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it was never a lonely world ;; malakai - purgatory - 05-24-2019 [align=center] Zebulon is never lost.
Lost was too much of a strong word to depict the situation the young feline found himself in. Turned about, perhaps? Maybe unsure where to go next, but never lost. Every step his little obsidian paws took was filled with purpose and confidence. "This is where I should be going," he would think to himself as he traversed the land. From meadows with an ocean of colourful flowers and forests with creatures he's never seen to woods so dense some plants know not of the sun and deserts crawling with life for those patient enough to witness it. He took his time in observing the land he so dearly love; counting all the legs of his millipede friends, playfully returning the glare of his spider companions, swimming in the depths with his fish comrades and so many more. When they allowed him to get close, of course. He knew exploring every inch of the world was very unlikely, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to try. Exploring wasn't his main goal, but it was a wonderful way to pass the time as he searched. Yes, he was searching. He was looking for something he could only describe as a need. Somewhere, his assistance is needed be it telling someone how important they are or something as wild as ending a war. He wasn't sure what it could be, but he hardly cared. He was willing to do anything to help the mortals he holds so close to his heart. Zeb is never lost. Only searching. Only observing. Only waiting. It was a warm feeling within him telling him where to put his paws and which direction to take. It was a faint, hardly noticeable sensation that required all his attention. Speaking to someone, daydreaming, even being alone with his thoughts took away from feeling the gentle tug inside him. With that being said, it was clear the tom could ignore the feeling and carry on with his life. So why does he listen to it so intently? Like an obedient dog who wants to please its owner, he carries on down the path it has laid down for him. A third of the answer is because he wanted to- obviously. While Zeb is an outgoing, carefree, and friendly spirit, he's rather stubborn when it comes to things he doesn't want to do. Sure he could force himself to do it for the sake it needing to get done. However, if it's a frivolous matter or an action birthed from wrath and spite, he will not give it the light of day. The next third is because he couldn't help it. He could only imagine what it must feel like to be depended on, to be sought out for help. To be the very first individual on someone's list of people to go to when they're in trouble. To be relied on and be thought of in high enough regard to have his thoughts and advice respected and considered. For someone to turn to him and say, "Zeb, what are your thoughts?" To be that special individual - or one of them - would be... It would be a wonderful feeling he lacked the vocabulary to explain. It would surely be one of the highlights in his life and fulfill his purpose for existing. This takes us to the last reason: it's his job- his purpose. It was hard to see from the way Zeb carried himself, his personality, the way he spoke and his appearance, but there was no denying the faint angelic vibe he radiated. Indeed, his kind and caregiver-like personality often led others to compare him to angels which would cause the tom to smile at how true they'll never know their statements and compliments to be. The tri-coloured feline has never told anyone he is an angel whose only here because he begged to come down to earth. Instead when asked of his origins, he'd place a paw over his mouth and with a grin say "it's a secret!" It wasn't really a secret as he's known other angels to reveal their identities to their mortal companions. Though, just as they have their reasons to tell others of their history, Zeb has his. Taking care of others was in his job description, it was the whole reason for his creation. It was a compelling desire he couldn't ignore no matter how hard he tried. They didn't need to know he's an angel. They only need to know someone is looking out for them. Someone who will unselfishly devote their time and energy to making sure they are well. A guardian... Their guardian. The thought alone was enough to put a bounce in his step. To be someone’s guardian angel was something he only saw in daydreams when he allowed his mind to wander. To make it a reality, he’d surely cry tears of joy. But would he be able to live up to it? Would he do a good job? What kind of mortal would he watch over so diligently? Was all of this really okay? He felt like it was, the angel inside of him was telling him so. But the small voice of doubt screamed otherwise. No, he’s come too far and possibly has much longer to go. He cannot afford to get cold feet – paws? - now. The small angel pranced around a fallen tree as he continued down his invisible path, the lollipop in his mouth hanged loosely from his lips. The sun glared down from its highest point in the sky, though it hardly bothered him. Zeb, who’s eyes were protected with very dark sunglasses, felt as cool as ever. He had previously taken a quick dip in a pond a couple hours ago and is still feeling rather refreshed. His short fur also aided in quickly releasing heat and cooling him down. The weather hardly mattered though. Through rain, sleet, or shine, he will continue on his journey. Even if he gets turned about. Even if he’s unsure where to go next. Zebulon is never lost. [[ [member=5081]Crackers[/member] it's been a while so i'm a bit rusty oof i'll get my groove back at some point ]] Re: it was never a lonely world ;; malakai - Crackers - 06-02-2019 MALAKAI DIMERA SABERTOOTH X TIGER - MALE - 21 MONTHS - CONQUEST/GREENSIDE OOC- so sorry about the wait on this, we had an unexpected death in the family and I sort of dropped of the internet for a while. I'm back now though! 'Lost' may have been a fair word to describe Malakai at this point in his life, though granted it wasn't the word most people would use right off the bat. He had a confidence that seemed unshaken and certainty in all the moves he made in life, and most people who knew him would have described him with exactly those traits; confident, driven, certain, serious. And he was these things, the kind of person who didn't understand the meaning of the words laziness or injustice. He had a vision plain and clear in his head, a purpose he knew he had to achieve- by any means necessary. And in this sense he had a very clear idea of what his life should be and where he wanted to go, so it was easy to mistake him as an individual who knew exactly where he was in life, even if the truth was far from it. There was so much distance between him and his end goal that it was like the territory of Greenside itself, vast and endless, an entire world of space he had to journey across in order to get to where he needed to be. And while his end goals lay within that space waiting to be claimed so to did a long list of paths that would lead him away from it, paths that could discourage, corrupt, or entice him away from it. He knew all of this and more, and yet still he faced it down with his jaw set and his gaze unflinching, ready to take it on. And he did so, one day at a time, taking the steps he knew were necessary. First had come the claiming of Greenside. The sprawling green plains and gentle sloping hillsides left a clean siteline in all directions, an endless blue sea of sky above them to match the endless green sea of grassland below it. It was a lush place with abundant prey that came in the form of birds, rabbit, deer, groundhogs, and various other grazers like elk and buffalo. The streams that cut through it also yielded fresh fish and and water for the clan, who were known to reside in a massive private school with a bordering farm. It was a self sustainable place that grew it's own food and bred it's own livestock, and so while hunting was available to those who enjoyed it, food was rarely in short supply. the grounds of the school itself were well tended and spacious, with a large courtyard with various gardens surrounding the grounds, and a massive fountain at it's center. It was the bright and lively place, neat and presentable in it's looks with a welcoming vibe that spoke of a bustling and tight knit community. it was the sort of place that Malakai would defend with his life, and it was the current center of his world. This life he'd been reincarnated into was one driven with purpose, a desire to leave behind a meaningful mark, and Greenside/Conquest would be that mark. Today the young soldier had wandered far beyond his clans borders out into the neutral grounds that surrounded them. He had confined himself to the territory of his clan after intitially spreading the word about it, hoping that it would be enough to draw in the first wave of newcomers he would need to keep his group alive, but such was not the case. Outside of Hebi there'd been nobody, and the large feline had been forced into seeking out loners in the land beyond in hopes of recruiting some of them. It was hard for the sabertooth, if only because the world was so tainted. Most of the people he came across weren't the sort he'd openly invite to live within the walls of his home and most of these little outings ended in hostility or fights against those who crossed his path. As protective and polite as Malakai was to his own or others like them - peaceful individuals- he didn't have much patience for troublemakers. In fact, his tolerance for people who only wanted to do harm was almost nonexistence, and he had no qualms in acting as the judge and jury in those cases. So as you could imagine he didn't have much hope for finding anyone decent that day, though he continued on just the same. He knew there were some who purposefully steered clear of him when they saw him coming, but that was understandable and he wasn't offended by it. Large, well built, covered in scars, his body was covered in deep onyx/blue fur that was highlighted with silvery stripes and icey blue eyes. The stiff, formal body language that usually accompanied him often gave him the appearance of someone who could be quite dangerous, and so when others turned away from him he didn't take it personally even though these were likely the very individuals he was seeking out to populate his new home. It made things difficult, but he'd never been easily deterred. Which was why when he spotted the figure of another coming around a fallen log a short distance away, he approached them despite his lack of faith. At a glance the other didn't show any outward sign of being someone Malakai should steer clear of. He wore sunglasses and was sucking on a candy of some sort, the stick poking out between his lips as he made his way along with an air of casualness to him. Malakai tried to keep his own approach casual, but it was hard for him. He had become a controlled and disciplined individual over his multiple lives and capable soldier of war, and this was always visible in his movements. It made him come of as intimidating or unfriendly toward others, even when he wasn't trying to be. "Uh, hey." he called in greeting with his deeper, neutral tone as he came closer, offering a nod of greeting he was sure was too curt. Socializing like this had never been a strong point in Malakais career. He didn't know how to start casual conversations and he had a hard time participating in them even when they were initiated by someone else- though the latter undoubtedly made things easier for him. A willing participant was easier to be friendly with than someone who was suspicious of you from the start. And so now the question came- what now? What did you say or do after walking up to a total stranger in neutrals grounds and said 'hello'? It was an awkward position he'd put himself in, but one he knew was necessary. Changes were never made by standing still, and this was a move Malakai had to make. "Are you new around here? I haven't seen you in the area before.." he'd say, figuring that was fair, right? He wandered these parts enough to know the usual faces, so if he played it off like that was his reason for coming over it would make things a bit less random. "SPEECH Re: it was never a lonely world ;; malakai - purgatory - 06-03-2019 [align=center] [[ no no it's absolutely okay! please take all the time you need! ]]
Zeb can't seem to remember when he last spoke to another individual. A couple days ago? Weeks? Months? How many months had past? He couldn't remember anything that's happened and frustrated him beyond belief. As soon as they entered his mind, he found himself struggling to remember a couple days later. They were hazy, barely understandable memories that were mere inches from his face but no matter how far he reached out or leaned towards it, he was never able to touch it. Why? Why is he not allowed to recollect what was once his? He spent time and put in the effort in meeting new people, experiencing new things and burning them into his consciousness, only for them to evaporate before his eyes. Like watching a cloud be slowly torn apart as it traveled across the sky, his memories gradually began to fade once they reached a certain point. Zeb knew he was forgetting, but he didn't know what. Were they important pieces of information that, under no circumstance, he should ever forget? Or were they trivial matters like how many four leaf clovers he found in a field or how long he could hold a conversation with an owl before the owl realizes the colourful cat has no idea what he's saying? They were frivolous thoughts and actions but they were still important to him. All his memories are- even the painful ones. They were stories to look back on and learn and appreciate. Memories were also a source of comfort for those who are hurting. He couldn't look back at all he's accomplished nor finding strength and purpose in what he's done with memories that were unrecognizable. As much as he wanted to sit and mull things over, he knew that wouldn't help much. Maybe he wasn't suppose to remember the events leading up to now? Perhaps leading up to tomorrow or the day after that was also not on the syllabus. Thinking about it this way was comforting, but also vaguely concerning. He knew in his heart it wasn't something that will last forever, but it was still alarming to be forgetting things at such a rate. It couldn't be helped, he supposed. The only thing left to do is keep moving forward and hope something amazing happens to balance him out. It's been a good while since Zeb's spoke to anyone. Rather, it's been a long time since he's had a conversation with someone and they responded. The feline has spoke to everything from flowers, bugs, snails, birds, grains of sand and trees to clouds, the rain, thunder, the stars, the blazing sun and mellow moon. While speaking to them was nice, he could shake the twinge of loneliness that pulled at all of corners of his heart and soul. Zeb is an outgoing, extroverted, playfully optimistic young lad who thrives off of candy and socialization. The only difference between the two is if candy is removed from the equation, he doesn't turn into a zombie. He feeds off of the energy of others and he adores listening to others speak about their experiences. He's attentive and engaging, an active listener with boundless patience but will literally scream at anyone who think what they're saying is boring or "you're probably not interested in this... s-sorry." Nothing breaks his heart more than someone who thinks that they're saying or what they enjoy doesn't have enough value to be shared - if it's harmless. Zeb will be one of the first individuals in front of the crowd at the concert of a debuting band his friend is in and cheering the loudest of course. Or buying artwork from a new gallery showcasing an acquaintance's paintings and sculptures. From commissioning a knitted blanket or scarf to seashells in jars, he encourages other to pursue what they enjoy the most. Sometimes it was the little things that make everything worthwhile. Also, he was genuinely interested in learning about others. He may not understand why something brings them enjoyment, but he adores the thought of them enjoying the life they were given. The bounce in his step had not decreased since it had arrived. In fact, the only difference from then and now is he wore a bright grin on his face. He was happy. What's there to not be happy about? Yeah, a lot of things but he'd much rather focus on all the positives! He knew bad things were going on but if he only thought about that then his outlook on the world would also change. He'd stop seeing colours and noticing the way textures ruffled and swayed in the breeze. Instead he'd see eyes watching his every move and hear whispers to accompany those eerie stares. He's stop feeling the earth under his soft pads and in its place feel every crack and dent in a world that's slowly dying. He wasn't ignoring these less than sublime events. It was hard to ignore crying and dried pools of blood from battlefields he's unknowingly crossed. But focusing on them made him feel small, helpless and scared. He wanted to help everyone but he was just one angel. Not even a guardian angel. Just one, insignificant speck of dust floating around in an endless universe. Anyone would feel constantly dejected and paranoid with a mindset like that. He will admit, being positive and optimistic was a challenge at times, but someone had to keep others spirited and motivated. How Zeb felt didn't matter. He pushed his own thoughts and emotions to the back as he focused on those around him. It was painful sometimes but it was his job after all. If he must suffer a thousand lifetimes to protect the mortals of this world then he was prepared to take that risk. But luckily that has yet to happen so until then Zeb will remain his usual Zeb self; optimistically charismatic and all. Zeb himself is always expecting company - since he talks to everything - so when a stranger stopped him to say hello, the angel was friendly and welcoming as he usually is. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but for him to be caught off-guard twice in under five seconds? Amazing. He didn't detect any hostility in the other's deep tone but when his cranium turned to look at who greeted him, his heart leapt out of his chest. After a second of staring, a sense of guilt fell over him. He wasn't even that terrifying appearance wise. He appeared to be a regular tiger with some modifications. He suppose what frightened him was the body language. He was stiff and well built; the prime example of a killing machine. The perfect soldier. He appeared to know his way around the body, which areas to strike first and where to avoid, manipulating his opponents without them knowing. And even if they did, they'd be powerless to stop it. Zeb hated himself for being impressed and quickly buried that feeling deep inside him as he reminded himself over and over again that it was wrong. Appearance wise, he was the complete opposite of the angel who's ears where two separate bright colours. Even though his claws were long and sharp, they were each coloured differently and if his paws were placed in the right order, they were also rainbow patterned. Though the biggest difference between the two would be their eyes. Malakai's were an icy blue that could either make your blood run cold or be a refreshing glass of water on a hot summer day. Zeb's, on the other hand, were carefully concealed behind his dark sunglasses, unknown to the world. They weren't a secret or anything, but they are very sensitive to light. Even he's only seen his eyes a couple times and he wasn't surprised to say the least. His body was quite indecisive wasn't it? Instead of choosing a few colours as his colour scheme as most living things in the world does, his body went with "why not all of the colours?" If one is given the incredibly rare chance of seeing it, they'd notice how well the colours blended in with each other and the smooth transition of one to the next. It was like he captured one rainbow for each eye- rather, he was gifted two of them. In exchange for his ability to see without his sunglasses, he's able to view the world without bias and welcome anyone and everyone with open arms. Despite the turmoil that momentarily captured almost all of his thoughts, it failed to show on the outside. He held his tongue for a moment as he watched Malakai nod in his direction after his greet. "Hello~" They sang around the lollipop in their mouth, dipping their own head politely. At first, they weren't too sure of him but when he continued, all doubt and weariness dissipated into thin air leaving behind a friendly smile. As soon as the last word left his mouth and after staring at him as he did so, he could tell he wasn't the kind to speak much. An amusing thought. Someone so huge - at least, compared to the male - and intimidating though lacked social skills. That's something Zeb thinks he could help out with, being the outgoing ball of energy he is. His bobbed tail wagged behind him excitedly, happy to be talking to someone. "Oh! Yeah, I'm new! Just out for a stroll across the land, hoping to run into something interesting." He answered brightly before his ears flattened slightly in a playful manner, a just as playful smirk tugged at the corners of his lip. "Or someone." Malakai was quite interesting indeed, but no more interesting than another individual. They've just met after all and although Zeb loves him like any mortal, he doesn't know him. "And what about you, Big Bro? What are you-" he paused as a new thought entered his mind. Gasping, he took a few steps back. "I-I'm not trespassing on clan territory, am I?" The last thing he wanted to create was turmoil amongst others. He told himself he wasn't going to get wrapped up in their affairs but if he was the one to cause it, then he couldn't sit back and do nothing. Re: it was never a lonely world ;; malakai - Crackers - 06-03-2019 MALAKAI DIMERA SABERTOOTH X TIGER - MALE - 21 MONTHS - CONQUEST/GREENSIDE While it wasn't something he'd ever openly admit too, charisma was something he wished he wasn't so lacking in. There had been plenty of times in the young sabertooths life when he'd watched with envy as friendships were formed and acquaintances made so easily by others, and he knew that if he'd had even half of the natural charm he'd seen come to so many others that finding new members for his group wouldn't be anywhere near as challenging. But there was no changing who you were, not at the foundation at least. Even if he figured out the right words his delivery of them and body language would never quite sell it. That was okay with Mal, though. He didn't want to spend his life pretending to be someone he wasn't, and if that meant people had to spend a bit more time with him before they realized he was an okay guy then that was fine by him. His hopes had been dashed enough times that he wasn't hoping for much out of the smaller black cat with their brightly mismatched ears, but he was bullheaded enough to try regardless. And to his surprise the body language he'd been expecting wasn't there. There was no tensing in uncertainty, no nervous shuffle of their paws. In fact, the stare they gave him was almost reminiscent of wonder even though he couldn't see the eyes beneath the glasses, and Malakai found himself momentarily unnerved by the smaller felines gaze. Kai didn't see himself as anything special and surely the other didn't either, so why did he have to look at him like that? To his great relief- more than he'd like to admit- the other began to respond in a tone that could only be branded as friendly- talktative, even- their bobbed tail flailing behind them in an excited manner that was reminiscent of a puppy that had just been given a bone to chew. It was a promising response to say the least, by far the most promising he'd received since beginning these random expeditions out into the neutral grounds, and he prayed to whatever god that kept bringing him back that he wouldn't totally blow this with his aloof nature and boring responses. His rounded ears would prick forward in interest as the other reply with their energetic, "Oh! Yeah, I'm new! Just out for a stroll across the land, hoping to run into something interesting.. Or someone." Their playful smirk didn't go unnoticed, and had Malakai did his best to offer what he hoped was a friendly smile. He couldn't say he was interesting in any capacity, but maybe he could prove to be enough so to keep this colorful guys attention for longer than just a minute. And the conversation seemed to be going okay. The other was friendly and polite with an energetic edge to them that seemed more than happy to humor Malakais attempt at talking to them, and the blue and silver sabertooth had been on the verge of working up a response to their nearly formed question when a sudden look of horror left them backing away with their jaw gaping slightly. Malakais own smile would falter and he'd tense, wondering if he'd done something wrong only to have the thought cut off by the others next string of words."I-I'm not trespassing on clan territory, am I?" It wasn't exactly what Malakai had been expecting, but at least the minor freak out wasn't due to some he'd done and he was quick to give his large head a shake 'no', wondering if the others respect was only out of fear for what Malakai could do, or if they were truly that honest a person. "These are the neutral lands, so you should be safe to wander where you want." the soldier would say with a shrug, though 'safe' was only relevant to whoever the other happened across- the territory may lay unclaimed but that just meant that anyone and anything was allowed here. Still, he noted the chance to draw the others attention to his own group and he wasn't about to pass up that chance. "The only claimed territory around here is my own, and that's still a good walk to the east from here. You'd notice the scent markers long before you were deep enough to be considered trespassing in Greenside, though." he'd reply, assuring the other they had nothing to worry about on that front. "You don't seem to be carrying any clan scent on you- are you a loner, or something?" he'd ask, letting a brow quirk upward in minor curiosity even though it was the only thing he had an interest in. Did this guy already have a clan to call home? He hoped not. It was better to persuade people to come of their own free will rather than forcing them into it, but Malakai wasn't against the latter. The cold truth of it was that people didn't always know or care what was best for them, and sometimes it took a little force to make people understand. It was why his group was so controversial to begin with, as his people weren't above taking innocents into their ranks without the consent of the individual. It was the mission of all Greensiders to see the world come into a lasting era of peace, by destroying the wicked and making safe the innocent. "SPEECH Re: it was never a lonely world ;; malakai - purgatory - 06-10-2019 [align=center] [[ sorry for the wait! family stuff came up ;;;; ]]
If Zeb had the ability to peer into the sabertooth's thoughts, he would have gasped loudly and in a terribly over dramatic way. He wouldn't know where to begin or how to say it nicely so for the first couple seconds, it would be him opening and closing his mouth while vaguely gesturing about. Why didn't he think he was special? Everyone is special! Malakai excels marvelously in areas many others lack and no matter how hard they try, they could never make things look as effortless as he does. Zeb supposes there are areas where others excels in what Malakai lacks but that's not what he's yelling about right now. In the angel's eyes, everyone is special and their mere existence is enough to make him smile. He really cannot stress how wonderful and amazing another's existence is, their very being is priceless. The soul residing in their body and the fruitful personality carefully sculpted by both their surroundings and the DNA in every cell is proof of this. Every individual had their own quirks and charms, strengths and weaknesses that made them unique and one of a kind. He knew it sounded Cheesy and Unoriginal, but it was the truth. He knew this very well and every interaction he has only drives his point further home. He wasn't looking at Malakai in any special way. He was met with a mortal whom carries a strong soul and is going about life to the best of their ability. What more could Zeb ask for? He saw an individual living and roaming the earth whom decided Zeb was worth stopping to have a conversation with. He couldn't help the happiness that bubbled up inside of him. And you smile at things that make you happy. The other's smile - was that a smile? The angel decided to take it as a smile - seemed to amplify his own and before he knew it, he was grinning. He couldn't help himself. He was overflowing with warmth, adoration and affection and had no outlet. The best he could do right now was grin up at Malakai as his tail wagged excitedly behind him. His small frame was brimming with positive vibes, optimism and friendliness that he comes off as seemingly harmless. And he is, for the most part. There wasn't an ounce of bad intentions in his body and his tiny paws have yet to be soiled by the blood of another with hostile intent. He wasn't eager to change that if he was being honest. Why hate another when you could love them instead? Why harm when you could help? Why couldn't everyone live in peace and harmony together? The world had boundless resources and yet, too many die fighting for them. It seemed pointless to the celestial being but he made no move to stop them. All he could do is advise against it as it wasn't his place to butt in nor did he wish to mettle in mortal's affairs. If this is what they want then so be it. Despite the bloodshed and the turmoil, Zebulon still adores them. They're beautiful and although chaotic, they're not just that. Hardworking, innovative, intelligent... They're all of these things and more. Each set with their own complex life, way of thinking and emotions. He could rave all day about his love for them. Zeb could barely hear the world around them as his heart beat wildly in his chest, hoping the answer to his question was no. As the large feline shook his head, the heavy weight that hung around his shoulders lifted as a relieved exhale passed through his lips. "Oh?" He panted, emotionally, physical and mentally exhausted from the idea of causing conflict. "That's good to know... Cool... Fantastic." He heaved around the candy in his mouth, placing a paw over their chest as he tried to calm down. As he relaxed, he closed the gap he created between them when he backed away. Sitting down and momentarily taking out the lollipop from his jaws, he gave his chest a few quick licks to lay down the fur that rose, quietly thanking Malakai for continuing as Zeb was finding it hard to form any coherent sentences at the moment. When he finished speaking, the smaller creature was staring up at him curiously. His own clan? Greenside? Interesting. Zeb took every oppourtunity to better understand the world around him. There was no way he was going to pass this up. Tilting his head slightly to the side quizzically, he returned the candy to his mouth as he asked, "What's Greenside like? Oh! Is it fun~?" The latter question was mere decoration for the one prior. Even if it want fun, the tri-coloured tom was going to make it fun... If it's interesting enough for him to join. He'd probably offer up his services for a little before going on his way. After all, he's someone's Guardian Angel and they're out there waiting for him. "I hope it's fun," he continued blissfully. "life gets boring and dull without some fun." He finished to himself, feeling his mind begin to wander before lifting his paws and placing them on his cheeks to wake himself up. He shouldn't be zoning out in the middle of a conversation! Thinking about being with lots of people and having the time of his life, making others laugh and spreading joy... He could do that later! "A-ah, sorry! I went somewhere but I'm back now." He giggled, giving himself a shake. No need to get carried away with thoughts like that. He needed to focus. Ah, his least favourite topic: himself. When Malakai finished, Zeb nodded his head in response to his inquiry. "Yeah, though loner sounds rather depressing. I prefer wandering spirit." He said, lifting his paws and waving them around hoping to emphasis the mysterious connotation, though the goofy smile that made its way onto his face gave it the complete opposite effect. They were virtually the same thing anyways. One just sounds more poetic than the other. He could also go into how he's never alone in a world so full and vibrant but that would take up too much time. Re: it was never a lonely world ;; malakai - Crackers - 07-11-2019 MALAKAI DIMERA SABERTOOTH X TIGER - MALE - 21 MONTHS - CONQUEST/GREENSIDE OOC- so sorry about the wait, I didn't have my laptop for a while so posting was hard. I will be on more regularly now so I hope we can continue with our plot - It was strange to see such pure emotion on someone. It was like this person had no idea how to not let everything he felt pass through his expressions, and Malakai could easily see the other as they went from horrified anxiety to overwhelming relief to curiosity and then zoning out, and a part of him couldn't help but feel like he was being tricked. Nobody was this open or genuine, were they? It left the feline conflicted, but he refused to let his optimism be fully tarnished by it. "Yeah, it's a good place, a sanctuary." the sabertooth would reply with an edge of pride in his voice, as if he were speaking more about a friend then he was a place. "We live in a place where the open grasslands stretch out for miles in all directions, a sea o green underneath a blue sky. There's a school there that once belonged to the humans, with a massive courtyard and garden, and everyone there lives in peace taking care of each other. Our militia keeps them safe, allowing the good to live in peace while the bad is kept at bay." Though it was a well kept school with a neighboring farm that really made up the groups camp, Malakai saw the entire thing as more of a village. There were people and families of all kinds residing within the walls of greenside; bakers, artists, adventurers, farmers, teachers- all working together in harmony. They need never trouble themselves with the cruelties of the rest of the world. No, they could leave the military, Conquest, to deal with that. And eventually, through much work and sacrifice, there would come a time when the entire world could know peace and begin to heal... But he couldn't get into that. The things he'd seen and been told were only feelings at this point. He had no words for them, didn't even know if he'd beleive them if he actually said them out loud, but he knew that something big was coming, and that God was putting his pieces in place. The soldier would allow his lips to twitch upward as the other dismissed his terms of loner for something more suitable, and feeling brave, Malakai ventured a bit farther."Wandering spirits pretty good, but Greensider sounds better." It was a cheesy thing to say even though he meant it in the most innocent way possible. That's what happened though when the awkward warrior tried to be funny, and he had to fight to keep his ears from burning in embaressmment as his silery blue eyes dropped away from the smaller feline to casually stare at a rock somewhere to the left of him. "SPEECH Re: it was never a lonely world ;; malakai - purgatory - 07-18-2019 [align=center] [[ don't worry about it my dude c: also, hecc ye! i'm down if you are~ ]]
Zeb couldn't help that he was such an open book. Things like concealing emotions and hiding how he truly felt wasn't something he gave much thought to. Why should he ever hide the emotions that welled up so strongly within him? The expressive male thought it was odd to hold back something as fluid as emotions. They were going to come gushing out eventually and he'd much rather control it. Much like a tranquil stream, he'd gauge how much he'd allow to seep through and though he cannot control where it goes, he can control how much goes there. It sounded better than keeping everything bundled inside and being a walking time bomb. Zeb also had very little to hide about himself. Aside from his origins and his specific species, he would genuinely answer every question about him. He adored meaningful conversations as it allowed him to further understand those around him. It also prompted friendships and companionship, both of which are always welcomed and encourage. He also enjoyed casual conversations. Something neither party had to think to hard about and is merely sounds to fill the air as they bathed in each other's company. Fun and humourful conversations too! Though he loves conversing with others, this one is his favourite. It's lighthearted and nothing serious ever surfaces. A conversation filled with laughing fits and giggles as inside jokes are birthed and nurtured throughout the remainder of the companionship. Zeb, being the friendly and optimistic guy he is, just wasn't to talk to others. The angel stayed silent as Malakai went on to explain his clan, his cranium tilted to the side in a curious manner. A sanctuary? It would be a lie if Zeb said he didn't like the way that sounds. The inner peace and warmth such a word brought was enough to reduce his goofy smile to that of something more calmer. The amount of pride that radiated from the larger feline's body only further piqued the angel's curiosity as he stared intently at him, soaking in every word. It did sound beautiful; a sea as vast as the sky that watches overhead. A school setting once ruled by humans now forgotten, but brought back to life by the very animals they hunt and keep as companions. A large courtyard, even larger grasslands and garden too, but all Zeb could think about was the large space he had to run rampant with the kids. All the nooks and crannies he could explore with them and play games to keep them entertained. Ah, but, that's if he decides to join them. It sounded nice, he could admit that much but lots of places sounded nice but would be bad to live in. Like a volcano, for example. A giant tube-like rock filled with liquid hot enough to melt some of the strongest materials in the world. Fun, but not exactly a place he'd recommend setting up camp. As Malakai continued, Zeb felt something twist deep within him as he finished describing his home. Before saying anything, he decided to revise what he's learned so far about the feline that towered before him. He didn't get his name yet but he does know he's the proud leader of a group called the Greenside. On an unrelated note, he's just now realizing why they're called the Greenside... Open grassland... Yeah. Zeb's smart, he really is... It just takes the tom a few moments. Anyways, Malakai seems to fit the role of a leader very well as far as outward appearances go. When it comes to interacting on a more friendly and lighthearted side, he doesn't seem to have much experience - not a problem. Zeb has lots of experiences interacting with all sorts of personalities and though none are exactly the same, he knows how to navigate them in a way for them to get along at the very least. He saw himself getting along with the leader as he didn't seem like a bad person. Which brought him to the question that made his soul twist and turn. There was a small pause as if he was collecting his thoughts before he spoke. "What is your definition of "bad" and "good," Boss?" Came his calm inquiry, all humour seemed to evaporate from his body and tone as dark shades met with icy luminaries. Everyone had different opinions when it came to what was "good" and "bad" and he was curious about Malakai's stance. Of course, Zeb had his own values and morals he follows but he felt it would be difficult if his contridicted too much with others. If that were to be the case in a situation, he would politely excuse himself and never return- at least, the chances of him returning would be very low. Though his moral compass seems to be aligned in a more open-minded and friendly way, he was far from a good person. In his vibrant eyes, he was as gross and disturbed as they come. Murders, deranged lunatics... He was no different from them. The only thing that separate him from them is he's never carried through with the acts that haunt his consciousness. Though his paws were never stained with the blood of another, the intent to do so was ever present in his muscles and bones. He could kill... He can harm... But he didn't. It's so much easier to give in to the chaos of conflict and fight the first person who stood against them. They caused them pain and humiliation, the anger and frustration that burned inside of them is used as fuel for every slash, bite and snarl. Words laced with poison would drool from their mouths as they traded threats and promises. To let their emotions take over and battle those who've wronged them. Or even take the hostile route for a situation to make it move along faster as to not waste their time. It's a constant battle to not give into the urge. Violence got the job done and Zeb hated how he'd contemplate using hostility to get what he wanted. It's a selfish and terrifying thought. Some may say it will be fine if he doesn't carry out these thoughts, but they don't understand. As an angel- no... As Zebulon, he isn't suppose to have this consuming his thoughts like a plague in the first place. He's preached and followed through with nothing but love coursing though his veins so intensely that even strangers are gazed at with nothing but warmth and adoration. He'd get excited over such small things because it would further allow him to explore and investigate the world so hold so dear. Why did he think of doing harm to an individual just because they were being annoying? Why would he leave a crying child whom was separated from their parents because "it's not my problem?" Many times he had to stop and hold back tears before running over to the individual who sought help or perhaps just needed talking to. More often than not, he was able to provide a solution and after saying farewell, he'd bit down hard on his lip to stop himself from crying. It hurts. He didn't think disappointing himself would cause so much pain. All the angels he's met were kind, beautiful inside and out and sincere... Something Zeb strives to be. He wasn't sure if that was going to be possible. He felt his mind begin to wander to all the instances where he thought about bringing harm to another or how easy it was to take another life. Swallowing hard, he pushed those thoughts out of his mind, knowing if he should dwell on them any longer he'd surely make himself cry. He was a failure of an angel and he knew it but he should at least keep it together in front of another individual. It would be bad if he showed how upset he was and Malakai asks what was wrong. What would he say? Pollen? He's wearing shades that make it virtually impossible for anything to get into his eyes. Hungry? No one gets that upset due to lack of food. Maybe a stomachache? Yeah, that sounds better. He was feeling rather sick but he brought that onto himself. Remembering their conversation as Malakai continued, Zeb blinked his eyes a few times at the joke. Was that... Was he trying to be funny? Him? The apex predator? An awkward one at that? Zeb didn't have enough strength to hide the shocked expression that clouded his face as he watched him shift his attention to a small rock off to the side. It would be a lie if he said he was expecting that. So he could be hunourous too? Thoughts of him laughing and smiling bombarded his mind and left the angel feeling refreshed. Something about such a hardened individual being carefree, even for a few moments made Zeb happy. Biting down on his lip to try to hold back the grin that was currently fighting its way through, he spoke. "T-that... That w-was incredibly c-cheesy." He lifted a small paw to hide his mouth. He didn't want to laugh and embarrass him but holding back was proving to be more of a challenge. Lips trembling, he continued, "I-I applaud y-your attempt and-" a snort cut his sentence short. Lifting his other paw and placing it over his mouth, his own ears burned with embarrassment as he started to ramble between giggles. "S-sorry, I don't mean to laugh b-but it was really bad but f-funny and I'm really sorry I shouldn't be l-laughing but I loved it." It took him a couple more seconds to calm himself and a few more to catch his breath. It was nice to know the intimidating leader had such a wonderful sense of humour. Clearing his throat, he couldn't help the playful and optimistic wag of his tail as he looked up at Malakai. "That doesn't sound bad at all," he agreed with a nod of his head. "But," a playful smirk parted his mouth as he continued, "I'm not the type to be won over so easily. You've got a little more persuading to do." He added. "So! I wanna hear more about your group! A few of the roles and ranks, your members, your plans for the future of your group, traditions and such! I love celebrations so don't leave those out too if you have any." Is he giving him an excuse to further talk about his clan? Yes, yes he is. Is he giving himself an excuse to keep talking to him because he misses the interaction? Yes, yes he is. The angel was already interested in the Greenside but he felt the responsible thing to do is collect more information before deciding on something as important as allegiances. Re: it was never a lonely world ;; malakai - Crackers - 07-30-2019 MALAKAI DIMERA SABERTOOTH X TIGER - MALE - 21 MONTHS - CONQUEST/GREENSIDE This was always the hardest part when it came to his job. He wasn't like other clan leaders, and his clan wasn't like other clans. He had a goal this time around in life, a belief, if you will, and he'd made a promise to succeed no matter what. He wasn't sure if it had been God, or if he even believed in those sort of things, but he knew without doubt that he had a mission to accomplish this time around, a purpose. And people didn't always understand that purpose as easily as he did. And how could they? What he'd experienced was undescribable, unimaginable, and so nobody could ever understand it like he did. It was woven into him now, a part of him. Still though, he had to try, had to make the other understand how important it really was. "I'm sure you've seen the kind of bad I'm talking about." Malakai would reply, gaze level with their as his voice went serious. "It's everywhere nowadays, sick people who just want to hurt others. Others who are innocent in all of it. I protect those people, and I get rid of the ones who would take pleasure in harming them." It was hard to explain without sounding like a madman, and the words were difficult to choose. Still, he tried. "That's why Greenside is a Sanctuary. People who are tormented by the Warbound groups are safe within our boundaries. Our militia keeps the bad people out so that they can live their lives in peace." It was a story of sacrifice, of people choosing to damn their own souls in order to protect the people they loved by doing the dirty work, so the innocent could stay home in peace. The Militia, Conquest, was a force to be wreckoned with, and they both kept the peace within the walls and destroyed anything that threatened them. Peace was always prefered, but when that was not an option then someone had to slay the beast. Someone had to protect what little light was left in the worlfd, even if it condemned them to hellfire. When it came to Malakais little joke, he regretted it instantly. He was bad at any kind of socializing that wasn't entirely formal, and he'd gone and made himself look like and idiot. His ears burned despite his attempt to appear unphased, and he was grateful when the other wanted to move on, asking about ranks and such. Straightening up and clearing his throat, he tried to pretend that his confidence hadn't taken a blow, and went on to try and describe his group a little more. "Well, something that's kind of unique about us is that there are two ranking systems in my clan that hold equal power, since there are two main factions that are the core of the group. First is the Community of Greenside. These are the people that live at the school, usually families, socialists, and and those that are just trying to live out their lives in peace. While they aren't ranks, you'll find lots of people with titles such as Baker, Carpenter, Nanny, and so on. It's kind of like a really close knit village where everyone looks after each other and has their own little professions." Malakai would begin, hoping the other fdidn't mind long explenations because he honestly had a lot to say about the place. It was different to most groups and was goal oriented and so it worked in a different way, "While it is true that the group has a military aspect, those that do not wish to pursue the military route are still able to climb the ranks, holding equivalent powers to those in Conquest without having to join it. These ranking systems are known as the Military Ranks, and the Community Ranks." He would pause a moment to let these words sink in before continuing. " So for example, a Captain of the militia and a Keeper of the community would have equal authority in things like discussions or major decisions even though both specialize in a different part of the clan. This way nobody is excluded and there's a balance between us all." It was a good place, a place that had to exist in this kind of world. If one believed in forces of good than they had to believe in forces of evil as well, and there was a darkness in the world that was trying to turn out the lights. Someone had to fight that war, had to protect what was left, and so while it was important to let Zeb know about all the great things that happened in Greenside, it was also important to tell him about the bad. They were, at their very core, a clan with a mission, a clan that wasn't there to just exist in the world, but to change it at it's very foundation. "You should know, though..." he would say, pausing to nervously lick his lips. "Greenside isn't a clan thats here to just exist. We have a goal and we work toward it every day. For there to be change and peace in the world a path has to be cut through the evil that plagues it. To truly join Greenside, there has to be understanding for that in your heart. There has to be forgiveness for those of us in Conquest that go out there to do the dirty work so that others can have peace. We know our souls are damned, but we do it to protect the people who deserve a chance at a good life." In a way he felt like he was defending himself, because it was hard to make people understand. Nobody believed in good or evil anymore, in darkness and light. Even he wasn't totally sure. But what he did know was that the world had fallen into chaos, and it would never end. There would always be the bloodsports of the anticlans, the senseless tormenting and slaughter of the proclans and loners. Someone had to make them see, had to grab the reins and make a difference, and he would be that person even if he had to cut down every last killer and tormentor himself. Even if it damned him to hell. "Sorry, I guess I ranted for a bit there."[/[b] he'd mumble, unsure of what their reaction would be from here. "[b]SPEECH Re: it was never a lonely world ;; malakai - purgatory - 07-31-2019 [align=center] A purpose, huh? Zeb couldn't say he knew what his was but for the time being, he decided it was to help others where ever, whenever possible. With a kind smile and friendly tone, gaining allies was a talent the social butterfly was naturally gifted with. Of course not everyone he came across liked him but their distaste for the dark feline never bothered him. In fact, he respected their choice of wanting nothing to do with him and made sure to not get in their way. Did Zeb think any way of them for doing this? Absolutely not. Was he hurt? Slightly, yes, but it wasn't anything the angel took to heart. Perhaps they needed a little more time to understand his cheery personality. Or maybe they weren't compatible. Whatever the case may be, he makes sure not to force himself onto anyone and quickly apologizes should he overstep his boundaries. If he couldn't get along with those he meets then he wouldn't be fulfilling his purpose, now would he?
There was a wide range of personalities Zeb had encountered and got along with- good and bad. It would be a lie if he said he hadn't come across anyone who weren't exactly the best kind of individuals. He has seen the kind of people Malakai was talking about and it was scary how they didn't look as monstrous as they acted. Some were brightly coloured like him and had the sweetest smiles. Some were ridden with scars but the last thing he would describe them as was 'intimidating.' It wasn't until they spoke did his fur stand on end and his blood run cold. Purging the world of one thing, whatever it may be is a crazy idea no matter if you were Good or Bad. To get rid of one entire thing? What makes one person, one mortal, think he had any say over how the world should function? But if he were to get rid of those who purposefully do harm, would there be any consequence? Should Zeb, an individual who loves all mortals, consider those who do bad a plague that needs to be exterminated? Could he handle watching individuals who do harm themselves, be harmed by those who say they are doing the world a favour? The only backlash the angel could think of is him not being able to stomach the mass war that may erupt. The land would stain crimson and the piles of bodies will rise every time the sun would fall. No... Should Malakai really be allowed to do this? The border between Hero and Villain is a faint and fluid one- especially with the goal he has. To rid the world of those who sought chaos and bloodshed... He was going to need someone to make sure he doesn't stray from this path. Zeb hoped he had someone like this in his clan. When he finished, the angel was quiet for a moment before a smile laced his features. In it's core, without thinking about the details and the flaws of his goal, it's a noble idea. One he's positive many individuals have wished and hoped for but due to their doubt never tried to attain it themselves. The leader before him however realized this and took action to strive for a better future. A future Zeb hopes he'll be able to see with his own eyes. "I see," he hummed, dropping his gaze to look at the ground as he thought for a moment. His smile faltered for a moment before he returned his gaze back to the larger creature. "I admire your goal. As ambitious as it sounds, I can tell it's coming from a good place. But," there was a pause as he pressed his lips together, trying to think about how to word the emotions he felt inside. "But are you prepared for any and all consequences you may encounter? You started this, you must see it though... Even if you must give up halfway." The smaller feline knew he was probably being harsh, possibly rude as well to indirectly say his goal may not come true or that he will be faced with extreme decisions that may result in just as extreme consequences, but he had to know. And if already did, perhaps he needed to hear it from someone else for it to really sink in. Malakai was setting in motion something greater than himself, than Zeb, and the angel wanted to make sure the leader knew he couldn't run away. The angel refused to let him start something of such magnitude and not come fully prepared to handle any and every situation. There were too many lives on the line- Malakai's included. Zeb wished the other had followed up with another bad joke or at least outwardly tried to play it off so the small feline could pat his arm - even standing on his hind legs that's as far as he could reach - and tell him not to worry about it. All that mattered was he has a sense of humour and if the angel played his cards right, he could get the predator before him to at least chuckle. He'd even take an amused exhale through his nose. Although he was the one to move the conversation along, the male couldn't help the childish pout that lingered on his face when Malakai went on to explain the intricacies of his clan. He wanted to stay on the lighthearted topic of jokes and what would make them laugh but he figured that could be saved for next time... Next time? Yeah, next time. When he finished, Zeb was staring up at him, mouth slightly parted and though it was impossible to be seen, the twinkle in his eyes could be felt. The awe that presented itself quite evidently on his face ceased to fade as he exclaimed. "Oh! Dude! That's so cool! N-no wait... That's really interesting- I've never heard of that before." He mused, wondering to himself if he's ever come across any groups of similar caliber. "From what I noticed, it's just traditions, ideals and ranks that separate groups but you've taken it to a whole 'nother level." He didn't bother hide how impressed his was - again, being an open book and all. It was a lot to understand and get the hang of and Zeb had already forgotten about half the ranks told to him but he made sure to at least remember the basic gist of everything. It was well thought out; nothing and no one was excluded. As he continued, Zeb felt his awe-inspired expression shift to that of a curious one. Head tilted to the side, he listened intently as Malakai continued, the conversation once again taking a grim and dark route. Despite that, the angel couldn't help but feel a bit hopeful when he finished. He knew of the risks and he knew of the strife that came with such a goal. He was more than prepared to face them head-on. The doubts Zeb had voiced prior all had been addressed and before he knew it, his large grin had returned. "Hey, hey, hey! Don't you dare apologize for ranting about something you're passionate about." His tone was warm and playful, though a slight edge could be heard. He wasn't going to let anyone within earshot apologize for something they're interested in or put effort into. "It just means you're proud of your clan and the effort that's been put into it. Plus, I won't let you." He added, nodding to himself as if confirming his own words. After a moment, the angel hummed and placing the lollipop he was holding between his toes back into his mouth, he grinned at Malakai. "Alright then, it's decided! I'll join the Greenside and help you on your journey! Your goal... I won't rest until you've at least made a dent in the world. With that being said, you're going to need as much hands on board as possible." He added around the candy. There was another pause before he gasped and spoke once more. "Oh! To think we held an entire conversation and still not know each other's names." He giggled. Reaching out a small paw for Malakai to shake, Zeb introduced himself. "I'm Zebulon! But you can call me Zeb or anything really. I look forward to workin' wit'cha, Boss. If you'll have me, of course." He purred. |