FAMILIAR SINS — open, relapse

[madster]

tears were rolling down malphas' trembling face, and he was a pathetic mess. he was supposed to be this total asshole who cared about nothing and nobody, but here he was, crying from the stress. he shook, looking up at aya. how could she be nice to him in a time like this? he deserved this. he deserved to rot his liver alone, he deserved to die all by himself. "yeah, i'm a little sad, dad," he spoke back, managing a sad smile, showing some playfulness left in him.

then anima came, and back came the sobs. "n-no, this is fine," he said, looking back to his bottle of vodka. "i don't want to... burden.. anyone else."

then he began to talk about it. "i'm a medic. nobody thinks i should really be a medic, and i'm here anyways. i'm only a medic because my friend inspired me, and now she's probably dead. i'm an asshole because i don't want anyone to get too close, or else i'll lose them. i don't want to lose anyone. i just want to be emotionless, i don't want to care... but i do. i see so much pain, and hurt... and there's only so much i can do. the only comfort i have is my fuckin' addiction. i only swear so much because i-i want to be cool, and-" he was a little drunk, now rambling about his life. "i want to be a good medic. i want to be a good person. but all the good people die. i don't want to die."