daybreak and fireflies ☀ panicked

[arcy]

Izuku knew there'd be some kind of drawback once he was finally nearly healed. He wasn't sure what -- he knows he's just paranoid but the feeling is still there. He tries not to pay attention to it too much -- he's wrong, he's wrong, he's wrong. He'll get a break. Just one. He doesn't deserve one but he'll be damned if he doesn't get one. Which is to say, he's definitely damned. Izuku has never had a break in his life.
The incident occurs when he's in the library. Because of course he is. The area he's in has at least been dusted, and Izuku had taken off the bandages all up his right leg for the time being. He doesn't think he should. Wounds needed to be moist to heal properly or whatever but it just -- he's not sure. Well, it was practically dripping everytime he took it off already, and Izuku just didn't like that. So he was having it air out for a little while. Not till it's completely dry, that wasn't ideal, just till it's more comfortable. He doesn't like it, of course -- having his wound out like this is just -- he doesn't like it. It's so gouged and pink and raw and it just scares him. It was gonna scar really badly, Izuku knew that much. He doesn't like it. Doesn't like that he's scarred for life just because of a dumbass mistake -- and that's normally fine. God knows Izuku had enough scars he didn't care about for even dumber reasons. Those were pretty eye-catching, but this would be the very, very first thing people would notice about him. Their first impressions of him would be influenced by it. Hell, even just having it amputated would be less obvious. And -- see, Izuku is basing this on his experiences with his own world. He's not ... sure. How it'll fare in this place. Either way.
Anyways. It occurs exactly when he's sulking over this -- a blank stare as he simple stares at the mutilated skin of his leg. He's jolted back to attention when he notices a little blue spark across the surface. He blinks, sitting up a little straighter and hissing as his limp leg scrapes against the surface. He feels -- dread, and another emotion slowly rising from the depths of whatever hell his emotions come from.
It's another minute before it happens again -- a little crackle of electricity across his skin. And then it starts to hit him. Oh. He can't feel it -- can't feel the release or anything and he can't control it because despite his attempts at suppressing it another crackle rolls across another minute later. Then it becomes harder to breathe. Oh god. Can't control it. His claws, worn and surrounded by burnt pink flesh, curl as they dig into the table. It hurts a lot but he cant hardly tell. No no no no. He didn't want to use it again. Didn't want to hurt anybody with the power again, after all of the burning he'd seen. Because it hurt. It scarred. He could kill people. Nearly had. And this -- his breath hitches, the slightest tremble to his movements as tears gather in his eyes. nononono. Couldn't stop it -- why? With each crackle, with minutes and minutes inbetween, it gets harder to focus. Harder to convince himself that it's fine. He's been sitting here for ages now, breath ragged as he shakes and cries. He needed to rebandage it -- enough time. Enough time. But he can't move. He doesn't get it -- not at all. Doesn't know why he can't force himself to move a muscle. He squeezes his eyes shut and allows himself a little sob as he manages to partly curl back around himself, paw held as far away as possible. Which, of course, wasn't a lot. So it's here that Izuku can be found, definitely silently sobbing next to a book and with a burned paw occasionally sparking -- rarely sparking, really. It was irrational, of course. It wasn't a big deal, but god, god, he can't handle it and he doesn't know what to do. Doesn't want a reminder of everything,

☀ what was i worth

[CLEMENTINE P.]

————- The library was, undoubtedly, one of Clementine's favorite places to be. Though she was still learning how to read, her many, many... many days stuck indoors and unable to go out and play with others had rendered her a little more capable than others her age to read. In other words, it was much an escape for a little girl with so many health problems- to go to a world where she wasn't her, where she could imagine adventure, intrigue, and maybe even a little bit of fluffy storybook romance. Mayhaps instead of shutting herself away again, it would have been more use of the little girl to go explore and meet more of her clan mates, yet she found the library drawing her. More so, she wanted to find those odd French books that her father had. He didn't have many of them, and it was doubtless that she wasn't going to ask in case she wasn't supposed to find them in the first place, but she was determined to learn the odd language.

Of course, she was hardly expecting to find Izuku in such a state when she entered, either. Granted she didn't know the poor creature who was now curled up in an agonizing pain, but it wasn't hard to miss him either. Winding through the shelves of books and the little nooks and crannies of the library, it wasn't long before she stumbled upon him. Her little green eyes went wide, her breath hitching in shock at the sight of it. It wasn't that she was new to pain, but what was that sparking on his paws? The questions and horror were written stark across her little face as her gaze darted desperatly, thinking of what to do, what she could even do. Get someone? But who? And what would they do? Much like him she found herself frozen in place, her breathing slightly shaking past parted lips as she tried to pull her thoughts together.

"Mister?" she dared to breathe softly, her voice uncertain as she took a few steps closer- she avoided his sparking paws, of course, because even she knew that it was likely something dangerous. "Can you hear me?" she then asked- perhaps he couldn't? Maybe he was in some sort of daze? He was crying. It was no daze. Clementine swallowed uneasily, then sunk to the floor on her belly as she crawled a little closer, not daring to touch, nor invade his space, but trying to find his eyes. Her father always said eye-contact was important when you were talking to people- something she much needed to practice. Maybe it would help? "Can you talk? Try deep breaths! That helps me when I need to calm down. A-and I won't leave you, either! Does that sound okay?" Her ears twitched at another little spark from his paw, her head canting curiously so that it rested on her own paws. She began to open her mouth to ask- but seemed to have the foresight to stop herself from pestering the poor sobbing thing on the floor.  "Do you want me to get someone for you?"

❀

[color=#B0CC8C][b]

[Dimitri]

Dimitri knew panic. He knew more well, dissociation. The tom has been coming to the library to explore, when he saw two strangers and one of them not doing okay.

He approached cautiously, approaching the two of them, and hesitating to touch the other tom?

"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?"

[arcy]

Upon discovering the library a week or so earlier, Izuku had decided to put effort into making this place livable. He liked to read here, and it was a good safe spot when he didn't want to be home. He liked reading -- he couldn't read very well now, of course. Not because he was a bad reader. Just cause his eyes were literally never going to be as good as they were before he injured them. Step by step.
It's Clementine's voice that startles Izuku out of his shock, a little at a time. The feline's ears give a little twitch as he recognizes .. a voice. Not somebody he knows. But somebody nonetheless. He should -- he should pull himself together. Can't see him like this over a little thing like his own electricity, which had literally only hurt him one time. Terribly, yes, but still just once. But even just trying to suppress it just makes it worse, the tears coming faster for a few moments as he tries to force himself to calm down.
"Y -- yeah," He manages a little wheezily, looking over his one paw to see -- well, a kitten. The guilt weighs in on him then -- this was his problem, god why did other people have to worry about it. They probably didn't even know or get it and he doesn't deserve help what the hell. His breath hitches, and he resists the urge to just .. completely bury his face. He might've, but -- well, that'd hurt. And he doesn't want to have to wash off injury fluids off of his face. He didn't even want to be here oh god why couldn't he have this breakdown in the safety of his own home. He didn't -- want to be alone, but he didn't want to bother people like this either. The kitten has crawled closer and -- Izuku is fine with that. Mostly. She doesn't seem like she's going to touch his leg, and that's good, even if it was just -- low voltage. Even so, there's something paranoid that forces him to yank his paw farther away and back into his fur despite the flash of hot pain that hits him. He lets out a little pained sound because it burns and he probably just undid some healing but whatever. Whatever. "I c .. I c-can," He affirms, but it's clear that it's only barely as he lets out a little sob once again afterwards. His throat is tight and tired and god. His ears briefly flatten when she mentions leaving, but she -- wasn't. She was staying here. He's simultaneously very glad and also very distressed about this -- his problem, she shouldn't have to. Despite this, though, he tries to follow her instructions, and it's ... very hard. One moment he'd be semi-ok and the next his paw would crackle and it doesn't even hurt but then he'd be panicked all over again. He turns his head just the slightest, though, so it's not -- as prevalent. It helps a little -- as in he's not hyperventilating or anything but his head is light and everything feels kind of spinny. "I'll -- I'll be okay, pl -- please d .. dont," Don't need to bother anyone else. Please don't. Don't broadcast his irrational fears to the rest of the clan. Or Aizawa. God forbid Aizawa discover he's scared to death of his own electricity. He's not sure what the lion will do or if he'll do anything at all, but Izuku just ... he's not sure.
"B ... bandages, pl ... please, um," His voice is shaky and his face is definitely a big mess and he still doesn't get why cats here can cry, but he needs ... to get something over it. Can he manage to get bandages over it? With one paw? And also mid-breakdown? Probably not but the moment somebody gets shocked by his electricity, basically static as it was, he'll be in full-out hysteria. So. He'll just have to live with it.

☀ what was i worth

[Dimitri]

Dimitri suddenly felt himself shaking, and moved to run out of the room but- "Where? Wh- Where?" he just moved here! He didn’t know where anything was!

"speech"

[arcy]

Oh, that wasn't the way for bandages. He -- he had some. He'd just been planning to keep himself confined to this little area till he felt okay with putting it back on, see. But it's with a very wobbly smile that Izuku tries and work up the ability to speak again. Another little crackle causes him to flinch again, and he pulls his paw even further to himself. And it burns. It really, really does. Every little touch against his leg, massive injured as it was, just hurt so bad and he knew that he'd just ruined some of the healing process. But it's fine. It's okay. It's fine.
"I -- I .. My bag's ri - right there," Izuku makes a vague gesture with a wing. It's just in a corner off of the table, leaning against a bookshelf. He has a lotta stuff in there -- like bandages and herbs, yes. Also his journals and stuff. The bandages should be pretty obvious, he just hopes Dimitri doesn't make too much of a mess with it. He probably needs to put something on his leg now, because of all the shit he's doing, but Dimitri won't know that. And it's fine. It won't be a huge deal and even if it is then, well, that's unfortunate. He'll probably have to amputate it if it gets too much worse, see. And Izuku .. well, he thinks he'd be better off with a horribly scarred leg than no leg. Unless he has to drag his leg around like he is now even once he's healed. That'd be bad.

☀ what was i worth

[Dimitri]

DImitri nodded and his eyes went over to the bag. He scampered over to it, breaking to a halt and nearly knocking into it.

He started shuffling through the bag, pulling things out until he found the bandages. He grabbed the roll between his teeth and brought it over.

"This it?" He asked, pulling some out and offering to put it on him.