07-28-2018, 02:18 PM
komaeda was their friend, komaeda was their family, and he was destroying them. he was destroying their home, their sanctuary, he put everyone they cared about in danger and all the trust they had in him literally went up in flames and frisk saw so. many. memories in him. they saw bill. they saw sango. they even saw themself, but just barely. above all, they saw history repeating itself and they could not let that happen.
they lost themself for a moment. just a moment but in that moment everything came crashing down.
they forgot their duties as a leader, they forgot to stay calm, to be a balm for everyone, to deal with komaeda after the danger passed. they let full blown emotion takeover, anger takeover, fear takeover, and under the eyes of the fire-licked dawn and their people they ripped him apart, they pried him free of his weapon and used it against him, they just laid into him; they cut his arms, his face, they sawed his paw off and there's some twisted justice in that. something fitting to how the hand that started the whole mess had met its end, but it was also one of the darkest moments in frisk's history. it was when that ugly side of them, a facet of their personality, their brutality in response to the brutality that they have been met with over and over, came to light again. and it was the first time that their anger spoke volumes over their horror.
they rewrote history, stopped the past from knocking on their door for a third time. they thought they had won, that they could move on from everything. that there would be no consequences to their actions. that it was over but it actually wasn't, it was so far from over. komaeda overpowered frisk just before his trial, he partially ripped off their leg and fled the scene before anyone came. they faded in and out of consciousness, a doctor had to finish what koma started-- there was no saving their leg, there was no point even trying because it would do more harm than good if they just left it. it had to go.
frisk had to go. they were swallowed up by guilt and shame and anger and terror, their emotions got to them again and suddenly the sanctuary was no longer their sanctuary. it was another reminder, a terrible reminder of everything they've done and everything they've lost and how they can blame no one but themself. so they had to go.
frisk destroyed komaeda; komaeda destroyed frisk. and you'd think that after all this trouble, a victor would emerge but no. nobody had won. both sides lost something that day, neither of them walked away scott-free, neither of them are a hundred percent okay. it's a lose-lose situation, maybe even a bitter stalemate depending on who looks at it.
but that's not where their story ends.
now komaeda is on the borders of their new home, beaten, weakened, dehydrated, bleeding, dying and the ball is in frisk's court. they could end it right there, write off the last of their chapter by leaving him to die a slow and painful death or show a little mercy and off him beforehand. but they don't, they can't, because despite everything, despite their anger and their fear toward him, despite how he undoubtedly deserves it, they simply can't, and they want to say it's just because they don't want to have to kill anyone ever again but that is not the only factor. it's because they are no better than him, because he is as equally as scared and equally as angry as them.
and frisk knows that death will not remedy their feelings, will not stop the nightmares, will not stop the memories.
so they make amends. they are not friends, they will never reach that point again, but they are not enemies either. nobody knows what they are anymore, not even themselves. frisk will never be able to think of him with a smile on their face, komaeda might never look at a child without feeling a rush of anxiety, but both will know enough about their situation, how they got there and why, and they can find some form of peace in that knowledge.
they don't fix the mess they've made, it's up to themselves and themselves alone to pick up the pieces, but it's a start.
they lost themself for a moment. just a moment but in that moment everything came crashing down.
they forgot their duties as a leader, they forgot to stay calm, to be a balm for everyone, to deal with komaeda after the danger passed. they let full blown emotion takeover, anger takeover, fear takeover, and under the eyes of the fire-licked dawn and their people they ripped him apart, they pried him free of his weapon and used it against him, they just laid into him; they cut his arms, his face, they sawed his paw off and there's some twisted justice in that. something fitting to how the hand that started the whole mess had met its end, but it was also one of the darkest moments in frisk's history. it was when that ugly side of them, a facet of their personality, their brutality in response to the brutality that they have been met with over and over, came to light again. and it was the first time that their anger spoke volumes over their horror.
they rewrote history, stopped the past from knocking on their door for a third time. they thought they had won, that they could move on from everything. that there would be no consequences to their actions. that it was over but it actually wasn't, it was so far from over. komaeda overpowered frisk just before his trial, he partially ripped off their leg and fled the scene before anyone came. they faded in and out of consciousness, a doctor had to finish what koma started-- there was no saving their leg, there was no point even trying because it would do more harm than good if they just left it. it had to go.
frisk had to go. they were swallowed up by guilt and shame and anger and terror, their emotions got to them again and suddenly the sanctuary was no longer their sanctuary. it was another reminder, a terrible reminder of everything they've done and everything they've lost and how they can blame no one but themself. so they had to go.
frisk destroyed komaeda; komaeda destroyed frisk. and you'd think that after all this trouble, a victor would emerge but no. nobody had won. both sides lost something that day, neither of them walked away scott-free, neither of them are a hundred percent okay. it's a lose-lose situation, maybe even a bitter stalemate depending on who looks at it.
but that's not where their story ends.
now komaeda is on the borders of their new home, beaten, weakened, dehydrated, bleeding, dying and the ball is in frisk's court. they could end it right there, write off the last of their chapter by leaving him to die a slow and painful death or show a little mercy and off him beforehand. but they don't, they can't, because despite everything, despite their anger and their fear toward him, despite how he undoubtedly deserves it, they simply can't, and they want to say it's just because they don't want to have to kill anyone ever again but that is not the only factor. it's because they are no better than him, because he is as equally as scared and equally as angry as them.
and frisk knows that death will not remedy their feelings, will not stop the nightmares, will not stop the memories.
so they make amends. they are not friends, they will never reach that point again, but they are not enemies either. nobody knows what they are anymore, not even themselves. frisk will never be able to think of him with a smile on their face, komaeda might never look at a child without feeling a rush of anxiety, but both will know enough about their situation, how they got there and why, and they can find some form of peace in that knowledge.
they don't fix the mess they've made, it's up to themselves and themselves alone to pick up the pieces, but it's a start.
