto the porch, the tiger slowly sat down next to Atbash, reassuringly pressing his side into hers. He muttered, shaking his head from side to side, "You shouldn't blame yourself for any of that... Atticus was just lashing out and being petty because he was angry. Hell, be wasn't even alive for anything that happened back then." It had been a bit amusing to witness, especially considering he was fairly sure Moth didn't even remember most of her old interactions with Snowbound. To hear him talk as if he was an expert... it was ludicrous. Letting out a soft hum that would hopefully provide the other with some comfort, Aurum turned to touch his nose to Atbash's head before be continued, "I hadn't yet come to Tanglewood when all that happened, but I had heard of Snowbound... heard of the tragedy of it all, when I did arrive here. You're a good person, Atbash. You did all you could for a group that you cared about, and I'm sure that you were a good leader. To blame yourself for Snowbound's downfall, especially considering what terrible acts were committed against you and the group as a whole... it would be ridiculous. So ridiculous I'd have to demote you for even believing such a thing for a second." His tone was clearly joking as he spoke that last part, offering the former leader a gentle smile tinged with amusement.

[ATBASH CIPHER.]

ATBASH CIPHER

you laugh and smile at me, but you don't see a thing !

Atbash had to realize that no one really knew the whole truth, unless they were there for what happened. While not impossible, she doubted anyone who had been there would be still around. Or at the very least, she hadn't seen anyone she used to know in Snowbound, other than Stryker and Goldenluxury - though they didn't really count, did they? Stryker was the cause of Snowbound's downfall (or at least, she believed he had some part of it) and Goldie had lost her memories. Still, it was reassuring to hear that not everyone shared Atticus's opinions and she pressed against Aurum in response to him doing so to her.

Honestly, the fact that Aurum and Arrow were being so comforting and reassuring made Atbash sniff, trying to control her tears that were threatening to fall. Though this time they were happy-tears, relieved to have some sort of support system. Even if they weren't around for Snowbound or knew the whole story, they were still trying their best to reassure her and it was heart-warming. At Aurum's joke, she chuckled a bit, again appreciating the Luminary's attempt to cheer her up. "Thank you, all three of you," Atbash replied, looking at Elsweyr, Arrow, and Aurum in turn. "It's hard not to blame myself, especially considering I was their leader." She went on, deciding to vent out her thoughts to her clanmates that were clearly willing to listen. "Atticus had a point in saying that they relied on me to protect them, but he didn't realize that it had been my order for everyone to flee. I didn't want anyone to fight back until we were in a safer environment, but of course by the time that happened, everyone had scattered." There was a pause as Atbash sniffed again. "Maybe I should have done better to track everyone down, then Snowbound would be around still. Not at their old home for sure, but..."

bio | female | shaderunner [shp] of tanglewood

© madi