06-30-2018, 01:52 AM
✧*:･ﾟ The sudden voices made her fur ruffle up as her little body grew tense, her pupils slightly widened with a bit of fear only to let out a startled hiss before realizing that it was Caesar. She swallowed a bit still tasting the metallic flavor of blood on her tongue "I d-did it. . ."" She said in a shaky voice with her ears pinned against her head as tears blossomed in her eyes once more only to slither down her cheeks, she sniffled quietly as she scooted herself deeper into the log adding in an even quieter voice "I d-didn't mean t-to do it. . . R-really. . ." She stared down at her forepaws unsheathing her pink claws staring down at them seeing that they were coated with blood, it wasn't fresh anymore and it was starting to cake over her little forepaws. Why was she so startled now? She had killed to eat before, why was it she felt so anxious and frightened with her clanmates seeing her like this? The winged feline let out another shaky breath with her back pressed against the wall, she could feel her whole body trembling. She supposed that it effected her now because of her relations with her new family, Pincher, Rosemary, Connor, and little Goldie. Oh god. What had she done? She felt like she wanted to vomit though she was already to shaken up to do anything else, her body schools with soft hiccups still not wanting to come out of the log. She didn't think anything would make her come out of the log but then again she felt like she had cornered herself making her a little irrational with her decisions. She eventually found herself growling at Caesar still charged by the fear that usually belonged to most cornered animals "F-fuck off, Caesar. . . You only c-care about your own s-sorry yellow ass. . ." She blurted out rather harshly yet upon hearing the next voice her hiccups only seemed to get worse.
It was Pincher.
She could almost feel her own heart getting stuck in her throat, her ears twitching at the sound of her heart racing. She almost wanted to tear at her own chest to stop the rapid beating since it didn't seem to calm her down at all, the winged feline sniffles hearing Pincher starting to talk to her but it almost felt as if his voice was echoing throughout her mind. She had wanted to come out of the log and hug him, cry into his chest only to tell him over and over again that she was so sorry yet her current thoughts didn't seem to help her. 'You really think he'll forgive after what you did? You're fucking pathetic, Roxanne.' Her thoughts hissed at her venomously with her paw barely reaching out and feeling the brief warmth of sunlight yet it was quickly redrawned back to her chest where she held it. She wanted to keep crying but the more and more she did the cries were slowly being replaced by frequent, soft hiccups. She wanted to tell him exactly what had happened but she was too afraid. Too afraid to think of what he thought of this. She feared possible abandonment and being shunned, kicked out of the only family she ever loved or felt loved in. "I didn't want to do it. . . I didn't. . ." She finally breathed out shakily still shivering, she felt so cold on the inside and she just wanted to go home. She just wanted to go to bed and hug Kalayavan, just pretend it never happened. She knew that it wouldn't be that easy. "I'm so sorry, P-Pincher. . . I'm s-sorry." There she went, blubbering out apologies and they didn't stop as they fell into soft whispers that the breeze picked up. That wasn't the only thing that it seemed to pick up, her senses were still decent and well, the smell of the next clanmate approached made her even more tense than what she had already been.
Greed.
Her claws dug into the sand underneath her biting her bottom lip as she finally breathed out "I w-wanna g-go home. . ." She could feel her sides heaving a bit trying her best not to hurl up what she had eaten. So many things that should stay in the body yet she felt sick to her stomach, she covered her mouth with her paw to stop only briefly calming down as she said a little bit louder "I. Wanna. Go. . . Home," She found her paws leading her to the opening of the log staring at those gathered there with her eyes puffy and tears still dripping off of her cheeks hitting the ground with quiet plops. Her body still shaking and her wings laying on the sandy beach with shame, she couldn't even bring herself to look Pinch directly in the eye much too ashamed of what she did. She knew that her pathetic apologies wouldn't fix it "I w-was hungry. . . I didn't m-mean to hurt anybody. . . Or let a-alone eat them. . . I c-couldn't think straight. . . I c-couldn't control my h-hunger. . ." She finally finished staring down at her paws with shame and self-disgust that she held towards herself, she wanted so much to be hugged or give a hug yet she feared that they would be scared of her because of what she did. "I k-know a shitty sorry isn't going to fix it e-either. . ." She had been nervously sheathing and unsheathing her pink claws not uttering another word not looking at anyone, she didn't even bother saying anything to Greed. She had ruined her own chance of having friends. She hated this, she hated herself.
"speech"
It was Pincher.
She could almost feel her own heart getting stuck in her throat, her ears twitching at the sound of her heart racing. She almost wanted to tear at her own chest to stop the rapid beating since it didn't seem to calm her down at all, the winged feline sniffles hearing Pincher starting to talk to her but it almost felt as if his voice was echoing throughout her mind. She had wanted to come out of the log and hug him, cry into his chest only to tell him over and over again that she was so sorry yet her current thoughts didn't seem to help her. 'You really think he'll forgive after what you did? You're fucking pathetic, Roxanne.' Her thoughts hissed at her venomously with her paw barely reaching out and feeling the brief warmth of sunlight yet it was quickly redrawned back to her chest where she held it. She wanted to keep crying but the more and more she did the cries were slowly being replaced by frequent, soft hiccups. She wanted to tell him exactly what had happened but she was too afraid. Too afraid to think of what he thought of this. She feared possible abandonment and being shunned, kicked out of the only family she ever loved or felt loved in. "I didn't want to do it. . . I didn't. . ." She finally breathed out shakily still shivering, she felt so cold on the inside and she just wanted to go home. She just wanted to go to bed and hug Kalayavan, just pretend it never happened. She knew that it wouldn't be that easy. "I'm so sorry, P-Pincher. . . I'm s-sorry." There she went, blubbering out apologies and they didn't stop as they fell into soft whispers that the breeze picked up. That wasn't the only thing that it seemed to pick up, her senses were still decent and well, the smell of the next clanmate approached made her even more tense than what she had already been.
Greed.
Her claws dug into the sand underneath her biting her bottom lip as she finally breathed out "I w-wanna g-go home. . ." She could feel her sides heaving a bit trying her best not to hurl up what she had eaten. So many things that should stay in the body yet she felt sick to her stomach, she covered her mouth with her paw to stop only briefly calming down as she said a little bit louder "I. Wanna. Go. . . Home," She found her paws leading her to the opening of the log staring at those gathered there with her eyes puffy and tears still dripping off of her cheeks hitting the ground with quiet plops. Her body still shaking and her wings laying on the sandy beach with shame, she couldn't even bring herself to look Pinch directly in the eye much too ashamed of what she did. She knew that her pathetic apologies wouldn't fix it "I w-was hungry. . . I didn't m-mean to hurt anybody. . . Or let a-alone eat them. . . I c-couldn't think straight. . . I c-couldn't control my h-hunger. . ." She finally finished staring down at her paws with shame and self-disgust that she held towards herself, she wanted so much to be hugged or give a hug yet she feared that they would be scared of her because of what she did. "I k-know a shitty sorry isn't going to fix it e-either. . ." She had been nervously sheathing and unsheathing her pink claws not uttering another word not looking at anyone, she didn't even bother saying anything to Greed. She had ruined her own chance of having friends. She hated this, she hated herself.
"speech"