07-16-2018, 04:55 PM
Pincher had a lot in his life that he was grateful for but the most he was grateful for was his daughter and his son, even if one no longer desired to grow close to him. It was wonderful for him to have a family again, to be able to find security and peace even when he had feared that he would never find it months ago. Despite him and Guru never really able to see eye to eye and had only been together for a brief one night stand, he had to thank her for bringing Goldenluxury into his life even though he had not been there in the beginning. He was to blame for that, for letting his fear block him from connecting with his children and he wasn't angry that he had already lost one to viewing him as nothing but a deadbeat dad. He understood with all of his heart...or well, whatever was left of it within his chest since his real heart was gone, no longer beating inside his chest.
"No, you didn't miss much of anything. Without you around, there's hardly anything interesting to do." Pincher choked, a warm chuckle rolling out of his salmon pink tongue as he reached down to softly draw his tongue over one of her ears before noticing the dryness of her voice. He frowned, aqua blue eyes glinting with worry before the canine reached forward to grab a small bowl of water he had laid to rest beside her bed in case of this ever happening. He gently set it down in front of her, balancing it enough so it would not topple over as he then heard her speak once again, this time apologizing for worrying anyone. His frown deepened, his emotions slowly beginning to bubble as he felt guilt and shame try to grip at his lungs and make it difficult to breathe. Why did she apologize? He swallowed before calmly answering "Don't apologize about making us worry, Goldie. We only worry because we love you so much." He went to rub his cheek against his daughter as he heard her add that she loved him, he wrapped his paw around her to bring her closer but not hard enough to cause any pain as he murmured "And I love you with all my heart, Goldie. You're my greatest treasure." And she was. And so was Blue. They were the ones that motivated him to become better, to not let his demons win over and lead to more destruction. Pincher knew he was no good but he could at least try to be.
Then she asked him the question that caused a sudden shiver to march down his spine, spiked with shock and anxiety. What was it like to die? It was...horrifying. It was an inevitable fear and Pincher had been like a fish out of water, gasping for air while feeling his energy slip away alongside his blood. And the fear began to rise like a growing tide as Goldenluxury begun to speak about her own experience of death, the doberman remaining completely silent, his body stiff and cold like a statue as small patterns of frost began to form on his back at the realization that he would have nearly lost a child once again had it not been electricity that brought her back to life. His throat felt tight as he didn't know how to respond, shock beginning to envelop him as his vision blurred. Death. So much death. Pain. All of it. He was so tired. So, so tired. Of feeling. It was all so much. But he forced himself to return to reality, to be there for his daughter. "Death is...undescriblable. I-I just, theres so many ways to do and I don't believe I could ever explain the perfect feeling of it but for me, I felt...scared. Ashamed. I didn't want to leave you or your brother alone. I felt like I should have been better for you two, to have shown you how much I loved you and that not all the time in the world would be enough for me to show it. But to die, it's a feeling of many emotions, I suppose. Is that what you felt, sweetie?" He hesitated in asking but he had to know. He had to see what she had felt.
Then he heard her say the final words and he allowed a gentle sigh to escape his lips, traced with the bitter vodka he tended to drink when stressed. "I know, love. I know. You work the hardest and I've never been prouder. But it's okay to rest. To settle for a bit after bad things happen. You deserve to relax. I am the proudest father in the world because of you." His voice wavered, shaking at the end as he realized that he was growing emotional, opening himself up to his daughter had caused him to realize how much she meant to him. The burning sensation of tears pricked at his eyes but he forced himself not to cry, to remain strong for his daughter because she needed him and he would make sure he would be there for her when he had not been when she had almost died.
"No, you didn't miss much of anything. Without you around, there's hardly anything interesting to do." Pincher choked, a warm chuckle rolling out of his salmon pink tongue as he reached down to softly draw his tongue over one of her ears before noticing the dryness of her voice. He frowned, aqua blue eyes glinting with worry before the canine reached forward to grab a small bowl of water he had laid to rest beside her bed in case of this ever happening. He gently set it down in front of her, balancing it enough so it would not topple over as he then heard her speak once again, this time apologizing for worrying anyone. His frown deepened, his emotions slowly beginning to bubble as he felt guilt and shame try to grip at his lungs and make it difficult to breathe. Why did she apologize? He swallowed before calmly answering "Don't apologize about making us worry, Goldie. We only worry because we love you so much." He went to rub his cheek against his daughter as he heard her add that she loved him, he wrapped his paw around her to bring her closer but not hard enough to cause any pain as he murmured "And I love you with all my heart, Goldie. You're my greatest treasure." And she was. And so was Blue. They were the ones that motivated him to become better, to not let his demons win over and lead to more destruction. Pincher knew he was no good but he could at least try to be.
Then she asked him the question that caused a sudden shiver to march down his spine, spiked with shock and anxiety. What was it like to die? It was...horrifying. It was an inevitable fear and Pincher had been like a fish out of water, gasping for air while feeling his energy slip away alongside his blood. And the fear began to rise like a growing tide as Goldenluxury begun to speak about her own experience of death, the doberman remaining completely silent, his body stiff and cold like a statue as small patterns of frost began to form on his back at the realization that he would have nearly lost a child once again had it not been electricity that brought her back to life. His throat felt tight as he didn't know how to respond, shock beginning to envelop him as his vision blurred. Death. So much death. Pain. All of it. He was so tired. So, so tired. Of feeling. It was all so much. But he forced himself to return to reality, to be there for his daughter. "Death is...undescriblable. I-I just, theres so many ways to do and I don't believe I could ever explain the perfect feeling of it but for me, I felt...scared. Ashamed. I didn't want to leave you or your brother alone. I felt like I should have been better for you two, to have shown you how much I loved you and that not all the time in the world would be enough for me to show it. But to die, it's a feeling of many emotions, I suppose. Is that what you felt, sweetie?" He hesitated in asking but he had to know. He had to see what she had felt.
Then he heard her say the final words and he allowed a gentle sigh to escape his lips, traced with the bitter vodka he tended to drink when stressed. "I know, love. I know. You work the hardest and I've never been prouder. But it's okay to rest. To settle for a bit after bad things happen. You deserve to relax. I am the proudest father in the world because of you." His voice wavered, shaking at the end as he realized that he was growing emotional, opening himself up to his daughter had caused him to realize how much she meant to him. The burning sensation of tears pricked at his eyes but he forced himself not to cry, to remain strong for his daughter because she needed him and he would make sure he would be there for her when he had not been when she had almost died.
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© MADI
the ruby sunset waters hide a resurrected lover