12-16-2020, 02:19 PM
The first few days of recovery, Sophiea had stayed within her home and not much happened. The winged feline had been bandaged up when Moth had arrived to provide healing, she had been grateful that both Aurum and Goldenluxury had been the first people to see her even if she didn't look her best at the time. She knew that she had betrayed everyone around her and that was something that was currently bothering her that night, Sophiea could've handled things a lot better than she originally had but... It wasn't as if she could say no when Eternalknight's life was being threatened by Stryker, she didn't have much of a choice then and even now, it was hard to make decisions on what to do with herself so she stayed within the confines of her home festering with guilt and disgust for herself. Most nights, she was restless and unable to find sleep knowing well enough that if she had been braver and stronger, she wouldn't have become one of Stryker's mindless puppets but she knew that wasn't entirely true given that the lion had somehow gotten an elephant sized elephant wrapped around his claw. She rested her chin on her forepaws with half closed eyes as a soft breath would leave her slightly parted jaws "Gormless... Absolutely gormless, Sophiea."
Though her tufted ears pricked forward and she rose to her paws noticing the moon's reflection from a puddle near her porch, Sophiea would grit her teeth as she rose to her paws trying to ignore the wave of pain that would flow over her body due to the sudden movement. She hobbled for a moment as she managed to get outside, her gaze turning to the sky as she would admire the moon from where she stood though her attention diverted when she realized that Goldenluxury was outside staring at the moon. Her heart fluttered for a moment but her eyes would glance down feeling that guilt grip at her heart and squeeze it. You should leave her be... You did enough damage, she thought bitterly to herself about to retreat into the safety of her home until she realized something shining within the moonlight that a tear slipped down the tigress' cheeks. "Damn..." She hissed under her breath as her head would duck with ears pressed flat against her head, this was all her fault and Soph felt too guilty to leave Goldie out there by herself. Stop being a ninny, Sophiea! Go out there and apologize you massive twit, she lifted a paw noticing how shaky it was but she would carefully make her way down her porch stairs nearly tripping at the last step.
Although, she was fortunate enough to catch herself as she gritted her teeth in pain but she decided to ignore it. The winged feline would then start to make her way over to the captain of the Typhoon and could recall the first time that they had met... A practical prank... I always loathed them yet... It was different when you had decided to pull it, the warmth began to rise in her cheeks but she would take in a deep breath until she finally stood by Goldie. She was silent for a moment only to speak out as a frown tugged at her maw "Why do you weep, my Captain?" She would sit down slowly as she tried to dig through her mind to say something comforting yet all that came to mind was the poetry that she had read in her spare time. "And I hope you do not mind my company tonight." She shuffled there awkwardly for a moment as her eyes would look up to the moon and she closed them for a moment as she would speak out a poem "Stay strong through your pain, grow flowers from it." There was a pause before she continued with a light shake of her cranium "You have helped me grow flowers out of mine so... Bloom beautifully. Dangerously. Loudly, bloom softly. However you need... Just bloom." She would fall into silence letting that sink in.
She would shakily lift her paw to wipe away the tears from Goldie's eyes and cheeks before moving it away realizing what she was doing, she cleared her throat as she looked away feeling the familiar heat take its place on her face "You... We'll get through this." Sophiea fell silent once more though she knew that the tigress deserved an explanation for her treachery that day, she glanced down at her paws feeling her own eyes beginning to sting but she refused to cry just yet as she managed to say in a shaky voice "Why... Why did you help me? ... When... When I was a traitor?" She could feel several mixed emotions blossoming within her chest as her claws dug into the soil underneath her "You... You shouldn't have after what I did..." Her body felt hot as she shook lightly, she closed her eyes feeling a few tears slide down "Friends don't backstab another friend... I was a twit, I shouldn't have done it... I hurt you, Eternalknight, and Aurum... And and... Everyone else!" She lifted a shaky paw as she wiped away her tears feeling anger pulsate through her remembering that damned lion "I couldn't... I can't... I wasn't strong enough... He had my kin... He could've died cause of me but... The raid... I couldn't... I turned on him yet... It still doesn't excuse what I did to my new home." She took a deep breath realizing that she was just being selfish now.
"I'm glad that you're safe now... But that snake is still out there... And I can't stand that fact and knowing that I'm useless..." She growled bitterly glancing over to her wings but wasn't able to look for long, the absence of her flight feathers only reminded her how much of a useless lump of fur she had become. Sophiea looked at the moon once more only to turn to Goldie as she finally said "I just... Want you to know how horribly sorry I am... And I know an apology isn't enough to take back my actions... But know that I genuinely mean it... My apology... And thank you... For helping me even if... All I did was bring harm to you," She would rise to her paws slowly as she cleared her throat with ears still pressed flat against her skull, her gaze on the ground now as she stood there in silence "I will leave you be if you wish... After all of this is over, you needn't worry about receiving letters from me." It hurt but if Goldenluxury felt uncomfortable or angry whenever Sophiea sent out a letter, well, the winged feline would rather not send anything at all even if it had became a favorite pastime of hers. Hell, she often to forgot to write to Roan only concentrating on her letter to the captain... She could feel her heart aching horribly but she was willing to sacrifice the written letters. She was certain that Aurum would keep her busy doing something else.
"And I can leave you be now, if you wish."
Though her tufted ears pricked forward and she rose to her paws noticing the moon's reflection from a puddle near her porch, Sophiea would grit her teeth as she rose to her paws trying to ignore the wave of pain that would flow over her body due to the sudden movement. She hobbled for a moment as she managed to get outside, her gaze turning to the sky as she would admire the moon from where she stood though her attention diverted when she realized that Goldenluxury was outside staring at the moon. Her heart fluttered for a moment but her eyes would glance down feeling that guilt grip at her heart and squeeze it. You should leave her be... You did enough damage, she thought bitterly to herself about to retreat into the safety of her home until she realized something shining within the moonlight that a tear slipped down the tigress' cheeks. "Damn..." She hissed under her breath as her head would duck with ears pressed flat against her head, this was all her fault and Soph felt too guilty to leave Goldie out there by herself. Stop being a ninny, Sophiea! Go out there and apologize you massive twit, she lifted a paw noticing how shaky it was but she would carefully make her way down her porch stairs nearly tripping at the last step.
Although, she was fortunate enough to catch herself as she gritted her teeth in pain but she decided to ignore it. The winged feline would then start to make her way over to the captain of the Typhoon and could recall the first time that they had met... A practical prank... I always loathed them yet... It was different when you had decided to pull it, the warmth began to rise in her cheeks but she would take in a deep breath until she finally stood by Goldie. She was silent for a moment only to speak out as a frown tugged at her maw "Why do you weep, my Captain?" She would sit down slowly as she tried to dig through her mind to say something comforting yet all that came to mind was the poetry that she had read in her spare time. "And I hope you do not mind my company tonight." She shuffled there awkwardly for a moment as her eyes would look up to the moon and she closed them for a moment as she would speak out a poem "Stay strong through your pain, grow flowers from it." There was a pause before she continued with a light shake of her cranium "You have helped me grow flowers out of mine so... Bloom beautifully. Dangerously. Loudly, bloom softly. However you need... Just bloom." She would fall into silence letting that sink in.
She would shakily lift her paw to wipe away the tears from Goldie's eyes and cheeks before moving it away realizing what she was doing, she cleared her throat as she looked away feeling the familiar heat take its place on her face "You... We'll get through this." Sophiea fell silent once more though she knew that the tigress deserved an explanation for her treachery that day, she glanced down at her paws feeling her own eyes beginning to sting but she refused to cry just yet as she managed to say in a shaky voice "Why... Why did you help me? ... When... When I was a traitor?" She could feel several mixed emotions blossoming within her chest as her claws dug into the soil underneath her "You... You shouldn't have after what I did..." Her body felt hot as she shook lightly, she closed her eyes feeling a few tears slide down "Friends don't backstab another friend... I was a twit, I shouldn't have done it... I hurt you, Eternalknight, and Aurum... And and... Everyone else!" She lifted a shaky paw as she wiped away her tears feeling anger pulsate through her remembering that damned lion "I couldn't... I can't... I wasn't strong enough... He had my kin... He could've died cause of me but... The raid... I couldn't... I turned on him yet... It still doesn't excuse what I did to my new home." She took a deep breath realizing that she was just being selfish now.
"I'm glad that you're safe now... But that snake is still out there... And I can't stand that fact and knowing that I'm useless..." She growled bitterly glancing over to her wings but wasn't able to look for long, the absence of her flight feathers only reminded her how much of a useless lump of fur she had become. Sophiea looked at the moon once more only to turn to Goldie as she finally said "I just... Want you to know how horribly sorry I am... And I know an apology isn't enough to take back my actions... But know that I genuinely mean it... My apology... And thank you... For helping me even if... All I did was bring harm to you," She would rise to her paws slowly as she cleared her throat with ears still pressed flat against her skull, her gaze on the ground now as she stood there in silence "I will leave you be if you wish... After all of this is over, you needn't worry about receiving letters from me." It hurt but if Goldenluxury felt uncomfortable or angry whenever Sophiea sent out a letter, well, the winged feline would rather not send anything at all even if it had became a favorite pastime of hers. Hell, she often to forgot to write to Roan only concentrating on her letter to the captain... She could feel her heart aching horribly but she was willing to sacrifice the written letters. She was certain that Aurum would keep her busy doing something else.
"And I can leave you be now, if you wish."