11-15-2020, 12:11 AM
LEADER ❝ RHINE ❞ PALMCLAN
Spirituality was something that Rhinestone had once clung to like a lifeline, using it as a guiding force as he had traversed life from kithood to when he finally became a warrior. With every step that he had taken, he had imagined that his ancestors were moving alongside him, the voices and spirits of Starclan proud of him as he went from Rhinestonekit, to Rhinestonepaw, to Rhinestoneeyes. Of course, when the ruddy tom had ended up stepping up from a senior warrior to his sudden mantle of leadership, he had expected Starclan to usher him into that phase of life as well. He had become leader through unusual circumstances, sure, but it wasn't as if he was betraying them. He had stepped up for the good of Palmclan, in order to make sure that they would all be alright, even in the wake of the horrific hurricane. Unfortunately, that day had been the day that his dreams had been dashed. He could still remember traveling to the Connection Cave, his heart pounding wildly as he had pressed his nose up against the cool surface of the Starshell. He had expected something, anything to happen. He had expected his ancestors to finally make themselves known, and provide him with the lives that leadership promised. Instead, he had been left with nothing but silence.
Ever since then, Rhine had carried that silence along with him, no longer able to feel the steps of Starclan in everything that he did. It was a sort of overwhelming emptiness, leaving him feeling pained, and betrayed. He had wanted to lash out, but he had ultimately kept himself silent, unwilling to say anything either way when he had an entire clan relying on him. After all, Starclan was still a part of the lives of many within Palmclan, and if they had known that Rhinestone never spoke to them, or received his lives... there would be a revolt. The mere thought was enough to make him sick, not wanting to be protested against and shoved from the position that he had worked so hard at, just trying his best to be a kind and competent leader. He didn't deserve to be ousted from that position, just because a bunch of cat spirits in the sky hadn't made themselves known to him. Well... made themselves known personally. Some claimed that Starclan had said enough, with every brutal event that had happened to Palmclan thus far, but he didn't agree with that. They had a rash of bad luck, that was all. No spirits involved, just... chance.
Or at least, that was how he had felt, up until Medusa's death. Now, he wasn't too sure of what was the truth. Down was up and up was down, and the leader held a heavy weight of grief on his shoulders, wondering if it was his fault the hybrid was gone. After all, they had denounced Starclan together, so what was to say that her death wasn't some kind of ironic punishment, meant for him? If that was the case, then he really wished that they just would've taken him, instead. He would've happily died to let Medusa go on living. It wasn't as if Palmclan couldn't replace him. Even if they didn't have a Deputy right now, someone would surely step up and keep them going. Hell, maybe even Medusa herself could've done it, with a bit of time. Instead, he was left without her at his side, having lost one of those that he had considered a friend. Not only that, but he had been left with a group that was collectively grieving, left without one of their senior warriors and someone who was like a caretaker to many. He knew Drifting to be one of those in grief, and he only wished he was able to somehow reach out.
That was why, when he heard the soft and scolding tone of Drifting's caretaker, he had lifted his head up from his nest, blinking slowly. His sickness was still getting worse, driving him to take naps far more often than usual these days. However, he was motivated enough to get up and step out of his den, ignoring the way that he temporarily felt nauseous, the world spinning around him. Walking over to where Drifting was laying, staring blankly from her nest, Rhine found himself coming to sit. The feline then tilted his head to one side, questioning, "Hello, Drifting... I heard your caretaker. What were you doing outside of camp?" He doubted it was anything dangerous, considering she didn't have a scratch on her, but there was still worry in his voice.
Ever since then, Rhine had carried that silence along with him, no longer able to feel the steps of Starclan in everything that he did. It was a sort of overwhelming emptiness, leaving him feeling pained, and betrayed. He had wanted to lash out, but he had ultimately kept himself silent, unwilling to say anything either way when he had an entire clan relying on him. After all, Starclan was still a part of the lives of many within Palmclan, and if they had known that Rhinestone never spoke to them, or received his lives... there would be a revolt. The mere thought was enough to make him sick, not wanting to be protested against and shoved from the position that he had worked so hard at, just trying his best to be a kind and competent leader. He didn't deserve to be ousted from that position, just because a bunch of cat spirits in the sky hadn't made themselves known to him. Well... made themselves known personally. Some claimed that Starclan had said enough, with every brutal event that had happened to Palmclan thus far, but he didn't agree with that. They had a rash of bad luck, that was all. No spirits involved, just... chance.
Or at least, that was how he had felt, up until Medusa's death. Now, he wasn't too sure of what was the truth. Down was up and up was down, and the leader held a heavy weight of grief on his shoulders, wondering if it was his fault the hybrid was gone. After all, they had denounced Starclan together, so what was to say that her death wasn't some kind of ironic punishment, meant for him? If that was the case, then he really wished that they just would've taken him, instead. He would've happily died to let Medusa go on living. It wasn't as if Palmclan couldn't replace him. Even if they didn't have a Deputy right now, someone would surely step up and keep them going. Hell, maybe even Medusa herself could've done it, with a bit of time. Instead, he was left without her at his side, having lost one of those that he had considered a friend. Not only that, but he had been left with a group that was collectively grieving, left without one of their senior warriors and someone who was like a caretaker to many. He knew Drifting to be one of those in grief, and he only wished he was able to somehow reach out.
That was why, when he heard the soft and scolding tone of Drifting's caretaker, he had lifted his head up from his nest, blinking slowly. His sickness was still getting worse, driving him to take naps far more often than usual these days. However, he was motivated enough to get up and step out of his den, ignoring the way that he temporarily felt nauseous, the world spinning around him. Walking over to where Drifting was laying, staring blankly from her nest, Rhine found himself coming to sit. The feline then tilted his head to one side, questioning, "Hello, Drifting... I heard your caretaker. What were you doing outside of camp?" He doubted it was anything dangerous, considering she didn't have a scratch on her, but there was still worry in his voice.
NEVER OPENED MYSELF THIS WAY
LIFE IS OURS, WE LIVE IT OUR WAY
LIFE IS OURS, WE LIVE IT OUR WAY
— Reggan
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( LEGATE ♡ THYLACINE ♡ ½ OF SUGARSTONE )
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( LEGATE ♡ THYLACINE ♡ ½ OF SUGARSTONE )