10-16-2018, 11:27 PM
Thea could only stare at Oni with a blank expression as both he and Al spoke, before a bit of laughter bubbled out of her. An inappropriate action, but still. Moon hadn't told him. Moon hadn't told anybody. "You really are an idiot, aren't you? You think I can go back? I was exiled. Or has Moon not told everybody that he couldn't keep one Fireball in line?" She paused, allowing this to sink in before continuing. "Moonmade isn't the reason we're enemies with Sunhaven. I am. It all started with Roy's murder, didn't it? And then me being the first one to find him, and placing the blame on Bucky." What little mirth that was in her eyes disappeared slowly, replaced by a solemn expression. Because she was sorry for what happened. She realized what she had done wrong, and regretted it every moment of her life.
"I got everybody caught up in my need for revenge, against somebody I didn't even know, just knew he had wronged me from some memories that didn't fit into my life. I hurt people because I was told to." Blood. Grief. She remembered the feelings, and flinched as they flooded through her along with the memories. A reincarnation. And saddled with whatever shit my former self didn't handle. Her thoughts were erratic, nothing stopping them from reaching Oni, nor the little whispers in her head.
You feel better now? Go on, tell him. The raid happened because of you. Harland was taken because of your actions, because you were weak. His dear cousin. And that if he kills you, then the cycle starts all over again, and you'll just be set for revenge in the next life. Shut up. "So there you have it. I can't go back, not unless I can find some way to make up for what I did. The hurt I caused. Now leave. Before I kill you, and whatever dreams you have of becoming Astral Seraph with you. The Ascendents are better off without a murderer in their ranks." It was true. As much as she loved and missed her home, she knew she could likely not go back, not unless she was prepared to have more blood on her paws. She wanted to go back, to the way things were before. No, she wanted it to be normal, where Oni had his eye still, Roy had never died, and Sunhaven was still allies with them. To not be terrified of ever having an apprentice, in fear of them taking after her, or even worse, having her own children, with them probably having the darker essences within her passed onto them. She wanted all that, without worry. But it was too late. She had already set fire to that pretty picture she saw as a potential future, because she had never been taught right from wrong, at least, not until it was too late.
//tired
"I got everybody caught up in my need for revenge, against somebody I didn't even know, just knew he had wronged me from some memories that didn't fit into my life. I hurt people because I was told to." Blood. Grief. She remembered the feelings, and flinched as they flooded through her along with the memories. A reincarnation. And saddled with whatever shit my former self didn't handle. Her thoughts were erratic, nothing stopping them from reaching Oni, nor the little whispers in her head.
You feel better now? Go on, tell him. The raid happened because of you. Harland was taken because of your actions, because you were weak. His dear cousin. And that if he kills you, then the cycle starts all over again, and you'll just be set for revenge in the next life. Shut up. "So there you have it. I can't go back, not unless I can find some way to make up for what I did. The hurt I caused. Now leave. Before I kill you, and whatever dreams you have of becoming Astral Seraph with you. The Ascendents are better off without a murderer in their ranks." It was true. As much as she loved and missed her home, she knew she could likely not go back, not unless she was prepared to have more blood on her paws. She wanted to go back, to the way things were before. No, she wanted it to be normal, where Oni had his eye still, Roy had never died, and Sunhaven was still allies with them. To not be terrified of ever having an apprentice, in fear of them taking after her, or even worse, having her own children, with them probably having the darker essences within her passed onto them. She wanted all that, without worry. But it was too late. She had already set fire to that pretty picture she saw as a potential future, because she had never been taught right from wrong, at least, not until it was too late.
//tired
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I'll give up on giving up
[i]and get the world on my side
Thea — Nora — Adara