07-19-2018, 05:37 PM
" IT'S FINE NOW. WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE! "
He told himself that he deserved the treatment he was getting. He was genuinely surprised that Izuku didn't hate him. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. He already carried the burdens that came from his own grave mistake; to think that he didn't regret that night would be ludicrous. If he could go back and do it over, he would give anything to fix it, but it just wasn't realistic. To think that weight wasn't carried with him everywhere he went would be ludicrous. And perhaps he was supposed to haul himself out of this mental rut by now, but it had all been so recent to him. Toshinori had heard that Izuku and even Aizawa had been here much longer than he had, even if they had all died on the same day. His mistake wasn't something he could simply get over in a day or two- the lion should know that, at least.
Speaking of the lion, he followed the other man at a healthy distance. He felt that they'd been going for a while- the sleeves of his oversized sweater were beginning to get rather wet at the ends with snow -and finally, Aizawa paused. The serval let cerulean eyes jump over him and the landscape, trying to find a reason for the stopping, but turning up nothing. Then he heard his voice.
At first he said nothing. Toshinori's jaw went slack for a moment before he immediately closed it again. Of course he'd been expecting a conversation on this topic, but so soon, and with so little warning... well, he supposed that was rather like Aizawa. Even if they didn't get along, they'd worked together long enough that the feline felt as though he'd learned a few of his mannerisms. But this wasn't really the time to think of that. He was stalling in his head, trying not to answer, mostly because... he wasn't quite sure. Then the second question came.
You let all of them die, and for what?
He felt as though he could explode. His first instinct was to just turn around and leave, but he was glued in place. But... was Aizawa wrong? He wasn't... he wasn't quite sure. His eyes blazed, and then they cooled, and then they dimmed and fell to the snow. The serval inhaled through his nose and exhaled the same way, forcefully, without grace.
"It wasn't just that Midoriya died."
His voice was very quiet. His body looked small, as though he was a crude stick house that would topple in on itself at any moment. He avoided looking anywhere near Aizawa.
"You... don't know this. But he was going to be my successor. I passed my Quirk on to him," he explained. It occurred to him that most of the staff at UA had never known about his and Izuku's unique bond, but it didn't matter now. Now, they were all dead, and it was all his fault.
"I passed my Quirk, One for All, to him the same way my mentor passed it to me. And her mentor to her, and so on. Midoriya was the ninth person to inherit it."
He hoped that it made sense. He didn't have the energy, or even quite the memory to explain it right now. But Aizawa was smart- it would probably suffice.
"When Midoriya... died, I knew it was my fault. I had never been strict enough on him for rushing into things." He trailed off for a second. Maybe this would be enough. Maybe he could stop here, or after a few more words.
"I hadn't just failed him. I had failed every user of One for All before him and myself."
But he still hadn't answered Aizawa fully. Damn him for deserving the answers to his questions. Damn him for being in the right. Toshinori's brow furrowed deeper and his frown cracked into his face with a more grim seriousness to it. The serval hardly kept up with him as they continued walking.
"Then, I... well. I gave up."
And still, the last question went unanswered. It wasn't because he didn't know. It was because it destroyed him to say it. He had let so many die, and why? Because he felt bad? He had always pushed through things before, why had he chosen that day to give everything up so selfishly?
He bowed his head, staring at the endless snow beneath him. Aizawa wouldn't see unless he turned around, but that was okay.
"And... they died."
He had stopped moving. His head remained bowed.
Speaking of the lion, he followed the other man at a healthy distance. He felt that they'd been going for a while- the sleeves of his oversized sweater were beginning to get rather wet at the ends with snow -and finally, Aizawa paused. The serval let cerulean eyes jump over him and the landscape, trying to find a reason for the stopping, but turning up nothing. Then he heard his voice.
At first he said nothing. Toshinori's jaw went slack for a moment before he immediately closed it again. Of course he'd been expecting a conversation on this topic, but so soon, and with so little warning... well, he supposed that was rather like Aizawa. Even if they didn't get along, they'd worked together long enough that the feline felt as though he'd learned a few of his mannerisms. But this wasn't really the time to think of that. He was stalling in his head, trying not to answer, mostly because... he wasn't quite sure. Then the second question came.
You let all of them die, and for what?
He felt as though he could explode. His first instinct was to just turn around and leave, but he was glued in place. But... was Aizawa wrong? He wasn't... he wasn't quite sure. His eyes blazed, and then they cooled, and then they dimmed and fell to the snow. The serval inhaled through his nose and exhaled the same way, forcefully, without grace.
"It wasn't just that Midoriya died."
His voice was very quiet. His body looked small, as though he was a crude stick house that would topple in on itself at any moment. He avoided looking anywhere near Aizawa.
"You... don't know this. But he was going to be my successor. I passed my Quirk on to him," he explained. It occurred to him that most of the staff at UA had never known about his and Izuku's unique bond, but it didn't matter now. Now, they were all dead, and it was all his fault.
"I passed my Quirk, One for All, to him the same way my mentor passed it to me. And her mentor to her, and so on. Midoriya was the ninth person to inherit it."
He hoped that it made sense. He didn't have the energy, or even quite the memory to explain it right now. But Aizawa was smart- it would probably suffice.
"When Midoriya... died, I knew it was my fault. I had never been strict enough on him for rushing into things." He trailed off for a second. Maybe this would be enough. Maybe he could stop here, or after a few more words.
"I hadn't just failed him. I had failed every user of One for All before him and myself."
But he still hadn't answered Aizawa fully. Damn him for deserving the answers to his questions. Damn him for being in the right. Toshinori's brow furrowed deeper and his frown cracked into his face with a more grim seriousness to it. The serval hardly kept up with him as they continued walking.
"Then, I... well. I gave up."
And still, the last question went unanswered. It wasn't because he didn't know. It was because it destroyed him to say it. He had let so many die, and why? Because he felt bad? He had always pushed through things before, why had he chosen that day to give everything up so selfishly?
He bowed his head, staring at the endless snow beneath him. Aizawa wouldn't see unless he turned around, but that was okay.
"And... they died."
He had stopped moving. His head remained bowed.
code by spacexual