06-27-2018, 04:11 PM
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[sup]c) miithers[/sup]
★ I NEVER HAD NOBODY TOUCH ME LIKE I’M G L A S S WITH A MOON BIRD KISS
Listen: Hazel had been through a lot.
Some might say hell, some might say life. But never had she gone through something quite so inexplicably difficult. The bond bridging her mind to Bastille’s was torturous. All she could feel from his end was the misery of what he’d done and that he needed to stop it but he didn’t know how. All day, it was just rolling confusion and indecision. It didn’t take a genius to see it, either; his alcohol intake had doubled and Hazel was sure that at some point she’d feel it.
She wanted to avoid him...wanted to avoid him and his goddamn coping methods. But there was something about that stupid bond that just tugged on her soul when he got close. It was infuriating, because she was positive that he could feel her reluctance at this situation, at her want to cut it off because of the emotions that would travel. The truly hurtful emotions that would change everything completely.
Like fear.
Because her fear of his drinking problem was beginning to be a very real thing, and she was desperate to keep it from him. But she was about to not have a choice — as soon as she felt the tug in her gut, her tired paws were trailing towards the group, weary and anxious. She could smell the wine; could smell the richness of it from a few yards away, and it brought back everything she was expecting: the cabinets, the broken glasses, the late nights, the bloody hands. Wine isn’t as strong, Mother said once. It’s healthy for you. All the adults drink it.
Hazel took a seat next to Suite, tucking her paws underneath herself and wrapping her tail tightly around the rest of her body, mourning the fact she couldn’t do the same with her brain and her emotions. Because the second her eyes fell on Bastille, a different sort of scene flashed behind her eyelids: a memory of the last time he’d been inebriated and she was close enough for him to reach out and take hold of her, acting like he’d never let go. Hazel couldn’t stop the fleeting shock of fear that coursed through her veins and thudded in her heart, knowing that this had all the right circumstances to let it happen again. It slipped her mind that the emotion would shoot across the invisible tether between them — so she swallowed and ignored it, deciding it would be better for everyone if she just kept her mouth shut.
Instead she focused on Aaliyah and Margy, forcing a bright smile when the infant bobcat launched herself at Margaery.
Some might say hell, some might say life. But never had she gone through something quite so inexplicably difficult. The bond bridging her mind to Bastille’s was torturous. All she could feel from his end was the misery of what he’d done and that he needed to stop it but he didn’t know how. All day, it was just rolling confusion and indecision. It didn’t take a genius to see it, either; his alcohol intake had doubled and Hazel was sure that at some point she’d feel it.
She wanted to avoid him...wanted to avoid him and his goddamn coping methods. But there was something about that stupid bond that just tugged on her soul when he got close. It was infuriating, because she was positive that he could feel her reluctance at this situation, at her want to cut it off because of the emotions that would travel. The truly hurtful emotions that would change everything completely.
Like fear.
Because her fear of his drinking problem was beginning to be a very real thing, and she was desperate to keep it from him. But she was about to not have a choice — as soon as she felt the tug in her gut, her tired paws were trailing towards the group, weary and anxious. She could smell the wine; could smell the richness of it from a few yards away, and it brought back everything she was expecting: the cabinets, the broken glasses, the late nights, the bloody hands. Wine isn’t as strong, Mother said once. It’s healthy for you. All the adults drink it.
Hazel took a seat next to Suite, tucking her paws underneath herself and wrapping her tail tightly around the rest of her body, mourning the fact she couldn’t do the same with her brain and her emotions. Because the second her eyes fell on Bastille, a different sort of scene flashed behind her eyelids: a memory of the last time he’d been inebriated and she was close enough for him to reach out and take hold of her, acting like he’d never let go. Hazel couldn’t stop the fleeting shock of fear that coursed through her veins and thudded in her heart, knowing that this had all the right circumstances to let it happen again. It slipped her mind that the emotion would shoot across the invisible tether between them — so she swallowed and ignored it, deciding it would be better for everyone if she just kept her mouth shut.
Instead she focused on Aaliyah and Margy, forcing a bright smile when the infant bobcat launched herself at Margaery.
★ — hazel — "speech" — eight months — the ascendants — tags — ★
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WITH EVERY HEARTBEAT I HAVE LEFT
i will defend your every breath; i'll do better