izuku's august cdc tracker

[arcy]

[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]this is where i'll be posting all of izuku's august character development prompts! i'll post them in separate posts below, and i'll update the tracker below. the way i go about the prompts will vary because im Like That

day 1 - loyalty. here. 534 words.
day 2. hurt. here. 863 words.
day 3. snow / whats your character's favorite place to be?. here.
day 4. belief / what does your character fear most?
day 5. fear
day 6. jealousy / what's the worst thing y/c could do to somebody they care about?
day 7. memories / what does y/c do to calm down when stressed?

[arcy]

[div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"][align=center]LOYALTY
[534 words]

Maybe, once a few years ago, or maybe even just one, Izuku's sense of loyalty had been more set in stone. There hadn't been any other factors, had there? It was just .. Izuku and his friends. People he cared about. Anyone. He'd defend them to the end. And this isn't to say that Izuku wouldn't defend people he cared for anymore. Quite the opposite, in fact. For however careful his defense of his friends had been then, it was downright vicious now. No mercy, he'd just tear straight though anyone who dared to speak badly of them. He didn't have time for them. He had enough things to do, things to fret about. Things to learn.
Now .. well, it was a little different now. People were dangerous. A single person, especially. Maybe that was strange. You were stronger in numbers, weren't you? .. Of course you were. Why else would Izuku be where he was? Besides .. things. But one person? They were the most frightening. They were the ones who wouldn't hesitate to hurt you, wouldn't hesitate to betray you or tear you down because there was nothing to stop them. Groups of people, on the other hand, were more reliable. People to fall back on. Unless they all collectively decided to do something, then it wasn't the entire group's fault, was it? Their morals were always more decided, more obvious to the outside eye. Then, it'd just be left into somebody else paws whether or not to avoid them. Izuku had learned this lesson time and time again, until it was drilled in. It was why he trusted his old group not to hurt him. It was why, when he'd left, he immediately sought out another one. Loyalty. Izuku may not have been loyal enough to his old group, simply tugged away as he was. But .. well. That was harder to apply here, was it not? He was already so deeply rooted in Snowbound that it'd take maybe more effort than people would expect to pry him away.
Maybe that was to be expected. Izuku had lost that sense of loyalty when he was alone. Because there was nothing to be loyal to, in the wilds. Nothing to be loyal to that wouldn't get him killed. He couldn't be loyal to his morals or his friends or a single soul. And that had .. hurt. He'd always been a loyal person. He'd been loyal to Kacchan for all his life, despite the shit he'd been put through. Despite there having been no reason to stay loyal to his childhood friend/bully. He'd been loyal to his classmates, his friends, at UA. And yes, perhaps Izuku's loyalties had shifted a little. He was tired. He was tired of all of his classmates showing up. He still cared for them, of course, and his loyalties hadn't focused off of them entirely. But it made it more complicated to focus on his clanmates when he can't help but file them in different categories. He may have friends by his sides, friends besides Atbash and Cry and whatever other clanmates had practically disappeared in smoke, but it just left him feeling more split than ever, unfortunately.

[arcy]

[div style="0px; width:500px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"][align=center]HURT
[863 words]

Izuku's life was always made up of hurt. Of course it was. One misery after the other, he was always beaten down mercilessly. There'd been days when he'd wondered if it'd ever get better, if there'd ever be a day he'd be safe. .. Izuku knew better, now. Knew that there'd never be a day where everything felt good and safe and protected. It'd taken a long time for him to let go of that hope, but .. Izuku supposes you can't fault him for wanting that much.
The first hurt, of course, starts when he's a kid. He was diagnosed as quirkless -- that was the first one. And then .. his life just crashed around him. He was just four years old, and his father leaves because his son is a disappointment. Izuku can't remember his father's face, or anything about him. He remembers their family still got funds from him, but he never came back. And then Kacchan started hurting him. It was just little things, at first. His friend would shove him or tease him and it hurt. And then Kacchan dubbed him Deku and then those little shoves became sparking palms and burning skin. .. Somehow, despite the transition, Izuku maintained those scars, right under messy green fur. At least they were hard to tell apart from all the rest of his faded scars, besides the sheer age of them.
Izuku grew up without friends, after that. That hurt. Kacchan wouldn't let him have friends, would chase away the ones who were nice to him at all. And the ones who tried to be nice were a minority, anyways. A good majority of the school either pretended he didn't exist, or joined the crowd of faceless .. bullies. Bullies. What a strange word. He hadn't really considered them bullies, before. But, then again, he'd considered Kacchan a reluctant friend for a long time. 'Childhood friend' .. Izuku didn't even remember when he was friends with him. All he'd known was hurt.
.. It'd gotten worse over time, of course. Kacchan had thrown his journal out the window. Izuku had gotten attacked by a villain and he'd been powerless. .. And then All Might told him he couldn't be a hero. That'd hurt a lot. But he'd known it'd been coming, anyways. He'd just been denying the truth all along. .. Later, after throwing himself out to save Kacchan, All Might changed his mind, of course, but it'd still hurt. The training he'd endured had hurt too, of course, but it was a different type of hurt. He'd always felt lighter, if sore, afterwards, because he was getting better. Closer to being a hero.
UA was better. Training there hurt, but there were less emotional wounds. Except, uh. A lot of things. USJ, for one. The Hero Killer. Training Camp. Kamino Ward. .. Other things. Those were all pretty bad, and he kept on breaking his bones. But at least he'd felt content. Lighter. Happy.
.. Things, of course, changed, when he'd died. He'd woken up in a pool of his own blood as a cat, and he'd been alone and scared. After that, the hurt just hadn't stopped. One mishap after the other, it just didn't end. It was like the bullying, except this was real and uncontrolled and they were trying to kill him. Hurt him for reason he could discern. More than a few times he'd almost bled out and died just because he couldn't treat his wounds. He knows the focus and fear and blood of battle, and ever after battle, better than anything else. The crackle of electricity as he snaps back and maybe that's why Izuku defaults to aggression, these days. If kind, soft words or assurances fail him, then it must be because he's not good at it. But what was Izuku good at, anymore? Nothing. Nothing except for snapping back with witty words meant to aggravate somebody. He doesn't mean to snap at people or upset them, he really doesn't. But he does anyways, and the lack of control? That hurts, too. He's not good enough.
Physical hurt? He'd gotten a lot of that since he'd joined the clans. In less doses, but the doses were pretty large. He ruined both of his legs and his fights had bigger repercussions because people had more powers here. He had powers, too, of course. That didn't mean Izuku had practiced them -- he hadn't had time to risk it, before. And now his practice just got him hurt. Sad how most of his hurt, here, came from his history and himself.
.. He'd lost friends, since joining clans. Not to death. Not to anything. Just to time. It'd only been a few months. .. He'd left behind a friend in his old group. He only had one friend there, luckily. But here .. well, they were the ones leaving him, because Izuku was here to stay. Like .. Harrison, or Natasha. Or .. maybe even Locket, before he'd joined the clans. But .. he'd gotten used to seeing people one day and then never seeing them again, even though it'd hurt. He misses them. Of course he does. Izuku isn't sure if he could just .. not miss them, even if he tried.