run [ joining ]

[adomania]

[align=center][div style="borderwidth=0px; width: 55%; line-height:115%; text-align: justify;font-family: calibri;"]If someone were to tell her that with each step she took, a second of her past faded away from her memory, she would have believed them. It was the only viable explanation as to why each time she tried to reach back into her mind there seemed to be nothing but fuzzy static that dissolved into frustration the longer that Thea attempted to stay in her subconscious. There was nothing there for her to pick up on as if her past was erased from the very history of the world itself, like she had been shaped from nothing itself and released onto the mortal realm on a whim. She could not remember having any parents, nor any siblings or friends or *anyone* that had shaped her into what she was today, but there was still a tug at her core that seemed only explainable by some invisible connections she could not fathom. She was tethered to emotional reactions she could not explain, constantly pulled one direction or another simply because there was no other path for her to follow.

Some days she felt alive, others she felt like nothing more than a dream, as faint and ephemeral as the smell of flowers at the end of spring. She felt *fragile* like them, surely, constantly one step away from breaking. It took only the weight of something strong enough to crush something so beautiful and to watch it die, and her memories (or lack thereof, in this case) seemed closer and closer to this burden with each day. There was nothing there for her to remember but the sky, the plains, the flowers and rocks that all carried her to where she stood at this present moment, living in it simply because she could not live in any other. Other moments didn't exist. She was starting to fear they never *had*, although something inside of her chest urged otherwise. She had lost something, or someone, sometime before... but Thea had no ways of knowing what that was or when it had happened. Or if it ever had.

All she knew was that all this theoretical thinking only ever led to headaches, and she wasn't sure why she was still doing it when it hadn't changed for a long while now. The more she thought back onto memories that didn't exist, the worse the migraines always got, until it took a lot of self-restraint and patience to simply continue on (and to try and cure the headaches whenever they arose when she conveniently forgot the one rule that helped her survive. Don't think. Don't *wish*. Simply be, and things would go alright.) Being was hard, though, when you weren't sure *how* to be... but Thea had gotten along alright enough. For now. Maybe the plan was only a short term one, but it was better than nothing.

Sadly she was still getting a hang of following that particular rule, and today seemed to be a far more introspective day than usual. The headaches started almost instantly, not even halfway through on her travels to some undetermined destination, and it had caused her to come to an untimely halt just outside of the Sunhaven border, unaware of their presence. It was just her luck that she managed to stop *before* trespassing, though, although it was almost a guarantee someone would see her nevertheless, quite obviously in pain.

[guts]

LION-SPIRITED { .:*・°☆ } ——— [size=10pt]info

Sometimes ignorance was bliss. Personally, Ymir would have preferred to forget about her past, to leave all that misfortune and bitterness behind. To her, her history was nothing but a boulder weighing her down. It was the origin of all her fears, and mostly her anger. It was why she led her life for her and not for anybody else--she was the author of her own damn story. Nobody could tell her what to do.

It was easy to ignore the loneliness that came with such a way of living. Most of the time, anyway. At night sometimes, when her mind began to wander, she thought back to everything that had happened. She wondered how it could have been different, how things could have changed. But, in the end, none of it mattered. It was done and over with and she was left alone with the pieces of herself to put back together. So far she thought she was doing a shit job.

Walking had become a sort of routine, thought it wasn't like she intended for it to be. It just seemed like her brain was all over the place recently, unsure what to do or where to go next. Should she stay in Sunhaven for a while? Should she go on some self-discovery journey? At this point she wasn't sure what her purpose was, why she was still alive after being killed. She questioned it plenty, asking whatever force or deity out there. What was she meant to be doing here?

Her pondering was cut short, however, a sudden smell catching her nose. She turns, glancing around before lifting her head to the wind and taking a long sniff. It definitely wasn't one of her clan-mates, the wolf deciding to go on and check it out. Maybe something interesting was going on. Much to her disappointment, it didn't seem that way, just someone on the border. Though she was definitely nice on the eyes.

"Hey," she calls to catch the other's attention, paws carrying her forward until she was standing just in front of her. "you look like shit. What're you doing out here?" real smooth indeed. She did look pretty uncomfortable, though. Unfortunately Ymir wasn't at all educated in healing or herbs. Hopefully it wasn't too serious. "character's speech."