Maybe there's a reason // open+return // to believe you'll be okay

[melantha]

[div style="max-width: 600px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 9pt;"]trauma. everyone has some in varying forms. some people, like jacob, are permanently scarred--mentally and physically--from theirs. other people barely even recognize their own. melantha is one of those people. the girl refuses to admit to herself that her fear of the water is born from the terror of being ripping away from all that she holds dear and spirited away to a harsh life in solitude. she thinks that because she survived this long relatively unscathed, that she does not deserve to feel upset by her present situation. mel is only lost. no one died. no limbs have been lost thus far. she can find her way back, eventually. compared to what has happened to other people, better people like jacob who do not deserve to suffer, melantha does not possess the right to be afraid of something or to wake up with tears in her eyes because the homesickness is almost unbearable. mel is not a good person. she has killed and stolen and lied and cheated to survive this long on her own. she will do it again if she has to, and she hates it. mel wants to be a good person. a good, loving person. but making it home is all that matters now. she will deny her pain to herself every single day because maker-forbid that she displays an ounce of weakness. because if she acknowledges it...she isn't sure she will be able to keep it together. melantha tells herself that she is not worthy--that she has yet to earn the right to feel traumatized by the events in her life. it's worked thus far. but for how long?

the creature is drawn closer towards camp at the sound of soft music being played. most nights, the young mountain lioness roams the snowy plains and dark forests to escape all the things inside her head which she adamentaly ignores. melantha is chagrin to relinquish control, so it is understandable that she is bothered by the fact that she struggles to control her emotions. wandering helps. as does working. the less time her mind has to be idle, the less time she has to think about the more unpleasant aspects of her existence. a love for the arts is one of the girl's best kept secrets. very few know this about her, save for her stella and her father. melantha cannot resist the urge to investigate--her paws move of their own accord. is that jacob? singing? melantha is intrigued, both by the singing and the healer's presence. she could have sworn that he went missing. when did he get back? due to her solitary nature, mel is behind on who got captured by who, but she is not so oblivious as to completely miss the boy's absence. she will never admit it, but she is glad to see him returned. "you have a pretty voice," deadpans melantha once jacob finishes. her expression does not convey it, but it is meant to be a compliment. she settled down a respectful distance away to listen earlier, and now regards him with her piercing green gaze. "did you write it? the song, i mean." where she comes from, everything is passed down orally; the songs are as old as the bloodline. but there are also those capable of creating their own. it's always intrigued her; hence, her curiosity.