10-06-2020, 11:42 PM
Gifted
Warnings: Mentions of abuse, and vague mention of r*pe. Character deaths.
Warnings: Mentions of abuse, and vague mention of r*pe. Character deaths.
Spoiler:
Pawsteps were thumping outside my den, the small cry of an apprentice was heard, “Softsong! I have a thorn in my paw!”
I stood, shaking my soft blue fur, very disgruntled, “I couldn’t tell from your whimpering, Deerpaw. Give me your paw”
The younger held out his paw, blood oozing from the dirty paw pad, tears in his eyes, “I didn’t mean to Softsong, I promise.”
I sighed, my yellow eyes softened slightly, “I know.” I plucked the thorn out with my fangs and quickly wrapped the wound up, “There, now go back to doing what you were doing.”
“Thank you, Softsong!” Deerpaw ran off, keeping his weight off of his injured paw.
I sighed, heavier this time.
_________
I was born in the middle of leaf-bare. It was snowing, and all the other kits died from the cold. I was the only one left.
Starclan gave me a gift, and I never forgave them.
I can see the future.
_________
I looked around the moment I left the nursery.
And, all I could see was everyone’s death
I screamed and hid away for as long as my mother would stand. She forced me to tell her why I wouldn’t look at anyone, and when I told her.
I had no choice.
I became the medicine cat apprentice at 6 moons old.
I screamed and pleaded to become a warrior. It was all I wanted, I wanted to fight for my Clan, I wanted to protect my clanmates. I wanted to hunt, and learn to fight. I wanted to have kits. I didn’t have a choice. But, I could see the future of every cat I look into the eyes of.
“It is a gift from Starclan, not a curse”
It was a curse.
Everyone chanted my name, “Softpaw! Softpaw!”
_________
My mentor was Stoneface.
He was horrible. He would scream and try to put the fear of Starclan into me. He would ridicule me over the smallest things. He would hurt me when I messed up. I learned to sleep with one eye open.
I learned how to protect myself from a slate gray tomcat.
_________
I was presented to Starclan as an apprentice, I was apprenticed too late for the half-moon meeting. I had to wait until the next half-moon.
Stoneface sourly introduced me to the other medicine cats and took me before the Mooncove. I remember my ceremony with much disdain.
“Softpaw, is it your wish to enter the mysteries of StarClan as a medicine cat?”
“It is.” I didn’t mean it.
“Then come forward.” He beckoned me with his tail, his blue eyes slitted.
“Warriors of StarClan, I present you with this apprentice. They have chosen the path of a medicine cat. Grant them your wisdom and insight so that they may understand your ways and heal their Clan in accordance with your will.” he looked over at me, “Wade into the water and dream.”
I waded into the two-inch water and laid down. I dreamed.
I dreamed and I asked so many questions.
I could not control my destiny, I was born too early. I was to become a medicine cat and put my curse to use.
I never had a choice.
_______
“Do you understand now why I chose you to be a medicine cat?” Stoneface asked me on our way back to our clan, his eyes pitying (is it real or is it an act?).
“I will never forgive you, or Starclan.”
I was punished for denouncing our warrior ancestors.
I hate being touched anymore. I keep my tail low, even when I’m happy.
_______
I kept my mouth shut. I learned the herbs, I learned the treatments, and I became a full medicine cat.
“Softsong, do you know why I named you that?”
I didn’t answer.
“I knew you were always too soft to hurt a fly.”
Three seasons later, Stoneface disappeared.
I made him choke on his words and wished him luck in the Place of No Stars.
_______
I never dreamed with Starclan after my first one at the Mooncove.
I didn’t care if I went to little kitty hell for killing my mentor.
I didn’t care if I went to little kitty heaven.
I didn’t care if I walked between worlds.
Starclan cursed me, and I never will forgive them.
______
“Softsong!” Ashstar was calling me, a kit on the cusp of apprenticeship bounding after him, “I think this one has something to ask you.” he had a gentle smile and encouraging look at the little scamp.
The poor thing stammered, “I w-want to be a-a medicine c-cat!” he took a deep breath, “Iwanttohelpothersandhatethethoughtofhurtinganyoneandreallythinkyou’recool!”
I blinked, and looked just below Ashstar’s eyes, “Okay?”
The leader giggled as the kit gasped and bounced around and took off to tell their parents and siblings. Once the kit left, the leader stopped laughing, and looked at me, “Do you even know his name?”
“Of course, I delivered the little devil.” I scoffed, insulted by my own leader. “Besides, Graykit has been destined since birth to be a medicine cat apprentice.
Ashstar looked at me all pitiful, “I’m sorry for what Starclan did.”
I didn’t need his pity, I shooed him away.
I didn’t want to see him get killed 8 more times, three times by clanmates, twice by Greencough, once by a deer kick, once to poisoned water, and the last to being crushed by a tree.
Graykit wouldn’t live past apprenticeship.
_______
Graypaw was dying.
I tried to save him, I loved him as if he was my son. He was so close to getting his full name.
“Softsong? I can’t feel my legs.” he slurred his words, the tree branch slammed on his spine and when they pulled the branch off of the medicine cat apprentice, it was apparent he wouldn’t live.
“Graymask.”
“Your name is Graymask”
“I like that name.”
“I love you Softsong.”
________
I didn’t take an apprentice for years.
Starclan cursed all my apprentices to die.
Yarrowpaw died, she drowned.
Briarcloud died, she was poisoned.
Larkcry died, he was run over by a car.
Hazelpaw died, she had a heart attack.
Reedpaw died, he was killed by an uprising against Ashstar.
I never forgot Graymask.
_______
“I just want one apprentice to survive!” I screamed to the sky one half-moon meeting. I was dreaming. I haven’t dreamed in a long time.
“Don’t punish them because of me!”
All the apprentices I could’ve had surrounded me (where’s Graymask?), I had steered them away from their deaths as the medicine cat apprentice, but Starclan made other ways for them to die.
“Starclan is cruel, and we do not walk with them.” they all whispered as one, “You tried to save us, and Starclan refused.”
“They seem to meddle too much for their own good, eh, Softsong?”
“Graymask, I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t blame you.”
_______
“You should’ve never have killed Stoneface.” the Starclan cats whispered, it was loud.
“He was just doing what he was told.”
“So you told him to abuse me and hurt me?”
“No.”
“He deserved to die.”
“Not by your claws.”
“Then why did his eyes tell me otherwise?”
_______
“Softsong?”
I hummed at the apprentice who entered my den, letting him know I’m listening.
“I want to be a medicine cat instead.”
“Okay.”
I never looked into his eyes.
_______
I presented the tom next half-moon. I was happy, I hadn’t felt like this since I had Graymask.
“Cloverpaw, is it your wish to enter the mysteries of StarClan as a medicine cat?”
“Absolutely!” he grinned, I smiled.
“Then come forward.” he stepped up to me, “Warriors of StarClan, I present you with this apprentice. They have chosen the path of a medicine cat. Grant them your wisdom and insight so that they may understand your ways and heal their Clan in accordance with your will.”
“Wade into the Mooncove and dream.”
_______
Cloverpaw learned quickly.
Ashstar gave his last life to save Cloverpaw from getting struck by a falling tree.
His deputy became Wolfstar. I never looked into his eyes.
I didn’t want to know.
______
After Deerpaw left, I tidied the den. Cloverpaw was fast asleep, he helped deliver kits at sunrise, so I let him rest (Stoneface still haunted me, telling me I was being too soft on him).
I decided to tell Cloverpaw one day about my curse.
I would tell him everything.
Maybe it’s time to learn to forgive.
I stood, shaking my soft blue fur, very disgruntled, “I couldn’t tell from your whimpering, Deerpaw. Give me your paw”
The younger held out his paw, blood oozing from the dirty paw pad, tears in his eyes, “I didn’t mean to Softsong, I promise.”
I sighed, my yellow eyes softened slightly, “I know.” I plucked the thorn out with my fangs and quickly wrapped the wound up, “There, now go back to doing what you were doing.”
“Thank you, Softsong!” Deerpaw ran off, keeping his weight off of his injured paw.
I sighed, heavier this time.
_________
I was born in the middle of leaf-bare. It was snowing, and all the other kits died from the cold. I was the only one left.
Starclan gave me a gift, and I never forgave them.
I can see the future.
_________
I looked around the moment I left the nursery.
And, all I could see was everyone’s death
I screamed and hid away for as long as my mother would stand. She forced me to tell her why I wouldn’t look at anyone, and when I told her.
I had no choice.
I became the medicine cat apprentice at 6 moons old.
I screamed and pleaded to become a warrior. It was all I wanted, I wanted to fight for my Clan, I wanted to protect my clanmates. I wanted to hunt, and learn to fight. I wanted to have kits. I didn’t have a choice. But, I could see the future of every cat I look into the eyes of.
“It is a gift from Starclan, not a curse”
It was a curse.
Everyone chanted my name, “Softpaw! Softpaw!”
_________
My mentor was Stoneface.
He was horrible. He would scream and try to put the fear of Starclan into me. He would ridicule me over the smallest things. He would hurt me when I messed up. I learned to sleep with one eye open.
I learned how to protect myself from a slate gray tomcat.
_________
I was presented to Starclan as an apprentice, I was apprenticed too late for the half-moon meeting. I had to wait until the next half-moon.
Stoneface sourly introduced me to the other medicine cats and took me before the Mooncove. I remember my ceremony with much disdain.
“Softpaw, is it your wish to enter the mysteries of StarClan as a medicine cat?”
“It is.” I didn’t mean it.
“Then come forward.” He beckoned me with his tail, his blue eyes slitted.
“Warriors of StarClan, I present you with this apprentice. They have chosen the path of a medicine cat. Grant them your wisdom and insight so that they may understand your ways and heal their Clan in accordance with your will.” he looked over at me, “Wade into the water and dream.”
I waded into the two-inch water and laid down. I dreamed.
I dreamed and I asked so many questions.
I could not control my destiny, I was born too early. I was to become a medicine cat and put my curse to use.
I never had a choice.
_______
“Do you understand now why I chose you to be a medicine cat?” Stoneface asked me on our way back to our clan, his eyes pitying (is it real or is it an act?).
“I will never forgive you, or Starclan.”
I was punished for denouncing our warrior ancestors.
I hate being touched anymore. I keep my tail low, even when I’m happy.
_______
I kept my mouth shut. I learned the herbs, I learned the treatments, and I became a full medicine cat.
“Softsong, do you know why I named you that?”
I didn’t answer.
“I knew you were always too soft to hurt a fly.”
Three seasons later, Stoneface disappeared.
I made him choke on his words and wished him luck in the Place of No Stars.
_______
I never dreamed with Starclan after my first one at the Mooncove.
I didn’t care if I went to little kitty hell for killing my mentor.
I didn’t care if I went to little kitty heaven.
I didn’t care if I walked between worlds.
Starclan cursed me, and I never will forgive them.
______
“Softsong!” Ashstar was calling me, a kit on the cusp of apprenticeship bounding after him, “I think this one has something to ask you.” he had a gentle smile and encouraging look at the little scamp.
The poor thing stammered, “I w-want to be a-a medicine c-cat!” he took a deep breath, “Iwanttohelpothersandhatethethoughtofhurtinganyoneandreallythinkyou’recool!”
I blinked, and looked just below Ashstar’s eyes, “Okay?”
The leader giggled as the kit gasped and bounced around and took off to tell their parents and siblings. Once the kit left, the leader stopped laughing, and looked at me, “Do you even know his name?”
“Of course, I delivered the little devil.” I scoffed, insulted by my own leader. “Besides, Graykit has been destined since birth to be a medicine cat apprentice.
Ashstar looked at me all pitiful, “I’m sorry for what Starclan did.”
I didn’t need his pity, I shooed him away.
I didn’t want to see him get killed 8 more times, three times by clanmates, twice by Greencough, once by a deer kick, once to poisoned water, and the last to being crushed by a tree.
Graykit wouldn’t live past apprenticeship.
_______
Graypaw was dying.
I tried to save him, I loved him as if he was my son. He was so close to getting his full name.
“Softsong? I can’t feel my legs.” he slurred his words, the tree branch slammed on his spine and when they pulled the branch off of the medicine cat apprentice, it was apparent he wouldn’t live.
“Graymask.”
“Your name is Graymask”
“I like that name.”
“I love you Softsong.”
________
I didn’t take an apprentice for years.
Starclan cursed all my apprentices to die.
Yarrowpaw died, she drowned.
Briarcloud died, she was poisoned.
Larkcry died, he was run over by a car.
Hazelpaw died, she had a heart attack.
Reedpaw died, he was killed by an uprising against Ashstar.
I never forgot Graymask.
_______
“I just want one apprentice to survive!” I screamed to the sky one half-moon meeting. I was dreaming. I haven’t dreamed in a long time.
“Don’t punish them because of me!”
All the apprentices I could’ve had surrounded me (where’s Graymask?), I had steered them away from their deaths as the medicine cat apprentice, but Starclan made other ways for them to die.
“Starclan is cruel, and we do not walk with them.” they all whispered as one, “You tried to save us, and Starclan refused.”
“They seem to meddle too much for their own good, eh, Softsong?”
“Graymask, I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t blame you.”
_______
“You should’ve never have killed Stoneface.” the Starclan cats whispered, it was loud.
“He was just doing what he was told.”
“So you told him to abuse me and hurt me?”
“No.”
“He deserved to die.”
“Not by your claws.”
“Then why did his eyes tell me otherwise?”
_______
“Softsong?”
I hummed at the apprentice who entered my den, letting him know I’m listening.
“I want to be a medicine cat instead.”
“Okay.”
I never looked into his eyes.
_______
I presented the tom next half-moon. I was happy, I hadn’t felt like this since I had Graymask.
“Cloverpaw, is it your wish to enter the mysteries of StarClan as a medicine cat?”
“Absolutely!” he grinned, I smiled.
“Then come forward.” he stepped up to me, “Warriors of StarClan, I present you with this apprentice. They have chosen the path of a medicine cat. Grant them your wisdom and insight so that they may understand your ways and heal their Clan in accordance with your will.”
“Wade into the Mooncove and dream.”
_______
Cloverpaw learned quickly.
Ashstar gave his last life to save Cloverpaw from getting struck by a falling tree.
His deputy became Wolfstar. I never looked into his eyes.
I didn’t want to know.
______
After Deerpaw left, I tidied the den. Cloverpaw was fast asleep, he helped deliver kits at sunrise, so I let him rest (Stoneface still haunted me, telling me I was being too soft on him).
I decided to tell Cloverpaw one day about my curse.
I would tell him everything.
Maybe it’s time to learn to forgive.