07-23-2018, 02:18 PM
I went ahead and wrote two reviews of this idea after reading it over a few times. I’ve been told I have a fairly critical eye for things such as world building and group ideas so you can read whichever one you want. The first one is a “yes man” sort of review that takes the concept as a ‘going to be imputed regardless’ point of view for me to give a few notes on. The second is a more critical outlook and my more purified thoughts and concerns. I will let you read whichever (or both) you want c:
I hope I helped, even if a little c:
Spoiler:
I feel like this is a very strong start to a world development. Despite being dark and, personally, not for me, I reminds me a lot of early southern american cultures like the Aztecs in their way of living and traditions. Something I’d like to note to maybe bring to your attention is the correlation between their violent tendencies and living in the dark. At least for humans, the sun supplies a huge amount of Vitamin D to us. Vitamin D (i think) has been correlated with a person's ability to be happy. The fact that they live entirely underground could be a cause for their violent and snappy nature. Just a thought. Im slightly concerned over the whole “joiners are hard to join” for if this were to become a group, it can drive away newer players. I understand your going for a whole “ic challenge” vibe, which i can get behind, but you still want to make it accessible for newer players. Don’t make your clan a popularity contest behind whos been there the longest. As Orion said, be sure to get permission with each and every character you guys will harm or slay otherwise its rule breaking. In fact, if this were to be a huge part of the clan, I suggest making an official post keeping track of them all. A simple forum people will have to submit for each successful attack. A like… ‘character name, character injured, thread link, screenshot of permission” sorta thing could go a long way. The whole slavery deal personally puts me very on edge, but i suppose if you want to put that in, you can. I personally don't see a ton of people lining up to play as a slave character though, lol. I can see the clan becoming successful as a catalyst to form trouble and chaos in other clans. They can balance eachother out.
Spoiler:
This group idea slightly troubles me. I’m all for dark plots, but I’m scared of this sorta becoming a hotspot for tons and tons of dark characters. Negativity feeds off more negativity. That much dark energy in one place is bound to attract some weird characters. I fear it becoming the early Exiles back on Feralfront. It was just… a place with constant torture threads and raid threads. There are ways to make dark and aggressive groups without going directly to the “blood and murder” ideals. My biggest fear is the players over the actual group itself. I feel like the group is a very interesting concept but I also feel it would need a lot of attention OOC’ly. If the current leader was willing to study the traditions and ideals of the clan, I feel it will do amazing. I’m excited to see it. But… I fear a leader that only puts up meetings and never plans anything (cuz there are some leaders like that. They’re rare but they’re there). The group’s rich history and ideology will fall to ruin and basically become the exiles 2.0. I feel anything in fictional writing should come with a cause vs effect outlook. If [leader] runs clan smoothly with dark traditions > clan is in track. If [leader] is unsupportive of developing clan and traditions > characters will try to do it themselves uncoordinated and things fall apart.
Plus, I personally think the slave thing is going a bit too far. I love dark capture plots as much as the next guy but… slavery rubs me the wrong way. It doesn’t feel right. Maybe if this site had a more mature audience but it is 13+... Also another thing to consider. Why are they killing so much? To please the gods? To please the gods why? With my Aztec example in my review above, the aztecs sacrificed because they believed if they didnt, the sun would die out.
Over all. Even if I personally won’t be joining, I am excited to see this group if it were to come to the site. I feel with proper care and attention, it can be an amazing hotspot for development and conflict. I just have a few concerns about it such as potential bad leadership, influxes of darker “uwu kawaii killer” (for lack of a better term) characters and the whole… slave ordeal. Hopefully my thoughts can help you in some way and I’m excited to see what you do with it c:
Plus, I personally think the slave thing is going a bit too far. I love dark capture plots as much as the next guy but… slavery rubs me the wrong way. It doesn’t feel right. Maybe if this site had a more mature audience but it is 13+... Also another thing to consider. Why are they killing so much? To please the gods? To please the gods why? With my Aztec example in my review above, the aztecs sacrificed because they believed if they didnt, the sun would die out.
Over all. Even if I personally won’t be joining, I am excited to see this group if it were to come to the site. I feel with proper care and attention, it can be an amazing hotspot for development and conflict. I just have a few concerns about it such as potential bad leadership, influxes of darker “uwu kawaii killer” (for lack of a better term) characters and the whole… slave ordeal. Hopefully my thoughts can help you in some way and I’m excited to see what you do with it c: