05-22-2018, 02:49 AM
SOMEBODY SHOWED YOU ALL OF THE HORROR-
YOU WEREN'T BORN WITH IT!
[div style="background-color:#BG COLOR;width:90%; overflow: stretch;text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt;"] AN: YES there is an an. This was a week in the making. The crux of my character development for argus. This was based off an ooc prompt but a long time in the making. I am so proud of lil gus. She has come so far. So for this. Whisper is in light blue text, and Argus is in the light red color that i used to use! Warnings of first person panic attacks and third person descriptions of panic attacks. Vague mentions of suicide and child neglect. THat's all!//
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Argus woke up on the edges of panic. The dark of the night seemed to curl around her, tendrils grasping ripping at her barely comprehensible fogged brain and filling her with images of the dream she could not remember. She grasped the furs under her paws. Deft calloused paws hardened by sands of the harshest climate avalable- nails sharpened shined- until the silver claws shined in the dim lighting- covered in blood as the images cast.
Quickly the furred rugs that rested on the western style bed in the office quarters were shredded. The mattress stuffing spilling out. The taste of blood coming from the back of her throat made it hard to keep herself silent. Spit bubbleing between her jaws as she spat into the corner of the sea den. Trying to breathe past the ash the smoke- dear gods the ship is burning
get out get out getoutgetout
The ship was on fire and it was her fault. Her home was burning and she was to blame. Argus has burned down her home in a fit of panic. She had to flee had to-
Just like riverclan. Just like Bloodclan.
r u n
Her wings sputtered. The limbs snapping in a violet flap. edges of her wingspan hitting the walls and making the small corner of her den shake where she was on the ship. A snarl of panic and in a flash of white- the small glass window of her room was shattered and the large wolf that was almost angelic on appearance, took oof like a bat out off hell. Slipping through the window uncaring to the small scratches she caused due to the remaining glass shards in the window.
-Quickly there was a spash. The water's churned in the night, and argus was inches away from succumbing to a watery grave. Wings snapping into the night. One giant ungraceful flap, silent feathers boisterous as the panicked Her left wing sore- the joint still healing would give out any minute. But argus' wings were built for power. One flap and she was zeroing on the island. More importantly- the entrance of the island.
Abandoned train tracks paved the trail inside the island. The edges of the jungle cut with the ancient twoleg train. It's form decayed and rusted, but still a train. Filled with carts that were familiar to bi-colored eyes. Argus had little clue to what color her eyes shined now. red, light blue, one blue one green, black - void - dead souless- . She crashed through the canopy. Tree's cushioning what could have been a lethal fall, and when she looked up she was reminded yet again. How ... homely this place really was.
The sands of the beach, the sea, the abandoned carts of the train.
These were the little reminders. Of a past argus had tried to abandon. of a history she tried not to show. She had wondered briefly before- how much anyone knew. How much someone could glance from the places she frequinted on the island just what kind of places she used to live. Raised in the desert. Broken in a subway station. Reforged within the sea.
it all ends in fire.
It all ends with me.
But now, there was only panic. Ghosts gripped her head. sending a telepathic wave of an agonized screech as images flickered. Contorted bodies falling into an abyssal hole. The firelight reflecting on the ruin out of the twoleg's grasp.
such a masochist the ghost chanted, quieter only for her. Why do you force yourself to remember? Why won'y you let yourself forget. Let yourself forget? Voices grinned cruelly. The reason she chose to remember taunting her.
The fire does not discriminate in her dream. It burns everything in her memories. Washes away the past guilt. Searing a memorable finial horah for a wolf who only wanted a family. The fire does not discriminate who it burns. It burns them all away too. Burns her. Burns
it burns it burns itburnsitburns
It's time to go.
Argus heaves her breath, her eyes closed in an valiant attempt to hide the tears- makethem s t o p. She does not notice the slip inside her mind. The missing whole in where- once her other's would joined in. Would push and prod would poke and unravel her. Control her. A puppet to her own mind-
A frighteningly small figure pushed against argus. Headbutting her chest and pushing through the crazed frenzied claws. Black blood coated the dirt, and a little girl, a lonely little wolf let the giant wintered beast cling and cry.
There was nothing sadder, then someone cheering themselves up. Was there?
Because no one else knows you better. The ghosts chorused But we know - oh we know. You'll never live free always under someone's thumb. Never free from guiltyou killed us
In the dark of the night. Whisper was a shade barely seen. Clear crystalline blue eyes closed as she breathed in the scent of blood, the earthy tint of the jungle. Of home on the other's pelt. She looked younger, she looked different. The exact opposite of argus. But they were the same. the same soul.
"It was just a dream Argus" The younger's voice was barely heard over the practiced ugly sound of the other's breaking. Argus' breathing coming out in gasps between choked lungfuls. " It's time for you to wake up. There is no fire, there is only you, there is only us."
Against argus she wasn't there. But she was all the same. She let herself be held. Wings curled around her- around them both. Argus voice was broken, ragged "Whi- isper." She hiccuped through her word. Stuttered it with awe and need. A vulnerability in the large wolf's voice. In her successor. In her hope. Broken down to the simple things.
cared too much. Just wanted a home, just wanted to fit in. Just wanted a family.
Come morning there would be questions. But the dawn was hours away, and for now she allowed herself to be held. Let herself linger in a world she has willingly left. Because the desert, was harsh, it was all the reminders of their lonely childhood. An empty vacant home that whisper left so abruptly.
But here in this embrace. She could stay for quite a while.