FAMILIAR SINS — open, relapse

[madster]

malphas was scarred. both physically and mentally. his body was riddled with scars, but the most obvious was hidden under the long socks he put on his back legs. on his left back leg, there were terrifying deep teeth marks, but the didn't come from an animal. they were from the bear trap he had stepped in that fateful day. in his mind, though- there were so many more. every time he tried to sleep, he revisited them. the hyenas torturing hati. nayru going missing. the building collapsing on iota. being a medic was difficult. he was responsible for this clan. beck was the judge, morgan was the jury, and he was the executioner. he hadn't killed anyone yet, but he was terrified of messing up.

there was so much pressure, and no relief. iota and mira weren't around much, putting much of the work on him, and it crushed him like that debris crushed iota. he had so many enemies and so little friends. when he thought the nightmares were easing up, and he was dedicated to getting better, he threw all his alcohol into the swamp. now, he found himself diving down, surrounded by nothing but murky darkness, reaching to grab something he couldn't see. he couldn't see his future or a way out. he was drowning, unable to breathe. he finally grabbed a bottle with his teeth and swam upwards, paddling to land. he got out, unscrewed the top with his teeth, and drank half of it. he was soaking wet, and cold in the night, and he began to sob.

it was all too much. there was too pressure. he couldn't even stay clean for a fucking week.