DO YOU UNDERSTAND | joining, open

[CAIROS]

chasing someone for centuries had come to be exhausting. it had become his purpose, his sole purpose, to locate husani, a lover whom he'd lost in the attempts to save him. as it seemed, perhaps cairos had also lost a part of himself as well. he had sacrificed everything for husani, he'd sacrificed his morals and perhaps even a fragment of his humanity. more than that, he'd sacrificed a normal, happy life. no, instead of growing old in egypt, he'd dug into research about cults and rituals that were capable of calling gods to the land before them. in doing so, he'd lost his mortality. he wouldn't die, he couldn't die, the power he'd absorbed made that impossible. from there, cairos had followed husani through the heavens themselves and then, to here. this realm that his feet now walked on, his arrival here was far later than husani's, although, he wasn't exactly sure where husani was. maybe, cairos' luck had struck him down again and he'd travelled to the wrong realm. now wouldn't that be a very cairos thing to happen.

although, maybe it was time he took a short break. he did, after all, have forever to find his lover. the paws of the whitened jaguar prodded carefully across the ground, the pads of his paws hardened centuries ago by the rough sands of the endless desert he'd once called home. the sun had disappeared since he'd entered the marsh just beyond the border, what had originally been warmth radiating down his spine was now a cold chill. alabaster paws were splashed with mud, and while most might be disgusted by such a sight or a feeling, he found it oddly fascinating. when was the last time he'd felt mud? it had to have been a while, a long while, perhaps. it was such a normal thing but with cairos so busy running through the heavens, he'd almost forgotten what things existed down on solid ground. such as mud. there was a moment where he stopped to gaze upon it, his paw lifting and his eyes squinting as a result. it had been far too long.

alas, there was still a short walk ahead of him if he were to reach his destination, and so, walk he did. it was when the strong scents of a variety of creatures wafted past his nostrils that he halted, the jaguar stopping at the border although, understandable, he refused to sit and wait. while he didn't mind a little mud on his paws, he was certain it wouldn't look very presentable on his rear. this place, tanglewood, as it was called. he'd had a gut feeling of all things to come here. intel gathering had come first, he'd learned more about this strange realm he'd been thrown into, and, in the meantime, an assortment of names had come to his attention. as it happened, tanglewood was among those, and, in response to that weird gut feeling. here he was.

a certain anxiousness had settled into his stomach, although it wasn't openly expressed, it was there, tucked away inside of him and reminding him of everything that could go wrong. maybe sekhmet would come out, maybe husani would be here but cairos wouldn't recognise him and would end up injuring him somehow. though perhaps these were thoughts that he should try and push aside for the moment. yes, he needed to focus more on how he was supposed to actually join this place. well, there was no real point in him shouting into an abyss, so, he'd wait, white tail swaying eerily behind him.

[Luciferr]

FENRISULFR

▼ — when the weak court death, they find it.

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perhaps not the most auspicious to first meet this one, nor the most relevant given who they were looking for - and if fenrisulfr knew about it, likely the wolf would have sought both Amun and Amunet out before approaching, alas he was unaware of any significance such a meeting might make - no, he only saw a white jaguar on the borderline, a stranger that lacked a clan scent - ah, new blood in the ranks perhaps?

Dark claws ate into the soggy undergrowth as all nine foot of War incarnate strode through the undergrowth with the expert grace of one who had since grown a costumed to the swamp and tangle of the lands he lived in - silver-blue mercurial eyes studied the stranger as he approached, the slight magma like glow between his plates casting a slight light against the dark shadows prevalent in the territory.

He stopped short of him and inclined his head "your name and your purpose on our borders if you would?" the same run of the mill questioning asked of all strangers - Hm, but this ones aura was odd and quite old to his senses.

Perhaps there was some similarity to himself, Amun and Amunet? Hm.

/rushed bc I gtg to bed sorry ;-;

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▲ — MALE. TANGLEWOOD. VERY HARD. REF. BIO. — ▲

#psychosocial.

[CAIROS]

the jaguar's head tipped curiously towards the sound of a creature approaching. judging by the sound alone they were large in size, far larger than himself. his hazel hues flickered momentarily before they fixated on the hellhound looking creature that had come to greet him. was this the sort of creature that lived here? were there more of its kind or was everyone different? until another approached, he would be unable to decipher this fact, and, in the hopes of keeping himself unsurprised, he would simply expect another one. this way, should anything else approach he would be underwhelmed almost instantaneously. though what was shocking aside from the physical appearance of the creature, was rather the aura he got from him. it felt familiar though it was in a way that he was incapable of pinpointing. a part of him wondered if this was, perhaps, husani. that thought was quickly cut short, they'd been apart for a long time, but surely he had not changed this drastically.

the soft lights from the creatures pelts cast a glow that brightened up his surroundings in a way that made it so that cairos' gaze had to readjust itself. alabaster features seemed to be blonder in the light, the beige marking barely standing out against the colour created by the magma like glow. if cairos were to see magma fresh from a volcano, he imagined it would look something like that. it was mesmerising, for a moment, cairos almost didn't hear the creature speak to him. his mind focused solely on the orange glow that arose from the hellhounds insides. it was only when it spoke that his eyes ripped away from the glow and instead fixated on its eyes. "cairos," he was still distracted enough that his egyptian accent seeped through far more than he would've liked.

"i also go by kai, i'm here to inquire about an old... friend, and join, perhaps." it was unlikely that amun would recognise cairos, and he doubted he'd even remember his original name, although, he'd come this far, so, it was worth the chance. despite it being added as an afterthought, he did wish to join, even if it was only for a temporary amount of time, he would have a home once more. "husani, have you heard of him? is he here?" there was desperation hidden badly behind his tone, he was used to coming up with a lack of results, but by the gods themselves, he wished that he was here. he wished that this futile search could be over and they could be back together. perhaps, he'd find his peace here.

[vellichor]

Everything was so new that sometimes it was all too overwhelming. He'd been in Amunet's mind for so long, he'd nearly forgotten what it was like to have a physical form. There were things he liked about it, like feeling wind against his fur and being able to tend to his beloved rocks and plants. But there were other, less favorable things about the new form, such as when there were terrible smells or when he twisted his paw while walking or when he had to talk to someone he might not really want to speak with. He'd also caught himself speaking out loud on occasion when he meant to only think what he was saying. He'd started carrying a bag with him at all times, which contained items of interest. Usually this was just an odd colored rock or a plant he'd never seen before but other times he'd find odd, discarded objects or mutated animals. He didn't like carrying the odd prey around for too long, the body would get blood all over his bag, though he did drag them back and ask Amunet about them, which she didn't seem to appreciate but she never really complained about it.

He'd started getting the letters again. It happened every single time he had a physical form. He did his best to throw them away and forget about them but they stuck around. So, today, he'd stuffed them all in the bottom of his bag and placed his rocks and plants over them, hoping they'd be torn to shreds or stained beyond recognition by the end of the day. He was sure he wasn't so lucky but he could only hope. He was just thankful Amunet hadn't noticed them yet (or, if she had, she hadn't brought it up to him). While most of them contained sweet words meant for lovers or desperate pleas for some sort of luck in love, some of them were horribly vulgar and Amun could barely look at them without feeling uncomfortable. He wasn't sure why they appeared or where they came from but he wished that less people like him. Then one of them appeared. It floated gently from above and the man let out a huff, quickly swiping it up with his paw and shoving it into his bag as aggressively as he could.

Thankfully, he was soon distracted from his annoyance by two voices, one of which he recognized and one that he didn't. Amun came beside Fenrisulfer, who he'd met just days ago when he first separated from his dear sister. "Hello Cairos," he greeted simply, the way Amunet had taught him with a light nod towards the stranger. "I can't say I've heard of anyone named Husani, although I've only been... around for a few days now." He did have to admit the name sounded familiar but, then again, he'd grown up in Egypt. "That is an Egyptian name, yes? My sister and I are the only ones to be from... that area." Was he even from Egypt? He wasn't exactly sure but he knew that was where most of the gods he was familiar with resided so he supposed it was appropriate enough. 

★ a new wind blows and soon it will be spring━

[CAIROS]

that gut feeling, the one that had dragged him all the way here despite the possibilities of it being nothing, it rose again. it came almost like a sickness, a hot flush across his body, a churning in his stomach, a feeling that even after centuries he was still incapable of expressing. for a moment, he was incapable of pinpointing why the feeling had arisen, hazel eyes flicking dramatically about the area, his heart rate spiking until he could hear it pounding in his ears. it was a daunting feeling, as though something was coming, as though at any moment he would face death or some other extravagant event, and yet, he was simply greeted with the appearance of another jaguar. this one, funnily enough, contrasted cairos' appearance with his stunning ebony coat, a small part of cairos grew intrigued by the other's appearance. it was when his eyes fell upon the jaguars necklace that he grew cold. the shen. his eyes widened in momentary recognition before it was shaken away, no, no he couldn't get his hopes up after all these years over a necklace. but then he spoke. there was a flutter in his stomach, one that had been lost for so, so long, an anxious skip in the beat of his heart.

it was him. husani, this was husani. the necklace had triggered something in his mind, a vague scratch at his memory, but his voice. it had changed, just a little, it sounded sweeter than he remembered, more uncertain, but he loved it just as he had in the past. there was a moment of nostalgia, a brief image flickering across the back of cairos' eyelids, it was husani, a bright grin slung across his maw, and his laugh. oh, how he longed to hear him laugh again. he'd been worried, he'd been so worried that once he actually found husani that cairos wouldn't recognise him. that he'd walk straight past the man he'd sacrificed everything for like he was just some guy he'd momentarily cross paths with on the street. for this one, blissful moment, he forgot. he forgot what it had meant for husani to be saved, he forgot that husani would not know of him, or his past. unshed tears had gathered in his eyes, his body frozen and unsure of what to do, did he hug him? embrace him in his arms just as he'd been longing to do for all these years? or would they go through that awkward middle stage that sometimes happened when you hadn't seen someone for a while?

of course, those thoughts, those hopeful thoughts, they were quickly reduced to nothing. cairos' mind snapping back to the present. he hadn't heard of anyone called husani? "no," the words were whispered, cairos' posture slumping as realisation washed over him. he didn't remember. no but, surely, surely some part of him recognised his name, recognised cairos' name. he had to. he had to remember because cairos wasn't sure what he'd do if he truly couldn't. to know that he'd risked and lost everything for someone who couldn't even recognise his name anymore... it was gut-wrenching. he felt like screaming. like cursing the heavens and dragging them down to the earth for torturing him like this, for finally allowing him to reach the love of his life only for him to be forgotten. if he could die, he would've died of heartbreak in that very moment, the way his chest ached, it felt as if his heart was ripped in half. this pain, it was something new. even when he'd first lost husani it hadn't been that bad, for he'd held hope, he'd clung to childish visions of their romantic reunion. a warm embrace, a kiss, husani's laugh would ring in his ears and cairos wouldn't be able to wipe the smile from his maw, and they would never leave each other's sides again.

instead, it simply entailed this pain. this incomprehensible ache in his chest. he felt winded, or maybe it was better to say he felt as though he were drowning, gasping for air and reaching for the surface, and for a moment, for a small moment he'd had hope, he was getting closer and closer, but then, he was thrown back into the deep again, the hope ripped from his heart. "please," it was a desperate plea that only he understood, the context forgotten in his desperation. "husani, your name is husani, it's cairos, please remember me, please." it was pitiful, but, he was in love, and that was all the reason he needed to be this way. egypt. did he remember egypt? "we lived in egypt together, remember? you got sick and things went bad but i-i've found you, finally, i've found you... please." he sounded like a madman, rambling on and on, but what more could he do?

this world, this life, it was cruel.

[vellichor]

Amun noticed the tears gathering in the other man's eyes and glanced towards Fenrisulfer, clearly unsure of how to handle the situation. He'd only really dealt with Amunet's emotions and he didn't even know how to go about comforting someone he didn't know. He wished his sister was here, he was sure she'd know what to do. She understood emotion so much better than he did. Why was this man crying? Well, even Amun could answer that question. It was because they'd just told him there wasn't anyone here named Husani. He'd probably come a long way to look for someone who wasn't even here. "I'm very sorry, perhaps we could help you look," he finally said. He wasn't sure if he sounded genuine in his offer but he did want to help. Even for all the confusion this world brought him since his separation from Amunet, he never intended to cause anyone any sort of distress. His entire purpose was the opposite of that. He was supposed to listen and to give Amunet a shoulder to cry on. Understanding wasn't necessary for that, although he knew his sister grew frustrated sometimes with his confusion. He couldn't help the fact he'd been restricted to existing in her mind until this moment, though. She was the one who decided to keep him from the rest of the world. He hadn't thought much of it until he arrived here and realized how much there was that made no sense to him.

Amunet understood his confusion, though. She knew why he didn't always offer the best advice, why he questioned the importance of other people when they always had each other. What else mattered? But a stranger wouldn't understand that, wouldn't understand him. Then came his words. He heard the soft 'no' and tried to think of something comforting to say. "I'm sure-" he began but soon fell silent when Cairos began to plead with him, insisting that he was the man named Husani. Amun wanted to correct him, tell him his name but he hesitated. He wasn't sure why. He knew he didn't recognize the names Cairos or Husani yet he found himself hesitant to say he wasn't the man Cairos wished him to be. His heart began to race and his entire body was tense as he took shivering breaths. What was happening to him? He hadn't had a physical form in so long, he wasn't sure why his body was reacting to his mind. Shouldn't they be separate? Then the man continued on to say that they'd lived in Egypt together but he knew he didn't remember living with anyone other than Amunet. You got sick. Those words struck him. While he had no real memories of being sick, he could remember the terrors and visions that came to him, even when he was still in Amunet's mind. That was why he was always so neat and clean. He knew that, as a god, he couldn't get sick but the thought of it terrified him because of the many visions of laying in a bed, hot, sweating, and gasping for air and choking out blood.

When Cairos finished what he had to say, Amun was quiet, staring at the stranger in desperation. He wish he could remember whatever he spoke about. "I was sick?" He murmured the words. He'd had other visions too, more pleasant ones. Ones where he woke up in the morning and walked out of a quaint little home to see Ra's power just starting to shine over endless dunes. He had no real memories of the outdoors when he had been in Egypy, he wasn't even sure if that's really where and Amunet had spent their childhood, but he'd dreamed of the stone monuments and shifting sands. Sometimes there was another person present, coming beside him. He'd always assumed that person was Amunet but what if it'd all been wrong?

Stranger things had happened to other gods but the idea that he had an entire life, an entire identity, that he knew nothing about was difficult to wrap his mind around. "I don't understand. The words were flat and filled with confusion. "Amunet told me I couldn't get sick. I've had nightmares and visions but she said I didn't have anything to worry about. She promised me I couldn't get sick," he added, his voice growing hoarse. His ears were pressed against his head. The mere idea of being sick was enough to send his broken mind spiraling back to the horrible visions of coughing up blood, gasping for air, the pains in his chest and his mind too much to bear that he wished he'd just die. But that was all just a dream. He woke up later on or his spirit drifted off to the peaceful dunes and it was all over. It'd never really happened. "My name is Amun." The words weren't poised as a threat or even a contradiction. His voice didn't hold an edge or any sort of weight. If anything, it almost seemed to be a question. He just wanted to understand all that was before him. If this was all true, though, wouldn't his sister know? She knew everything about him, surely she'd be able to detect any weaknesses or inconsistencies in his spirit. What reason would she have to hide that from him?

★ a new wind blows and soon it will be spring━

[Belladonna]

[align=center][div style="width: 450px;; text-align: justify"][size=8pt]In another space-time, Belladonna would have been able to sympathize. Instead she peered upon the scene with intrigue, but a lot of confusion and concern. She considered standing by her clanmate's side, but instead she stepped forward to Cairos. She wasn't sure if it would help, but she had to try.

Stepping forward and offering a warm smile to Cairos, she mewed, "This must be really overwhelming, for everyone," she started, glancing back to the two siblings as well, before adding, "Perhaps we can all sit down and discuss this over a cup of tea? I'm sure there's been some misunderstanding here."

"Speech."

[CAIROS]

there were words of reassurance at first. he'd help him find husani, it was as if the world was trying to tease him, like waving a bone in front of a dog with no intention of passing it over. cruelty in its plainest form. as each moment passed the desperation clinging to him only seemed to worsen, the tears, rather than dry up began to shed, the jaguar so caught up in his emotions that he hardly even noticed. though maybe he should've. his sight was beginning to wave and blur, the tears forming a protective barrier across his eyes, maybe, maybe if he couldn't see him properly it wouldn't hurt so much? though that was only wishful thinking. it still hurt, actually, it only seemed to get worse. his mind was beginning to spiral, plummet, all the ifs and buts of the situation ramming against the walls of his head like a racket. he wanted it to stop. he wanted everything stop. though it was then that it happened. a spark that pulled him upward just a little bit, that offered him the chance to see the light in the distance. there was hesitation. hesitation meant doubt and doubt meant, well, it meant something. it meant that there was something deep inside of amun that was scratching at a wall in his memory, begging it to come down and let the memories free. that hesitation, cairos clung to that, his breath hitching in his throat. cairos couldn't let this go, no, all he had to do was build on that doubt and maybe, maybe he could get somewhere.

"yes!" his vision was slowly beginning to clear once more, though the desperate whine in his voice hadn't left. he needed this, he needed to convince amun to believe him. how? how did you tell someone about their past when they had no idea it existed? it sounded impossible but impossible, that wasn't an option right now. all those centuries ago, he'd believed that saving husani would be impossible and yet, here he stood. it wasn't all of him, it wasn't all the parts of him that cairos had loved, still loved, but it was something. "you were," it was a rushed response, one that was barely thought out but, boy, was it filled with hope. hope that maybe, just maybe he could dig at the wall in amun's mind, that maybe he could tear him free of his fabricated memories and the lies of his existence. he could save him once more. at least, he hoped so. as much as hated the gods, hated everyone that played any sort of hand in this, he found himself praying. to who? he wasn't sure, but he was. he was praying for husani to recognise him, to recognise something. whether it was the spark of an old memory, his name, how he had become what he now was, he didn't care what it was, as long as it was something.

cairos found himself shaking his head wildly, had he been in any rational state of mind he would've questioned who amunet was, perhaps he would've even tried to go after her. afterall, it seemed she was the culprit of this. this false identity and these fake beliefs of being incapable of becoming sick. if she cared for amun, she would have told him the truth, she would have told him everything. yet, he'd been hidden away, kept from secrets of his own existence, it was wrong, but kai would argue that later. "you can, you did! i- you can't get sick now because of what you are, what you've become but, husani, you weren't... this isn't who you were. you were sick, so so sick, and i asked for help i-" he paused, what had he done? there was a blank in his memory there, one that confused him and made his mind reel for a moment. he'd sworn that something big had happened and yet, no, that didn't matter right now. the jaguar stepped forward a little, his confidence shaky but present. "i helped make you into this to try and save your life, i-i'm sorry husani, i'm sorry i didn't find you sooner." the tears had begun to well up again and he wished he could just lock amun in an embrace and yet, he couldn't.

silence fell over the jaguar at belladonna's words, the despaired expression on his face only seems to deepen. he didn't know what tea was and frankly, he didn't want any. it was of no fault of hers, but the emotions inside him were strong and had been repressed for so long, it was like a bomb had gone off, and as it appeared, it had left only distraught in its wake. "no, please, this isn't a misunderstanding, he needs to know, he needs to remember! please."

[COSMIIX]

[align=center][align=center]

a

[div style="text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 30px; font-family: GEORGIA; color: #34495E; text-align: left; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 95%; width: 420px"]amunet ghana

✩[b] - No one can rewrite the stars, how can you say you'll be mine?

[div style="height: 300px; width: 350px; padding: 0px; font-family: arial; color: #292421; font-size: 10px; line-height: 100%; text-align: justify;"]Why was that pale jaguar getting so close to her brother? The dragoness walked over taking a stand near Fenrisulfr to spectate the interaction briefly through narrowed pupils before she would stand next to Amun her eyes cold as she stared down at Cairos [b]"He isn't Husani. . . He's Amun. If you seek this Husani individual, I can assist in searching for them." She would know of all people, Amun had been there for her at a young age and she knew him the best besides, she was certain that Amun would've told her if his name was truly Husani when she had asked them all those decades ago. The spikes along her neck and down her spine would angle in a tense manner, her eyes still not moving from the now sobbing jaguar and it made her want to question him. Why was he doing this? Her eyes widened for a moment before her pupils narrowed into dangerous slits, she would slowly take a few steps back until she was near Belladonna and Fenris unable to stop the boiling heat that she could feel in her chest. She wanted to call the stranger a liar yet she felt like her lips were sealed and she was unable to speak. [i]'What if Amun believes him?' Was the only thought that seemed to cross her mind at the time, her obvious frustration radiating off of her only to realize that Cairos had already asked to join Tanglewood.

What was this madman talking about? That wasn't Amun but Husani? She listened intently feeling as if Cairos was spitting in her face and calling her a liar. It made her even angrier as she grew even more tense beside Fenris and Belladonna unable to remove her burning gaze from the two, she could feel flames starting to lap at her throat and roof of her mouth as if trying to pry her jaws open to be set free. She swallowed taking a deep breath and introduced herself trying her best to stay calm "I am Amunet. Amun's sister,"

[color=transparent]thes code

[Luciferr]

FENRISULFR

▼ — when the weak court death, they find it.

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whilst he was not of their pantheon, he did carry the same spark and godly aura - to which cairos' questions He would've replied but it seemed things had suddenly gotten out of hand and now amunet was tense - he couldn't blame her on that, a stranger claiming to know amun? making assumptions that could be true - considering reincarnations and the like, the war deity never put it far from being impossible - but he could see how this would affect here after all.

if it were him and someone was saying his sister or his brother weren't who they thought, that they knew them - why he'd be overprotective and likely not like the implications that meant for the sibling bond.

still War steps forth to stand between the two - he'd seen amun shoot him that glance, the leopard didn't seem to know what to do here - and so it seemed perhaps diffusing the situation would be best.

"Clearly there is more at work here, whether these claims are true or not, still perhaps we should all talk this out later with all the facts on the table - and likely when we've all had time to get more level heads" Cairos' desperation and lijely what was a bombshell dropped on the pale leopard wasn't helping with amun's confusion and amunet's growing tenseness - this would all be better talked out when they had time to settle - and likely when they had time to reassure each other that whatever the outcome of this, nothing would change in regard to certain familial connections - his eyes glanced between amunet and amun at the thought.

"and perhaps not the best conversation to have on the border" given who knew who could be around and with the war between them and typhoon, well, who knew if they had spies scouting the borders.

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▲ — MALE. TANGLEWOOD. VERY HARD. REF. BIO. — ▲

#psychosocial.