HEAD EMPTY ☆ recorder

[michael t.]

ALL I FOUND THE SPACE BETWEEN THE SPACES
STANDING IN THE NOTHING, AND TIME RECLAIMS YOU

For a moment, Michael didn't seem to move or even vaguely shift in response to the questions from both Danny and Keona. The dealer seemed to be entirely zoned out, mismatched gaze focused solely on the recorder between his paws. Eventually, though, he snapped out of it. The wind pressing lightly at his fur made him look up, and he blinked at both Danny and Keona in vague surprise. How long had they been standing there for? He felt a faint rush of heat come to his face beneath his thick fur, but he tried his best to ignore it. Hopefully the pair wouldn't think that he was ignoring them. Pressing his tongue lightly against the roof of his mouth, the bobcat pushed forward the recorder, muttering as he showed it to Danny, "Ah... this. It's a small recorder, meant for recording... well, pretty much whatever you want. I've had it for quite a while now." He knew full well that didn't explain why he wound want to destroy it. Really, he just needed a minute.

Keona's concerned tone made him settle slightly, if only because it stopped the feeling of his heart strangling him that had set in. Taking in a deep breath, he offered his fellow dealer a slightly strained smile, "I'm alright, I promise. I just... this recorder has... old recordings on it. Trev... Trevor's voice. I had honestly forgotten I had it." He was fairly sure that would be enough to explain to Keona why he was upset. As for Danny... well, the canine had arrived after Trevor's passing. It was natural he wouldn't know who Michael was talking about. So, after another deep breath, the thief muttered to Danny, "Trevor... he was my husband. He passed away, a couple of months ago. I hadn't heard his voice in... well, what felt like ages, at least to me." He knew that a couple of months wasn't that long when someone so close to you died, but he still felt a bit ridiculous. Why did the grief still sting so much?

Shaking his head from side to side to try and sort himself out, Michael then explained further, "I was thinking about destroying it. After all, I didn't even remember I had these recordings. And I'm not really sure that it's healthy to keep them around..." He couldn't deny that it was nice, being able to hear Trevor's voice again. However, it was also incredibly painful. And if he managed to recover from his grief more in the future... he didn't want to send himself into a spiral just because he discovered the recorder once more.

— Reggan