so i loosen my heartstrings ✨ injury

[Luca]

Luca had once worn a variety of masks, some more literal than others. When he was younger he used to hide all his emotions behind an apathetic facade, although it was more subconscious than it was an attempt to seal away what he was feeling. He just hadn't been a very expressive child, and all emotions were more internal than external. However, as he grew this became less and less the truth, and his emotions slowly began seeping onto the outside. He hadn't become any more emotional than before (he was always sensitive and quick to anger) he had just gotten used to wearing his heart on his sleeve. Nowadays the only time he hid his emotions was during spy work or one of his rare regression periods, where he adopted the personality of his younger self and brooded in his house for days at a time. There was a freedom that came with being vulnerable sometimes; he preferred to be honest about what he was feeling.

One thing that he could never show openly, however, were the intrusive thoughts that haunted him every second of every day. It was always some twisted thought or another, internal commands to poison or mutilate or kill. Whether said thoughts were focused on himself or others varied, but he tried his best to fight them off with equal ferocity. For a time he had thought that it was something that came with being a demon, something that couldn't be helped, but he had learned over time that those thoughts were a very mortal condition. His deal wasn't the reason he suffered them, it was all the fault of his own stupid brain. He was sure that his goddess helped them out at least a little, though, being the cruel mistress that she was.

It was the smell of blood that freed him from his most recent thoughts, his mind breaking from fantasies of flames and smoke to focus fully on the scent. He frowned and headed towards it, for it was rare that he wasn't enticed by the familiar metallic smell. Although the scenes themselves stressed him out if there was too much yelling and running around, they were more often than not a pretty sight to see. He couldn't quite decide if blood was less or more pretty when staining the pelts of people he liked. Sure it was distressing to know they were hurting, but there was a beauty in that suffering. Pain brought people closer to divinity, after all, and divinity was the prettiest thing of all.

Perhaps that's why he was so conflicted when he finally came upon the scene of Silus on the shore. Children didn't quite need to cleanse themselves of sin, especially Silus, who had already gone though so much. There was no need for him to be in pain, for in Luca's eyes he had nothing to repent for. At least that erased the short-lived conflict that had been brewing in his chest, allowing worry to take over him fully. He rushed to the side of the striped feline, reaching a paw towards him before retracting it back, thoughts of disturbing the sage getting the better of him. "Silus? What happened!?" Luca asked, the smoke from his lungs catching in his throat and causing his voice to crackle with the subtle hiss of a fire pit. He swallowed away the accidental harshness, and his voice was its usual husky drawl when he continued. "Are you okay?" It was a stupid question, because Silus was quite obviously not okay. Perhaps something adjacent to alright, but most definitely not okay. He glanced around for a medic, but didn't want to run away to grab one if it meant leaving the kid alone.