LET'S MAKE THIS MOMENT LAST FOREVER // rb capture + torture

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[color=#7E354D]BAI SHI
" my own illusion come to be "

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they let out an agonized breath, "he is doing well, better than before. better than I have ever seen him. there are only two ways to cure a man with his madness: you can kill him, or you can take his hand and pull him out." they responded, teeth bared against the ripping pain as the blade bit deep into their shoulder, the scales being ripped apart by the intense heat.

groaning they struggled against the bonds once more, pale blue eyes sliding closed than reopening, mutated pupil fixed on ninazu, breathing out fiercely, "if that is the price i must pay for being an alteration in his life, than so be it. i grew up with far worse under my father's gaze in our house. beaten for the smallest thing i did wrong, gods above, i would be thankful if he even paid attention enough to injure me."

coughing slightly, they laughed, a horrid, wretched noise, "in love with my idealized version of him?" they snorted, amused by the very idea, "if that were the case, i would still defend him. he was there when i lost my brother, sephiroth nurtured my heart where it broke and provided me the stability i needed to heal. and so, i swore myself to the service of protecting him. it may get me killed, but i would gladly die in that service." they growled at her, a fire in their eyes as their memories threatened to overwhelm them at that mention of the recent past.

the memories starred days and nights spent with their 'brother', more an adopted stranger that they had come to love irrationally as they grew up together. they remembered the days of racing through golden corn fields, protecting the younger being from the bullies that prowled after him like wolves to sheep. they remembered the day they first killed, and the horrified look on their brother's face. they remembered the distrust on his face as they were named the heir to the family throne and crown, their body soaked head to toe in the visceral fluids of enemies that sought the throne. they remembered the shock on his face the day that they had ascended the dias and throne, the distrust and despair on his muzzle as he eyed the crown resting on their brow. slowly, these memories bled into the aftermath of finding a letter written by their brother, expressing that he would be leaving them and the rosebloods, spurred on by his small size in comparison to them, how easily he could be hurt and more.

these memories became painfully treasured, mixed with the memories of visiting tanglewood and getting into a fight with an ex leftenant of their father's army, of sephiroth leaping before them to take a hit that could have seriously injured him if he hadn't taken it across the ribs and flank. they remembered the panic and rage that had consumed them in a fever at the sight of their pharoah being hurt instead of them, his body guard. the memories thereafter, of being curled around the silver-coated lion and cleansing the wound. the memories of sleepless nights coming to find him and quietly curling around him once more. finally, the memory of being promoted to the nomarch of warfare and the warmth in their chest at being gifted a wreath of sunflowers to speak of their new rank.

the fading language of flowers came to mind as they remembered that sunlight tinged memory, the look of the lion as he gave them the wreath, the sunlight reflecting off his fur and the hidden pride that they thought they had seen in his strange eyes. loyalty and adoration they would recall, a flip of their heart counteracting the pain coursing through their body. at this point, it could be assumed that they were in deep emotional pain, their heart squeezing in their chest as ice flooded through their veins at the world-stopping realization that they came to, thanks to ninazu's words, i love him. I love sephiroth, not as a friend, not as my pharoah, not as my confidant. i love sephiroth as more than just a flawed person. i love him for everything he is.

nothing could be more painful than recognizing the affections for one you knew would never think to return them, nor tha pain of realizing that your recognition would destroy and be destructive to the current bond between you and the object of your affections. now, tears could be glimpsed in their eyes as they denied as loudly and harshly as they could, "I do not love him! i just follow him as i prefer to."