04-13-2018, 05:48 AM
YOU'LL KNOW I WASN'T JOKING WHEN YOU SEE THEM TOO
Argus has always lived on the edge of the world. The balancing point in the worlds alignment, between chaos and civilization. She was not an influencer of it as much as she was simply a watcher. Wide blue eyes once watcher it with rapt attention, now dulled coloration of freshly spilled blood. She watched mortals dance with monsters and as each one snapped under the pressure of its own social construct of rules, turning into tragedies. Watched as they became monsters, and monsters becoming mortals. Until the dance started again, and again and again.
She has always had this ability to see so startlingly clear. She taught herself to be paranoid, taught herself this trick to see and observe in a means of prediction. To predict when someone would leave her, when they would return and when the process would repeat again. She selected her friends sparingly if any at all, and loneliness curled with her in her dens because of it. It hushed into her ear when she cried out and screamed higher than her own voice could carry the word "help"
But Argus was not Whisper, she was not the broken kit that cried pathetically in the drought desert. She was older, she was still cynical but more inclined to doubt, quicker to cut them down and far more intense in her observations. But in the end, they still felt the same, Argus still felt the same loneliness as she first did. Even as her home pressed to her sides and she laughed and joked. In the crowd, it was so painstakingly lonely because no one would know her as extensively as her others, as her ghosts and those that haunted her.
In the end, she was always alone. She was born with the instinct of needing a home full of others who could understand her. To know her as better than she knew herself and to be trusted by her, and maybe there is a way for that place to be the typhoon. Maybe one day she could trust the clan full of crooks and be trusted by them as fully, but that would take time and time was something Argus did not have time to humor.
Because of the memory of her other's pressing into her. All their failures pressing into her skin and chocking her down. When they screamed the one question argus never wanted to answer, she gave them an answer that she wasn't ready to handle. She wasn't ready to realize how desperate that she was to find that place. Find a home she could trust and rid of the loneliness that dragged at her soul since she was just a child.
Argus should feel amused by the young warrior's reaction. Amused at how simple it was to dig under the deputies skin. It was not an amusement that she felt now, it was not an amusement that set her teeth in a grimace at the edge of his tone. It was not an amusement that held her tongue further and she hated it. Hated this hesitance as much as she hated the parents that cursed her with the inability to trust and to open up even just a glimmer.
Because it was interest that brought her here at first. It was interest that got her looking but it was interest that kept her going- it was not interest that made her join her clan at the border and it was not interest that made her pull the small apprentice aside. She saw the look on his expression, a difficult night and blood on his paws, in his scent no matter how hard he tried to hide it, it was still a part of his look.
It was concern. It was the same look she saw in reflections before she broke and no one knew her well enough to pull her together. She was not the person to be doing this, not the right person to pull this deputy away from himself- away from whatever influence the other had on him and try to fix the fractures before they split him into an unrecognizable mess.
"I never told you my name because the person i used to be - the person you knew before carried a different name." Argus felt herself shudder in the cold, Wings pressing harder to her sides, paw pushing against the bundle of fur she was smart enough to bring with her. "I am not proud of who i used to be, but i know the effects of someone controlling someone because i have done it."
She left out a hollow bitter laugh at that, no matter the expression that twisted across the other's features. "I have done it to others so many a times i fear to have lost count of them all. I remember what it was like to control a child and tell them to destroy their clan, i remember breaking their mind enough times until they became puppets who followed only my command." There was a broken, desperate edge to her voice and she did not try to hide the fear that lingered there. Sharing this kind of information- the sins that she carried were vast and deep and this was just a portion. How much would she give, just for a chance of being happy, of home? Anything, everything.
Argus felt her own laughter fade from her throat, red eyes glimmering with some unseeable desperate edge. "I have no idea who it is that whispers into your mind killua. But I offer my own paw in helping you be rid of them."
She has always had this ability to see so startlingly clear. She taught herself to be paranoid, taught herself this trick to see and observe in a means of prediction. To predict when someone would leave her, when they would return and when the process would repeat again. She selected her friends sparingly if any at all, and loneliness curled with her in her dens because of it. It hushed into her ear when she cried out and screamed higher than her own voice could carry the word "help"
But Argus was not Whisper, she was not the broken kit that cried pathetically in the drought desert. She was older, she was still cynical but more inclined to doubt, quicker to cut them down and far more intense in her observations. But in the end, they still felt the same, Argus still felt the same loneliness as she first did. Even as her home pressed to her sides and she laughed and joked. In the crowd, it was so painstakingly lonely because no one would know her as extensively as her others, as her ghosts and those that haunted her.
In the end, she was always alone. She was born with the instinct of needing a home full of others who could understand her. To know her as better than she knew herself and to be trusted by her, and maybe there is a way for that place to be the typhoon. Maybe one day she could trust the clan full of crooks and be trusted by them as fully, but that would take time and time was something Argus did not have time to humor.
Because of the memory of her other's pressing into her. All their failures pressing into her skin and chocking her down. When they screamed the one question argus never wanted to answer, she gave them an answer that she wasn't ready to handle. She wasn't ready to realize how desperate that she was to find that place. Find a home she could trust and rid of the loneliness that dragged at her soul since she was just a child.
Argus should feel amused by the young warrior's reaction. Amused at how simple it was to dig under the deputies skin. It was not an amusement that she felt now, it was not an amusement that set her teeth in a grimace at the edge of his tone. It was not an amusement that held her tongue further and she hated it. Hated this hesitance as much as she hated the parents that cursed her with the inability to trust and to open up even just a glimmer.
Because it was interest that brought her here at first. It was interest that got her looking but it was interest that kept her going- it was not interest that made her join her clan at the border and it was not interest that made her pull the small apprentice aside. She saw the look on his expression, a difficult night and blood on his paws, in his scent no matter how hard he tried to hide it, it was still a part of his look.
It was concern. It was the same look she saw in reflections before she broke and no one knew her well enough to pull her together. She was not the person to be doing this, not the right person to pull this deputy away from himself- away from whatever influence the other had on him and try to fix the fractures before they split him into an unrecognizable mess.
"I never told you my name because the person i used to be - the person you knew before carried a different name." Argus felt herself shudder in the cold, Wings pressing harder to her sides, paw pushing against the bundle of fur she was smart enough to bring with her. "I am not proud of who i used to be, but i know the effects of someone controlling someone because i have done it."
She left out a hollow bitter laugh at that, no matter the expression that twisted across the other's features. "I have done it to others so many a times i fear to have lost count of them all. I remember what it was like to control a child and tell them to destroy their clan, i remember breaking their mind enough times until they became puppets who followed only my command." There was a broken, desperate edge to her voice and she did not try to hide the fear that lingered there. Sharing this kind of information- the sins that she carried were vast and deep and this was just a portion. How much would she give, just for a chance of being happy, of home? Anything, everything.
Argus felt her own laughter fade from her throat, red eyes glimmering with some unseeable desperate edge. "I have no idea who it is that whispers into your mind killua. But I offer my own paw in helping you be rid of them."