you're gonna want to be my best friend, baby || Gamelia

[Simon F.M.]

To give me some diagnosis of why I'm so hollow

Please give me instructions, I promise I'll follow

Diya subconsciously leaned to the touch for just a moment, murmuring a soft "thank you" before returning to her previous spot. She was thankful for the dragon's words, the lack of pressure to dig into the skeletons in her closet, but the comfort of not being alone.

She enjoyed the silence, appreciating being allowed to process her emotions without being forced to talk. When the dragon began to speak again, the snowy feline listed her head, surprised to see that her face had fallen. She paused, unsure of what to say. Scooting closer, she rested her chin on Garmelia's shoulder. The feline, socially awkward as ever, scrambled for something to say. "Do you have another depressed cat in your life I need to know about?" she would say in a joking tone.

Oh Diya, what a poor choice of words.

template by orion

[GAMELIA B .]

//OOC

Another depressed cat in her life? Gamelia tried to laugh, but it broke and fell short. "No, she was a ray of sunshine in my life. She's... not here anymore." Her voice was suddenly much quieter. She shouldn't be talking about this here. It wouldn't be right to turn the conversation to herself. That wasn't how this worked.

Taking a deep breath to force back the tightness in her throat, she murmured, "Don't worry about it. It was a long time ago. You just... look like her. That's all." That was what the dream was about. How could she have forgotten so easily? The tightness in her throat persisted. She didn't want to cry here. It wouldn't be fair to Diya.

But... how could she have forgotten her so easily? How could she betray her like that? Her... A sense of horror began to dawn inside of her. Her name. Had she forgotten her name? No- she couldn't. How could she? How could she?

Gamelia refused to look at Diya, keeping her face pressed into the sand. With a quiet, wavering voice she asked, "Do you sleep on the beach every night? Why haven't you chosen a home here?"

[align=center]ATTACK IN BOLD #7d3479 - TAGS

[Simon F.M.]

To give me some diagnosis of why I'm so hollow

Please give me instructions, I promise I'll follow

As the dragon began to speak, Diya found herself moving forward, positioning herself to press her forehead against the candy dragon's lengthy neck. "I'm sorry for your loss, I know what its like to loose a loved one." Several, actually.

"I'm going to offer you what you offered me but and not force you to talk but, if you want to, I'll listen." she would say, pressing herself against the dragon in an attempt of comfort. She could see the tense contraction of the dragon's muscles, the way she seemed to be avoiding looking at the pale feline. What she said was a shot in the dark, a guess as to what the dragon may be thinking. "You're allowed to cry, you know?"

She would leave it at that, taking a moment to mule over the candied dragons questions. "Not every night, sometimes I use Roxanne's spare room. But it... It feels wrong so," a pause, a grasp for words to explain her inner thoughts, "This isn't my home." she'd say simply, a huff leaving her as she tried to finish her statement. "I've sworn no loyalty t the Typhoon, why should I use up one of its homes?"

template by orion

[GAMELIA B .]

//OOC

When Diya pressed herself into her, Gamelia seemed to melt into the touch, shoulders sagging. She shouldn't say anything. This wasn't about her. This wasn't about her. This was for Diya, not her.

But when her own words were thrown back at her, she broke. You're allowed to cry, you know? With each second that she thought about it, the worse she felt. Her own tears began to fall, and a low whining sob brought her to cover her face, but she didn't say anything until the other had finished.

"I loved her," she cried. "I loved her so- I loved her so much." Gamelia hiccuped, pausing. "She was a-all I had. And I..." How long had it been since she had thought about her? Despite everything she had done for her? "I can't even... I..." Shaking her head, she pressed her face further into the sand.

She wanted to disappear. She was ungrateful and undeserving. Her voice fell to a cracked whisper. "I can't even remember her name. I didn't deserve her love. How could I have forgotten her so easily? I'm a horrible monster." Shut up, shut up. She was being an attention whore. Shut up. Why would she want to know someone like me? Gamelia shook her head again. "I'm sorry, I..." trailing off, she bit her tongue.

[align=center]ATTACK IN BOLD #7d3479 - TAGS

[Simon F.M.]

To give me some diagnosis of why I'm so hollow

Please give me instructions, I promise I'll follow

Diya felt slight panic as the candy dragon began to sob, cringing for a moment. She wasn't the best in social situations, especially ones concerning emotions. She sat there for a moment, like a bump on a log, before wiggling out from under the blanket. She squatted next to the dragon, wrapping snowy front legs around the purple dragon. She made a face at the goop that began to stick to her fur, rubbing the gritty sand further into her fur. 

Using the paw that she hadn't trapped beneath the dragons, she gently stroked the ridge of the dragon's neck. "I'm not, I'm not great talking to people so if I say the wrong thing I'm sorry but..." She clears her throat, paw stilling after giving a couple of pats. "I don't- I don't know about you but my moms... they were old. Like, really really old. And uh, they lived thousands of years I think? I don't know"

She flicked her tail, tossing up sand behind her as she thought through what to say next. "They knew a lot of people and uh, after a while, you like... hm. Name don't... Names don't define who you are, Gamelia." This was more in her territory. "It's who you are as a person that matters and you... you clearly remember that about her. You remember that you love her, that she clearly was there for you. That's what matters." A deep breath and a flick of her ears as she thought back through her mishmash of a family and their never-ending advice. "My Uncle Cooper says... He says a monster never worries about being a monster. And you could never be a monster for forgetting a uh, name."

"Like... memories fade with time, you can't help that. Hell, I don't remember some of the names of my siblings and it's only been about three years." When in doubt, drop a relatable story, right? Oma Above, she'd be an awful therapist. "What I'm trying to say, I guess, is you're not a monster"

template by orion

[GAMELIA B .]

//OOC

Her sobs had been forcibly silenced, but she could do nothing against the hiccups or gentle shaking of her body. The hug eased her internal pain, but she did not return the motion, instead continuing to stare at her hands. Part of her desperately wanted to keep venting or crying or sharing, but she needed to stop. The topic had to return to Diya. Gamelia had wrongfully interrupted her.

Names don't define who you are.

If only she felt the same way. It- she understood what she was trying to say. She appreciated the efforts. However, if her mind told her she was going to feel this way, well, what could she do?

Her mouth was moving almost on its own. "How could I ever say I truly loved her if I can't remember something as basic as her name?" she murmured. The dragon slowly shook her head. Perhaps she wasn't a true monster, but she was despicable nonetheless.

Swallowing hard, she rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I appreciate it, Diya, I do, but to forget her so easily is an insult to her and all she did for me." Undeserving. She had never truly felt that she had deserved her and her love, even all the way back then. Perhaps she just didn't deserve love.

"I'm sorry, Diya," she apologized quietly, "Don't worry about it." Change the topic. "I'm here for you, it shouldn't be the other way around." Nudging her head out from underneath the sheet, Gamelia looked up the sloping beach. "You shouldn't be sleeping out here. You'll catch a cold. Do you want to spend the night at my home? I have a spot you can stay."

[align=center]ATTACK IN BOLD #7d3479 - TAGS