03-25-2018, 01:58 PM
Now how did he manage to lose himself in basically the South Pole even though it felt like he was still stumbling through the boiling desert he once called home? It must have been one hell of an acid trip then, although he couldn't remember recently owning acid. Process of elimination left the explanation for his confusion as heatstroke -- no, wait, cold as balls winter wonderland. Right.
The stout dachshund shook his head in a bizarre manner, as if attempting to clear away the effects of drug addiction from his mind with a measly shake. Environments like the current tundra he trudged through made him wish he was someone else -- someone taller and fitter and stronger and able to tolerate extreme conditions. He was an overweight and sausage-like loser up to his chin in snow. At least he wasn't completely vulnerable to the harsh elements; he had the shirt on his back, damp and frozen with the slush he waddled across, and the pouch strapped around his torso stuffed with gadgets and gizmos. Frequently lifting a shivering paw with clumps of ice stuck in between his toes to push his thick glasses back up his narrow snout, the outlandish canine was entirely aware of the hypothermia beginning to set in. Maybe he would die out here in the empty wasteland of snow; it wasn't like he was important to the universe's plans anyways. Movements growing sluggish and feeble, he eventually couldn't drag himself any further. Too delirious to take notice of any scentline or signs of life, the dachshund tripped and collapsed in the snow. A few pitiful attempts were made to heave himself up and keep going, but it was no use. This was it. This was the end. And here he thought he would end up being shanked in an alleyway by a drug dealer or hooker or maybe even a cop. That would be a better way to kick the bucket than curling up in the permafrost with ice burying his body. Chuck Rogers used to believe he was destined for greatness, just like his runaway father always lied to him. But now, he realized he was going to keel over in the middle of nowhere without having done anything with his life. Glasses askew on his face, the dachshund slipped into a fever dream of sorts, incoherently mumbling words foreign to whatever creatures would eventually gobble up his refrigerated remains. "F-flash Gordon... sonic... ray gun... gonna be a super... star..." If those were his last words, he would personally kick his corpse from the heavens above. Chuck trailed off into silence as his system sputtered and failed, internal temperature just as he previously said: cold as balls.
The stout dachshund shook his head in a bizarre manner, as if attempting to clear away the effects of drug addiction from his mind with a measly shake. Environments like the current tundra he trudged through made him wish he was someone else -- someone taller and fitter and stronger and able to tolerate extreme conditions. He was an overweight and sausage-like loser up to his chin in snow. At least he wasn't completely vulnerable to the harsh elements; he had the shirt on his back, damp and frozen with the slush he waddled across, and the pouch strapped around his torso stuffed with gadgets and gizmos. Frequently lifting a shivering paw with clumps of ice stuck in between his toes to push his thick glasses back up his narrow snout, the outlandish canine was entirely aware of the hypothermia beginning to set in. Maybe he would die out here in the empty wasteland of snow; it wasn't like he was important to the universe's plans anyways. Movements growing sluggish and feeble, he eventually couldn't drag himself any further. Too delirious to take notice of any scentline or signs of life, the dachshund tripped and collapsed in the snow. A few pitiful attempts were made to heave himself up and keep going, but it was no use. This was it. This was the end. And here he thought he would end up being shanked in an alleyway by a drug dealer or hooker or maybe even a cop. That would be a better way to kick the bucket than curling up in the permafrost with ice burying his body. Chuck Rogers used to believe he was destined for greatness, just like his runaway father always lied to him. But now, he realized he was going to keel over in the middle of nowhere without having done anything with his life. Glasses askew on his face, the dachshund slipped into a fever dream of sorts, incoherently mumbling words foreign to whatever creatures would eventually gobble up his refrigerated remains. "F-flash Gordon... sonic... ray gun... gonna be a super... star..." If those were his last words, he would personally kick his corpse from the heavens above. Chuck trailed off into silence as his system sputtered and failed, internal temperature just as he previously said: cold as balls.