03-30-2020, 10:16 PM
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He kept fancying that Ivan was absorbed in something — something inward and important — that he was striving toward some goal, perhaps very hard to attain.
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He kept fancying that Ivan was absorbed in something — something inward and important — that he was striving toward some goal, perhaps very hard to attain.
— Бра́тья Карама́зовы
Days had passed since Beck tasked him with the idea to go out and collect something. He was supposed to show them at the end of the day, but coincidentally, Ivan's dark lanky form was nowhere to be seen that evening. It still nagged at his conscious, in the back of his mind like a woodpecker. The issue was finding something material of value to him. He had none. He did not form attachments to material objects. But, if he could gather the entire cosmos into his paws — or at least parts of it — he would be happy. To have one bright star contained in a single glass container. Yes, if he could collect stars, he would.
The first time it had rained while he was aware of it, Ivan had rushed out and splashed around in the puddles. That day, he was certain the stars had melted and came falling down, just for him. He had been soppy and muddy that day, it was not a good day for the house, but Ivan did manage to collect rainwater in a glass. It was kept under a creaky old board in the library. He loved the rain still to this day, even after learning it wasn't stars falling down.
A few days ago, something different fell from his mouth. It had happened so quickly and painlessly that he was caught off guard when he saw a glistening white kitten tooth in his food. He scooped it out swiftly and and placed it in a tiny wooden chest that was only as long as the width of a human's pointer finger. He stared at it for a long time, actually starting to shake. Was his body just starting to drop off? Ivan decidedly kept quiet about this new physical development and became self-conscious with how he spoke.
By the present time, Ivan had lost exactly five, and he collected all of them in that little chest. Two of them he almost lost forever, because he nearly swallowed them in his sleep. Ivan had, inadvertently, started that collection Beck told him to make. He was planning to move it to his hideout in the library today. The kitten held the chest awkwardly in his mouth as he padded through the town, trying not to make eye-contact with those his passed. Ivan's throat contracted suddenly to swallow the gathered saliva gathering in his mouth and he dropped the box on the ground. It bounced twice and opened, its contents of kitten baby teeth spilling out.
Ivan looked mortified beyond belief as he hurriedly attempted to gather them all back together.
The first time it had rained while he was aware of it, Ivan had rushed out and splashed around in the puddles. That day, he was certain the stars had melted and came falling down, just for him. He had been soppy and muddy that day, it was not a good day for the house, but Ivan did manage to collect rainwater in a glass. It was kept under a creaky old board in the library. He loved the rain still to this day, even after learning it wasn't stars falling down.
A few days ago, something different fell from his mouth. It had happened so quickly and painlessly that he was caught off guard when he saw a glistening white kitten tooth in his food. He scooped it out swiftly and and placed it in a tiny wooden chest that was only as long as the width of a human's pointer finger. He stared at it for a long time, actually starting to shake. Was his body just starting to drop off? Ivan decidedly kept quiet about this new physical development and became self-conscious with how he spoke.
By the present time, Ivan had lost exactly five, and he collected all of them in that little chest. Two of them he almost lost forever, because he nearly swallowed them in his sleep. Ivan had, inadvertently, started that collection Beck told him to make. He was planning to move it to his hideout in the library today. The kitten held the chest awkwardly in his mouth as he padded through the town, trying not to make eye-contact with those his passed. Ivan's throat contracted suddenly to swallow the gathered saliva gathering in his mouth and he dropped the box on the ground. It bounced twice and opened, its contents of kitten baby teeth spilling out.
Ivan looked mortified beyond belief as he hurriedly attempted to gather them all back together.