07-18-2019, 11:03 PM
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[[ don't worry about it my dude c: also, hecc ye! i'm down if you are~ ]]
Zeb couldn't help that he was such an open book. Things like concealing emotions and hiding how he truly felt wasn't something he gave much thought to. Why should he ever hide the emotions that welled up so strongly within him? The expressive male thought it was odd to hold back something as fluid as emotions. They were going to come gushing out eventually and he'd much rather control it. Much like a tranquil stream, he'd gauge how much he'd allow to seep through and though he cannot control where it goes, he can control how much goes there. It sounded better than keeping everything bundled inside and being a walking time bomb. Zeb also had very little to hide about himself. Aside from his origins and his specific species, he would genuinely answer every question about him. He adored meaningful conversations as it allowed him to further understand those around him. It also prompted friendships and companionship, both of which are always welcomed and encourage. He also enjoyed casual conversations. Something neither party had to think to hard about and is merely sounds to fill the air as they bathed in each other's company. Fun and humourful conversations too! Though he loves conversing with others, this one is his favourite. It's lighthearted and nothing serious ever surfaces. A conversation filled with laughing fits and giggles as inside jokes are birthed and nurtured throughout the remainder of the companionship. Zeb, being the friendly and optimistic guy he is, just wasn't to talk to others.
The angel stayed silent as Malakai went on to explain his clan, his cranium tilted to the side in a curious manner. A sanctuary? It would be a lie if Zeb said he didn't like the way that sounds. The inner peace and warmth such a word brought was enough to reduce his goofy smile to that of something more calmer. The amount of pride that radiated from the larger feline's body only further piqued the angel's curiosity as he stared intently at him, soaking in every word. It did sound beautiful; a sea as vast as the sky that watches overhead. A school setting once ruled by humans now forgotten, but brought back to life by the very animals they hunt and keep as companions. A large courtyard, even larger grasslands and garden too, but all Zeb could think about was the large space he had to run rampant with the kids. All the nooks and crannies he could explore with them and play games to keep them entertained. Ah, but, that's if he decides to join them. It sounded nice, he could admit that much but lots of places sounded nice but would be bad to live in. Like a volcano, for example. A giant tube-like rock filled with liquid hot enough to melt some of the strongest materials in the world. Fun, but not exactly a place he'd recommend setting up camp.
As Malakai continued, Zeb felt something twist deep within him as he finished describing his home. Before saying anything, he decided to revise what he's learned so far about the feline that towered before him. He didn't get his name yet but he does know he's the proud leader of a group called the Greenside. On an unrelated note, he's just now realizing why they're called the Greenside... Open grassland... Yeah. Zeb's smart, he really is... It just takes the tom a few moments. Anyways, Malakai seems to fit the role of a leader very well as far as outward appearances go. When it comes to interacting on a more friendly and lighthearted side, he doesn't seem to have much experience - not a problem. Zeb has lots of experiences interacting with all sorts of personalities and though none are exactly the same, he knows how to navigate them in a way for them to get along at the very least. He saw himself getting along with the leader as he didn't seem like a bad person. Which brought him to the question that made his soul twist and turn. There was a small pause as if he was collecting his thoughts before he spoke. "What is your definition of "bad" and "good," Boss?" Came his calm inquiry, all humour seemed to evaporate from his body and tone as dark shades met with icy luminaries. Everyone had different opinions when it came to what was "good" and "bad" and he was curious about Malakai's stance. Of course, Zeb had his own values and morals he follows but he felt it would be difficult if his contridicted too much with others. If that were to be the case in a situation, he would politely excuse himself and never return- at least, the chances of him returning would be very low.
Though his moral compass seems to be aligned in a more open-minded and friendly way, he was far from a good person. In his vibrant eyes, he was as gross and disturbed as they come. Murders, deranged lunatics... He was no different from them. The only thing that separate him from them is he's never carried through with the acts that haunt his consciousness. Though his paws were never stained with the blood of another, the intent to do so was ever present in his muscles and bones. He could kill... He can harm... But he didn't. It's so much easier to give in to the chaos of conflict and fight the first person who stood against them. They caused them pain and humiliation, the anger and frustration that burned inside of them is used as fuel for every slash, bite and snarl. Words laced with poison would drool from their mouths as they traded threats and promises. To let their emotions take over and battle those who've wronged them. Or even take the hostile route for a situation to make it move along faster as to not waste their time. It's a constant battle to not give into the urge. Violence got the job done and Zeb hated how he'd contemplate using hostility to get what he wanted. It's a selfish and terrifying thought. Some may say it will be fine if he doesn't carry out these thoughts, but they don't understand. As an angel- no... As Zebulon, he isn't suppose to have this consuming his thoughts like a plague in the first place. He's preached and followed through with nothing but love coursing though his veins so intensely that even strangers are gazed at with nothing but warmth and adoration. He'd get excited over such small things because it would further allow him to explore and investigate the world so hold so dear. Why did he think of doing harm to an individual just because they were being annoying? Why would he leave a crying child whom was separated from their parents because "it's not my problem?" Many times he had to stop and hold back tears before running over to the individual who sought help or perhaps just needed talking to. More often than not, he was able to provide a solution and after saying farewell, he'd bit down hard on his lip to stop himself from crying. It hurts. He didn't think disappointing himself would cause so much pain.
All the angels he's met were kind, beautiful inside and out and sincere... Something Zeb strives to be. He wasn't sure if that was going to be possible.
He felt his mind begin to wander to all the instances where he thought about bringing harm to another or how easy it was to take another life. Swallowing hard, he pushed those thoughts out of his mind, knowing if he should dwell on them any longer he'd surely make himself cry. He was a failure of an angel and he knew it but he should at least keep it together in front of another individual. It would be bad if he showed how upset he was and Malakai asks what was wrong. What would he say? Pollen? He's wearing shades that make it virtually impossible for anything to get into his eyes. Hungry? No one gets that upset due to lack of food. Maybe a stomachache? Yeah, that sounds better. He was feeling rather sick but he brought that onto himself.
Remembering their conversation as Malakai continued, Zeb blinked his eyes a few times at the joke. Was that... Was he trying to be funny? Him? The apex predator? An awkward one at that? Zeb didn't have enough strength to hide the shocked expression that clouded his face as he watched him shift his attention to a small rock off to the side. It would be a lie if he said he was expecting that. So he could be hunourous too? Thoughts of him laughing and smiling bombarded his mind and left the angel feeling refreshed. Something about such a hardened individual being carefree, even for a few moments made Zeb happy. Biting down on his lip to try to hold back the grin that was currently fighting its way through, he spoke. "T-that... That w-was incredibly c-cheesy." He lifted a small paw to hide his mouth. He didn't want to laugh and embarrass him but holding back was proving to be more of a challenge. Lips trembling, he continued, "I-I applaud y-your attempt and-" a snort cut his sentence short. Lifting his other paw and placing it over his mouth, his own ears burned with embarrassment as he started to ramble between giggles. "S-sorry, I don't mean to laugh b-but it was really bad but f-funny and I'm really sorry I shouldn't be l-laughing but I loved it." It took him a couple more seconds to calm himself and a few more to catch his breath. It was nice to know the intimidating leader had such a wonderful sense of humour.
Clearing his throat, he couldn't help the playful and optimistic wag of his tail as he looked up at Malakai. "That doesn't sound bad at all," he agreed with a nod of his head. "But," a playful smirk parted his mouth as he continued, "I'm not the type to be won over so easily. You've got a little more persuading to do." He added. "So! I wanna hear more about your group! A few of the roles and ranks, your members, your plans for the future of your group, traditions and such! I love celebrations so don't leave those out too if you have any." Is he giving him an excuse to further talk about his clan? Yes, yes he is. Is he giving himself an excuse to keep talking to him because he misses the interaction? Yes, yes he is. The angel was already interested in the Greenside but he felt the responsible thing to do is collect more information before deciding on something as important as allegiances.
Zeb couldn't help that he was such an open book. Things like concealing emotions and hiding how he truly felt wasn't something he gave much thought to. Why should he ever hide the emotions that welled up so strongly within him? The expressive male thought it was odd to hold back something as fluid as emotions. They were going to come gushing out eventually and he'd much rather control it. Much like a tranquil stream, he'd gauge how much he'd allow to seep through and though he cannot control where it goes, he can control how much goes there. It sounded better than keeping everything bundled inside and being a walking time bomb. Zeb also had very little to hide about himself. Aside from his origins and his specific species, he would genuinely answer every question about him. He adored meaningful conversations as it allowed him to further understand those around him. It also prompted friendships and companionship, both of which are always welcomed and encourage. He also enjoyed casual conversations. Something neither party had to think to hard about and is merely sounds to fill the air as they bathed in each other's company. Fun and humourful conversations too! Though he loves conversing with others, this one is his favourite. It's lighthearted and nothing serious ever surfaces. A conversation filled with laughing fits and giggles as inside jokes are birthed and nurtured throughout the remainder of the companionship. Zeb, being the friendly and optimistic guy he is, just wasn't to talk to others.
The angel stayed silent as Malakai went on to explain his clan, his cranium tilted to the side in a curious manner. A sanctuary? It would be a lie if Zeb said he didn't like the way that sounds. The inner peace and warmth such a word brought was enough to reduce his goofy smile to that of something more calmer. The amount of pride that radiated from the larger feline's body only further piqued the angel's curiosity as he stared intently at him, soaking in every word. It did sound beautiful; a sea as vast as the sky that watches overhead. A school setting once ruled by humans now forgotten, but brought back to life by the very animals they hunt and keep as companions. A large courtyard, even larger grasslands and garden too, but all Zeb could think about was the large space he had to run rampant with the kids. All the nooks and crannies he could explore with them and play games to keep them entertained. Ah, but, that's if he decides to join them. It sounded nice, he could admit that much but lots of places sounded nice but would be bad to live in. Like a volcano, for example. A giant tube-like rock filled with liquid hot enough to melt some of the strongest materials in the world. Fun, but not exactly a place he'd recommend setting up camp.
As Malakai continued, Zeb felt something twist deep within him as he finished describing his home. Before saying anything, he decided to revise what he's learned so far about the feline that towered before him. He didn't get his name yet but he does know he's the proud leader of a group called the Greenside. On an unrelated note, he's just now realizing why they're called the Greenside... Open grassland... Yeah. Zeb's smart, he really is... It just takes the tom a few moments. Anyways, Malakai seems to fit the role of a leader very well as far as outward appearances go. When it comes to interacting on a more friendly and lighthearted side, he doesn't seem to have much experience - not a problem. Zeb has lots of experiences interacting with all sorts of personalities and though none are exactly the same, he knows how to navigate them in a way for them to get along at the very least. He saw himself getting along with the leader as he didn't seem like a bad person. Which brought him to the question that made his soul twist and turn. There was a small pause as if he was collecting his thoughts before he spoke. "What is your definition of "bad" and "good," Boss?" Came his calm inquiry, all humour seemed to evaporate from his body and tone as dark shades met with icy luminaries. Everyone had different opinions when it came to what was "good" and "bad" and he was curious about Malakai's stance. Of course, Zeb had his own values and morals he follows but he felt it would be difficult if his contridicted too much with others. If that were to be the case in a situation, he would politely excuse himself and never return- at least, the chances of him returning would be very low.
Though his moral compass seems to be aligned in a more open-minded and friendly way, he was far from a good person. In his vibrant eyes, he was as gross and disturbed as they come. Murders, deranged lunatics... He was no different from them. The only thing that separate him from them is he's never carried through with the acts that haunt his consciousness. Though his paws were never stained with the blood of another, the intent to do so was ever present in his muscles and bones. He could kill... He can harm... But he didn't. It's so much easier to give in to the chaos of conflict and fight the first person who stood against them. They caused them pain and humiliation, the anger and frustration that burned inside of them is used as fuel for every slash, bite and snarl. Words laced with poison would drool from their mouths as they traded threats and promises. To let their emotions take over and battle those who've wronged them. Or even take the hostile route for a situation to make it move along faster as to not waste their time. It's a constant battle to not give into the urge. Violence got the job done and Zeb hated how he'd contemplate using hostility to get what he wanted. It's a selfish and terrifying thought. Some may say it will be fine if he doesn't carry out these thoughts, but they don't understand. As an angel- no... As Zebulon, he isn't suppose to have this consuming his thoughts like a plague in the first place. He's preached and followed through with nothing but love coursing though his veins so intensely that even strangers are gazed at with nothing but warmth and adoration. He'd get excited over such small things because it would further allow him to explore and investigate the world so hold so dear. Why did he think of doing harm to an individual just because they were being annoying? Why would he leave a crying child whom was separated from their parents because "it's not my problem?" Many times he had to stop and hold back tears before running over to the individual who sought help or perhaps just needed talking to. More often than not, he was able to provide a solution and after saying farewell, he'd bit down hard on his lip to stop himself from crying. It hurts. He didn't think disappointing himself would cause so much pain.
All the angels he's met were kind, beautiful inside and out and sincere... Something Zeb strives to be. He wasn't sure if that was going to be possible.
He felt his mind begin to wander to all the instances where he thought about bringing harm to another or how easy it was to take another life. Swallowing hard, he pushed those thoughts out of his mind, knowing if he should dwell on them any longer he'd surely make himself cry. He was a failure of an angel and he knew it but he should at least keep it together in front of another individual. It would be bad if he showed how upset he was and Malakai asks what was wrong. What would he say? Pollen? He's wearing shades that make it virtually impossible for anything to get into his eyes. Hungry? No one gets that upset due to lack of food. Maybe a stomachache? Yeah, that sounds better. He was feeling rather sick but he brought that onto himself.
Remembering their conversation as Malakai continued, Zeb blinked his eyes a few times at the joke. Was that... Was he trying to be funny? Him? The apex predator? An awkward one at that? Zeb didn't have enough strength to hide the shocked expression that clouded his face as he watched him shift his attention to a small rock off to the side. It would be a lie if he said he was expecting that. So he could be hunourous too? Thoughts of him laughing and smiling bombarded his mind and left the angel feeling refreshed. Something about such a hardened individual being carefree, even for a few moments made Zeb happy. Biting down on his lip to try to hold back the grin that was currently fighting its way through, he spoke. "T-that... That w-was incredibly c-cheesy." He lifted a small paw to hide his mouth. He didn't want to laugh and embarrass him but holding back was proving to be more of a challenge. Lips trembling, he continued, "I-I applaud y-your attempt and-" a snort cut his sentence short. Lifting his other paw and placing it over his mouth, his own ears burned with embarrassment as he started to ramble between giggles. "S-sorry, I don't mean to laugh b-but it was really bad but f-funny and I'm really sorry I shouldn't be l-laughing but I loved it." It took him a couple more seconds to calm himself and a few more to catch his breath. It was nice to know the intimidating leader had such a wonderful sense of humour.
Clearing his throat, he couldn't help the playful and optimistic wag of his tail as he looked up at Malakai. "That doesn't sound bad at all," he agreed with a nod of his head. "But," a playful smirk parted his mouth as he continued, "I'm not the type to be won over so easily. You've got a little more persuading to do." He added. "So! I wanna hear more about your group! A few of the roles and ranks, your members, your plans for the future of your group, traditions and such! I love celebrations so don't leave those out too if you have any." Is he giving him an excuse to further talk about his clan? Yes, yes he is. Is he giving himself an excuse to keep talking to him because he misses the interaction? Yes, yes he is. The angel was already interested in the Greenside but he felt the responsible thing to do is collect more information before deciding on something as important as allegiances.