and pain is just a simple compromise ❁ birthing

[Suiteheart]

[align=center][div style=" background-color: transparent; border: 0px solid black; width: 530px; min-height: 9px; font-family:; line-height: 110%; text-align: justify; padding: 20px"]Suiteheart had felt true, undeniable agony once in her life. The first time Margaery had died, the white feline had almost gone with her. It had been before the bond - before being able to tell when her wife's soul was leaving only to return -, and that moment in time had almost completely ruined her. She swore she could feel the earth beneath her sway and open up, threatening to swallow her whole. Everything within her heart cracked and then shattered and then disintegrated. She had experienced death before and after that moment (deaths of those close to her heart), but nothing had compared to the moment of losing someone who meant more to you than the entire earth and all the stars combined.

She had felt something. She had been feeling someone for weeks now, but she refused to acknowledge it. She wanted it to be her anxieties, but she was not so lucky. She was never lucky. And today, when her worries exploded into her reality, the feeling hit her like a fucking truck. All at once, she felt herself slipping away. "Margaery?" The name dripped slowly from her lips, and the pain in her voice was powerful enough to bring the strongest to their knees. Her chest felt tight and her legs trembled.

Without needed further confirmation from the bond, she knew. God, she knew. Tears gathered in her eyes as she hurried for her wife. She knew what she would find, but she had to see for herself. She had to know. She was sobbing before she reached Margaery, and though her tears were blinding, she could easily make out the still form of her wife. "N-no, please...! Please don't leave me, Margaery! No-" Her words were full of anguish as she neared Margy's side. Suiteheart took hold of Margaery's paw as the chocolate point allowed for a ragged breath to escape her. The fire within Margaery's soul then flickered out, and Suiteheart's world completely shattered.

She searched.

She searched and searched for her wife's soul through the bond, but it wasn't there. It wasn't there. Suiteheart couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe... Her sobbing was loud and pained as she rested her head against Margaery's, begging for her to return. Suiteheart felt empty... so empty. "Come back. Come back. Please, come back. Don't leave me. Don't leave me again. I'm sorry." Her words were low, quick. She could not understand. Why now? Why this? Why did Margaery's immortal soul finally decide to give up?

Through sobs and shakes, she reached for Margaery's pendant, slipping it around her neck. It was still warm, and that fact made Suiteheart all the more tearful. Her eyes locked with the rose necklace she had given Margy all those years ago, and she decided to leave it so that Margaery might have a piece of Suite in the afterlife. As she did this, however, she noticed the note. Quickly, as if her life depended on it, she grabbed and read it. She had to keep starting over because of how blurry with tears her eyes were. Finally, she managed to finish it, but she didn't feel much better. Her chest felt like it was caving in, and her mind kept replaying the sound of Margaery's fading heartbeat. The only thing keeping her from completely destroying herself with grief were the four kittens.

There was a blue-silver tabby female. "Gale." A boy with black and white color markings. "Connor." Next, there was a pale blonde-colored girl. "Kara." And finally, another boy with white fur, much like her own. "Simon."

After she had named them, she slowly moved to lay beside Margaery. Her tears had not ceased, but she was silent. Dull azure eyes watched her children. She had so many reasons to continue living, but they were distant thoughts in her mind. The loudest screamed and screamed about Margaery's death.

The little leeches need a mother and as much as I know that you would prefer them to have two, you'll be all they have.

She closed her eyes as tears poured out. How was she supposed to do this? How could she do this?

Blinking them open, she pressed herself further into Margaery, absorbing any warmth her wife had left. 'I love you,' Suiteheart sent through the bond, but there was no one to hear her.