Down To The Devils Show

[Jiyu Simul Stamus]

The question in mother's voice was nearly missed but the subtle bit of it she caught onto was enough to let Jiyu know she had slipped up a little bit, somewhat bared more than what she intended to. Keeping her history secret? Had at one time been how she survived, but now it was how she protected those she cared for from herself. No matter how hard she tried to change, to become someone that truly could fit in with the others around them she was still a monster trained her whole life to do horrible things. She didn't need to forgive herself for what she had done, because she had done her purpose and she didn't need to explain herself either. What she did need to do, was keep her loved ones safe from the monster beneath the sliver of cat she had constructed over the disfigured monster she really was. Jiyu was no fool, she knew by the nature of love they wouldn't stop loving her just because they saw who she was, but once they knew everything it was harder to keep them from hurting her or the other way around. Grim was proof, knowing the secrets she held he loved her so deeply he denied her the chance to live out her reincarnation which had been shaping up to be much more pleasant than her first life, bringing her back when she did not want to return. 

Jiyu loved Capone but she was no fool, mother was a god and capable of much more than her brother if the spirit believed something was for the best. The calico was not going to let someone decide what was best for her ever again, not only because she couldn't stand losing control like that but she never wanted to be that mad at someone she loved ever again. "Won't." empty mismatched optics narrowed slightly, she wouldn't be saying anything more on the matter, at least not without a little bit of prodding. Hopefully, her mother wouldn't be that interested.

"I suppose now would be a good time to mention you have many grandkits, all born from me." expect the few litters she managed to convince herself to let someone else carry, which had been two of them at most. "I always very good at raising them." she was possessive as a queen, brutal in the lengths she would go to in order to protect her children from harm. Of course, eventually all kits grew up and she was only one cat. "But kits grow up and that's the hard part, when they rather come to see a monster in me and choose to leave or they get taken away another way. Very few stay by me, and I don't even know if most of them are still alive." the female shrugged slightly as she sighed softly. It was difficult not knowing what become of almost all of her children, but she couldn't spend her life hunting them down. Jiyu had already done her job, she raised them if they chose to leave her that limited what she could do beyond what she already had.

Jiyu couldn't manage to laugh like her mother could but she was happy even empty as she was, this was enough for the former guard. The grin on her maw looked so out of place and misshapen. "It shouldn't take much to find some kit." if all else failed she was capable of having one for mother, but that would be a last resort, she had enough confusing relations without having a sister-daughter.