THE HARDEST PART OF THIS IS LEAVING YOU | [death]

[Luciferr]

JAIME ROUX

"vengeance is just hope with a history"

He had ignored this for too long, avoided going to Roan for too long with the veritable laundry list of more and more issues he kept having - his bones ached, his limbs hurting to even shuffle now, the scales kept growing in, more and more until they suffocated the fur he had and grew scabby and painful across his body - even his wings were stiff.

The fur on his tail had started falling off in clumps and his own teeth seemed to be falling out, even as he felt newer ones underneath,

His mind, his thoughts feel hazy between the pain and everything that confuses him - everything felt sharper and stranger scents he didn’t know agitated him

In the last days before he shut himself away he’d snapped at anyone and everyone, save for his family - but even then he’d started snapping, temper growing frighteningly short as the pain grew too much to bear,

He’d been lying on his bed for days now, struggling to breathe through it, every inhale a knife, every exhale a dagger through his ribs,

It hurt so much

And he wanted nothing more than his mother right now but he couldn’t, she was busy, she had to help run the place with cousin Goldie so distraught - and cousin Goldie, he didn’t want to burden her after everything - and all his other siblings and cousins were too young (or so they felt like to him, he often wondered if he were one of those old souls people talked about) or too busy, like Roan.

He couldn’t ask more of them, not with so much busywork - and so much recent heartbreak,

So he had this morning, painfully, painfully shuffled out of his home towards the secluded beach on the further side of the island - he wanted the peace and he didn’t want the others to fuss when they had so much else to deal with,

Like sam’s death for one - and Helping Goldie in the aftermath, especially with the newborn cousins.

and now, he thinks, this might be the end - mutation or not, he doesn’t think he’ll survive it,

It hurts, it hurts so much,

Jaime lies his thinned form down on the soft sands, lying on his side taking painfully shallow breaths,

He can feel the tears prick at the corners of his eyes

He doesn’t want to die,

He doesn’t want to die alone,

But, perhaps it’s better they didn’t know, that way his death won’t be a drawn out pain for them, they will simply find him gone, mourn and move forward - he hopes anyway - he didn’t want them to see how far it had gone from simple sparse scales and shaky limbs to this thin husk covered in scabbed scales and patchwork fur, tired and worn eyes with a tail that lacks any fur and willowy limbs that refuse to stop shaking,

He’s hardly what they would have last remembered seeing him as, but he’s glad perhaps they’ll think of what he was before now, he’s awful just to see as he is,

His muddied thoughts blur together as his eyes spill over in tears, the fire tearing his insides apart is getting hotter, it hurts,,

It hurts mom

I’m sorry,

Jaime’s sight goes black.

tags - penned by LUCIFERR

template by orion

[roan ;]

Sometimes, Roan wondered if he was too paranoid. He wondered if he stressed out too much about his duties as soothsayer, or maybe he just overestimated how much those within the group got hurt. But then, someone would get hurt, and they would hide it. They would stash that knowledge away, stubbornly insisting over and over again that they were fine, and that they didn't need his help. When the feline met those people, and saw what they were hiding away, he realized that his fears were entirely reasonable. He couldn't bear the thought of someone dying because of him, and he had already been feeling like a failure as of late. For a brief time, he had thought that it was his fault that Sam was dead. That he was to blame for the pain that had been inflicted on Goldie, as well as the rest of her family. It had been his burden to bear, and it had eventually come crushing down on him, eventually causing him to snap and break. He could still remember the crash of the lightning against the shore, and the exhaustion that tugged him down into unconsciousness. It hadn't been fun, and he had no desire to repeat the experience.

Recovery was a funny thing, and for a while, the medic had thought that he was finally on the road towards it. He had taken up his position once again, and while he had broken, he had also picked up the pieces, and put himself back together again. It seemed as though the universe wasn't happy with that, however, as it intended on knocking the humpty dumpty that was Roan Ó Foaláin-Roux all the way back down again.

Roan had known of Jaime's issues. He had been there when the scales first pierced the other's skin, and he had carefully treated his younger brother's injuries. Since then, Jaime had kept everything under wraps, and since the draconic feline now lived on his own, he had been unaware of the changes his little brother was going through. He hadn't known about the snapping, nor the pain. Maybe if he had known... maybe if he had been there, he would've been able to stop it. Would've been able to save one of the people in the world that meant the most to him. Instead, now all he could do was grieve. Grieve, and blame himself for the sight he came upon that morning, as he walked idly along the shore. He had been fine, up to that point. He had just been walking, searching for herbs that grew along the line of where water met shore. The day had been so quiet, and it had seemed so peaceful. Then, the scent of Jaime had overtaken him, causing him to lift his head.

Internally, Roan knew that he had known his brother's fate from the moment he spotted him. It was impossible not to, considering the limp body that laid atop the sands, and the scent of death that lingered on the air. Yet still, the soothsayer was throwing himself forward, a scream ripping out of his throat before he could stop it, "JAIME!" There was, of course, no response. Why would there be? Roan had failed yet another person, and now he was forced to listen to the silence of the air. No longer did it feel peaceful, or comforting. Instead the silence was deafening, and seemed to choke the air from him as he collapsed beside his older brother. He didn't even realize he was crying, until he felt the wetness dripping from his chin, splattering against the sands below them. The medic's body trembled as he slowly curled up beside Jaime's form, disfigured and deathly cold to the touch. He continued to sob for his little brother, hiccups interrupting his speech as he whispered, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I should've helped... I'm sorry. Please come back..."

He had failed.

Again.

ROAN Ó FOALÁIN-ROUX - THE TYPHOON - SOOTHSAYER

[sup]template made by tikki[/sup]

[ROXANNE R.]

me dejaste, me dejaste en un tango

If Roxanne had knew that her own blood would've been the death of her own son, she would've never had children... Never would've put them through that pain. Roxanne had been busy baking a few muffins that she had been planning to go give to her children and she had neatly put them together in a basket until the scream of someone caught her off guard. The scream belonging to Roan and her blood went cold, with her eyes widened. It didn't take long for the Officer to drop everything and ran towards the direction of the scream feeling her insides twist around nervously, it wasn't long before she saw why Roan had screamed. Roxanne stopped in her tracks feeling her heart drop and everything around her went silent, soft static in her mind as she took a few steps forward. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. Jaime was just tired... Yeah, he was sleeping... That was it. There was no way that her baby was dead... No possible way.

A few more steps would the Officer take hearing the thumping of her own heart drumming within her ears. Jaime was alive. He was slowly breathing, she could see it. Her walking was hesitant and slow but she finally approached the corpse of her son and Roan only to mumble quietly underneath her breath "He's just tired..." She pressed close to Roan only to put her wing around him "He just fell asleep on the sand... We just need to wake him up and take him home... Then we can eat the muffins I made," Turning away from her firstborn, the Officer would start to nudge Jaime slowly at first "C'mon mijo... Wake up, Jaime... Let's get you to bed, the sand isn't that comfortable." He didn't move. Maybe... Maybe he wanted to sleep in the sand? "I know it's warm... But, it'll be better inside the hut." She began to nudge him once more with her smile beginning to falter. Why wasn't he moving? "Jaime... Jaime Alexander Roux," It slipped out as a whisper at first, her nudging and shaking still persistent.

No. No. No. No.

It suddenly hit her. It hit hard. He wasn't moving or breathing. And, it immediately reminded her of her two dead kittens. How they had been fine before dying the next day. Her eyes stung and her throat became tight, her heart being tested and squeezed as she finally mustered up a scream from her jaws. An agonized and broken scream leaving her jaws with her body shaking violently, the tears pooling in her eyes as they slipped down her face. She pressed her body close to Jaime shifting into her jaguar form so she could hold onto him, her nose pressing itself onto his cold forehead. The draconic jaguar unable to stop shaking only to breathe out quietly "I'm s-sorry... Regresa mí bebé... Por favor... REGRESA JAIME!" She was a horrible mother. She had failed her children more than once. She had hurt them even if it had not been her intention to. Soft sobs leaving her as she still held onto Jaime and pulled him close to her with his head resting on her chest.

Pieces of her heart began to crumble away, she had done this. She had sealed her own son's death. It was her fault. Everything around her was silent and static, still almost. Everything was slower and all she could hear is the thumping of her heart. Oh, how she wishes that she could've traded places with Jaime. He had so much to live for... He could've met someone, fallen in love, and gotten married. He would've been happy. He would be alive. She'd trade herself any day if that meant that her children would be safe and happy. Too late. All of it was too late. With her muzzle still pressed close to her cold child's head, she would start to murmur quietly to him even if he was gone "I remember... When you were born... With the rest of your siblings... You were and still are precious to me... All of you... That day..." Her body began to shake once more as she gritted her teeth "You were so full of life... So full of life, mí bebé... I wish you were still..." She would rock her body back and forth recalling how she would do that to soothe Roan and his siblings. How it calmed them... But it only made the Officer cry even more.

There a broken mother would rock back and forth with her dead child cradled in her arms.

EN EL ALMA SE ME FUE, SE ME FUE EL CORAZÓN
YA NO TENGO GANAS DE VIVIR, PORQUE NO TE PUEDO CONVENCER
QUE NO TE VENDAS, ROXANNE

— Reggan

[Simon F.M.]

Take what you need while there's time
The city will be earth in a short while
If I'm not mistaken it's been in flames
You and I will escape to the seaside

Diya had been lounging in her kitchen with her girlfriend, watching her bake, when hell broke loose. Panic struck her bones as she watched the officer flee, leaving all sorts of a mess behind. She was torn between staying to clean and following after. Quickly, she scooped up the fallen basket, scooping the muffins back into it. They were nowhere as neat as as the way Roxanne had placed them but, it would do. She gently set the basket down, dropping a piece of fabric across them.

As she was debating following after, Roxanne's scream pierced the air. Fear grasped her and choked her as she dashed out of her home, body morphing and growing as adrenaline flooded her veins. By the time she reached the scene, everything had truly fallen apart. Rapidly taking in the scene, she felt ice flood her veins and replace the adrenaline rapidly. As she took it all in, her body relaxed and she shrunk into her normal feline form once more.

She felt like an outsider, watching a scene that she should not be privy too. Unsure of what to do, she slowly approached, settling directly behind the mourners. Laying her tail over Roan in an attept of comfort, she pressed her forehead against Roxanne's spine, hoping to help ground her.

[APHRA CIPHER .]

[glow=grey,1,400]FOR ONCE, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST COME AND CHASE ME ? — ｡+ﾟ.[/glow]

Perhaps Aphra being here was a bad sign, given how she had reacted to previous deaths. But fortunately for the Roux family - namely, Roxanne and Roan - the stark she-cat didn't approach the scene to cause trouble. No, Aphra was merely here to observe and was mostly curious as to why Roxanne and Roan were screaming.

Jaime was dead. Aphra's kinked tail flicked upon realizing this, but the feline said nothing. She hadn't been close to Jaime and never really formed an opinion of him, unlike Sam. She simply watched the scene, a frown on her face - but Aphra said nothing. Perhaps it was for the better.[glow=COLOR,1,400] ━ ✧*:･ﾟ[/glow]

[bubblegum]

DEAR FRIEND as you know,  your flowers are withering
your mother's gone insane, your leaves have drifted away.
but the clouds are clearing up
and i've come reveling, burning incandescently,
like a bastard on the burning sea.

YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER,
BURIED DEEP UNDER THE WATER.

The sound of cries, commotion, would be what hesitantly brought the female. Before, she would run, try her hardest to find the trouble before it was too late. But it was always too late. And she was tired. Death gripped the air, every waking day, and the tigress could say nothing. She was transported, smaller, crippled, back to a time where fear drowned her out. Pain floating around, guilt hanging above, the bodies, the eyes, staring down to her.

But she'd burned it down. Burned it all down.

So, why, did the tigress feel this way still? Why did she watch, helplessly, as her family dropped like flies? Perhaps it was a bad omen. The Gods trying to prove something to her, shout to her that she has done them wrong somehow, and that this was her punishment. Perhaps an unknown enemy lingered in the air, taking all it seemed fit, no mercy whether they were mothers, lovers, cousins, sons, friends. He was still a child. And such a fate was not suited for children. It was not their time. A paw would reach out to step forward, she thought, but her body remains where it is. Detachment, not unlike weeks before when she'd awoken to the body in her bed. The thorns pierced, pointing directly into their skin. The roses were wilting.

And there she stands, unable to do anything but stare as her younger cousin lay there, dead, brother crying, mother breaking.

[div style="font-size: 11px; color: #008ab5; font-family: georgia; text-align: center; line-height: 100%; word-spacing: 10px; padding: 3%;"]ϟ    ϟ    ϟ
[i][b]whose side are you on? [color=#008ab5]what side is this anyway?
put  down  your  sword  and  crown,
come  lay  with  me  on  the  ground.
you come beating like moth's wings, spastic and violently,
whipping me into a storm shaking me down to the core.

[natyli r.]

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NATYLI ROUX
BETA
TAGS && INFO

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[div style="width: 360px; font-family: palatino; color: #76b8cc; text-align: left; padding-top: 15px; padding-left: 10px"]COME AND FLY AW[color=#6897be]AY WI[color=#628ab9]TH ME

The chimera had been on her way to to shore when the sound hit.  The sound of her brother's name.  Her paws froze like ice in the sand.  Breath stilling.  No.  No.  Not Jamie.

Not Jamie.

Not Jamie.

But she knows.  It's a weight settled on her chest like an anchor.  Pulling her under.  Sinking.  Sinking.  Her steps are automatic and she doesn't quite feel the sand beneath her, trembling as she reached her mother.  Mother.  Brother.  Brother.

"J-Jamie?" Already gone.  Sinking.  Sinking.  "J-Jam?" Sinking.  Drowning.  Tears streak down her cheek.  Boiling over she doesn't quite feel, her lungs fighting against her.  "Jam?"  Please.

Could she have fixed this?  Stopped this?  Could she have saved him?  She took so much care.  So much.  But she didn't understand.  Maybe she couldn't bring good or bad luck to anyone.  Maybe... She should stop playing with dolls.  She didn't want dolls.

She just wanted her brother.

She wanted her brother.

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© MADI