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NOWHERE TO HIDE FROM ALL OF THIS MADNESS | {P, ARGUS} - Printable Version

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NOWHERE TO HIDE FROM ALL OF THIS MADNESS | {P, ARGUS} - | KILLUA ZOLDYCK | - 04-11-2018

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[shadow=darkblue,right]KILLUA[/shadow]
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Killua doubted he was recovering as well as he thought he was after what had happened yesterday. The events that happened felt as if they had happened such a long time ago. Barely able to remember what had really happened until he sat himself down to actually think about what had happened to him and those that he brutally murdered. Killua had come to realize a couple of things since that had happened however. The young assassin finally realized how alone he actually was compared to the other animals that lived in a place like this. Everyone practically knew everyone, and some ven had their families here like Kayn did. Killua had nothing though. Amorette was still around, but it was almost impossible for him to talk to her consideration that she was a robot and everything. Killua had no one to turn to, because he had gone through the same action of not trusting anyone that he came across. The instincts he had while around others was to make sure that everyone had their space and try not to get too close to him. The only friend that he had really had, he ended up having to murder. What if his family found out that he had made another friend in the groups of Snowbound? Killua had already figured that Illumi was able to tell exactly what he was feeling, for some reason. So shouldn't they be able to pick up that he had made a friend? Or did they automatically assume that it would never happen and that there wouldn't be any reason to try and mess with him while he was in the clans for the time being. There was obviously something going on within the Zoldyck family because his brother had taken some of his control of him away yesterday. He knew because the feeling was familiar to what happened a while ago, practically the same instance to what had happened. That thought simply pissed him off, because it meant that they already expected to have him return back to that damned mountain that they lived on. How many risk was he willing to make though? What risk is he willing to take with his own life to make sure that his family never managed to catch him again and to keep as far away from him? Part of him felt like that he was willing to risk everything, but with his fear of dying and just becoming an emotionless husk to the Zoldyck family, he would rather die not as a Zoldyck, but rather as a clanner all things considered. There was no hiding from the past things that he had done. He knew this now. But instead of accepting what he was like his brother and the rest of his family wanted him to, he was going to live his life as if he wasn't a monster like one could consider him to be. He needed to train more, in order to get stronger so that he could protect himself, and maybe a clanner here and there if they got into a big thing of trouble. He was far from a saint though, and the rest of the group that he was with constantly gave him high regards for the way that he acted within the clan. Even if they got a completely wrong idea from what his motives actually were and what they could potentially mean to him. There were a couple of animals that had joined the group since he was promoted, and since he had killed them. But he hadn't really bothered to be around the border to approach them. The only one that interested him right now might be Gon or Kayn. He already liked London a little bit, but her kindness probably wouldn't last long in the groups of the clan where there was murderers around ever corner. However, Killua realized that he had a dislike for a certain someone. Guru. He didn't know her name of course, but he was able to see who she was. She was the only caracal that he had met after he had gone to visit the clans here and there. When he first met her, the female had attacked London, nearly killing the clouded leopard in the process. She had been the one to kick off his mental stability downfall once she screamed in pain and he ended up liking it. Horrible for someone as young as him to enjoy such an attack, but he did to a degree. What were his emotions though? They had been tampered with for such a long time he never really came to argue against them. And yet when he killed those two animals and didn't feel disgusted with himself like he knew he should, he realized that there was something wrong with him. Illumi's voice didn't seem to want to shut up after that, and it pissed him off. Why couldn't the other just leave him alone? What would it take? The albino serval had also known about the capture that had happened. Guru taking Jacob with her back to the Typhoon. He had been about to go after the male, just like the rest of the Snowbound had been ready to. And yet he didn't.

The canine almost practically has forgotten as voices pierced his thoughts and his mind. Going to the Typhoon would have been a bad idea. He would have killed Guru the next time that he noticed her. It would have been the end of that when she hadn't gotten the message not to mess with him while he was in the Snowbound. The thought of killing her now for mocking him wasn't as strong as he thought it was going to be. Probably out of fear of what he didn't want to turn himself into. He could torture the female till she couldn't properly function if he wanted to, instead of killing her. Still, there was too much for him to go on. The Typhoon had approached the border with their leader and he had been the first Snowbounder to arrive. Not exactly random considering that was what usually happened. It was rare to appear on the scene last, and especially now. He had to keep his mind active more than ever. The last thing he expected to be there though was HER. Why was she here? What did she want? Now wasn't exactly the best time for Killua to talks to the likes of her, especially since the last time he was near her he ended up running away because of his fear. Killua had regarded the patrol with obvious aggression since Guru was there. But when they had all been ready to leave after giving Jacob back, he noticed the way that Argus had looked at him, and broke away from the group. There was no avoiding their interaction from the looks of it. The albino serval followed Argus along the border of Snowbound, although he was on the same side of the border that she was on. Bandages covered his torso and his shoulder from the self-inflicted wounds he had gotten only a day ago. The scent of blood not hovering around his body thanks to the fact that his air elementals got rid of any smell that was around his body. The bandages almost blended in perfectly with the rest of his fur. When they stopped and she turned around to face him, Killua kept his distance from her, his claws already unsheathed. He was skeptical. He was nervous. He was scared. He didn't know WHAT to think. His large ears were on a swivel as a scowl spread across his facial features before he finally spoke. "What do you want?" The assassin questioned, parts of his white fur around his paws stained a very light pink. Not noticeable if someone wasn't looking, but he hadn't managed to wash off dried blood quick enough and so it had slightly stained his fur. His eyes didn't change color while he talked to her, and his brother kept quiet this time.
snowbound -- snowseeker -- male -- 8 moons
[sub]template © olivan 
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Tags | Updated 03/26/17:



Re: NOWHERE TO HIDE FROM ALL OF THIS MADNESS | {P, ARGUS} - ARGUS - 04-11-2018


YOU'LL KNOW I WASN'T JOKING WHEN YOU SEE THEM TOO
Argus had intended to meet the Assassin- and the border example of someone acting up served as a learning example as well as a good reason to get away from the typhoon for a minute. As much as she was interested by the assassin- the insistant need to get away was driving her- an impulse move that hopefully worked in her favor here. At least if anything else, she could shift her attention away from her intiation to the typhoon and towards the current Apprentice sized-terror she was leading away.

It didn't come as a surprise to see him first on the border to find them. Large group- possible raid if nothing else. She was quick to pick out the differences in the few times that she's seen him over the past week. His paws had a pinker tint and bandages covered his shoulder. Either he had gotten in a fight before, or he was slowly showing what she knew he used to be.

Argus was not ignorant to the effects as time- even if he still was as young as he used to be when she first saw him. Time did more than changing the body. Argus was no longer the worried parent looking for their son. No longer the grief-stricken rageful beast that his impression had morphed to then. Argus was no longer Obscuro, even if they were one and the same.

While she knew that each name would only invoke an aspect of her past selves. She knew in a place so separate- away from the thoughts that plagued her of her others and the screams of the damned- that she held everything close. Every trait of each of her selves- waiting to be plucked and revealed to the rest of the world. A beast in a skin of sheep-wool waiting for the chance to shift into something once again monstrous. A mother scorned just wanting to love- but pushed too far, too many lost kids and too many reasons. A small kid never understanding the meaning of family, but looking off into the sunset with an ironclad will of 'if I cannot have a happy family- I will create one'.

Argus was impersonal- she was objective and very clever. She was the intelligence of all the years- all the lives she has walked and all those she has eaten and gained the memories of. She had the walk of a thousand years and knew, for the first time in her life that such a wish- a wish for the family would never be achievable for a beast like any of them became. So she pulled back, she held her punches and waited. This was the core of her namesake. A watcher with a thousand eyes- a thousand lives.

Watch she did, she had watched Killua flinch away from a shortened version of his name and hiss out a warning much like a beast cornered. Watched as he twitched and fidgeted as if being scolded- being ordered. Watched as he fleed if only to return with one of their own- the crew-mate- striker with bearly concealed rage. Only to repeat the process when he spotted her, the only thing keeping him there longer was the bearly controlled rage of what her clanmate had done.

Between that time and now, Argus has reviewed what she had seen within the young snowbounder. All the times she had done the ordering- the washing- sunk her claws into some innocent's mind and pushed pushed pushed just like me. She had watched then with open eyes, wild bi-colored hues as they twitched and sqirmed, watched as the little resistance that their childish brains widdled under her careful care.

Just like it was killua now.

Argus was not proud of her past selves. There was a reason she did not say their names as freely as she did her ghosts. Which is to say never- no one had bothered to know her as much as fear her in the past, and she was still too young in her name to even trust someone with what she knew.

Yet something pulled at her to give a sliver to Killua, only to watch him fall under someone else's thumb. She watched carefully now, see if the same effects would linger or if he too would start doing the same. Maybe Argus would have half a mind to chase after him this time- if necessary.

what do you want with me?

She pushed past the number of times she heard that. Quivering voices and scared expressions lightened by the single flare of candlelight. Different fur, different color eyes but always the same- always left blank by the time she was done with them-

She breathed very carefully. Closing her eyes and trying to gather herself for the strength she would need to power through this conversation. "I know why you don't remember me." She winced slightly at her own words, impulsive and brash maybe- but straight to the point. She stilled for a moment. Watching the other carefully for the same blank-eyed look she knew all too well to flash across it. "I do not know who is behind it- but I know their claws are still in you Killua."
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Re: NOWHERE TO HIDE FROM ALL OF THIS MADNESS | {P, ARGUS} - | KILLUA ZOLDYCK | - 04-12-2018

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[shadow=darkblue,right]KILLUA[/shadow]
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Loneliness was an emotion that Killua didn't think that he was capable of having. He was always surrounded by other animals nowadays, so one could think that he shouldn't be lonely while he was around others. That there shouldn't be any reason for him not to approach others and actually talk to try and learn about them. But what was the point of learning about who they were when he had already figured out what their past usually had after talking with them for the next couple of minutes? There was no point in trying to get to know someone if they weren't interesting. However, Killua didn't really have a choice when it came to him being picky, as he knew that if he waited for the perfect creature to come across him and they instantly became friends, that could wait for the rest of his life and there would be nothing that could be done to quicken something like this. Killua didn't even realize what emotion he was feeling after he had killed those animals. He had wanted to talk to someone about what he was going through. Sure, Kayn ended up following him but that didn't make him feel about a canine that he had only interacted one other time. Killua could care less about the canine just like most that lived inside of the camp after all. Killua dind't really want to listen to what Kayn had to say anyway. The other knew nothing about him, so he couldn't possibly know what he was going through. Besides, he hadn't been in the best mental condition to talk to someone directly after he had just killed two animals that were much larger than himself. He didn't want to kill though, which meant that someone had to have moved his body for him. Killua definitely could not have predicted this to happen, but as soon as Kayn did leave him, there was no one Killua could talk to. He wasn't about to approach Amorette with something as gruesome as this. Instead, Killua just kept everything to himself. A bad habit that he usually had all of the time when it came to trying to hide his feeling away from others. He was an expert, having been a pro assassin for a majority of his life once he met a certain threshold of kills. That threshold he wasn't really sure all that much anymore. Killua simply had traveled back to his cave after everything that had happened, and patched himself up in the cave that he lived alone in. Killua didn't try to live in the camp that was indeed Snowbound, as he didn't trust himself and he certainly didn't trust others that lived in Snowbound no matter how nice they could possibly be toward him. The albino serval had finished stitching himself up before he laid himself down in that cave. He hadn't expected it, but his reptile companion, Koru, approached him. He wasn't sure if it was possible to see in a snakes eyes, but he wanted to say he could almost see the concern in the reptile's eyes. Killua didn't know what he could say to the snake that wasn't capable of speaking back. The reptile curled around his unsheathed claws that were sinking into the rock of the cave that he considered to be his temporary base of operations. Eventually, he did let everything spill out of his mouth as soon as the albino black mamba had curled his way around his paws. The other obviously sensing his discomfort and fear that was radiating off of him. He talked about what he had become and that he was fearful that his condition may end up getting worse if he didn't do something. He could almost hear his brother snickering in the back of his mind. He talked to Koru for the majority of the night, and it actually felt nice to talk to someone that he knew wouldn't judge him for what he was. Killua was the only one that was capable of giving food to the reptile, and that meant that if Koru didn't stick around with him for a bit, the other would probably die in the frigid and cold condition. The entire time that he spoke, his entire body had been shaking, out of shock and fear that raked through his body. Was he even the same person anymore? What memories had been wiped from his head? What if he actually had a life before and his family took them away from him? Had he been forced to go back to square one and serve his family like an obedient son that he was? Killua had to keep his anger under control because if he didn't, it was going to end up with Koru seriously injured and he couldn't have that happen. His brother had been right, he didn't belong here.

He was alone. a feeling that he didn't have while he was with the Zoldyck family. But what if there was a chance for him to develop something? Killua refused to sleep that night, anxiety and stress eating away at the inside of his body. Knowing his current condition sleeping would just cause issues and would give his older brother a chance to take advantage of his mind and just feed him the night terrors that he was almost basically fine with nowadays. Killua didn't trust Argus at all since the other had talked to him on the border of the Typhoon. There were no clues that were set out in front of him that would give him any hint that the Typhoon member should even be trusted. Sure, she had managed to give him information that he didn't know, but that wouldn't be enough to earn him any trust. He had seen the way that she had practically looked at him, and it pissed him off. She had wanted to fight him when he first appeared on the border, and he would have done the same if it hadn't been for the feeling of fear that overcame his body. The assassin didn't know why the other was even trying to be here. Was the other trying to get more information out of him since she just so happened to know him? He didn't consider himself to be all remotely connected to the female, and that was due to his own cautious nature. Killua usually reacted positively to anything that was told to him once there was proof presented. No proof meant that there were holes in another's argument and could easily be manipulated if he really needed to. His sapphire blue eyes remained narrow at the female when she seems to sigh. This meant that whatever she was about to say was probably bound to make him angry or complicate their conversation. The scowl remained on his face as he watched each of the larger beasts movements carefully. There was such a thing as being too careful, but after what had just happened he couldn't afford another slip-up. Besides he was injured, he doubted that he would win in a fight against the female right now without dying of blood loss. The other said she had figured out why he didn't know her. Oh? This was going to be interesting. Was she going to attempt to manipulate him then because he didn't remember her? It was back to this subject again, and he could feel the same pressure in the middle of his chest that had developed during their first encounter. The fur on the nape of his neck bristling slightly in response to the strange pressure again. Killua didn't comment on what she said until she was done speaking. Then she spoke about someone having their claws inside of him, which honestly didn't make all that much sense to the young deputy. "The hell is that supposed to mean? Stop being vague and making everything seem like a riddle. Spit it out already what you know." Killua growled. He wanted concrete answers. He would rather not draw out their interaction considering how his body acted toward the female so far. While he spoke in probably a rude manner, he had raised one of his paws to gesture with, and pointed his paw toward her, with his claws sheathed so not to make it seem like he was going to swing his paw toward her.
snowbound -- snowseeker -- male -- 8 moons
[sub]template © olivan 
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Tags | Updated 03/26/17:



Re: NOWHERE TO HIDE FROM ALL OF THIS MADNESS | {P, ARGUS} - ARGUS - 04-13-2018


YOU'LL KNOW I WASN'T JOKING WHEN YOU SEE THEM TOO
Argus has always lived on the edge of the world. The balancing point in the worlds alignment, between chaos and civilization. She was not an influencer of it as much as she was simply a watcher. Wide blue eyes once watcher it with rapt attention, now dulled coloration of freshly spilled blood. She watched mortals dance with monsters and as each one snapped under the pressure of its own social construct of rules, turning into tragedies. Watched as they became monsters, and monsters becoming mortals. Until the dance started again, and again and again.

She has always had this ability to see so startlingly clear. She taught herself to be paranoid, taught herself this trick to see and observe in a means of prediction. To predict when someone would leave her, when they would return and when the process would repeat again. She selected her friends sparingly if any at all, and loneliness curled with her in her dens because of it. It hushed into her ear when she cried out and screamed higher than her own voice could carry the word "help"

But Argus was not Whisper, she was not the broken kit that cried pathetically in the drought desert. She was older, she was still cynical but more inclined to doubt, quicker to cut them down and far more intense in her observations. But in the end, they still felt the same, Argus still felt the same loneliness as she first did.  Even as her home pressed to her sides and she laughed and joked. In the crowd, it was so painstakingly lonely because no one would know her as extensively as her others, as her ghosts and those that haunted her.

In the end, she was always alone. She was born with the instinct of needing a home full of others who could understand her. To know her as better than she knew herself and to be trusted by her, and maybe there is a way for that place to be the typhoon. Maybe one day she could trust the clan full of crooks and be trusted by them as fully, but that would take time and time was something Argus did not have time to humor.

Because of the memory of her other's pressing into her. All their failures pressing into her skin and chocking her down. When they screamed the one question argus never wanted to answer, she gave them an answer that she wasn't ready to handle. She wasn't ready to realize how desperate that she was to find that place. Find a home she could trust and rid of the loneliness that dragged at her soul since she was just a child.

Argus should feel amused by the young warrior's reaction. Amused at how simple it was to dig under the deputies skin. It was not an amusement that she felt now, it was not an amusement that set her teeth in a grimace at the edge of his tone. It was not an amusement that held her tongue further and she hated it. Hated this hesitance as much as she hated the parents that cursed her with the inability to trust and to open up even just a glimmer.

Because it was interest that brought her here at first. It was interest that got her looking but it was interest that kept her going- it was not interest that made her join her clan at the border and it was not interest that made her pull the small apprentice aside. She saw the look on his expression, a difficult night and blood on his paws, in his scent no matter how hard he tried to hide it, it was still a part of his look.

It was concern. It was the same look she saw in reflections before she broke and no one knew her well enough to pull her together. She was not the person to be doing this, not the right person to pull this deputy away from himself- away from whatever influence the other had on him and try to fix the fractures before they split him into an unrecognizable mess.

"I never told you my name because the person i used to be - the person you knew before carried a different name." Argus felt herself shudder in the cold, Wings pressing harder to her sides, paw pushing against the bundle of fur she was smart enough to bring with her. "I am not proud of who i used to be, but i know the effects of someone controlling someone because i have done it."

She left out a hollow bitter laugh at that, no matter the expression that twisted across the other's features. "I have done it to others so many a times i fear to have lost count of them all. I remember what it was like to control a child and tell them to destroy their clan, i remember breaking their mind enough times until they became puppets who followed only my command." There was a broken, desperate edge to her voice and she did not try to hide the fear that lingered there. Sharing this kind of information- the sins that she carried were vast and deep and this was just a portion. How much would she give, just for a chance of being happy, of home? Anything, everything.

Argus felt her own laughter fade from her throat, red eyes glimmering with some unseeable desperate edge. "I have no idea who it is that whispers into your mind killua. But I offer my own paw in helping you be rid of them."
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Re: NOWHERE TO HIDE FROM ALL OF THIS MADNESS | {P, ARGUS} - | KILLUA ZOLDYCK | - 04-15-2018

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[shadow=darkblue,right]KILLUA[/shadow]
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Manipulating someone to gather information had been part of his training as an assassin. Unlike his brother though, he didn't really have a way to manipulate minds as good as he did. Killua actually had the use to use telepathy in case he wanted to try and full someone with an illusion, but to have that happen he would have to get through the mental barriers of the creature. It was one of his trump cards that he could use in a battle if he needed to create an illusion to try and get out of a terrible situation. Although since he had joined the clans, there had been no need for him to use something like that out of consideration that he usually just over powered those that tried to get the better of him. The usual method that Killua had stuck with when he was younger and didn't have the power was to simply physically torture those that had needed information. If he could afford the time, he would drag the creature he needed to torture all the way back to the Zoldyck estate. It was there that he would have all the tools that he would really ever needed in regard to what could cut what. Besides, taking someone to the Zoldyck estate, past the massive guard dog the size of a dragon, it would easily break anyone's will to try and escape and realize that there was nothing they could do to get out of this situation other than to give out what they knew. Most of the Zoldyck mansion was filled with cells and dungeons that could be used to torture or if someone tried to invade the place there were so many rooms that they wouldn't have a chance to search all of them. The young assassin usually chained the animal that he was carrying to the ground and would ask simple questions before doing anything to the animal. There were a few instances where they broke instantly after seeing all the tools that could be potentially used on them. Relaying all the information that they could possibly know and if he needed more information then he would just dwell into their mind for more as he sifted through their thoughts. Again, not a hard task to do when someone was emotionally distraught. When it did come time to do the torture, however, Killua simply gave the torture that he himself had gone through during his training. Poison. Electorcution. Carving. Drowning. All gloves were off when someone said that they weren't going to break no matter what they did to them. During these sessions, Killua was able to get a better understanding of his victims that could lead him to an answer on a way to torture them of what they could possibly fear. Those that were extremely tough physically usually had weak minds that were easier to break, while sometimes those that broke easily had the strongest minds for him to crack open.

Killua remembered hearing all the creatures that he tortured scream in pain, having learned the hard ways from his own training that screaming wouldn't have gotten him anywhere, which taught him that he shouldn't scream during a torture session. Any sign of pain gave him the incentive to continue attacking that area, as it was obviously sensitive. Every torture was different though, as other's would require different kinds of treatment. Killua didn't have to deal with that many tortures over his life so far though out of consideration that when he went out on a job he usually got all the information that he needed to know. Most groups that he was forced to hunt down didn't exactly change areas all that often all things considered. Killua knew how easy it was to manipulate others, but he had never forced someone to do something that they didn't want. It wasn't really Killua's strategy when he was younger, as he usually opted to try and just kill them and gather information from torture instead of worrying about whether or not they were going to follow his orders. There were too many issues with that strategy, at least to his own mind where he could easily have his position given away if the other tried to get bold and tell others what was happening and that he was being manipulated to do what the assassin wanted. He couldn't have an entire army coming after him, not just because it would be problematic, but because it would mean that his target would probably get away from the chaos. He was more of a physical killer than one that would torture the minds of others until they no longer had the right to think for themselves. Thinking about it, that had been exactly what happened to the wildcat with his family. They had gotten into his mind and brainwashed him to the point that he wasn't even really sure what was his own thoughts or what was the ideas that his family had fed into his mind. It was confusing, and more importantly, it was frustrating. Killua was injured. He knew that. He knew that in a full out fight there was a likelihood that he would just end up bleeding to death if he wasn't careful enough. He knew that the wounds that he had created on himself weren't that deep, but they covered a large surface area and since his body wasn't all that big, blood loss for an anima like himself would probably kill him. The other could obviously tell the way he was injured, and he didn't like the way that the canine had looked him over to evaluate his wounds and probably wondering how long it would take her to kill him. He couldn't get killed now after having come so far in trying to accomplish his goal. Which was honestly a simple goal if he just tried hard enough then maybe he would finally be able to grasp it.

Everything started to step in front of him though thanks to his goal and refused to let him get any closer. His family was to blame and nothing else. Killua managed to keep control of his own body for the meantime as the other gave him information about herself. At least, a small bit of information about her. So, the other had a different name back then? That could mean many things. Considering that reincarnation was so common among the clans, it could mean that she died and decided to take on a different name. Other creatures changed their names quite often, so if she just decided that she liked another name more she could have changed it without any worry. Unless she was trying to hide who she had been, then there were crimes that were attached to that name as well. There were many options as to why she could have decided to change her name. He noticed the way she was acting, and tried to keep himself calm. She wasn't trying to kill him yet. It was okay to be near her. Ultimately she did reveal her crimes, which came into his theory about why she had changed her name. Manipulated children. This caused the muscles around his shoulders to tense themselves. Then the term puppets came into play, and his large ears pinned themselves against his skull. What the hell was he so worried about? Considering that he had probably done almost as worse crimes that she had, Killua doubted that he would be the one to be allowed to judge her actions. He was a murderer, and she knew that from at least what he could gather. His shortened tail lashed behind him and he narrowed his eyes, and his sapphire blue optics widened at the other's offer to help him. Help him deal with his brother. Help him get the damned voice of his head. The sound of static had been in the back of his mind the entire conversation, and now it sounded like the screech of a chalkboard going through his head. A scowl of pain rippled through his head as he raised one of his paws as he touched the side of his head. Part of him wanted to refuse the other's help. He could help himself. But after what he had just done, could he really? A pained look was spread across his facial features for a split second before the pain started to ebb away. And instead, there were whispers to replace the pain. "Why? Why help me? You even said it yourself I killed your son! What would you benefit at all for helping me other than for your own advantage?" He still didn't trust her. There had to be a means behind why she wanted to help him. There just had to be as there was always a catch to be had in an exchange like this. The wildcat removed his paw from his head and back down onto the ground. He looked like he was on the verge of panting, the stress of his mind getting to his body already. "You'll be putting your life in danger by getting involved too much. The Zoldyck family doesn't exactly like those that stick their nose into their business." Killua spoke in a way that made it sound like he wasn't included in the family. Considering how much the other knew about him, there was no reason to hide the likes of his last name. The first creature in the clans since he had decided to join in with them to hear his last name. Who knew what Illumi would do once he found out what was going on though. His brother would obviously be pissed, and he felt like there was nothing he could do to stop him.
snowbound -- snowseeker -- male -- 8 moons
[sub]template © olivan 
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Tags | Updated 03/26/17:



Re: NOWHERE TO HIDE FROM ALL OF THIS MADNESS | {P, ARGUS} - ARGUS - 04-21-2018


IT'S TOO COLD FOR YOU HERE !
ARGUS - TYPHOON STRIKER - Storage
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Tourture. She feels something sick and twisted- something honnest and brutal curl on the tip of her throat. It reminds her of the first time she put a prisoner on desplay for her clanamtes amusement. How she took claws of the corpses she let her special presioner see her make. Smeared them in ink and painted her canvas. Ironically enough, it looked just like her mother. If only the eyes were slightly off. A prettyer shade of green. She idly wonders if anyone noticed.

Argus was born without moral, without the careful will that other clans were taught. She was never taught that life was important, that life had meaning. She was taught the difference between ally and enemy was scent, and that scent did not matter if wronged you. However, she was always taught there were worse ways than simply killing someone. She was raised drinking the blood of her parent's failures, and bathing in the isolation they forced upon her at a young age. She wasn't callous as a child, but she was... odd More so than the other kids there. Happy and bubbly, she was eager and she was ruthless. She was eerie and she was always- always a step away from snapping at the next pitting looked directed at her.

She was born in bloodclan, but the first time the clan ever saw her- ever made aware of her presence; She was freshly turned six moons old, crying with blood staining her paws. She was crying because there was no one to celebrate her birthday with her beside the corpse of a fresh kill. The first meal she didn't have to hunt for herself. A Grandfather- distant but smiling and whole and there but- distant. It was the first time she showed herself to her clan, and honestly, she shouldn't be surprised when nothing happened. Nothing but gossip. sad kid. Won't last the week. s h e  p r o o v e d  t h e m w r o n g.

Whisper was terribly- terribly lonely. But she was spiteful, she was happy and always two steps from the first line she should never have been close to crossing.

Clan mentality was a lot like pack mentality. The thought that they needed each other. And they did, they survived better together, but in her upbringing, she knew the core of being alone. Even within the midst of a crowd, she knew it better than any friend she had had. Being alone was a choice, and even as she chose differently- even now she still felt it's gentle caress.

It was that same presence that pressed down now. Making it hard for the striker to breathe between as Killua threw the accusation. It was in his voice too, isolation. More pieces clicking slowly into place the longer they talked. She wondered- what kind of person she sounded like now. A monster? A Lonely immortal? Neither was wrong but- not entirely true either.

She wondered how he would respond if she told him that they were not that far off. Maybe in another life, they could be friends; But argus now was volatile and greedy, and when she saw someone like her, she could bearly restrain herself from uttering you are mine.

It was not spite that lead her to want a family, nor desperation. Maybe parts of each, distaste for her own mother's abandonment. Her own experience living on the cusps of socialization- of sanity. Argus showed her spite for her mother by abandoning the last names she gave her. She showed her desperation by clinging to life, no matter how badly she wanted to let go.

She shook her head softly, an approving smile stretching across her maw. Now matter how dull her eyes looked. What it hid desperation, hope, spite, anger, insanity- they were ways to the soul. When she stared in the clear reflection of killua's gaze- the dead stared back. "I do not want you to know who i used to be. The memories you lost i doubt i could gather for you, but-" Argus knew of distrust, and while it was the shawl for which Killua wore now, it was not what she saw. Not what she was appealing to now. Trust was given with action over words. That would never change.

"Before, i was blinded with hate. Fuled with my own ego and power- seeing you on the border with my son dying. I should have looked past what i saw. Because you later explained to me that you were the only one in the rotten place who stood up for my son. Not only that- you tempered me. Made me realize it is not only my power that decides a victory. For that- I never got to thank you. You have helped me in a way that i didn't see until you were but a ghost-like my son." Argus explained, letting her maw twist into a grimace at her own words- speaking of her own folly's was never something she liked to do- speaking of her past was one of the things she forbid herself from drifting on, but what she spoke was the truth. "You did not kill my son. You showed more emotion more care. An assassin, then a pro-clan who proudly defended peace. Don't you think that's twisted?" The grin on her expression twisted, and her eyes flashed to the late riverside leader. "This is me returning the favor. Prooving to you that a beast, made of the shadows of their bloodlust- can help too"

As much as she needed to say it- he needed to hear it as well. Because isolation such as his was clearly self-imposed. The blood staining his fur pink he did not even glance at since she saw him. Disgust rolled off of him in waves. Trying to be something he desperately wanted to be- to be born the different way. Argus knew. In her darkest, she had not had anyone there to tell her this. But she was going to try to be better than her elders. Better than all those who wronged her- and maybe that was a better revenge than simply killing them. Letting them see they would not sway her. They would not sway him.

Argus does not try an attempt to fill his mind with platitudes to reassure him. Simply offering the other a smirk even as he turned away in distress from whatever stress going on in his head. "I  wouldn't have approached you if I was not ready to do whatever in my power to help." There was a challenge set in her words, but it was pushed away as she moved carefully to sircle the domestic. Her large frame blocking out the cold wherever she shifted. "Can you answer a few questions for me, or is us talking makeing it worse? Would you like to stop now? I can come by later if you think you can control yourself around your clanmates with this." While it would be better to be rid of it now- she knew better than to try and order him. Choices were ideal. Choices that the voice did not give him, would help turn the tide in her favor at least and ground him in his current situation now, rather than focousing on the claws ripping his control from him mentally.

/ finaLLY DONE
[W]isker



Re: NOWHERE TO HIDE FROM ALL OF THIS MADNESS | {P, ARGUS} - | KILLUA ZOLDYCK | - 04-22-2018

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[shadow=darkblue,right]KILLUA[/shadow]
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Numb. The pain had been a huge factor for him while he was growing up. At a very young age, he was given the rundown of what he would be doing for practically the rest of his life. He had agreed to what they were doing at the time because they had even said that it was going to beneficial to him in the end. Which it had been, but at what cost? He wondered what it would be like to have all of his emotions flow out of his body like water from a drain. What other's would think of him if they realized how broken and vulnerable he actually was when it came to the aspects of life. It sounded pitiful to even think about, but he knew that he wasn't all-powerful anymore. His family had made sure that he would never be and always made him feel weak when he was around them. Except for a couple of his siblings, he knew that he couldn't win in a fight against his oldest brother, as that would be suicide. He had tried time and time again, and the tiger had been the one to torture him to his near-death experiences over the months that he had been alive. Even with something as extreme as that, Killua began to become used to the pain that was dished out toward him. If other's were able to see a large number of scars that were underneath his fur, they would probably think of him as being grotesque. Yet, he had didn't receive any scars from the likes of a clanner, the scars that he either made himself or had gotten from his brother. No one else in his family had been the one to torture Killua for his training, as his mother and father were barely involved. They just told Illumi what to do, and like a good son, he followed whatever he was told. Actually, that was a lie, as some of the butlers had been tasked with punishing him based on his actions toward the rest of the family. The lashings didn't start till later in his life when he started to rebel against his family as he realized that they were lying to him and trying to manipulate him. They didn't care about him. They didn't CARE. The pain wasn't a feeling that he really felt all that often, at least physically. It was almost impossible to hurt the wildcat physically and try to make him scream out in pain. If any other group somehow captured him and tried to torture him, he probably wouldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing his pain. Resorting to just grunting as his limbs would be broken. Now if someone tried to target his eyes or try to cut off his tongue, then, of course, he would start to feel pain in that regard. There was no way to torture one's eye without making them go blind and the Zoldyck's couldn't afford to have Killua go blind in one eye during his training. Killua had his bones broken over and over again in his life, which meant they weren't as brittle as one would think since due to his young age he was able to heal pretty quickly. Although maybe not as quick as some animals that lived in the clans, he was able to heal himself up quite well either way. The assassin wasn't magical after all, and he was just basically a serval that had experience and modifications that helped him in life. If a tiger or lion were to grab hold of him, there would be little that Killua could end up do to get out of that situation. Relying on his speed was obvious thanks to his lithe form. Killua knew that he should be glad that he couldn't feel any sort of pain. But having watched clanners go through the pain that they went through, he wasn't sure if he could relate to what was happening to them. Sure, he could go back to think about the time that he was practically skinned alive thanks to his brother, but that pain would be different than what they were going through. Most of the aspects of his training usually fogged itself over in his head, as it was due to the repetition that his training had all of the time.

He should be glad that he didn't remember every aspect of the training that he had to go through, because if he did he might go insane from the thoughts that would creep into his mind. Killua felt numb when it came to the marks that he usually inflicted on himself. Self-inflicted wounds weren't exactly rare when it came to the assassin. Some of the wounds were created by accident, which happened if he woke up after a night terror and accidentally claw up his arms while he was flailing around in his sleep. There were still plenty of times where the wounds weren't created by accident, and instead for a purpose. He wanted to FEEL. He wanted to know what it felt like for him to be injured just like the blood that he had spilled over his life. Maybe he deserved to know what pain it felt like, or what it felt like to lose someone out of consideration that he had never lost anyone that he cared about. The assassin's claws were perfect for making clean cuts that he could stitch up and hide in between his fur without making a scene. He could also hide the scent of blood that would ultimately come off of his body thanks to the wounds. Part of him knew what he was doing was wrong. Ad yet, he didn't know what else he could possibly do. He had to atone for the things that he had done in his life, and every time he had a chance to laugh or even have fun in the clans, he was rushed with a feeling of guilt. He didn't DESERVE this. He was a killer, and shouldn't know what it was like to have feelings and emotions that he couldn't identify spring up. He was glad that he was numb because he could sometimes push his emotions to the back of his head. Killua refused to talk to other's about what he was going through, and that meant that he was bound to just be a bomb that was waiting to go off. The cuts that he had made himself were mementos for the tragedies he had committed, even if it wasn't really of his own actions. He had believed that he was doing what was right for his family. Killua was told that family was everything at a young age, and he would do everything for his family to make sure that they were proud of him. He was there to appease to their wishes, to make them happy, while sacrificing his own life in the process. Cuts ran along his arms and his shoulders. The pain was the only distraction from the voices in his head, and he felt sick. He was sick. He knew this, and still, what could he possibly do? He couldn't cry out for help. He refused to. He pushed other's away from him so that they didn't get to close. Having someone close to him just meant that they were probably doomed to die potentially by his own claws or the claws of another clanner. You are nothing but a puppet of darkness. You only feel happy when you kill someone. Killua visibly flinched as the words entered his head. He knew that he was being manipulated, and his body would still continue to listen to the commands that his older brother would give it. Killua wanted to figure out if the other's words rang true. Did he only feel joy when killing? That had to be a lie. His recent kill had almost made him want to vomit the shame he had of the crime that he had committed. Killua forced himself to look back toward Argus, who didn't seem to be upset with the situation at all.

Obviously, she didn't want to tell him everything, but he probably didn't want to know everything that she had done. She had probably been like him, but more ruthless than he was when he was just a kit that laughed hysterically when killed someone. The thought made his gut twist slightly as his sapphire blue eyes looked over her the entire time in a calculative way. He wasn't one to miss small details, and in a situation like this, he couldn't afford to. Then she started to talk about a memory that he couldn't remember. He had returned her child and had tried to stand up for him. And yet, why hadn't he stopped the one that was torturing him if it meant that much to him? It sounded like a poor excuse to just save his own ass instead of actually taking the blame for what had happened to her son. The white wolf said that he had helped her. Something that Killua couldn't exactly come to terms with, as he rarely tried to help others. Killua lowered his gaze to look down at the snow that was between his slightly pink paws. He could help. Why had that memory been erased though? Static started to feel his thoughts and made a scowl of frustration pass across his features. He wanted to know what he had lost. What his family had taken away from him. Was there any point trying to chase the past though for something that he couldn't have anymore? He wasn't sure anymore, but it was worth a shot as some sort of closure for what he had done. When the other said that an assassin was trying to protect the peace in the likes of a clan, he couldn't help but let out a light chuckle from his jaws. "Sounds pretty ironic and hypocritical." Killua stated, trying his best to maintain a joking tone. While at the same time keeping his voice from shaking from the emotions that were running through his body. Killua wanted to say that there was no need for her to return the favor. She had lost her child and didn't have to fight anymore to make amends for something that he couldn't even remember. Killua needed the help though, and the other seemed to have at least some knowledge of what was going on and maybe an idea how to fight it. The white wolf was obviously strong all things considered, and maybe he could use that to his advantage. But was she as strong as her brother? He wasn't sure. He would have to document all of her powers and fighting styles. Not like it mattered because his brother used poison needles so she would probably be dead as soon as she was struck by one. The other seemed to be confident in her skills though, which made him raise his head again, his shortened tail swaying from side to side as he considered his options. Did he even have any? Then he was given a choice, that surprised him a little bit, causing his sapphire blue yes to widened slightly. A choice. He hadn't had one of those for a while. Talk now, or talk later. He wanted to talk now because there was so much that he didn't know. But it was obvious that his brother didn't want him to stay with the feeling that blossomed in his chest began to increase, making it hard for him to breath. Fear. His air elemental's kept the scent from permeating through the air for the meantime. He hated this. God, he hated this. He sucked in a breath as silence passed through them for a couple seconds. "Fine, I'll answer some questions. Just... give me a second." Killua would then start to look around, his metal claws flexing into the snow. He then looked at the tree that was next to him and the low hanging branch He walked over toward the tree, and the serval crouched down, bunching up the muscles in his back legs. He focused on the way that his body was working instead of thinking about the fear that was coursing through his body. Finally, with the ten-foot leap that the serval was capable of manage, he was able to sink his claws into the branch with ease and hall himself up with almost what seemed to be grace. Now ten feet above the ground, he laid himself down on the branch, the fear that he had being so close to the wolf lessoned some. Which had been the point of gaining some distance between him and the canine. "Distance... helps. But you're asking questions I get to ask some of my own. What's your name?" Killua questioned, a question that he was pretty sure that he had asked before when they first met and the female had refused to answer him. Which was strange because the other knew now that he wasn't capable of remembering who she was in the first place. He was just tired of constantly referring to her as the white wolf than anything else. His gaze was directed downward toward the canine, and with the distance that he had gained, he seemed to have to calm down soon, but it would only last for a short time.
snowbound -- snowseeker -- male -- 8 moons
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