07-20-2018, 03:53 PM
[div style="font-family: constantia; font-size: 13px; text-align: justified; width: 70%; margin: auto;"]
A single season wasn’t the longest Shining had disappeared from the eyes of his friends. His first time leaving from Hawkclan, over three years ago, led to him leaving no sign or trail for over four seasons. An entire year away from friends and clanmates. That year… wasn’t a good time for the feline. Filled with mistakes, violence, uncontrolled anger…
The reason he had turned pacifist.
So, what was a single season compared to that? Shining had turned noticeably skinny, weak, his mind slower and perhaps damaged. What had happened in the span of those several weeks for the feline to change so drastically? What caused him to resort to self-harm to distract himself from reality? He had left his friends, his clanmates, everything behind… For what?
Not even he could smile. Not even he could find something to be truly happy about. His smiles now were fake, strained, masking the broken heart within him. Shining was caught in this endless cycle, of trying to love others and show kindness to the world- only to ruin it all in one single decision. One wrong move.
…
Something hurt. Something not like the rest of his body’s aches. The recent scars, the exhaustion in his heart. He felt that old, familiar tug. A desperation.
…
“Shine… Y-you nerf!” Her voice sounded strained, like it hadn’t been used for months. Anger and bitterness radiated in strong waves, traveling through the thread that bound them together. Shine felt it all, unleashed together at once, the bottled-up emotions exploding from pressure. He wasn’t ready for it- not in this state. The feline braced himself.
The impact itself wasn’t all that painful. He barely felt it, his muscles toughened yet numb from all the walking. The message behind it was what prompted Shining to let go of his forearm, pulling his claws out and away. But his eyes remained closed, the anger giving way to brokenness. The tears continued to run down his cheek.
Her interrogation came next. He had expected it, he had known it to come eventually. Lessa would press him for answers, an explanation, until the end of time. And Shining had evaded giving the proper answers for quite some time. Even before he left, there were secrets kept hidden. Secrets he had intended to never share.
But he had to tell. She deserved to know. Even if the truth hurt.
Shining opened his eyes, letting the mix-matched colors take in the sight of the pine marten standing over him. “There are some places… that no one should go to…” He was quiet. “Neither willingly, nor forced… I was trying to keep you safe. T-Trying to save you from pain beyond imagination. Brokenness beyond r-repair… But it doesn’t matter what I do. I’ll always end up hurting you… one way or another.”
“That’s the curse I live with. The… incurable disease within me. It haunts me every day and night. Watching me, judging me with its…”
He fell silent.
A single season wasn’t the longest Shining had disappeared from the eyes of his friends. His first time leaving from Hawkclan, over three years ago, led to him leaving no sign or trail for over four seasons. An entire year away from friends and clanmates. That year… wasn’t a good time for the feline. Filled with mistakes, violence, uncontrolled anger…
The reason he had turned pacifist.
So, what was a single season compared to that? Shining had turned noticeably skinny, weak, his mind slower and perhaps damaged. What had happened in the span of those several weeks for the feline to change so drastically? What caused him to resort to self-harm to distract himself from reality? He had left his friends, his clanmates, everything behind… For what?
Not even he could smile. Not even he could find something to be truly happy about. His smiles now were fake, strained, masking the broken heart within him. Shining was caught in this endless cycle, of trying to love others and show kindness to the world- only to ruin it all in one single decision. One wrong move.
…
Something hurt. Something not like the rest of his body’s aches. The recent scars, the exhaustion in his heart. He felt that old, familiar tug. A desperation.
…
“Shine… Y-you nerf!” Her voice sounded strained, like it hadn’t been used for months. Anger and bitterness radiated in strong waves, traveling through the thread that bound them together. Shine felt it all, unleashed together at once, the bottled-up emotions exploding from pressure. He wasn’t ready for it- not in this state. The feline braced himself.
The impact itself wasn’t all that painful. He barely felt it, his muscles toughened yet numb from all the walking. The message behind it was what prompted Shining to let go of his forearm, pulling his claws out and away. But his eyes remained closed, the anger giving way to brokenness. The tears continued to run down his cheek.
Her interrogation came next. He had expected it, he had known it to come eventually. Lessa would press him for answers, an explanation, until the end of time. And Shining had evaded giving the proper answers for quite some time. Even before he left, there were secrets kept hidden. Secrets he had intended to never share.
But he had to tell. She deserved to know. Even if the truth hurt.
Shining opened his eyes, letting the mix-matched colors take in the sight of the pine marten standing over him. “There are some places… that no one should go to…” He was quiet. “Neither willingly, nor forced… I was trying to keep you safe. T-Trying to save you from pain beyond imagination. Brokenness beyond r-repair… But it doesn’t matter what I do. I’ll always end up hurting you… one way or another.”
“That’s the curse I live with. The… incurable disease within me. It haunts me every day and night. Watching me, judging me with its…”
He fell silent.
[div style="font-family: constantia; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; width: 100%; margin: auto;"][shadow=black,left]MY HEART'S AN ARTIFICE, A DECOY SOUL
WHO KNEW THE EMPTINESS COULD BE SO COLD?!
Shininglight — Wanderer — tags[/shadow]
WHO KNEW THE EMPTINESS COULD BE SO COLD?!
Shininglight — Wanderer — tags[/shadow]