i want you to leave me alone - o,

[featherear .]

ooc ;; just wanted to note for yall this is kinda a sensitive topic
plot: featherear finds her brother's body

❧  Hearing that Haystripe had not shown up in the hurricane's aftermath was heartbreaking enough to the silver tabby. She had spent her days mostly in the medcat den, trying to clear her thoughts while busying herself with organizing her herbs over and over, spreading them across the flat ground before putting them back in their cubbies she had made. She paced a lot, and barely slept, struggling to find a comfortable spot in her nest without the warmth of her brother next to her in his own. Featherear had let Sunpaw know where she was going while tossing a small mew over her shoulder and a flick of her tail as she pulled her sand-clogged self out of the den.
❧  Shaking her pelt free from the loose sand, Featherear took note of the new day while yawning, her tail perking up as she trotted towards the entrance to the camp. It wouldn't hurt to take a walk, would it? She nodded to a warrior she passed by them, purring in reply. The morning felt way too nice on her long fur to be good. Too good to be true. She decided she wanted to go to the beach. It would be a nice day to go for a small swim, dip her toes in the waves and feel the water cool her off. She headed for the where the sea met the island in loud, thunderous greeting.
❧  Featherear always hated the ocean and the feeling of sand in between her toes, even as a kit. She swore, always, to never be a warrior and hunt in the ocean. She, to this day, hated the feeling. But years had grown on her, and the feeling was almost welcoming, though bittersweet. The smell of the ocean always had her wrinkling her nose, but she had grown so used to it by now. She stood at the waves, feeling the breeze and enjoying it. The feline purred as she began to trot, closing her eyes and letting her paws and Starclan guide her on her walk.
❧  However, her paws very quickly found themselves in empty air, and she let out a short yowl in surprise when she fell into what felt like a ravine, but had to have been a hole that the two-legs had to have made when they had been here before the hurricane. She gasped and looked up at the sky, feeling her head swirl for a moment as she tried to regain her conscious and take note of her surroundings.
❧  And one of those surroundings were familiar, pale orange fur and a rancid smell.
❧  She shot up to her paws and, without a further ado, let out the most ear-splitting scream.

[RHINESTONE.]

Ever since Featherear had shown back up in camp in the wake of the hurricane, Rhine had felt bad that he wasn't able to do more for her. Yes, he had given her the medicine cat position out of necessity and because she seemed suited for it, but he didn't think of that as a gift. That was just him acknowledging her skill, and making sure that she put it to use. What he so desperately wished he could've done for her, was reassure her that her brother was alright. He was lucky enough to still have Weepingkit around, but if the other had been swept up in the storm? He never would've been able to forgive himself, and he couldn't imagine how Featherear must've been feeling. He had spent several days after the hurricane just... searching. Searching for anyone and everyone that he had lost during the frantic dash for the forest. Most of all, he had been looking for Haystripe, trying to figure out whether or not Feather's brother could truly still be alive. He could've been, just trapped somewhere, starving and waiting for them to come rescue him. Alas, his searches had always come up empty, and he had always felt the faintest bit guilty looking over at the medicine den.

The shrill wail that Featherear let out would've been enough to wake anyone from the most death-like of sleeps, and Rhinestone's head had shot up in horror. He had just been trying to get in a few extra minutes of sleep before he got up for the day, but it seemed as though fate was not having that. He wasn't even really sure where he was going as he stumbled forth from his nest, shaking sand from his pelt, but he knew that he needed to find the source of the scream. Thankfully, Feather's scent was still fairly fresh on the air, and it wasn't long before he was following the medicine cat's trail, going considerably faster along it than she had been. In fact, Rhine barely managed to stop himself before he fell into the very same hole as Featherear, recoiling when another, terribly familiar scent filled his nose. Looking down over the lip of the hole, Rhinestonestar's heart sank when he saw Featherear there, along with Haystripe's corpse. It took everything in him not to vomit, his heart sinking at the sight of the other tom. That guaranteed that there was no chance of him still being alive, but at least it also gave some sense of closure.

With his tail faintly shaking and twitching behind him, the leader cleared his throat, speaking in a gentle tone, "F... Featherear. You just try and get up, alright? We'll lift you out of there, and we'll... we'll..." The leader hesitated, his gaze pained as his ears flattened down against his skull. After taking a moment to compose himself, he continued, "...We'll bury him, alright? We'll hold a vigil for him, to give him a proper send-off to Starclan." He wasn't sure how much comfort his words would truly provide, but what else was he supposed to say? It wasn't as if he could bring Haystripe back.

RHINESTONESTAR - PALMCLAN - PENNED BY STILLY

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[featherear .]

❧  Her flank rose and fell sharply, a fly landing on her nose. It was too much. She needed to get out. She tried to climb out, leaping up to the edge and digging her claws into the sand, but the loose ground kept giving out on her and sending her tumbling back. If only there was someone who was there to catch her. She began hyperventilating, trying to look away but no matter where she looked, the image of his body still burned. She felt a tear run down her cheek.

❧  "Help!" Featherear yowled, panting as she looked up at the sky. She felt so dizzy and disoriented and terrified.

❧  She heard him speak before she saw him, turning her attention immediately on Rhinestonestar the moment his voice carried to her. She swallowed thickly, scrunching her face and trying to relax. She tried to latch onto his voice, looking back up at him and trying to slow her breathing. The smell was overwhelming, making her feel nauseous. The shecat dug her claws in the sand underneath her and let out a slow breath.

❧  "I- I'm going to try to jump up again. Can- can you try to grab me? I've been trying but I think if- if someone helped I'd get out. I- please." The medcat's voice cracked as she looked up at Rhine.

❧  Counting down and letting Rhine know she was going to jump, the silver tabby leaped, scrabbling at the sand again.

[RHINESTONE.]

The panic in the air was palpable as Featherear scrambled below, and Rhine struggled not to be overwhelmed by it himself. Although he had obviously not been as close to Haystripe as the tom's own kin had been, Rhine could still remember him as a kind and great warrior. To see his body in such a state, and to think about what had happened... it made the leader's chest grow tight, and his paws unsteady. He clenched his jaw, briefly focusing on nothing but the feeling of the sand beneath his toes, and the scent of the waves on the air. It was grounding, and when the medicine cat's voice reached him, Rhine was ready. He nodded, calling down to Featherear as he stood at the lip of the hole, "Alright, I can do that! Please... please be careful!" There was no way he'd be able to handle it if Feather herself got hurt, especially so close to the site of her brother's death.

The leader's entire body was tensed as Featherear leaped, and it was only a split second before his head went shooting forward, his teeth digging into the shecat's scruff to grab her. He dug his claws into the earth below him, a shaky sigh leaving his muzzle as he fought valiantly against the gravity trying to drag him down. With a great deal of effort, the tom swung his head around, pulling Feather over to solid ground once again. As he put her back down on all four paws, Rhine let out a relieved breath, trying his hardest not to immediately collapse on his belly. Once he felt a little less unstable, Rhinestone was finally able to grit out, looking over Featherear in concern, "Are... are you alright? I mean... aside from the obvious... I was trying not to grab you too roughly." His teeth had dug in just enough to make sure he had a firm hold on the medic, but what if he had bitten down too hard? His pale gaze flicked to Feather's scruff, looking for any sign of injury, or blood.

RHINESTONESTAR - PALMCLAN - PENNED BY STILLY

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[featherear .]

❧  Featherear panted as she scrabbled at the sand. Between Rhine pulling and her pushing, she could feel the sand running past her paws and finally, with one kick of her back feet and Rhine's head jerking to the side, she felt solid ground and immediately laid down on her side. She laid here for a moment, staring at the ocean waves, her flank rising and falling rapidly, almost like a shecat in labour. She watched the water crash on the shore until she realized that Rhine was speaking to her. Groggily, her head raised and she sat up, shaking the sand from her fur. She hadn't even realized that Rhine might have punctured her scruff.

❧  "Yeah," she spoke, the fur between her shoulders twitching, "I think I should be fine. I don't think you hurt me. Thank you."

❧  Her pale green eyes turned from Rhine to the hole in the sand and she felt her heart sink properly this time, her stomach no longer doing flips so long as she didn't close her eyes and think about the body. So long as she focused on Rhine. With the image of someone alive and in front of her, the thought of her brother was a distant memory. For the time being. She swallowed and looked down at her paws, nose slightly scrunching as she tried not to cry. She thought, distantly, that she shouldn't in front of Rhine, of the clan leader.

❧  But could he blame her? She knew he lost a sibling in the hurricane too, and knew that he probably would have reacted the same if he, too, found his sibling's body in a hole at the beach. She shuddered a breath and looked away, staring hard at a crab that was digging in the sand. As if it were the crab's fault. She wanted the sand to give way and swallow her whole, now. Taking that walk was a bad idea, and she regretted every. Single. Second.

❧  Finally, the medcat looked back at Rhine, a sadness in her eyes she had not held since her parents passed. "I- I'd like to hold a vigil for him, a proper one." Her voice felt shattered, like the words she spoke were pieces of a puzzle that needed to be organized by Rhine himself.

[RHINESTONE.]

Rhine simply watched Featherear for a moment, wondering how to properly proceed. He could see the rise and fall of her form as she breathed heavily, and he hesitated, his claws digging gently against the sand beneath him. Yes, he had lost Redpond not all that long ago, but finding her body had been relatively peaceful. She had simply washed up on the shore, and while his heart had sunk considerably when he found her, at least she hadn't been in a state of decomposition. He had no idea what the proper route of comforting would be, and so, he instead found himself babbling, "It's... it's no problem, obviously. We can't have you getting hurt... and I'm glad that you're out of there." I'm sure that you're more glad... His mind helpfully added on, although he couldn't help wincing at the thought. He really needed to get better at this sympathy thing, considering he was the leader now, and he would need to be the voice of reason and comfort to everyone.

On some level, Rhine was sure that there were some within the clan that would think the medicine cat falling apart was a cardinal sin. After all, the medicine cat was also supposed to represent a voice of reason and comfort, almost like a therapist. Rhinestone didn't understand that, however. He couldn't imagine forcing the medcat to simply never feel anything she needed to feel, considering Featherear was a valued member of the group. With his tail swaying from side to side behind him, Rhinestonestar nodded simply before he spoke, "I have no problem with you holding a vigil for him. Haystripe was a valued member of the clan, and none of us will have any issue with helping him pass on to Starclan." They had already held so many vigils as of late for so many different warriors that had passed on as a result of the hurricane. Hopefully, however, this would be one of the last vigils that they held for quite a long amount of time – Rhine didn't want them losing anybody else, especially not so soon after they had finally gotten back onto their feet.

RHINESTONESTAR - PALMCLAN - PENNED BY STILLY

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