this pattern of pain . private

[ARGUS]

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IT'S A WICKED TWISTED FABLE

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Anger came easy, to a beast who had known nothing but hate, fear and anger- anger was as easy as breathing. It was the warmth in their soul and the fire in their heart, it was the red god's claws grasping, digging deep inside their form. The only thing argus had ever come close to believing in- the red god: It's influence was over her rage, her anger, and like any wrathful god forgotten by it's devotee's, it wielded it's power with liberal meanings of the world "restraint". But anger was just an emotion- born of fear and lack of understanding. In it's wake argus felt hollow and empty- numb to the point- apathetic and grey. Arger was a hellfire that burned everything it touched quickly, leaving ash to choke on- leaving scant any traces but ash.

Argus tasted ash on her tongue now. Hollow with the feeling, once giddy- Adrenalin filled, now a vacancy that was filled only by the hollow chill of her adopted sire- grimm. It reminded her of his scales. Black or angry red with a creeping chill not unlike a shaded stone. Persistent despite the warmth of the sun atop it. Argus' form despite it had always been warm, varying a few degree's higher than her lupine form- a growing hearth of touchable scales despite the color of their hide famous for repelling it. Even now in the chill of november argus was warm, much warmer than usual- and before it became chilly enough to ghost fog breath argus' words brought a mist from their jaw's not unlike a dragon about to exhale it's own embers.

Argus was angry. Angry at ichigo for reasons she could decipher but choose not to. Otherwise each fault would crumble under her steely claws like sand in a desert- lost in the many- many fallacies argus had once built her life around. A castle made out of sand and burned into glass- pressured into gem at it's foundations but cracking near the top point. Hollow down to the core. Argus did not think about it- think about how much it hurt when Ichigo faded from her life, not necessarily because she needed him- she dealt with her own hollow herself. Killed it and unified with it in equal measure that she doubted the once captain commander to even think of- ha!

Everything that made argus who she was- her past- her names- her family- her loved ones- were gone. It was selfish to think she lived for them, but she lived because they couldn't. It was selfish to live for herself, but she lived in spite of them all, those mortals who died young and left a stain on her- made her hurt- and hurt and know nothing but hurt with the brief reprieve of a timid joy- for what? a chance? To know the feeling of being loved only for it to be ripped away- to be reminded once again what it was like- to be a monster?

She was angry and wraithful and a beast to all that she loved- she rebelled against the thought of living for them so she lived in spite of them- and once- she had lived in spite of ichigo too. For all her loved ones she had thought killing them herself would e a sweeter release then letting them leave her- and she had killed each by spitting in their graves, in their names. They abandoned her and to some- she had abandoned them. Like a small frightened child trying to cover up it's tracts- in this new world she pretended none of that existed, and now- Lucifer's support was a calming ease. Killua's quiet acceptance and regret helped built that bridge that cause this spiral- and ichigo?

Ichigo could not cure the madness within her, she knew that he would try- but the beast inside her- the hollow was a part of her- and it did not need to be controlled. The thought made her snarl in rage- and as she decended upon the nce leader's den- a snarl lit her face and fire ignited in all ten of her eyes as she stormed the cougar's room- knowing it by the aura that seemed to encase the place when he was presence. Now Argus' own crackled in a silent storm as thunder clashed in her eyes.

He could not control her- and he was wrong for thinking such a thing was possible- she would show him that she was stronger than him- without her Zanpakutō- without her full corporal hollow half- Argus-Zactov-Obscuro-Whisper was stronger and they did not need to be c o n t r o l e d-

Argus, it seemed. Was looking for a fight.

[member=2635]| ICHIGO KUROSAKI |[/member]

[glow=#212121,2,300]She's unstable![/glow]

[W]isker

[| ICHIGO KUROSAKI |]

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ICHIGO KUROSAKI

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i don't fight because i want to win, i fight to win!

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Mistakes and more mistakes. That was all that Ichigo seemed to be made up now over the years. He couldn't seem to get anything right, and when he hesitated others got hurt because of him. Hell, he didn't even know where half of his friends were, and so he half assumed that all of them were dead unless he was given confirmation. If he really wanted to know if they were dead or not, he could simply travel to Soul Society and search from them. If they had made it to Soul Society after all, as there were a couple that could have potentially gone to Hell if they died. Ichigo had no intention of going near a place like that, but if his friend was in need he probably would do it without a second thought. His hesitance usually made those that were close to him distrust him, even if it was a little bit. If it wasn't trust, it just meant that they would end up disappointed in him. What kind of person was he if he couldn't protect the ones that he cared about? Had fate decided that he was just going to sit back and watch what was going to be dished out in front of him? Ichigo was stubborn and usually refused to back down from anything, but even he had his limits to what he was willing to go with. Dealing with what he was, in general, was certainly difficult for him to do. This was because it always leads to trouble or someone getting injured. Ichigo was used to getting injured himself and wasn't at all afraid of having a few gashes here and there over the years. Worrying about his friends and family was basically second nature for him, and that would probably never change either. The last time he had nearly gotten one of his friends killed was probably Cytus.

The hybrid somehow having gotten infected with a Hollow. At the time, Ichigo didn't have any of his powers after being reincarnated into a mortal. He was the leader of the clan that he was brought into of course, but that didn't give him any necessary powers. Cytus was his deputy and was probably going to be the leader after him, that was until the Hollow began to make his friend, the one he watched grow up, and lose his mind. Ichigo had been attacked by Cytus when the other became possessed by his Hollow, and it was obvious that the Hollow held a grudge against him. Most did if they recognized his name or even body. No longer having any of his powers meant that all that Ichigo could do was try to talk Cytus back into taking control. Luckily, with Fraiser around, they were able to gain control of the male before he went around destroying the entire camp. Then Cytus disappeared with Frasier only to return. Now though? He had no idea what had happened to him and feared that if he didn't find him eventually he would become consumed by the Hollow and would no longer be himself anymore. Ichigo had seen before what happened to those that allowed the Hollow to take over, and none of their former self was really left over. It was heartbreaking, and he knew that if he had the powers he could have saved his friend, brought him to Soul Society and fixed him up. There were several instances where Ichigo could have done something. Could have been there to stop something from happening. Yet, he never was. Time never really worked for him, and he was usually late to a lot of events that happened with those that he cared about, he was never in the loop. Ichigo knew with his track record that those that he hadn't been around long enough probably thought he had abandoned them. This wasn't the case, but he knew that his words probably wouldn't be enough to gain their trust again.

Hence how he felt about Argus. A Shinigami turned mostly Hollow. He could tell it by the simple shape of her soul and how it was so much different. She had been through so much, and it had all happened under his rule as Captain Commander. He was supposed to PROTECT his comrades. Look how that turned out. Ichigo wasn't really one to stay near the boardwalk thanks to his fear of the ocean. He didn't sleep in camp either because he felt like if he had a nightmare when he did sleep he didn't want to risk destroying anything when he did wake up. So, he had sheltered himself in a rocky outcrop that sheltered him from the torrential rains that was cascading across Sunhaven. Ichigo could hear his Hollow talking in his head as he was staring outside of the rocky outcrop, not really paying attention to the words the other was saying. He had gotten better at turning the Hollow out, which the other didn't really appreciate. Ichigo didn't care. His eyes obviously weren't really focusing in front of him as his eyelids drooped over his eyes as he tried to let himself rest for once. After the influx of ghosts and having to deal with those and trying to make his powers better, Ichigo had been exhausting himself rarely taking any breaks.

No one said anything though, which he appreciated greatly. It was only when he sensed a familiar presence that he raised his head from his paws. A confused look spread across his facial features as he got up onto his paws, grabbing Zangetsu, as he always did. He looked just outside of his den to the left, and it was there he saw a familiar dragon. He was used to her canine body, but it didn't matter when it came to the soul that was inside of the body. With the way it was fluctuating though, it gave Ichigo an idea that she wasn't exactly happy at this point in time. Ichigo stepped out fully from the place he had been resting in, concern spread across his facial features. He could hear the voices in the back of his stop immediately at the presence of his former comrade. Ichigo still considered her to be a comrade, whether she liked it or not. "Argus..." Ichigo said toward the other his voice trailing off as he spoke her name. He remembered all the different names the other had been called by. He believed he knew the name Obscuro the longest before it changed again. "What happened to you? Please, let me help you." Ichigo questioned the dragon, taking one cautionary step toward the female. They were around five feet apart, but he wanted to make it up to her. Turn her back to being a regular Shinigami, or at least gain control of what she was.

[ARGUS]

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IT'S A WICKED TWISTED FABLE

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This is not her breaking point. Argus has reached that point before- she had broken too many times already to know well enough her limit. She has only ever truly broken twice, to the point that she cried and raged and revolted with the full force of her being at the world. Nothing came from breaking, nothing would come from breaking here, except show that ichigo was right- that she was broken- she was fractured- but she was whole.

Argus knew regret, knew what it was like to kill your kin and to run away from your mistakes. Argus knew regret and it was nothing close to the kind of regret that argus had felt. The kind that made you question your sanity, your life- your home and the people you trust. Having a hollow did not do that so much as her own paranoid mind- hollows are hungry desperate things- the ones with sense even worse. Regret was paces away from running and argus would not make a mistake. Not tonight, not today.

This was anger, not true wraith. Argus knew wraith- obscuro knew wraith. It stilled the beast in her steps and starved her into a quiet grave with ashes in her wake. Argus can still feel the root deep tenseness of their shouldiers, their heart. This does not compare, but it does- it does

A wordless snarl slipped between her jaws. Crooked teeth flashing in the lighting as argus moved the distance was nothing, and within seconds sand was kicked into the air to blind- claws swiping down as he would undoubtedly rear up to get away. Claws hopefully seizing and griping his head before slamming it into the ground. quick, lethal - let me show you power. She snarled again, ugly beast-like more close to a hollow's bellowing roar than a dragon like shriek.

It was nice, to battle someone who might actually prove her match, but she knew that he would let her win this out of pity- and the thought made her seethe. Deep lungfuls of air that shook her frame with a wet rattle in the back of her throat. She has killed many times, she would kill many more but she would never wish it of him- never wish it of someone who's come back to life- come back and still saw the monster as a part of her and still cared. He thought it was his fault and she would not let him think that.

It was time to ease his guilt, and ease her anger.

"do you know what it's like to think someone is dead? To think you are all alone?" She breathed between words, punctuated by the removal of her claws from near him, from reeling back- "do you know what someone does, when they think they are all alone?" a cruel hollow smile, lidded eyes as she withdrawled, pulling in on herself. Softer words, quiet- confessions. "Well, i test my immortality enough as it is, but there are worst things than death."

"There is a part of me, you will never know, and you should be glad. Because it is worse than any hollow you've ever purified, berry-boy." How easy would it be to kill him? to let her own hollow out? Too easy, but this was about control, about restraint- she didn't need help. "and it is mine. I killed before it, and i'll kill after it- but nothing will compare, nothing- will compare to what happened then."

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[glow=#212121,2,300]She's unstable![/glow]

[W]isker