i’ve learned to lose you can’t afford to / joining

[coriander.]

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It wasn’t sarcasm but a simple fact — or rather a distorted truth. To Coriander, his mother’s name was nothing besides for what she had told him and it wasn’t much to begin with. His developing mind couldn’t comprehend another identity. Soft, but heavy pawsteps caught his attention, ears twitching and swiveling centimeters to the left. Who was that? Did he just imagine it? As soon as he focused on the sound, it stopped, so after seconds of waiting he pressed himself closer to the ground. More tears flowed down his cheeks, that unfamiliar, unsettling feeling only swelled in his chest. Oh, oh. That was a very big cat. Was it even a cat? He had dark splotches and piercing eyes that were so scary. However, his low voice asked him a simple question, appearing to not be of much harm but he couldn’t be too sure. His mama always told him not to speak to strangers but… What if he couldn’t find her and strangers were all he could speak to? ”M-my name, um, is Cor-Coriander and yes I am, mister…” he murmured, his words followed by a low growl emitting from his stomach. He sniffled, the sound a disgusting slurp as he turned to rub his runny nose on his own tail.

While Agathe lacked warmth and sympathy, he was her exact opposite. He expressed warmth to any living creature he’d come across. Whether it be an insect or a mouse, he thought about its precious life and wanted to treasure it. Maybe he was a bit too empathetic, but he was a child. Would you expect any less from someone as young as him? Mind filled with unwavering optimism and eyes overflowing with wonder. As another large cat — that didn’t look anything like a cat, save for whiskers and a tail — approached, Coriander appeared to relax his tense muscles just a tad, thinking that maybe if the first splotched creature was nice, the next would be. ”Can you take care of it?” A voice, cold and equipped with barbs stabbed his ears, folding them back to press against his head. Did she not like him? Did he do something wrong? Mommy, mommy. I want mommy. The intimidating huntress introduced herself, putting a name to a stoic face.  ”He-hello, miss Agathe. I’m Coriander,” Well, he couldn’t be rude, now could he?

The first odd-looking feline offered to care for him in place of his lost mother. His eyes blinked slowly, watching the female closely with his eyes widening and eyebrows lifting. ”Really?” Slowly, he rose from his lowered position, ears erecting. The Ass-endints? That’s a weird word… Was it even a word? His face scrunched up a little, realizing the first syllable was a swear word and those were bad. Very, very bad. ”That’s a bad word,” He mused aloud, whiskers twitching, ”It’s nice to meet you, miss Attabash.” he whispered, unknowingly butchering her name. It was catchier, anyway. A wave of serenity passed over him that wasn’t his own, banishing the weighted sensation in his chest and finally allowing him to relax. It seemed to appear around the same time a massive… Creature arrived. What was he? He wasn’t as big as the other cats, but… This was definitely not a cat. Surprisingly, his presence didn’t bring up that horrid emotion again, in fact he felt safer around him. The not-cat even smiled at him, so he grinned right back at him, taking an unsteady step toward him to extend his neck out and give his paws a sniff before attempting to brush the top of his head against his arm. The arrival of another member didn’t phase him, in fact he turned a little and lifted a paw to wave at Billie since she didn’t speak.