06-03-2018, 06:18 PM
"I don't hate you, I never could hate you. I hate the way you make me feel."
Atbash shook as she stared at Caesar, tears in her eyes. She blinked, trying to force the tears away, but they came right back, and Caesar had no reaction to them. Like always. But she knew he cared, she knew how much it hurt him internally to see her like this. So why does he act like everything's okay? She didn't understand. Nothing was okay. Nothing would ever be okay. "Do you know what it's like, Caesar? To be terrified all the time?" She knew he could hear the pain in her voice because she could hear it. Her throat was tight as she spoke, and she took a shaky step forward towards her brother. Caesar narrowed his eyes and stepped back as she did so, his ears starting to flatten. He didn't answer her.
It was true; she never could hate her brother. She loved him dearly and she missed him so much. But she hated how he made her feel: terrified, afraid of what he would do next. She was afraid he would turn tail and set this Dimension on fire, or kill or injure her to keep her silent, or hurt Vigenere, or hurt the members of Snowbound. She was afraid of how he would react to things, including her confronting him now. Caesar had always been harsh when it came to criticisms, but maybe he wouldn't do anything when it came from her; she knew that he liked her the most between her and Vigenere, so maybe things wouldn't be so bad.
"You're so reckless and confident and it kills me." Atbash went on after a couple of heartbeats, tilting her head to one side. Caesar wouldn't even look up at her now, and she knew that she was getting to him, and that even hurt her. She hated seeing him so upset, she hated him looking so defeated, but that was his fault. He'd always been this way, even before their family was exiled. Hell, the reason they got exiled in the first place was because of Caesar's recklessness and carelessness! And that still didn't stop him; in fact, it seemed to make it worse. To the point where he murdered the King in cold blood and set their home in flames, causing the Dimension to collapse in on itself.
"I don't think I can do this anymore." Atbash let out one last choked sentence, closing her eyes and letting the tears flow now. The she-cat briefly sat down for a couple of seconds, hanging her head as she cried. I really don't think I can. She wanted everything to be okay. She wanted everything to go back to normal, but it couldn't. There was no going back. Even with Caesar being so powerful, she knew - and he knew it, too - that he couldn't go back in time and changed what happened. The past happened and the past hurt, so much to the point where it was causing Atbash constant emotional pain. She wanted to go back to the way things were, when she and her two brothers were living happily with their parents and were care-free children. She wanted to feel her mother's breath on her as she sang them sleep, she wanted to feel the warmth her mother gave off at night. She wanted to feel her two brothers curled up beside her, snoring in their sleep. But none of that could come back.
Atbash heard Caesar move towards her, and she immediately got up and ran off, her eyes still closed. She could feel her younger brother's stare as she ran, but she choose to ignore it. She just wanted to get back to Snowbound and believe that everything was okay again. At least in Snowbound she didn't have to forcefully face her past.
//Prompt inspiration: http://unblockingwritersblock.tumblr.com...-they-said
Atbash shook as she stared at Caesar, tears in her eyes. She blinked, trying to force the tears away, but they came right back, and Caesar had no reaction to them. Like always. But she knew he cared, she knew how much it hurt him internally to see her like this. So why does he act like everything's okay? She didn't understand. Nothing was okay. Nothing would ever be okay. "Do you know what it's like, Caesar? To be terrified all the time?" She knew he could hear the pain in her voice because she could hear it. Her throat was tight as she spoke, and she took a shaky step forward towards her brother. Caesar narrowed his eyes and stepped back as she did so, his ears starting to flatten. He didn't answer her.
It was true; she never could hate her brother. She loved him dearly and she missed him so much. But she hated how he made her feel: terrified, afraid of what he would do next. She was afraid he would turn tail and set this Dimension on fire, or kill or injure her to keep her silent, or hurt Vigenere, or hurt the members of Snowbound. She was afraid of how he would react to things, including her confronting him now. Caesar had always been harsh when it came to criticisms, but maybe he wouldn't do anything when it came from her; she knew that he liked her the most between her and Vigenere, so maybe things wouldn't be so bad.
"You're so reckless and confident and it kills me." Atbash went on after a couple of heartbeats, tilting her head to one side. Caesar wouldn't even look up at her now, and she knew that she was getting to him, and that even hurt her. She hated seeing him so upset, she hated him looking so defeated, but that was his fault. He'd always been this way, even before their family was exiled. Hell, the reason they got exiled in the first place was because of Caesar's recklessness and carelessness! And that still didn't stop him; in fact, it seemed to make it worse. To the point where he murdered the King in cold blood and set their home in flames, causing the Dimension to collapse in on itself.
"I don't think I can do this anymore." Atbash let out one last choked sentence, closing her eyes and letting the tears flow now. The she-cat briefly sat down for a couple of seconds, hanging her head as she cried. I really don't think I can. She wanted everything to be okay. She wanted everything to go back to normal, but it couldn't. There was no going back. Even with Caesar being so powerful, she knew - and he knew it, too - that he couldn't go back in time and changed what happened. The past happened and the past hurt, so much to the point where it was causing Atbash constant emotional pain. She wanted to go back to the way things were, when she and her two brothers were living happily with their parents and were care-free children. She wanted to feel her mother's breath on her as she sang them sleep, she wanted to feel the warmth her mother gave off at night. She wanted to feel her two brothers curled up beside her, snoring in their sleep. But none of that could come back.
Atbash heard Caesar move towards her, and she immediately got up and ran off, her eyes still closed. She could feel her younger brother's stare as she ran, but she choose to ignore it. She just wanted to get back to Snowbound and believe that everything was okay again. At least in Snowbound she didn't have to forcefully face her past.
//Prompt inspiration: http://unblockingwritersblock.tumblr.com...-they-said
Profile art by @Reggan!
Discord: MysteriouslyMaple#1338
hee hoo
Discord: MysteriouslyMaple#1338
hee hoo