FASTER THAN A HAIRPIN TRIGGER // MOON

[GABRIEL]

[align=center][div style="width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-size: 9.4pt; line-height: 1.4;"]// [member=1549]moonmade[/member]

He was crawling by now.

It wasn't that the punctures made by the tiger in his leg were the sole cause. His muscles were not working, seizing and quaking, and there were only so many times he could fall before standing up drained too much. So he crawled, talons gouging the earth while he swam in and out of different worlds. He was stumbling down the tunnel- no, dragged by an invisible force, pulsating tendrils of black ink reaching for him from the other side. Then he was standing over a body, blood on his tongue and a cramping ache of hunger wringing his insides. And he was back to dirt and grass and crimson-stained cheeks beneath burning eyes. He didn't know how long he had been at this, how much time had passed since he wanted to fall at Har's paws and apologize for a million things the boy wasn't even involved in.

Ragged breathing couldn't drown out the ringing, and he only realized he had bumped into a log when he found he couldn't continue crawling. There was...something familiar about this log. There was a mouse. Mud. Laughter. It felt like a lifetime ago, with another Gabriel, another Moon.

The hybrid dropped his head into the ground, and sticky wetness tore from his eyes again, marking new red trails down his face. He wanted to sleep, but the shadows beckoned, and he hungered viscerally for so much more than he could understand.

"Luna. Ayúdame," he rasped brokenly into the soil, eyes rolling back as he teetered in that tunnel again, the shroud distended darkness.
[align=right][i]——INFO

[MOONMADE]

[size=9pt]/ you want me dead

Moon's taken to walking through the woods. He tells himself it's because it's near the border-- he's keeping an eye out; making sure no one that's not supposed to be there wanders in. But the reality was far more pathetic, and, frankly, Moon was still in denial of the fact that he came here to calm down. When his muscles started to tremble under his skin and his heart climbed up his throat and sat on his tongue and he needed silence, he came to the trees. It helped, being here. Forests just had that way about them.

Today was different, though. It wasn't working. When he found Gabriel in a heaping pile, his breathing was still shallow and his chest still thundering, and he was in no state to help. "Jesus," He coughs instead, a wet, almost frantic laugh coating his words as he rushes to the hybrid's side, shaking his head desperately. The log. What a sick joke. "Fuck. Fuck." He says, sounding fragile and vulnerable like he never has before as he hovers for a second, trying to get his brain to work so he could do something. He lifts a paw to Gabriel's neck, holds it there as his own pulse hammers and waits to see if Feathers still has his. For a moment, there's nothing there, and his mind starts to supply him with the various ways he could go about ridding himself of his own mortality and following the hybrid up those lovely, heavenly stairs. He could down some deathberries. He'd get to see Marg. But then there's the slightest of throbs against his paw pad and he exhales, fast and rough like he's gotten the air kicked out of him.

"Gabe," He begs, attempting to roll the hybrid to face him, words no less frenzied as they were before. "What the hell did you do? What the fuck happened?" He says, and starts to shake him, an almost aggressive effort to get him to come to. "Gabe, open your fucking eyes, you asshole. You don't get to leave, too, okay? I can't cope in this shithole alone."

[GABRIEL]

[align=center][div style="width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-size: 9.4pt; line-height: 1.4;"]//uh no of course not

If Gabe could read minds, and if he were conscious enough for it, he'd kick Moon's ass for even considering deathberries. Not because he'd hit a low point -Gabe fell into a rut a few times, had given his life over to a group of eggheads because he couldn't see anything else for himself- but because that didn't come out of nowhere. Communication was everything, and so for that, he'd kick his own ass, too. He should be trying harder, working more to ease some of the strain off Moon's shoulders, both because it was his job to handle some things and because he cared. Maybe someone would say he cared too much, and Gabe might even agree with that. He wouldn't agree that it wasn't worth it. He was burning out again and he knew it, selling bits of himself for fuel, but he couldn't leave Laz, couldn't leave Moon, couldn't leave any of these kids when he could still breathe.

It was a stray thought that tucked in when his paws were skidding over cold stone, closer and closer to the pulsating shadows. And then he heard his name.

Dark eyes shot open, tugging at the blood that had crusted around, and it took him a moment to focus on the blurry shape above him. Moon? "Luz de mi vida," he muttered, voice scraped raw, but there was a bit of spark in his obsidian stare, and the huff of breath was something like a laugh. Fuck, his head hurt still, though not as bad as it had been before, ebbing enough that he could feel his other aches and pains. It didn't matter. He'd made it back, and here was Moon, somewhat healthy.

"Went to...check on Har. He's okay." The hybrid didn't even bother trying to get up, knowing he'd just fall over, and it wasn't...terrible, being like this. Not as bad as it would be if it were someone he didn't trust. "Leader's still crazy." A sudden burst of alarm broke through the fog, and he flailed a bit, pitifully. "She said...two of her people were murdered. One of them died after they got there, said-" Gabe shook his head, fighting off the vertigo. "Said it was you. Bullshit, I know." He coughed, body shuddering, and the muscles around his eyes tightened. "Doesn't make sense."

[align=right][i]——INFO

[MOONMADE]

[size=9pt]Luz de mi vida, Moon hears, and maybe, under other circumstances, ones in which he knew Spanish and Gabe didn't have blood crusting in his eyes, he'd outright laugh and not let the hybrid live it down. Instead, though, he heaves shallow breathes in an effort to get a fucking grip and pours his old Cleric bag out on the ground beside them. His paws aren't shaking when he roots through the old woven sachets and containers, but it's a close thing. Under his breath spills trembling words-- something along the lines of 'crazy Spanish old man' and 'scaring the fuck out of me--'.

His head snaps up at Gabriel's words. Har. "You--" He says, and then stops when something washes over him and takes away his voice. He'd gone to Sunhaven. To make sure Harland was okay. Of course he had. Because it wouldn't be like Gabe to not. "They did this to you?" He manages, when he finds it in himself to piece words together again, and the debilitating feeling of 'I'm so fucking grateful it hurts' ebbs enough for him not to feel so choked up anymore. What replaces it is fury.

"I'll fucking kill them." He says. It's the silent type of anger- the cold, immediate type. A glance into who he once might of been, maybe. And the moment lasts, with the old glass bottle of poppy seeds held so tightly in his grip it's a miracle it doesn't shatter into smithereens, until Gabe croaks his next words.

They thought he killed something. Because this whole thing wasn't already the most colossal clusterfuck of miscommunication the world had ever seen, already. No-- they had to make it that much worse. Moon's face falls blank, and he falls back on his haunches like the weight of the world has just nestled itself into the crook of his neck and now sits, heavy, dragging him into the dirt with Gabe. He takes a moment where he drags his paw down his face, claws unsheathed just enough so they latch against his skin, give him something else to focus on than the fact that the whole goddamn Universe had lost its fucking mind. After what feels like a long time, he speaks, voice muffled by his paw. "Doesn't fucking matter." He says, and with the words comes a realization-- that's just it. It doesn't matter. Nothing fucking matters. "Let them think what they want. Who cares? Who cares? The World's gone fucking mad." He fumbles violently with the lids of the bottle, pours some concoction of pain killers and other seeds he knows won't kill Gabe with frenzied paws. "What the fuck are they good for, anyway? Trading? No one even buys their shit. It's bad fucking customer service." Words spill from his mouth, bordering on frantic, and he takes Gabe's paw roughly and pushes the medicine into his hold. "All that matters is that we get Har back, and that this place doesn't burn to the ground, and that I don't completely fucking lose it--"

Mid-sentence, he finally looks the hybrid in the eye, and stops. The blood. He freezes, voicing losing all of it's bitterness and tremor, and he stares 'till his face shifts and frowns and his lips pull down. "Gabe," He says, as memories suddenly flood in of the state the hybrid's been in for the past- How long? With his stumbling steps and regular disappearance. How the hell has he not realized until now? "What the hell is going on with you?"

[GABRIEL]

[align=center][div style="width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-size: 9.4pt; line-height: 1.4;"]//how this got so long idk man

He idly figured he should teach Moon a bit. Not enough to know when he and Laz were talking shit -when did they ever- but so he would at least differentiate the word for moon from the French version. Then maybe give him enough of a start to figure out what he meant when he said, "luz de mi vida." A couple swears, maybe? Kid was already creative enough in English- Gabe figured with the right tools he'd take off the same way. Admirable imagination, though calling him "old man" could use some work. Gabe wasn't old. He was refined. Maybe. He felt old, with his eyes crusted and Moon hovering over him like he was a couple steps from kicking the bucket. Was he?

"Not...all of it." Just the leg. The bleeding, the headache, the vertigo, the exhaustion- going there had brought all of it down on his head. Was it the journey there that convinced his body to throw up every kind of shitty experience possible? Worth it, though, for the bit of relief he could make out in Moon's face. Har was just a kind, and despite his earlier, vehement thoughts, he was old. Older than most of them, anyway. What was a bit more wear and tear to a lifetime of it? Not the last straw.

Felt like it, though.

Gabriel shuddered, cold chills up his spine, and he attempted to glance around them, looking for the source of his sudden discomfort, the kind that told him he was being watched. He couldn't see anyone else. "Moon, I chose to go." He exhaled, fighting the temptation to close his eyes and just sleep. Moon wouldn't allow it anyway. "Expected worse, honestly." Not the best thing to say, was it? A bit late for that now, but he meant that he was lucky, because he was. In shitty condition, though better than dead. Gabe managed to make it back, hadn't he? That had to mean something.

He couldn't help but think he could've done more, though, especially with how Moon's features went flat, betraying nothing and yet everything. Gabe had seen it on himself not even a full year ago, when another plan went belly up and people lost their lives for it, and he'd stared at his reflection, wondering why the hell he was doing it anymore. It was a steep spiral he didn't want Moon to fall into. Hard to imagine how much he had changed in so little time. Gabe...grieved, almost. Better for the lion to be starstruck over flowers and a gentle face; better for him to have stayed far out of The Typhoon's clutches; better for him to work with herbs like he'd wanted. "Breathe, Twigs." Gabe didn't even glance at the shit Moon set in his claws, gaze on him. "You're right, they don't matter. But you do, and you're not some kind of cannibal they think you are."

The hybrid coughed a bit again, eyelids fluttering, dried blood tugging at his skin uncomfortably. He'd kind of wanted to avoid this conversation, but he knew he couldn't. Gabe had put it off for long enough, and look where it'd gotten him. "I have no fucking idea," he sighed. It was the truth, and it didn't feel freeing at all. Condemning, maybe. That was no fault of Moon's. "I've been losing time. I don't remember where I've been. I don't sleep. I'm hungry but I can't eat anything." He was just falling apart, wasn't he? "Maybe it is Alzheimer's."
[align=right][i]——INFO

[MOONMADE]

[size=9pt]/ it be like that sometimes

"Why did you?" He snaps. "Why did you choose to go? Huh?" A golden gaze, glassy and fierce, stares holes through Gabriel. He breathes heavy, and his voice is harsh. Things are starting to get the better of him, and he's angry and he's worried and he doesn't understand why Gabe would go by himself. Why he'd left Moon in the Ascendants to simmer in his paranoia while he took off to enemy territory, alone, in the state he was. He's getting himself worked up. "Why didn't you come get me? Har-- Har is my responsibility, and look at you-- You're a fuckin' mess. What the hell were we supposed to do if you didn't come back? Think Laz would just-- get over it if you collapsed somewhere before you got to the border and I hadn't found you?" A moment where he pauses, and there's that familiar tightness wrapping itself around his throat again, that wet heat threatening at his eyes. A flood of something that's been building up for a while. "And, me, what was I-- You can't just expect me to--"

He didn't have anyone anymore. Peri was gone. Marg and Suite, dead. He'd been too late to save Har. Hell, even Bast and Hazel had taken off. He'd latched on quicker than he'd realized, and the reality that he couldn't handle it alone was hitting him hard.

He breathes when Gabe tells him to. In, out. In, out. It doesn't work like they say it should. He still feels far from the ground he stands on, still feels like he's being set on fire from the inside out, but after a second- two, three, four- he gets to the point where exhaustion hits him and he falls silent. He sits back, manages to reduce his breaths to quiet, trembling things, and looks to the ground. He lets Gabe's voice spill into his ears and tries not to think about how it sounds like something close to death. After a stretch of nothing, the lion, quieter now, turned in on himself, replies. "You should've come to me earlier. 'Not in that tropical hellhole no more. It's on me to take care of everyone, now, and I don't care what you have to say about it-- That goes for you, too."

He lets that sit, and after a while, he starts to unfold from his turned in shoulders. Eyes that are solemn, sheepish, almost guilty, eventually look up and drift over Gabriel's collapsed figure. "I'm sending you to the Cleric's hide. Lockin' the door and and throwin' away the key. Get ready to see a lot more of me, Feathers, because I'm not lettin' you leave till Hell freezes over."

[GABRIEL]

[align=center][div style="width: 500px; text-align: justify; font-size: 9.4pt; line-height: 1.4;"]//it really do

"Twigs," Gabe started, eyes creased deeply, "if you went, it would've gone worse. Marina wanted you dead at that raid." He'd managed to interfere then, but what about at Sunhaven's border? Gabe had several people on his back, and the only reason he wasn't dead was because it was hard to kill what couldn't be touched. That, and Har's influence. Was it dumb? Yes. He wasn't arguing that. But with the road he seemed to be going down, his loss wouldn't be as awful as Moon's. Kid had much more going for him than he thought. Laz, too, and even if he wouldn't have been around to prove it, they'd have figured it out for themselves. Maybe. "Hey, don't worry about that. I'm here. They didn't off me, and Har's okay." Gabe tapped the lion's paw with a talon. "I'm pretty hard to kill, actually." He used to be. Gabe wasn't so certain anymore, but Moon didn't need uncertainty right now.

There was too much of that everywhere else, and the rug had been yanked out from beneath the lion so many times already.

The hybrid watched him attentively through the eye discomfort, worriedly following his expression, which eventually gave way to hollow fatigue, settled deep into his face, and if Gabe could free his young features from such an aged exhaustion, he would. But at the moment, he was contributing to it. "You're not alone, Moon." That had been Gabriel's problem, once upon a time, when it felt like he was Atlas carrying the sky, but he had been completely alone. At least, looking back, he couldn't determine someone he could have leaned on. Ana was gone and Jack- well, he'd been gone too. He felt cornered, desperate yet unbearably apathetic, and he gave himself over to it. Moon couldn't end up like he had: a burned out husk of a man who had already auctioned his soul. "You aren't. You can lean, too."

His dark eyes turned earnest, and he shifted a bit to better face him, even attempting to rise up to a different position. Of course, he didn't manage it just yet, but that didn't mean he was open to the idea of sitting in the clerics' hide, either. "Hell froze over when Bast put you in charge," he sniped, although it wasn't especially sharp. "I'll break out if I have to."
[align=right][i]——INFO