07-23-2018, 09:28 AM
HAPPINESS
Happiness was a weird concept for Caesar, if he was honest. The demon didn't really experience happiness for the most part, save for the times he had gotten promoted in The Typhoon. Although that was more of a matter of pride than it was happiness. Caesar just never really experienced the emotion anymore; not after he destroyed his Home Dimension. The Typhoon brought a sense of pride, sure, and was happy there, but his way of showing happiness was just to, well, be a dick and hold a monotonous tone and look to his face. Caesar just didn't know how to express it, either.
But back home, did Caesar ever feel happiness? Somewhat. Caesar was happy as a child, although it was more of a 'ignorant is bliss' type of deal. As a child, he didn't know the harshness of the Seventh Tier, let alone how Dimension FiveX was run. He was happy as a child with his mother and father and siblings; he enjoyed rough-housing with his brother and sister and playing in their father's field. He enjoyed playing pranks on his family and loved curling up next to his mother at night, where she hummed her children asleep.
However, Caesar grew up, just as all children do and learned of his Dimension's ways. He learned how they treated outsiders, like Atbash, and grew to despise the Dimension. When Vigenere got Chosen to be apart of the King's Guard, Caesar felt anything but happiness. He felt rage. Envy. He was angry at Vigenere for accepting their offer despite knowing how their Dimension treated others, and he was angry for not being Chosen himself. He could have changed the Guard! He was better than Vigenere, and he soon started to envy his brother. So he sabotaged his brother's rank, stripping him of his position in the Guard. Unfortunately, this stunt ended up exiling the rest of the family.
So did Caesar experience happiness even then? No. Caesar was in a constant stage of anger and revenge. He wanted nothing but to destroy the King and his Court, and although he thought he could finally be happy again, he was not. In fact, causing Dimension FiveX to rot from the inside out only caused him more hurt. He left his parents to die, to be burned alive, and he had to push that feeling of grief and remorse away. And perhaps that's why Caesar doesn't feel true happiness anymore; he's too preoccupied with pushing his other emotions away.
'TILL I'M NUMB, 'TILL I'M BLISSFUL !
bio ★ male ★ rogue, no group ★ tags ★ plot with caesar!