quiet beginnings [VISITOR]

[Kamara Jilani]

even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes

[align=center]

code by spacexual

[ooc: Sorry for the late reply! I had a whole post written and I thought it went through and was posted but when I came back it didn't! and I couldn't get it back so it killed my muse for Kamara but I'm pushing through!]



She would nod slowly, listening to him briefly address his membership to the group.

"Usually people refer to something taking forever when it's unpleasant...but considering your outward expression... this is not so? At least I'll give it the benefit of the doubt."

She doubted he truly meant it in the common way. Another brief smile as she thought about what to say next, "Well I'm afraid I've had a different life. I've been everywhere and nowhere all at once. I've lived for centuries and could never seem to find a place to stay. Or at least somewhere where I felt content... The longest place I ever stay at was my birth home. I couldn't wait to leave. Since I was a cub I wanted to see."

Eyes would stare in the distance as if remembering, a soft glaze of memory in her eyes. Kamara's voice would lower a little, "God it's been centuries since I was a child...". She would sigh and look at Wormwood.

"I'm much much older than you'd think by looking at me. I know I dislike staying somewhere too long because I end up meeting people... then I bond... and then I outlive them. Time is what takes them from me majority of the time... and the ones immortal like myself? We grow apart or get sick of each other. Familiarity breeds contempt and all.", she dismissed that with a flick of her tail.


"I've watch my mother and my brother die. The only person that has outlived me is my father. I can only imagine what that bastard has been through. Seeing his children, mates, and friends die? You'd think immortality wouldn't be so damn picky. But it is a hit or miss thing, at least with my family."

Her spotted frame would move a little closer in step with Wormwood, "A litter of kittens and only one of them is cursed with a never-ending life. I suppose I have siblings out there. But I have yet to come across one, nor would I be willing to ask every feline who their sire was. But that's life. It no longer burdens my heart anymore. Tears do not fall at the thought."

She let out a apologetic purr, "I am sorry friend. I am an old woman in my soul and so I'll tend to ramble. Especially now that I am surrounded by others, it has been a long time since I allowed myself to be apart of anything or interact with others outside of brief hellos and goodbyes. You will also find that I am an open book. Ask me away and I'll answer it."

never will she bow

TAGS:

v

GENERAL.
✧ KAMARA JILANI | kamar, mara,
✧ physically 3 years, mentally 230 years| December 14th | capricorn (sun) taurus(moon) sag (rising)
✧ female | she, her, etc
✧ clan/group | rank | titles to be earned
— body ceased to age once reaching peak physical age
— has live hundreds of years, immortal

APPEARANCE.
✧ Amur leopard/pantanl jaguar (ref.) | health: 100% | birth body
— a solid body in every sense. she walks with comfort in her own skin having had decades and centuries to get accustomed to it. she is smaller than a pure bred pantanal jaguar and slightly lighter. her fur is wispy near the ends, longer than African leopards. her right eye is icy blue, nearly silver. her left eye is a violet. has the face of a jaguar apart from her leopard like nose bridge. legs are slightly longer, not had bulky looking. long tail.
— blood is black/tears are crimson/sweat is clear (optional)
— no accesories
— no current injuries

PERSONALITY.
✧ understanding, patient, responsible,
✧ independent, hard working, conversationalist, honest, open book
✧ trouble working with others, rebellious, condescending, trouble building relationships
— persona to come


RELATIONSHIPS.
✧ Jazeera Jilani x Akuna | had a littermate named Aekano, died centuries ago because he wasn't immortal
— outlived all her family members except her father
✧ Jilani Dynasty
✧ panromantic & pansexual | not looking | shipname n/a
✧ no friends | best friends | doesn't like to build deep relationships, isolates herself because she's watched all her friends die

INTERACTIONS.
✧ physically 99% | mentally 90% | enhanced senses, wall climbing, ,(future)earth elementals | no weapons
✧ will end fights, hard provoke | will not kill
✧ no mentor | no apprentice | pretty skilled in fighting through experience not formal teaching
✧ allowed to powerplay peaceful actions | attack in bolded purple | mention [member=7724]Kamara Jilani[/member]

MISC.
✧ voice claim: Madge Sinclair
✧ dislikes her father, thinks he is selfish
✧ extra info here, such as face claims, voice claims, bits of their history, links, etc.
— specifics right here

[wormwood.]

As Kamara began to speak about her struggles as an immortal being, Worm felt himself be not only massively out of his depth, but also feel a strange sense of nostalgia and sadness the longer she spoke. He wasn't sure why, since it wasn't like he himself was an immortal being, at least not as far as he knew, but for some reason her plight felt so familiar to him, and he he made a soft almost apologetic noise as she went on about the sadness she had experienced, feeling an itch along his spine where his wing would have been, had it not been for the face that he was in his current form. The phantom limbs seemed to shift and shake, but he was blissfully unaware of it, instead just leading Kamara along and swallowing thickly. Now, whenever anybody spoke of family, he felt a deep seated feeling of guilt, as well as sadness and anger, to produce an unpleasant cocktail that made his tail sink down beside him, doing the opposite of it's usual happy wagging. He had outlived both of his parents at this point, and even though Poetking wasn't dead, he might as well have been considering where he now was, and who he now associated with. He wondered if he would one day outlive even Poetking... probably, given Poet had gone off towards the Pitt. There was no doubt he would eventually either be killed by those he called "allies", or one day by him, in his quest for revenge against those who had abandoned and harmed him.

His thoughts were rapidly getting off the rails, and he refocused on what Kamara was saying, hearing her apologizing for "rambling on" to him. If he was being honest, he offered her nothing but an apologetic smile, since he had sort of zoned out for part of her speech thanks to his own existential crises, but he did feel bad about it. He could focus on someone other than himself... at least that provided a welcome excuse for him to not be focused on his thoughts of family, and what he had lost thus far. He barked softly as he walked along, feeling the brush of Kamara's pelt against his own as she moved closer in her movement, "Don't worry, I don't mind listening to your "rambling". Honestly it's kind of... comforting. I can't share your exact same plights, but honestly I can understand the feelings. The feelings of outliving everyone you love, and feeling anxiety over allowing yourself to be a part of something... Before I came here, I was exiled from the place I had been raised since I was a cub, and after that, I doubted I would ever be able to truly see a place as home again, since even the people who were supposed to love me had caused me pain... but then I arrived here, and I found a new family, and a new place to call home." He smiled softly, and sadly, thinking back to when he had first arrived on the border of Tanglewood, heartbroken and roaring to gain his brother's attention. He had been so angry and hurt at that point, and desperate for the only family he had left... ultimately, even through all of the hardships that had happened here in Tanglewood, he still felt happier here than he had ever felt back in the pride.

As he crossed over the border of the woods and stepped foot into the town that most of them called home, he chuckled weakly and said softly as he lowered his head and shook it, smiling, "Ah... I'm sorry, miss Kamara. I didn't mean to make things so much more sad when I added on to what you were saying. I suppose I just miss what remained of my little dysfunctional family, even if they weren't the best for me..." He then said as he gestured around him, to the various standing buildings and the clan members bustling around to do their various tasks, "I... I suppose my question for you now is where you would like to stay. I can't guarantee that people won't pass along here as well, but Tanglewood is somewhere where connections are encouraged, and even if you're only here for a while, I think it would be worth it to have a place here, and to make friends. Even if people pass along... a life without friends is a life not lived." It sounded vaguely like something Feza would probably say, but... he did honestly mean it. He vastly preferred the life he had found in Tanglewood to the life he had once considered, all alone without others to worry about, even if he felt like, for some reason, he would one day end up outliving the friends and family he so desperately loved here.

[glow=black,2,300]YOUR CHANNEL IS UNREACHABLE[/glow]

[Kamara Jilani]

even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes

[align=center]

code by spacexual

It was always pleasurable to have heart to hearts with strangers and new acquaintances. You got to know someone without all the effort and time. Someone were too locked up to spill their most intimate secrets, the largest sections of their past. It was always different, some were similar but none were the same.

"That is fine, I've found those who don't live forever often waste their short lives attempting to not embarrass themselves. Or rather too embarrassed to show their true selves in fear of what others think.", she looked at Wormwood, her slight touch was meant to let him know it was just fine.

"Don't apologize for your truth. I know how hypocritical it sounds considering I just did that... but I always have another chance. I die.... I have died. I just wake up again. With a scar for what caused it... and sometimes no recollection. But if I take no damage I will remain so for as long as can be. Really sucks, I get all the pain and trauma.. and when I die I have no recollection.. it's always like I'm waking up from a nap.. except I'll appear wherever. The time that passes in between varies. One time I recall... passing in the winter... and I remember waking up in the fall."

She let out a humorous "ha", "Don't worry it really isn't all bad. The first was the worst. But when I figured out I can come back... well death lost its wow factor."

A yawn would come to briefly pass, "I am very sorry to hear about your homelands. I am quite happy to hear you found solace here though. Things will be as they should in the end. Hopefully I can find the same sanctuary somewhere."

never will she bow

TAGS:

v

GENERAL.
✧ KAMARA JILANI | kamar, mara,
✧ physically 3 years, mentally 230 years| December 14th | capricorn (sun) taurus(moon) sag (rising)
✧ female | she, her, etc
✧ clan/group | rank | titles to be earned
— body ceased to age once reaching peak physical age
— has live hundreds of years, immortal

APPEARANCE.
✧ Amur leopard/pantanl jaguar (ref.) | health: 100% | birth body
— a solid body in every sense. she walks with comfort in her own skin having had decades and centuries to get accustomed to it. she is smaller than a pure bred pantanal jaguar and slightly lighter. her fur is wispy near the ends, longer than African leopards. her right eye is icy blue, nearly silver. her left eye is a violet. has the face of a jaguar apart from her leopard like nose bridge. legs are slightly longer, not had bulky looking. long tail.
— blood is black/tears are crimson/sweat is clear (optional)
— no accesories
— long and deep scar all the way down her belly

PERSONALITY.
✧ understanding, patient, responsible,
✧ independent, hard working, conversationalist, honest, open book
✧ trouble working with others, rebellious, condescending, trouble building relationships
— persona to come


RELATIONSHIPS.
✧ Jazeera Jilani x Akuna | had a littermate named Aekano, died centuries ago because he wasn't immortal
— outlived all her family members except her father
✧ Jilani Dynasty
✧ panromantic & pansexual | not looking | shipname n/a
✧ no friends | best friends | doesn't like to build deep relationships, isolates herself because she's watched all her friends die

INTERACTIONS.
✧ physically 99% | mentally 90% | enhanced senses, wall climbing, ,(future)earth elementals | no weapons
✧ will end fights, hard provoke | will not kill
✧ no mentor | no apprentice | pretty skilled in fighting through experience not formal teaching
✧ allowed to powerplay peaceful actions | attack in bolded purple | mention [member=7724]Kamara Jilani[/member]

MISC.
✧ voice claim: Madge Sinclair
✧ dislikes her father, thinks he is selfish
✧ extra info here, such as face claims, voice claims, bits of their history, links, etc.
— specifics right here