07-19-2018, 11:44 PM
" IT'S FINE NOW. WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE! "
He would never admit it, or at least not now, but maybe he did need this sort of treatment. It was a wake up call, almost, something to make sure he knew that he was not the victim here. He could feel that way all he wanted- always dwelling in his sadness and regrets. But... what good would come of it? And yet he ignored these feelings. At least, for now. Toshinori knew that much of the students' deaths rested on his shoulders- of course he knew that, and of course he was so sorry, but he couldn't help but feel that he was being attacked.
He was being selfish again, though.
He had been selfish that night and he would continue to be selfish. He was supposed to be a top hero. A paragon of the virtues people looked for in heroes. He was supposed to be selfless, resilient, and he was supposed to finish what he started, and yet he had done none of those things. Instead of going down in a blaze of glory, as he had dreamed when he was a boy, he went down in a pitiful sputter of shame. One would think it would teach him a damn lesson, but here he was, continuing his selfish ways without even realizing it.
Of course Aizawa had similar struggles. They were coworkers, they were both heroes, and while they were very different people- not to mention they hardly got along -they had similar goals. To train the next generation of pro heroes and make absolute sure they were ready for the toughest challenges that came with it. But the kids always tried to take things into their own hands, and Toshinori hadn't been tough enough on them, like Aizawa had. The former teacher had been known to expel students for various (and valid) reasons, driving home the fact that he would punish his students. But All Might had never taught before. Izuku had been his first student, and... ultimately, his last. Because Toshinori had been selfish. His teaching style had always been a bit too soft, an attempt to be the 'cool teacher' while still being effective. Well, he supposed he'd achieved one of those goals, but it hadn't been the one that mattered.
His thoughts were broken by Aizawa's question.
"W-what? No," he answered through a slightly amused snort, a shake of his head punctuating his response. "I'm not- no. Midoriya is not my son."
He supposed one could have gotten that impression, though. They had the same quirk (though to anyone else it would just look suspiciously similar), he had aided Izuku through his studies at U.A. far more than he had other students (which he felt guilty about now), and just... the bond they shared. Toshinori was the mentor, and Izuku was the apprentice. It would have been easy to mistake for something familial.
So, you sacrificed other people's lives because you were feeling sorry for yourself?
There it was. The truth was harsh, and while he knew he would have to face it sometime, he really didn't want to.
Toshinori almost sat down. His face had fallen into a seemingly permanent scowl. His eyes almost sank deeper into their sockets, the shadows cast almost grew more intense. But they didn't. He stood, stock still and almost the same as he had been a moment ago. His claws dug into the ground. An uncomfortable silence hung heavy in the air; a thick, charged fog that didn't want to lift.
"Yes."
And there his answer laid. His ears fell flat against his skull, his head had fallen back into its formal, bowed position. He wanted to defend himself. He wanted to explain why, but he already had, and it had been a shitty excuse. It hadn't been an excuse at all, really- it was just what he told himself to keep his brain from being utterly destroyed. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't come to this world after he'd died. For a moment, he'd seen it as a second chance. But now he wasn't so sure.
He felt as though he should say something else, but he also felt that if he did, he would overstep his boundaries. No matter what. If he offered an apology, it was worthless. If he tried to defend himself, he would just make himself look worse. If he offered to make it up to Aizawa, there would be no amount of work great enough to cover the cost of human lives. He knew this. And yet, he still wanted to say something, anything even slightly off topic, just to clear the air. Perhaps his nerves were getting the best of him?
He said nothing after all. The lion seemed to have his thoughts much more together than Toshinori did, after all. He was sure that speaking at this point would just be another mistake among many.
He was being selfish again, though.
He had been selfish that night and he would continue to be selfish. He was supposed to be a top hero. A paragon of the virtues people looked for in heroes. He was supposed to be selfless, resilient, and he was supposed to finish what he started, and yet he had done none of those things. Instead of going down in a blaze of glory, as he had dreamed when he was a boy, he went down in a pitiful sputter of shame. One would think it would teach him a damn lesson, but here he was, continuing his selfish ways without even realizing it.
Of course Aizawa had similar struggles. They were coworkers, they were both heroes, and while they were very different people- not to mention they hardly got along -they had similar goals. To train the next generation of pro heroes and make absolute sure they were ready for the toughest challenges that came with it. But the kids always tried to take things into their own hands, and Toshinori hadn't been tough enough on them, like Aizawa had. The former teacher had been known to expel students for various (and valid) reasons, driving home the fact that he would punish his students. But All Might had never taught before. Izuku had been his first student, and... ultimately, his last. Because Toshinori had been selfish. His teaching style had always been a bit too soft, an attempt to be the 'cool teacher' while still being effective. Well, he supposed he'd achieved one of those goals, but it hadn't been the one that mattered.
His thoughts were broken by Aizawa's question.
"W-what? No," he answered through a slightly amused snort, a shake of his head punctuating his response. "I'm not- no. Midoriya is not my son."
He supposed one could have gotten that impression, though. They had the same quirk (though to anyone else it would just look suspiciously similar), he had aided Izuku through his studies at U.A. far more than he had other students (which he felt guilty about now), and just... the bond they shared. Toshinori was the mentor, and Izuku was the apprentice. It would have been easy to mistake for something familial.
So, you sacrificed other people's lives because you were feeling sorry for yourself?
There it was. The truth was harsh, and while he knew he would have to face it sometime, he really didn't want to.
Toshinori almost sat down. His face had fallen into a seemingly permanent scowl. His eyes almost sank deeper into their sockets, the shadows cast almost grew more intense. But they didn't. He stood, stock still and almost the same as he had been a moment ago. His claws dug into the ground. An uncomfortable silence hung heavy in the air; a thick, charged fog that didn't want to lift.
"Yes."
And there his answer laid. His ears fell flat against his skull, his head had fallen back into its formal, bowed position. He wanted to defend himself. He wanted to explain why, but he already had, and it had been a shitty excuse. It hadn't been an excuse at all, really- it was just what he told himself to keep his brain from being utterly destroyed. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't come to this world after he'd died. For a moment, he'd seen it as a second chance. But now he wasn't so sure.
He felt as though he should say something else, but he also felt that if he did, he would overstep his boundaries. No matter what. If he offered an apology, it was worthless. If he tried to defend himself, he would just make himself look worse. If he offered to make it up to Aizawa, there would be no amount of work great enough to cover the cost of human lives. He knew this. And yet, he still wanted to say something, anything even slightly off topic, just to clear the air. Perhaps his nerves were getting the best of him?
He said nothing after all. The lion seemed to have his thoughts much more together than Toshinori did, after all. He was sure that speaking at this point would just be another mistake among many.
code by spacexual