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cavalrychoir · 08-05-2019, 11:15 PM

[align=center][div style="border-width:0px; width: 60%; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 140%;word-spacing:-1px;"]Forty. Ren had lost count after forty sunrises.

Large grey and white paws were bleeding and leaving faint bloodied tracks with every step he took. Dark red eyes were glazed over and his maw was slightly parted, drinking in every scent around him in hopes of locating one in particular. One he dared not forget, nor think he could forget if he wanted to. Implanted deep within his subconscious, Ren knew he would be able to identify the scent as soon as it whisked past his nostrils. It'd coil around his frame and give him enough strength to continue on despite the many odds against him. An aroma so warm and welcoming, it turned even the most hardened warriors such as himself to a soft and molten puddle on the ground. He couldn't recall ever feeling this way about anyone else... He wouldn't dare call what he's feeling a crush either but for the sake of keeping things simple he suppose he'll settle on it. He knew better though. He's had crushes before- more than he can count if he was being honest. He fell for individuals very easily but they never lasted long enough for him to come to terms with the fact that it was possible to genuinely like someone. To be in a healthy relationship was unfathomable to the lynx and those around him making it hard to talk to anyone about the emotions that lingered in his heart. And how could a battle-hardened, bloodthirsty, merciless creature such as himself be capable of forming any sort of relationship that isn't toxic and controlling? The very idea of giving himself to someone and expect nothing in return was laughable to the young lynx who at the time looked at the world through the eyes of a killer. A murderer. A fool. Ren's had crushes but he's never been in love.

Until now of course.

Being in love was the most terrifying and wonderful feeling in the world. To want to be a better person for this individual and to be given the honour of cherishing her was unbelievably overwhelming. The stolen glances, careful touches and gentle purring drove him crazy but he knew better than to let himself get carried away. He couldn't allow himself to get carried away. What if he hurts her? What if he lets his true colours show through, the ones he's been trying to repress, and she starts to hate him? If anyone, not her. He didn't care if the entire world was against him, he didn't care if the Gods themselves smite him. If Delilah looked at him with beautiful magenta coloured eyes and told him she never wanted to see him again, he wouldn't know what to do with himself. He'd cry without a doubt, but what would he do after that? He couldn't cry forever. Beg for her forgiveness? He must have done something wrong for that to happen so he'd apologize over and over until his voice was hoarse and faint. In the end, he'd respect her wishes to be left alone and just as she asked, he would disappear, never to be seen again. Who could ever love such a monstrosity? Even Delilah, the most beautiful and caring person he's ever met could never harbour any romantic feelings for him. He doesn't blame her, though. It was painful, but just being by her side is enough for him. To be trusted enough to her to see her tears, hear her laughter and smell the familiar cherry blossom scent was a blessing in itself. He loved her. He loved everything about her but he knew she didn't feel the same. He'll continue to find his way back to her and will always protect her. No matter how long it takes, he'll always return to her. Always.

Ren had lost count after forty sunrises.

At times like this, he was thankful for being a demon. If he doesn't overexert himself, he didn't need to sleep and things like food and water weren't needed. However, to keep the muscle that rippled with every step toned and strong, he'd need food. With all the walking and running he's been doing, he was sure to lose weight if he skipped out on meals. He needed to be in top shape if he ever came across those bastards that took Delilah from him. The large wildcat knew he was more on the intimidating side and he would like to stay that way. It gave him extra leverage in situations that could turn out bloody. Why harm or kill another when a glare, snarl, growl, hiss or his very presence be enough to get his point across? He wasn't sure if he could handle killing or harming another without regressing back to his former self so until he was positive that won't happen, Ren refused to raise a paw in a hostile manner. As much as he wanted to hurt those individuals who kidnapped his love, he needed to remain calm... As much as a struggle that was. He needed to focus all his attention on finding her. Stopping in his tracks, he sat down for a moment to lick the blood from his pads. The familiar iron taste made his blood run cold and his long ears flatten against his skull. It tasted terrible and the memories associated with it came along with it. After a few licks he decided this torture wasn't worth it and conjured a napkin instead. Damping it with his saliva, he pressed it onto his paws and watched the paper greedily soak it up. When he finished tending to his paws, the demon continued walking. Every so often he would tap into his enhanced senses to try and find any clues that may signal where she is or the direction she headed.

[[ [member=1277]DELILAH.[/member] aaaaaa it's super not great yells softly ]]

~~DELILAH.~~ · 08-06-2019, 01:03 AM

Delilah Evergarden
tanglewood | 23 m/o | femme | dark faerie

//"it's not good" they claim. IT'S PERFECT, SUNSHINE.

It had been many sunrises, many painful moons, that Delilah had spent without her Knight by her side. Many more moons, blind to the worlds colors, unable to see the beauty in the world after her beloved Renegade lost her. She had returned, no longer kidnapped, safe in their original home.. It was odd, to feel 'safe' in any other place than Ren's arms. His soft embrace, his affectionate brushes against her soft pelt, it was all worth it.

Delilah was in love, but who could love a monster like her? So impure, destined to wreak havoc on the balance of the world's natural order. She had been through so much, and being alone.. It brought back bad feelings. Bad memories. These many moons alone had sent Delilah into a spiral of madness and agony, the pastel feline no longer a medic- no longer of use to her Clan. She couldn't fight, she couldn't.. Do anything other than teach the new generation.

She was a useless, disgusting dark faerie, and Delilah had come to terms with it by the 30th sunrise. Pain, suffering. She had grown whatever filthy drug-like plants, using it to cope with the pain she felt internally. Everyone worried- Leroy worried. Wormwood worried. Delilah found herself sleeping more often, her fur worn ragged and uncleaned unless Poetking came and groomed her himself. At this point, she felt like she was just a liability to everyone. The same old routine, the same old games..

Delilah was sick of it.

So she went for a walk.

Clouded, empty yet blind pastel pink eyes stayed downcast as Delilah dragged herself past the alligators that kept her company, pushing through a bush to escape the territory. To escape reality. Tears had long dried, many, many nights ago. The empty side of her bed, their bed. It felt bigger without her Ren there with her, shooing away her nightmares.

She missed him, she missed him, she missed him.

Trespasser incoming, on the left. Lilith's voice rang out in Delilah's head, the pastel feline tensing up as she crouched down onto the ground, her paws covering her head as Lilith rolled her eyes internally at how pitiful her host was being. This was why Lilith always fronted.. Delilah didn't have guts. She didn't have the ability to fight, she only knew how to protect those around her.

But she couldn't protect herself.

It was like a snap of fingers, that was how quickly Delilah lifted her head- when the smell of Renegadeanthem hit her nose, Delilah thought she was hallucinating again. She thought it was fake. Her mind was playing tricks on her- Ren was gone. He said he would come back- this had to be a joke, though- it'd been at least a month or two since she had seen him.. Maybe more? She lost count. She couldn't remember.

"..Renny?" Delilah's broken, barely used voice spoke up as she stayed crouched against the ground, the female's three legs flat against the dirt- she needed to stay calm.

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cavalrychoir · 08-16-2019, 10:52 PM

[align=center][div style="border-width:0px; width: 60%; text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 140%;word-spacing:-1px;"][[ ( / u\) <33333 ]]

The last thing Ren wanted or needed at the moment was to analyze every detail of his behaviour and how he processed situations. He didn't need his anxiety and paranoia to surface when he should be focusing on more important things. He didn't want to uncover more terrible things about himself but that's what happened when he was left alone. Without company, his mind would wander as intrusive thoughts lined up by the hundreds. Paired with self-doubt and self-loathing, he was a ticking time bomb when left to his own devices. He'd bottle every emotion, every feeling until he snapped in a fit of pure, seething and, unforgiving rage. Yet despite this he didn't trust himself to be alone with others. He's wild, untamed and, violent... Someone like him should be kept on a leash- chains, even. Uncomfortable ones that were a continuous reminder of the position he was in and how this was what he deserved. The memories of what he's done clung to his mind just as the chains do to his neck and ankles. Should the metaphorical chains manifest to physical ones, they won't be enough to hold the demon down. He was impossible to control and yet... And yet she makes it look so easy. Delilah was his sanity and his stability. She kept him grounded. She knew what to say when to say it. Her smile- so sweet and gentle but masked a hidden sadness Ren hadn't noticed before they shared their memories with each other. She's been through Hell and back yet she somehow manages to not only keep him under control but make his heart yearn for her. A specific kind of heartache the lynx was inexperienced with. It was an agonizing pain Ren wasn't sure he had the vocabulary to explain but at the same time, the pleasure that came with it was unparalleled. To have his breath stolen by a single glance, to have his heart swell with every smile and the butterflies that swarmed in his stomach when she laughed. The old Ren would have called anyone feeling this way pitiful and weak. A fool who doesn't know true happiness lies on the battlefield. The sheer excitement of creating a wound so severe, blood would splay out and create a shower only psychopaths would enjoy. Psychopaths and Ren. He really hasn't changed, has he?

He could try and fool himself into thinking he's doing his best to be a better person but has he really? What has he done? Sure, one could say not killing anyone would be a good start but even back at his tribe killing - though considered a fun sport - was only half of the story. If all they did was murder, their group wouldn't grow. They needed more members to remain strong and intimidating. You'd have to have a way with words. You'd have to know how to play into their hands but know when to turn the tides when they least expect it. You'd need to be tough and frightening. These skills Ren learned hasn't left him, nor has he forgotten about them. This is his default. This is who he is. Maybe he really can't change? Maybe this was just him trying to run away from his past? Maybe he was just using Delilah as an excuse to himself. "I love Delilah and I'm going to do everything I can to protect her... So I can't be a bad person, right?" he'd ask himself over and over like a broken record. Somewhere deep inside of him he knew this wasn't right. He knew he wasn't using her as an excuse and instead saw her as a source of strength. He knew what he felt was genuine and positive emotions- his heart told him so. His brain, however, said otherwise. "You haven't changed at all," it'd hiss. "You still want to fight, you miss the taste and feel of blood and you cling to Delilah because you know you have control over her. You know she can't fight back. You're simply taking advantage of her and those around you, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. This is what you were trained to do- no! Born to do! Bred to do! This is who you are." He hated how it sounded like him. He detests how he thought of a creature gargling around the blood that flowed and dripped from it's lips like a broken reservoir. Perhaps it was right- his brain he means. He still felt the need to take control- for individuals to answer to him. For them to acknowledge him and follow him and only him. He knew it was bad, he knew this isn't what he wanted to be but why was it so hard to turn the other cheek? Why did he still envision himself on a throne of bodies? What scared him even more is that it felt like him. The internal struggle of him wanting to change and thinking it's pointless raged inside him.

Delilah didn't need someone like him in her life. In fact, he wanted to protect her from people like him and yet, he couldn't see himself anywhere but her side. He constantly tormented himself by being around her but makes no advances to leave. Why hasn't she left him? Why does she always come back? Why gaze so admiringly at him? He was one of the people who hurt her. She didn't know this, but what if she did? Would she want nothing to do with him? She doesn't seem upset with those who did her harm in her past so would she forgive him? Would he be able to forgive himself? He had so many questions and no answers.

Ren wasn't paying attention to where he was going. The only thing on his mind was finding Delilah and holding her close to him. He wanted to feel and hear her heartbeat- he needed to know she was alive and well and if she wasn't... And if she wasn't? Ren hadn't crossed that bridge yet but he was positive he'd think of some sort of punishment for those who harmed her. He wouldn't get his paws bloodied in fear he may enjoy himself too much and revert back to his old habits but perhaps locking them away somewhere would be nice enough. He'd allow them to sit and think about what they've done and when enough time has gone past, maybe he'll let them go. He drank in all the scents around him as one large paw was placed in front of the other. After ten minutes, he felt his mouth grow parched and he closed it. His tongue felt rigid and devoid of moisture, like he was chewing on a rock coated in salt. Brows furrowed in irritation and short tail lashing behind him, the demon's ears twitched when he thought he heard rustling. Maybe it was a squirrel scampering about. Growling to himself, he decided now would be a good enough time to eat something. He needed to keep his strength up if he was going to continue his quest.

Licking his lips, the wildcat crouched down and crept forward. Thanks to his enhanced hearing, the rustling was much farther than predicted. Tense and powerful muscles rippled with every step as he stalked his prey for a good while. It wasn't until the rustling was very clear did he know it was right around the bush. He wasn't breathing. Dark red eyes were focused on the bush before him as long pointed eats were pressed against his skull. Just as he was about to pounce, he felt his body tense as a small familiar voice called out his name. Realizing he wasn't breathing, the demon sucked in a mouthful of air. Without skipping a beat, powerful hind legs propelled him over the bush and he landed next to her with a graceful thump. "De-" he started, but stopped halfway before collapsing and pressing his face to her shoulder. "I am- You are... okay. I am so glad you are okay." He gasped. He couldn't believe he'd found her... This had to be a dream. After so long- fuck he missed her so much. To be able to see her again... To be able to hear her again, it was almost unbearable. "I am so sorry... I should have woken up... I should have sensed something was wrong. I should have gotten to you faster. I should have-" he hadn't realized his eyes grew moist until he pulled away from her. Being without her felt suffocating and he hadn't noticed it until he was able to breath in the scent of cherry blossoms. Wait, wait- he was getting too caught up in the moment. He still wasn't sure if she was alright. "Delilah," he stared again, this time more of an edge to his deep voice. "Are you alright? They didn't hurt you, did they?" He felt too happy to go on a rampage but that didn't mean he won't.

~~DELILAH.~~ · 08-22-2019, 07:09 PM

Delilah Evergarden
tanglewood | 23 m/o | femme | dark faerie

It was an odd thing to Delilah; Love. A thing full of flaws, bound to have issues and disagreements. It wasn't perfect, and yet, she was scared of it. Scared of the endless possibilities that came with falling in love with someone who could possibly not love her back.

Maybe she was an obligation. Maybe she had forced the bond upon him.

Well, that was what she thought before his body touched hers, shooing away all of those bad thoughts and reconnecting the mental bond between the two. Strong emotions, stronger than before- Ren was worried about her, anxious, angry at the ones who captured her. She could understand.

It happened again- and Ren couldn't help her because they were asleep. Her kidnappers were skilled.

"Yes- Yes, I'm okay. I.. Well, I don't remember much of what happened, but when I woke up, I was covered in blood, and.. The slavers were all dead.. So I just followed the trail back to Tanglewood-" Delilah spoke slowly, eyes searching through nothingness as she pushed her body against Renegade's, her tail instinctively wrapping around his paw, pulling him closer so she could nuzzle her scarred head underneath Ren's own. "I'm okay, though.. Lilith protected me, supposedly. She's started to front more often.."

Delilah felt the familiar tug of warmth in her chest- he'd possibly feel the relief that flowed from her, but the deeper emotions, darker and depressing, the locked up anger that Lilith had a tight hold over. Her fur was a mess, unkept and ungroomed for weeks at a time, but being with her Renny made the weight in her chest disappear.

He was her soulmate. She believed that.

"I love you." Delilah breathed out, tears filling her eyes- the scene of her death replaying in her head, the very words she had spoken through telepathy to Ren. She couldn't contain them- not anymore. It was hard enough as it was for her to be far away from Ren, to not be able to smell him next to her every night, to not share the same home-

Home was lonely without Renegadeanthems. Ren made their home, well.. Homey.

"I love you so much. I can't live without you, I- I'm in love with you, Renny. You're my Home. And I'm so.. so homesick." Delilah spoke softly, ears flattening against her head as a loud purr rumbled in her throat, cheek nuzzling against Ren's own before she gently pushed her nose to the side of his face, her tongue sweeping over the side of his cheek in a quick kiss. "Won't you stay with me? Won't you stay by my side, Renny? Share a life with me.. Together?"

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