08-22-2019, 12:18 PM
[glow=#000,1,400]MY MAMA SAID THAT I'M NOT LIVING RIGHT. YOU RAISED A LION, MAMA, I AIN'T LYING, MAMA — ｡+ﾟ.[/glow]
The heavy sobs that wracked Wormwood's body eased up slightly when he heard approaching footsteps, and he opened his eyes, taking deep breaths to try and ease the startling lack of oxygen that was filling up his chest. His blue gaze fell upon Ament first, taking in the startled and confused expression on the raptor's face, before he slowly tried to push himself up to his paws again. He hated seeing the pain that was painted across Ament's face, and he felt like he had to stop whatever was making Ament look like that, before he realized it was him. it was his Aurum that was causing him this pain. He felt another wave of sadness strike him as he came to this realization, and he slowly stepped towards where Ament was standing, his voice hoarse as he rumbled softly, [glow=#165042,1,400]"Ament... d-don't worry about me. I'm alright, see? Good as new."[/glow] His voice was absolutely wrecked from the crying, but he tried to keep it steady and calm, in order to provide a warm and calm easing feeling to the clearly upset utahraptor. Even as his insides felt like they had been scratched and devastated by the emotions that had hit him so suddenly, he tried to focus on others, hoping that it would make him feel less like he was falling apart for no reason. He hated feeling so utterly helpless, when he was supposed to be the one to help others, and he liked to feel like he was control in his own damn self, and wouldnt just start crying like this at a moment's notice.
In terms of crying, Wormwood had never been the type to never cry when he was under stress or when he was upset, but he preferred to think that he was usually pretty in control of his emotions. That had mostly come from when he had been a cub, and the constant mistreatment had eventually led to him feeling like he was finally just running out of tears to be shed. Since he had arrived to Tanglewood, he had tried his best to not be too terribly emotional. Or, at least, not too negatively emotional. He enjoyed showing his warm and familial emotions to others in the group, since he wanted them to feel like he could protect them, and that they could count on him. That was exactly why he didn't cry, or at least, tried not to. He had managed to be mostly successful in this quest since he had arrived, not even crying when he had first discovered that Poet had killed Judith and run off. He had almost cried when Arrow had died, but he had managed not to for the sake of all of his clanmates that were falling apart because of her passing away, such as Leroy. He had been stunned when he had seen Leroy crying, but he hadn't mentioned it since then, or even at the time, not wanting to embarrass Leroy or make him feel weak. He felt incredibly weak now, and felt a slight warm feeling of embarrassment flood through him when Leroy approached, but it faded a bit when he heard Leroy's gruff question.
Chuckling weakly, Wormwood sat back on his haunches and rumbled softly as he scrubbed at his eyes with a paw, shaking his head from side to side, [glow=#165042,1,400]"I... fuck, I think I just... I'm worried. I'm worried about Sam, and I'm worried about Beck, and I'm fucking pissed off because Poetking is gone, and I'm tired of everyone around here getting hurt, because I care about you all so much and fate keeps fucking us over!"[/glow] He vented, tears still stinging his eyes as a mixture of rage and sadness lumped together in his chest. He then realized what he was doing, and he looked at Leroy for a long moment before he laughed weakly, rumbling as he looked between Leroy and Ament, [glow=#165042,1,400]"Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be venting to you like this. You've got enough on your mind right now, I'm sure. And I don't like making you worry about my problems, and I especially don't like making Ament worry."[/glow] He gestured over at Ament with a worried little smile to try to show that he was okay, despite the drying tear tracks still going down his face and into his fur. He was used to being the one that others came to in order to vent, and he wasn't used to venting to others. After all, he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong enough that he never needed to vent to anybody else, and so that he could protect everybody else and make them feel better. In this state he was just a liability. He was useless, just as Judith had always said.
In terms of crying, Wormwood had never been the type to never cry when he was under stress or when he was upset, but he preferred to think that he was usually pretty in control of his emotions. That had mostly come from when he had been a cub, and the constant mistreatment had eventually led to him feeling like he was finally just running out of tears to be shed. Since he had arrived to Tanglewood, he had tried his best to not be too terribly emotional. Or, at least, not too negatively emotional. He enjoyed showing his warm and familial emotions to others in the group, since he wanted them to feel like he could protect them, and that they could count on him. That was exactly why he didn't cry, or at least, tried not to. He had managed to be mostly successful in this quest since he had arrived, not even crying when he had first discovered that Poet had killed Judith and run off. He had almost cried when Arrow had died, but he had managed not to for the sake of all of his clanmates that were falling apart because of her passing away, such as Leroy. He had been stunned when he had seen Leroy crying, but he hadn't mentioned it since then, or even at the time, not wanting to embarrass Leroy or make him feel weak. He felt incredibly weak now, and felt a slight warm feeling of embarrassment flood through him when Leroy approached, but it faded a bit when he heard Leroy's gruff question.
Chuckling weakly, Wormwood sat back on his haunches and rumbled softly as he scrubbed at his eyes with a paw, shaking his head from side to side, [glow=#165042,1,400]"I... fuck, I think I just... I'm worried. I'm worried about Sam, and I'm worried about Beck, and I'm fucking pissed off because Poetking is gone, and I'm tired of everyone around here getting hurt, because I care about you all so much and fate keeps fucking us over!"[/glow] He vented, tears still stinging his eyes as a mixture of rage and sadness lumped together in his chest. He then realized what he was doing, and he looked at Leroy for a long moment before he laughed weakly, rumbling as he looked between Leroy and Ament, [glow=#165042,1,400]"Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be venting to you like this. You've got enough on your mind right now, I'm sure. And I don't like making you worry about my problems, and I especially don't like making Ament worry."[/glow] He gestured over at Ament with a worried little smile to try to show that he was okay, despite the drying tear tracks still going down his face and into his fur. He was used to being the one that others came to in order to vent, and he wasn't used to venting to others. After all, he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong enough that he never needed to vent to anybody else, and so that he could protect everybody else and make them feel better. In this state he was just a liability. He was useless, just as Judith had always said.
— Reggan