but she felt nothing and that’s all she needed, to finally feel nothing | p

[Margaery]

[color=#b14767] ❁  ❁  ❁

There wasn't anything quite like watching another individual succumb to their demons. The allure of darkness was liberating. It tempted many with its promises of relief. With its promises of power. The bond detailed Suiteheart's own struggles with her personal darkness and, excited to finally have the real fun start, Margaery permitted a twisted smirk of her own to dance across chocolate-hued lips. She was but a domestic cat - fragile, petite, as pretty as the roses the old her had once cared so passionately for - but she had been trained to kill and could, with surprising ease, take down close to anyone who dare cross her path. That wasn't to say that she didn't possess trepidation thinking about the situation though; Suite had always been a wildcard, and she knew firsthand that the ursine was capable of doing anything should she set her mind to it.

She supposed it was up to her to keep said mind frazzled then.

A brilliant idea came to her in that moment and, channeling every ounce of the real Margaery she could (halfway permitting her to slip through the cracks so that her performance would be that much better) burst into hysterics. [color=#b14767]"Dearie... Please... Help me..." She choked out between sobs, gasping for breath now, her lithe figure trembling. She was a master of facades and she had mercifully told Suiteheart that bit of information, though she doubted her wife had heeded what she now viewed as more of a warning. She was dumb, faux Margaery decided, and she could easily manipulate her if she just pulled the right strings to do so.

It was indeed true that she had returned stronger. Darker. She had been locked away and forced to lie in wait for close to a year now, badgering the real Margaery with such intense consistency that she knew she would garner control eventually. The kind, queenly version of herself often ran away from accusations and emotional pressure. She bore too many wounds from her toxic mother and father and thus had developed a nasty habit of repressing everything; even herself. The Beast did not lie when she confessed that she was a manifestation of all the hurt that Margaery had acquired in her life. Whether it originated from Nik or Caroline, Suiteheart or the Souls... it was there... and it had made her bitter and detached and hungry for revenge.

As she cried, she could feel the real Margaery settling within her new confines, too tired to fight suddenly. She was aware of how quick the chocolate point was to simply give up... but this was a new record. Did Margaery not care anymore? Or was she willing to finally allow their beings to rejoin so that they could coexist as a regal monster? I give up... You win.... A voice, undoubtedly Margaery's, whispered in the back of her mind. For a moment, the Beast was shocked (in her own, apathetic and uncaring way, of course). Was that really all it took?

Suiteheart must have truly broken the real Margaery if she was that eager to escape.

Perhaps... perhaps faux Margaery wasn't as entirely to blame for this unfortunate situation as she believed.

Perfect.

The laugh that fell from her wife's jaws did not frighten her. Not anymore. She realized, with sudden clarity, what had just transpired and further detached herself from all emotion. She didn't need it. Margaery didn't need it... all it was doing was further complicating her end of all of this. Fear was relative, she decided in that moment, and if she and real Margaery reformed, Suiteheart would succeed in killing the both of them. That was a sacrifice that had to made to ensure that this ugly bear truly lost it.

[color=#b14767]"Suite... darling..." The voice that responded was soft and tender and belonged to the real Margaery. Her tears were drying once more and her eyes, though still dark, appeared softer. There were no notes of her own, signature brand of fear as she gazed unflinchingly at her wife, carefully wording out an almost impossible request in her mind. [color=#b14767]"You need to.. You need to let me go. You can't kill me, Suite.. because I gave into her idea of.. of... joining back together into one entity. It's for the best..."

The bear continued to speak, and unable to actively deal with the situation anymore, Margaery permitted her beastly side to resume control. The monster did not get attached to many but, as strange as it sounded, felt oddly protective of the Margaery that had fought against her so passionately. She was tired and this... this joining would alleviate nearly all of her issues immediately.

[color=#b14767]"If you know her so well," The monster began slowly, deciding that she would no longer find herself distracted from the true task at hand, [color=#b14767]"Then why don't you know anything about her family? You're still under the impression that her mother is a golden saint of love and caring, aren't you? You're still convinced that the capacity for kindness exists within the Mikaelson's when, frankly my love, it doesn't. Let me be the firsthand example of that."

[color=#b14767]"I'm not ruining her life.. you're too dumb to admit that you're the problem. You're selfish and crass and are hardly fit to be near someone like Margaery and yet, all she has done for you is bend over backwards to ensure you're happy. Allow me to help her. She's been running from the true version of herself for far too long. She doesn't need humanity. She doesn't need petty emotions. She is more intelligent than you'll ever know," the vampiress continued confidently. She was almost there, she could sense the muted struggle through their bond.  All she needed was a little push.

She hadn't realized that said push would come from a statement she had made so coolly, so calmly, earlier.

[color=#b14767]"Ah! Finally, you've come to play!" She exclaimed, shifting into a more offensive position herself. If Suiteheart wished to fight than she would give her what she wanted, halfway wanting to die simply so she could wholly and completely wreck the polar bear her opposite. [color=#b14767]"I knew you were under there somewhere! You're the murderous side of her. I suppose we all have one, pleasure to meet you acquaintance." This was a game to Margaery now and she was eager to truly see how big a bluff Suite was.

If any.

The results of this encounter would be a win-win for Margaery, she decided in that moment. She either escaped with her life or perished once more beneath the massive claws of her wife, effectively ruining their relationship. She was, in her own monstrous and twisted way, ecstatic. [color=#b14767]"It's ironic, don't you think," She started nonchalantly, as if she didn't actually care about the words she was so casually extending to her wife, [color=#b14767]"The real versions of ourselves are too damn hurt and broken to deal with the pain that they inflicting upon each other. Well, the real version of Margaery used to be..."

There was a pause and then, another cruel giggle forged from ice itself.

[color=#b14767]"This is the real version of Margaery now. I've finally won her over with my charm. But then again, she's easily won over isn't she? All the girls in the world and yet she choice you. I almost feel bad for her! She could have done so much better."

Suiteheart, if you're still in there I want to apologize. She's... right. You truly don't know the real me. You don't how much I've wanted this. It's exhausting fighting against who you really are and I know now that my attempts at being good were simply that- attempts. I tried so desperately to craft an image of myself as the royal, giving queen that I began running from my real identity. This tragedy has befallen my entire family- my mother, my father, my aunt and uncle... I don't resent them anymore.

I'm with them now...

Suiteheart, believe me when I say that this feeling of darkness is freeing. So if you're going to kill me just know that I understand and that I'm bound to return eventually but...

She trailed off. She would not entertain Suiteheart's monster with a final testament to their love. She wasn't quite sure if she knew what love even was anymore. Her emotions were distant at best and she was rapidly falling out of touch with not only them, but herself. She supposed that was because of her willingness to simply succumb to the requests of her darker side. They were once again rejoining and with that, came a subsequent loss in Margaery's once highly acute emotional intelligence. She was fading away and admittedly, she wouldn't have wanted it any other way. This departure of her old self and birth of her new self had been in the making for a long time, and she was just glad that she didn't need to dedicate all of her time and energy to fighting against the urges that her beastly side so frequented pushed upon her.

[color=#b14767]"If it's a fight that you want, darling, than who am I to deny you that?" She taunted, tail lashing in the absent air behind her. Copper-hued eyes would sweep the figure of the bear for a moment, contemplating the best place to strike. She supposed that her wisest move would to be just going straight for the jugular. She was fast. She was nimble. And if she could get close enough, she could end all this petty drama immediately.

[color=#b14767]"Prepare to die, Suiteheart."

And with that, she attempted to launch herself at the bear, for once feeling no semblance of repercussions.

[Suiteheart]

[align=center][div style="width: ##px; height: ##px;"]

Her feral side had been something Suiteheart had warred with often. When she was alone and it was her against the world, she caught it whispering in her mind. It offered her release. It tempted her greatly, telling her that letting it take over would relieve her of stress. It told her it would recede within her soul once she found her family. Despite wanting to take the offer, she refused. She knew what this side of her was capable of, and she was not willing to risk it.

Not then anyway.

Now was a completely different story. For one, Margaery was gone. The memory of her wife was all that remained now, and she had began to push those aside in favor of the new Margaery. Thoughts of happiness and love were slowly being overwritten with anguish and strong hatred. This was no fault of Suite's; it was her subconscious simply piecing together all the recent events. It knew all the damage (perhaps unwillingly, perhaps willingly) her wife had caused her as of late. This part of Suiteheart was guided by pain, and its only purpose in her life was to bandage the wounds and heal the hurt - but it did not necessarily go about this in the correct way all the time.

When she was younger -- when she wasn't Suiteheart --, she had had such trouble controlling her anger. She was quick to explode. Tantrums were common in her kithood, and they stayed with her as she matured into almost apprenticeship. She was always so angry, so hurt. And she couldn't explain why though she had a few ideas. Her parents weren't horrible, but they often neglected her in favor of her older sister and brother. These feelings of being unwanted only presented itself as rage, and as she was so young, she had no way of coping with these feelings. So that was where this side of herself began to form all those years ago.

When she left home, she had sought refuge in the city. It was somewhere entirely different; it was safe. However, she only found herself more alone than before she left home. She was angry again. Angry at herself. She tore apart anything she could get her paws on, and she had gained the reputation amongst the ner'er-do-wellers as someone who knew how to mess things up well. She was too young to know any better, and she perhaps would have never known better if she hadn't met them.

Benzedrine. Donnie. Horseshoe. Sandman. They had fixed her. They had taken her anger away. Or so she thought. Benzedrine was a doctor, and she believed he healed her broken heart. Donnie taught her how to be a better person or so she thought. Horseshoe taught her how to reverse her bad luck and make the best of terrible situations, but she hadn't held onto that. Sandman? Well, unbeknownst to her, he destroyed most of her memories, replacing them with fake rememberances. The only good thing he had done was try to take away her memories of knowing only anger, but he was not as talented as he thought; he had forced her anger deep within young Suiteheart, setting the trap for her future self. He had also changed her name, but she would never know. She was left in the dark about a lot of things that he had done.

Though she had once believed she would never again deal with all the anger of her youth, here it was, just like a year ago. She cursed Sandman, or she would have had she known.

So she continued to rage. She was angry at herself, at Margaery, at Lil, at Lissa, at Eli. She was angry with her parents, her siblings, her former friends. She was disgusted with the world and the way it constantly hurt her. She was born to fight and destroy, and she would not be held back. Not again. Not ever again. Her feral side would not be so easily pursued to return to the depths of Suite's soul as it had so much work to do.

"Quiet, liar," she growled, baring teeth. Had she a long tail, she would've been lashing it wildly. She didn't want to hear faux or real Margaery's words of lies. She had to keep Suite safe. Suite had been hurt by this monster time and time again, and she would not allow Suite to be hurt anymore. She would keep Suite safe, even if it meant keeping her true soul slumbering for the rest of eternity.

However, when it sounded as though the real Margaery was breaking through, the bear stopped. It's growls lowered into grumbling. It turned its head to one side as if to block out the noise. It was almost as if Suite were trying to reawaken, but the feral being refused. "I won't let go-" she swore as the true Suiteheart gained some semblance of control again. The mother bear quieted her back down, and without missing a beat, added, "Until I kill you."

She didn't give a damn that the two were in cahoots now. No, if anything, that only made her task easier. It was literally killing two birds with one stone.

As the other spoke of knowing or not knowing, the bear shook her head. She didn't have time for this. "Margaery had told Suite time and time again about how cruel her parents were. Quite the sob story, if you ask me. We all have problems. The only thing that matters is how you deal with it." She pouted, forcing the most facetious form of sympathy inside her voice as she commented, "And poor, little Margaery can't deal with her own family because she can't handle it." She shook her head. "We met Caroline, long ago. Long before the islands crumbled, before even Suiteheart and Margaery had finished planning their wedding. Caroline was sweet, kind. If she's the bitch you both claim her to be, then why didn't she harm Suite? Why didn't she try to edge her way back into Margaery's life to destroy her?

"Or did this happen?" Her tone was even, oddly calm. This notion genuinely confused her as she had met the exact opposite of what Margaery had always described to Suite. Her understanding of the issue was not wholly complete, and it never truly would be. The only things she knew in this life were what slipped through the cracks of Suite's mind. It was just bits and pieces of this and that that she had sewn together as she sat in wait.

"You know what I find funny?" she queried, voice gaining an edge as Margaery threw accusations into her face. Her eyes were narrowed and sharp. "You're constantly telling me what Suite did or didn't do. Why didn't Margaery leave Suire if it were so fucking awful...? And what about Margaery? Let's start with the fact that her weakness had destroyed Suite ten times over." She was on the move now, pacing back and forth. It was intimidating as large as she was.  "She's lied to her, left her, forgotten her. She's given up on Suite more than once too," she growled, spitting the words like venom. "Margaery has told her that she was never good enough for Suite time and time again. Even if Suite wouldn't believe it, I did. Margaery's a wilted rose - has been for a long, long time. The only thing to do now her cut her stem and throw her in the trash. She serves no purpose here and neither do you."

The polar bear continued moving back and forth, too caught up in her own rage to stand still. "Mm, and it was a pleasure knowing you." She scanned the other, noting weak spots as she went. She was about to comment on the state of the other's lungs, but Margaery began to speak again.

She snorted, a small laugh coming forth as she was fed what she believed to be a lie. "Oh, if only that were the true case. Suite tried. She tried to talk and work through things, but Margaery never met her halfway. Margaery would cry and talk about how bad she was, about how much self work she needed to complete. Suite tried. Margaery didn't care. And I doubt she does now that you're here." She huffed, growing tired of words. She needed action. She needed something or she was going to explode. "I would say the same is true of Suite, babe. She had so many others, some that were even Margaery's best friends. She even had a few men approached her, but she settled. She settled for a bitch with an affinity for destroying her heart. How sad. But it's good that I'm here now to make sure that never happens again."

Both sides of Suiteheart could sense Margaery attempting to communicate, but it was all for naught. The real Suite could hear her, yes, but the words were far off. It was as though Margaery was whispering from across the room. It was inaudible murmurings. She felt her wife, but she couldn't grasp what the words were saying. She tried and tried, and she even attempting to ask her primal side what the message was though she was only greeted by silence.

'Margaery? Where are you? Why do you sound so far away?'

The message only reached the feral beast. The polar bear squashed most of the message, though she was not quick enough to kill the entire thing. 'Margaery... Why...?' was all that would pass through the bond. Now on high alert for anything else, this new Suiteheart guarded the connection carefully. There would be no more communications as long as she were around.

"Like I said earlier, it was a pleasure to know you." Cold, dark laughter dripped from her lips after she spoke. It was play time now. She would enjoy toying with her victim before murmdering her with ease. While Suite wasn't much for torture, primal Suiteheart loved it.

As the feline lunged for her throat, the bear attempted to catch her midair by the front leg. If successful, she would slam her to the ground, smirking all the while.

[color=#73B1B7][b]"That all? I wanted a challenge."

[Margaery]

[color=#b14767] ❁  ❁  ❁

Some are born beasts.

Some achieve beastliness.

And others... others have beasts thrust upon them.

Margaery had always been of the thought that nobody was born innately evil. Even now, as she relished in the darkness that coursed through her veins and clouded her thoughts and inhibitions, she was acutely aware of the fact that she hadn't been brought into the world this way. She'd been the only survivor of one of Caroline and Nik's last litters and, according to her mother's diaries, had been their pride and joy. She had siblings from Caroline's past lovers and such, but they were older and knew not of the tiny kitten - the tiny immortal - that had been crafted from the unification of both light and dark. Good and evil. The traits that Caroline and Niklaus embodied and their marriage and love, their picturesque, perfect love was, and always would be, a living representation of their very essences. To say that Margaery both possessed an unyielding light and unwavering darkness within herself was, well, an understatement. 

But her father, ever the family man, had left his wife and their remaining child to pursue the evil that guided him- forgetting his own desire to be a father. A husband. A better man. She remembered Caroline's anger upon being discovered that once again, she was never anyone's priority. She remembered witnessing the struggle her mother faced as she tried and tried and tried to keep herself together, not for Margaery but for herself... She couldn't allow herself to break again. But Caroline did break. She remembered the day so vividly, remembered how her mother could not live with the very thought that she and all of her infinite optimism and happiness had never been good enough for anyone. She remembered her sky blue eyes - the prettiest eyes she had ever seen until she looked into Suiteheart's - morphing and changing until they were the same shade of crimson from the blood in which she loved so dearly. She remembered her mother abandoning her, but not before leaving her with a few remaining words... words that have haunted her since.

"You'll find yourself like this one day. It's our curse. We weren't made monsters, Margaery sweet, we end up doing it to ourselves."

She had actively tried to not succumb  to the darkness that Caroline had foretold, first feeling its influence shortly after she was left with absolutely no one. It provided her with a guiltless way of escaping her suddenly tragic life and she, as naive as ever, nearly took it up on the offer. But she fought and she fought and she fought until she began a new chapter of her life. A chapter that provided her comfort. Love. Happiness. Purpose. A chapter that provided her with Suiteheart and a new family, a family not stained by the dark blot of evil.

Or so she believed.

Suiteheart had her own darkness to combat- one far angrier and feral than the monster that Margaery now was. Her cunning, cool intelligence symbolized ice whereas her wife with all of her rage surely was fire. They could not exist in these states without hurting each other beyond repair or worse... killing each other. Just moments ago, the thought had been of delightful nature to Margaery. Now... it did nothing but distress her. She frequented from feeling both everything and nothing and in that, was growing both confused and disoriented. If this was what the Beast had ensured when she coaxed her into finally reforming, she didn't want it. Not anymore. Not even if it took away her ability to feel the crushing, suffocating reality of this god awful situation.

Or perhaps the Beast was granting what surely would be some of she and Suite's last remaining moments together. If the bear succeeded in killing her as she believed she would, then Margaery had decided that she would not return to her. Not after the pain that she so ignorantly caused the being she loved more than anything. One moment ago, she had been so detached and distant, caring for nothing save her self preservation. Now, she resembled nothing more than a frightened child who was struggling to understand why she no longer resembled the monster she despised.

"Quiet, liar."

Her thoughts were immediately dismissed as were her emotions. How peculiar, she thought faintly, feeling more like a passenger to her body than anything else suddenly. [color=#b14767]"You won't kill me. You won't kill me because then you'll never be who you truly are again. Bastillepaw will hate you. Hazel will hate you. Lilyspoise will hate you. Nobody likes a monster, Suiteheart, and you won't kill me because neither do you. I'm what's keeping you halfway coherent right now, you know that right? Or are you far too caught up in your own dumb world that you can't realize that?" She demanded, utilizing a voice of authority. It was empty, hollow, but reminiscent of who Margaery was at her core- a divine entity.

She was heavily perplexed though, not having anticipated that when they rejoined, she would still have the faintest capacity to care for her children.  She expected to feel nothing and admittedly, that was all she wanted, to feel nothing. It would be easier that way. It would be easier to die that way. As much as she wanted to insist that Suite was bluffing, she knew that she wasn't. The beast her opposite had exercised the ability to stake her once, almost removing her from the mortal world once and for all, she knew that the same ability still lurked beneath her ravenous surface.

[color=#b14767]"Because, darling, Margaery threatened to kill Caroline if she even so much as looked at you wrong. Caroline was an immortal just as I am, but I far surpassed her strength and power. She was merely married to my father, I inherited his graces," She explained casually, stifling the sudden surge of emotion that suddenly crashed over her. They'll dissipate soon, Her mind assured carefully, though she noted even a note of apprehension within that. Wonderful, it appeared as if she'd truly never feel completely empty if they were to remain joined.

What Margaery in all of her anticipation did not see coming next was Suiteheart's words. They hit her like a truck and she, unable to even process for a moment, nearly shut down.

"Let's start with the fact that her weakness had destroyed Suite ten times over."

No. No. No. She wasn't weak. She wasn't weak. But she was... She was and that was why Suiteheart was suffering right now. Her weakness attributed to why she had lost her wife.

"She's lied to her, left her, forgotten her. She's given up on Suite more than once too."

She recalled with painful accuracy lying to Suiteheart about Lil. About herself. About her family. She remembered crafting a life around her that she believed did not have the capacity to harm her wife. She supposed she was wrong, wrong and misguided. Of course she was. [color=#b14767]"I've never left her or purposefully forgotten her. You're the liar. I cared so much for her and I sacrificed so much for her. Fuck you. Fuck you!"

It seemed like the opposite of what she desired was occurring and, rather than feeling nothing, she felt everything so immensely, so passionately. She wanted to rip this Suiteheart's throat out. She wanted to destroy her until there was nothing left and then, she wanted to destroy herself.

"Margaery's a wilted rose - has been for a long, long time. The only thing to do now her cut her stem and throw her in the trash. She serves no purpose here and neither do you."

The bear was an extension of Suiteheart's self conscious. Arguably, it was what Margaery believed were her true thoughts and feelings.

That knowledge alone devastated her wholly and completely and not even the Monster could control the waves of absolute grief that practically consumed her being. So that was what Suiteheart truly thought of her... Why was she surprised? She had self-destructed and she had brought this upon herself. She was nothing but a living, breathing example of the curse Caroline had ever so dutifully reminded her of. Her mother hadn't made her a monster, that much was true... she had done it all to herself.

For a few moments, Margaery lacked even the means to respond, wanting so desperately to cry but not finding it within herself to. Find your voice, Her mind instructed, Keep fighting, don't give up.

But how was she supposed to persevere when her life kept crashing down on her? She was never offered relief or release and even the Monster and all of its wisdom seemed to silently be processing the situation. She would give anything to be chained and confined in a corner of her own mind rather than to be living this nightmare. Why couldn't her Beast have waited? Why couldn't she have been present when all that Margaery knew and fought for was uprooted with a simple statement?

"Margaery... why?"

It was all she got through the bond and somehow, it broke her even more.

[color=#b14767]"Because Suiteheart... I'm a monster. I've done nothing but hurt you. I.. I deserve th-"

She was pinned to the ground suddenly, idly aware of a dull aching in one of her forelegs.

A soft sigh fell from her lips and her eyes shut momentarily. When they reopened, they were not copper, not black, but that familiar gray blue.

[color=#b14767]"If killing me will help Suiteheart, then do it. Kill me. I don't want to burden her any longer," there was a pause and a shaky breath, [color=#b14767]"You better take care of her. I swear to god, I won't come back unless she's suffering."

And with that, she shut her eyes, expecting a flash of fiery pain and then...

Her long awaited nothing.

Suiteheart Folie-Mikaelson... My dear wife... My best friend... I love you more than my words can ever convey. I'm sorry that I've done nothing but hurt you. Don't miss me. Don't look for me. This is for you. This is what's best for you. I wish I could have sacrificed anything else but... if you really think of me as nothing more than a wilted rose, then we can both agree that this needs to happen.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

[lilyspoise]

There are many names in history

but none of them are ours.

lilyspoise ♕ the typhoon ♕ budding flower ♕ tags

Lilyspoise was not born a with a monsterous half; she did not become a monster, nor have monstrosity thrust upon her.
Lilyspoise was not anything but herself.
Perhaps that included monstrosity, but unlike the two in front of her, she did not find herself with a malicious half. Every part of her that killed was still completely her. There was no fight for control-- maybe there was impulsiveness, but there was no combating force against her.
Lil of all people would know, having formerly been so familiar with the trade of control-- the bubbling souls surfacing above and trading consciousness.

The Troubadour was not born evil, nor did she have it thrust upon her. As a human she grew up in a war zone, raised with blood on her hands from patching up wounds. Her kin often came home with wounds given on the battlefield they so desperately tried to keep her away from. They said she wasn't ready; too young and too innocent. She was kept away until they realized they needed her. They saddled her up, gave her a staff, and let her heal. Only heal.

She took up tombs anyways.

She was Elise then, and Elise did not like hurting people. She didn't want to do it, but she refused to stand idle as family members took damage in turn. She'd be patching up those wounds later, anyways, so why not lighten her workload...?
It began in White Magic. She'd cast Freeze and suddenly her sister could get in an extra shot. She'd cast Rescue because her brother was surrounded. She'd cast Silence and halt a foe's magic. She do everything but kill the enemy herself.

Then, as many stories of this ilk go, came a fated battle. It was some sort of Hoshidan border spat -- it wasn't a rebellion or something they could just suppress quickly, or tactfully plan out. One moment she was making flower crowns in the garden, and the next her guards were hurrying off with her to the battlefield.
Despite these guards, and despite her family, she found herself cornered. It was a situation that wasn't entirely unfamiliar; she was a princess, she'd been targeted before, but normally she knew someone would eventually be around. This case scenario left her guards distracted, and her family fighting their own battles.

Elise knew what she had to do.

"No more holding back!"

Energy formed ringlets around her, she gripped her tomb tight, and felt heat pulse through her veins. This was why Leo chose to wield magic, she knew in that moment. The sparks in her veins were enough -- this thrill was incomparable.
Elise did not like hurting people, no, but she found joy in the fact that she was no longer an easy target.

When the young girl was thrust into the animal world, she fell into the same feeling of vulnerability. The transformation from bipedal to quadruped was one she happened to adapt to with grace. She found a group -- an old snowy bunch of islands where her family, reincarnated as well, found themselves. She took up herbs, an alternative to the healing she once knew. She continued to patch up wounds where she could, and she studied and studied as much as she could. There was so much knowledge in this new world, and it felt like there wasn't nearly enough time to digest it all.

There really wasn't.

Throughout her experience in the group she lost family, gained twin-souls, laughed and cried and felt every emotion in between--
Then, in a moment, it was gone.

It was all too familiar. She was cornered, end of the line, and she felt the heat pulse through her veins again.
Except there was no magic to wield in this world, so she turned to teeth and claws and, soon enough, weaponry instead. Scissors became her preferred weapon -- her twin-souls dabbled in them too, but she adored the crafty tools. Precise enough to cut dead leaves off of flowering plants. Precise enough to cut lifelines.

Lilyspoise abandoned that life though. Left it behind when she lost everything else. It was impossible to kill her way to peace. Attempt after attempt after attempt and all it ever amounted to was ruined lives scattered in her wake. The realization was simple: she could not become god by reversing her own creation. Nowadays though, this realization didn't stop her from carrying her scissor blades. She found a new pack during a weapon training class in the Typhoon, and she felt more complete than she had in months. She felt safe again.

Like many of her endeavors outside of the Typhoon began, Lil was out looking for herbs. Some plants just weren't native to the jungle, and she'd found success in introducing them to her own garden, so she'd been out looking for plants to uproot and bring back home. She already had a few stored in the bags she carried around her neck-- she was about to head home, actually. But she overheard a spat between a couple. Normally she would've ignored it, but she heard...
She heard her own name fall from these stranger's mouths.

"Let me do this for me... not you, not Lil, not anyone else but me."
Lil was a common name, right? It was just a coincide--

"I know about Lil. I know how you two met up the other day. She's in the Typhoon. She's healing there. She's a good healer."
Who were these people? They didn't seem familiar-- certainly not people she'd encountered in the darker parts of her life, but they knew her by name and location and they could easily kill her, couldn't they? What meeting did she speak of? There was no other Lil in the Typhoon, but Lilyspoise herself had no recollection of such a meeting.

"Please, just go there and be with Lil. Take care of her and yourself. Don't stay here."
Huh? Maybe she helped these people as a nomad healer...? Surely she'd recognize them though, which meant that they could be trying to deceive her. If they knew she was here, that is, but she couldn't be sure of that option either. Nonetheless, she prepped herself for battle; she kept her guard up and could feel the press of her scissor sheathes on her body.

Lilyspoise could feel the shift in the air a mile away. Something became hostile between the two-- something became dangerous. Hm. Maybe she hadn't messed with the people they were moments ago, but she could see herself getting into spats with whoever had taken over. Yes, this was much more up her alley.

"News flash: Lil is the only smart one here. She hates me because she probably sees me for what I am. Perhaps you're the one who needs to be sent away to the Typhoon. Are you trying to punish me?"
Was she a punishment now? Ha! The life previously abandoned still followed her like a ghost. Old feelings of the thrill began to resurface, and as much as she wished to deny it being wholly her, that's exactly what it was. No part of her soul shifted -- not this time, at least -- like she believed she witness between the two before her. This was her, she was one of the Lilies, she was Crowborough.

Yes, she: Crowborough.
Yes, Eli: Titanum.
Yes, Lissa: Talipot.
Yes, together: the Lilies.

"Lil doesn't hate Margaery. She loves her. Lil's just hurt right now, confused. And if you, for once second, think about harming her again, I will not hesitate to kill you."
Margaery? Who was Margaery?
Who was this beast trying to destroy in the namesake of saving her?

"And about Lil, perhaps I'll have to take your words as a challenge. I'll kill her."
What was going on? If Margaery was the soul swap of this... this creature -- yes, creature, because Lil had no right to call others monstrous as if her own deeds weren't so similar in nature -- then why didn't she recognize the name?

For a brief moment, Lilyspoise felt the fainted of tug on her memories. A part of her that screamed "Yes, you know her! You know her, idiot!" but nothing was loud enough. Nothing could kick her brain into overdrive and shatter the chains that held captive her memories. Nothing could force her to remember what she'd so voluntarily forgotten.

"Lilyspoise will hate you. Nobody likes a monster, Suiteheart, and you won't kill me because neither do you."
...

Y̼͎̜̣̱͇͢o̭͞ṵ͚͓͔̮͔͘'̧͔̙̞v̤̥̳̤̕e͓͚̗̰͙ ̣ș̮̰̮̤ee̝͔͎̻͡ń̲̩̬̦ ͖͔̭̱̩t͇h̫̝͎͉͚͇í̼̗̲s̱̥ ̹͙̹͍͈̙s͏̹͚͙͓͚ce̷̯̟̬̥̭̘̹n̛̟̘͓̥͎͓̜e͓̖͈̦͓̝͘ ̦͈b̗̝̞̙̳͎e͏͔͔̱̥͚͉̙f́o̼̖̹̜r̟e̗̝͓̟̰̤͘.̹̹̗̜

The sound of the scissor scraping from it's sheath was loud-- loud enough to draw their attention, hopefully.

"Both of you are making bold claims about me." The tabby growled, lashing her tail. She kept her claw in the hole of the scissor, ready to switch it's hold to her mouth at any moment. "It's kind of funny, actually. You seem to know me by name, yet I can't say the same for you." A lighthearted laugh followed suit to her words before a smug grin fell upon her once more.

"Must be fans of my work, which means you should really be calling me Crowborough." The bear was going to be the bigger challenge, quite literally. Lily was sure that both were skilled in combat, but the size difference posed a challenge. She looked up at the larger creature. "You seem oddly protective over me, yet I don't even know you. I'd prefer if you didn't kill in my name, because I hate being used as a figurehead." There was still so much of this situation that didn't make any sense. The polar bear seemed to want to protect her, yet was so violent against the other. The other had threatened Lil's own life, but at the same time that chocolate point believed Lil hated her. None of this made any sense, but the cream tabby would seek out answers. "Break this up, now. I want both of you alive and I want answers. If you care about me even half as much as you claim to," Lilac eyes locked with those of the bear. "Suiteheart, it was? Suiteheart, you threatened to kill in my name. I don't know who you are, or what you're trying to accomplish here, but if you want to do anything in my name, be it sparing her."

Then came the other option.

"If you insist on killing her, then get through me first."

[Suiteheart]

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Suiteheart was, by all accounts, born evil. She was the love child of discord and strife. She was full of a red-hot, flaming rage. Her inner fire had burned so strongly and wildly that anything and everything that neared her simply burnt. She was distruction, unable to contain her fury. She had been so young, so inexperienced with the world. These factors only added to her deep descent into indignation. Resentment. Pain. And more anger grew from these seeds of her childhood.

Her parents once held the keys to her rage. Their lack of love for the young monster only worsened the issue; had they just presented her love and care, her antagonistic rage would have evaporated as easily as water in the sun. However, they refused. Dark clouds hovered over young Suiteheart, covering her heart and clouding her head. She could not understand why she was so angry, so ruinous. At times, it saddened her, but the older she grew, the more she accepted her fury.

It took several months and a rag-tag group of individuals to lock away her true personality. They had done it on the sly, telling her they would help her forget her horrible family, but that also meant she would forget everything else. Her anger melted into kindness, but it was not truly gone. No, it lay dormant for a year before rearing its ugly head.

Despite everything, she could not escape it. The wrath of a forgotten childhood was not easily resolved. And perhaps the worst part of all of this was that this side of Suite -- her true personality --, had morphed into a shield of the worst kind. It stayed within her soul, guarding her against all that threatened though it only appeared when the situation was completely dire.

Somewhat confusing, yes, but nevertheless true. It was self preservation at work.

This primal instinct-driven girl knew Margaery worked the same way. Everyone did, didn't they? Everyone was fighting. Whether one wanted to admit it or not, at the end of the day, they were always fighting for themselves. They wanted to keep their own physical and mental forms as in tact as they could. Selflessness was a made up concept; selfishness was the only real mode with which the world operated.

Or so Suite's feral personality believed. She was preserving she and Suite's lives. She was keeping them both safe so that they might co-exist or something kin to that. Protection was a priority, and anyone that got in the way had to be eliminated. It was a dog eat dog world. It was kill or be killed.

In this world, you lived or you died. No one simply existed. You just survived. That was what both sides of Suiteheart were trying to do - even if it were only actually seen from the furious protector. "Not killing you isn't an option at the moment. All you do is take. It's time you started to give something." Her eyes glinted in shadow. "Bastille, Hazel, and Lil. Perhaps they don't like monsters, but what of you? They seem to like you, correct? Oh, my dear, I'm positive I'll be fine." The smirk that formed upon her lips was devastatingly malicious. It cut deeply and widely, and the bear hoped her words cut Margaery's actual core. She needed to hurt just as badly as Suiteheart was hurting.

As Margaery began to speak of Caroline, the bear listened (though not carefully). Her mind would not allow her to believe anything that poured out of the chocolate point's lips for the simple fact that Margaery was labeled as a liar in her mind. Trust was nonexistent. "Oh, yes, that sounds so convincing. Thank you again for the lies." Her dark eyes rolled mightily.

Before Margaery spoke again, a scent reached her. It was so familiar... It smelled like home, like a part of her home. She halted momentarily as the smell wreathed around her, but she could not pinpoint what it was. Had the Suite that everyone knew and loved been there, she would have easily recognized Lil by scent alone. Her discord persona knew no such ability as they had only met a few times - and too briefly at that.

"Stop lying to yourself. You've left and forgotten her. You left her and forgot about her every time you turned your emotions off. She begged and begged and fucking begged for you to stay, to remember that there was a chance, but you walked out in those departments. She wanted nothing but to help you work through your fucking problems, and you told her to fuck off in that oh-so queenly way of yours. And you may claim that you needed to be alone, but we know that's not true. You can't work through your problems on your own. After all, wasn't it you that always crawled back to Suiteheart, and never the other way around? Was it love, Margaery, that made you do that? Or was it because you were using her for you own gain?"

Her words were cold, calculating. She knew how to hurt Margaery, and she would not hold back. Not like last time. Not now. Not ever again. Destroy. Destroy. Destroy.

Though this personality was an extension of her own, their opinions on things were so incredibly different. Suiteheart, in her heart and mind, believed none of the words that spewed forth from the creature of strife. She was fighting now. She was fighting to get back, to tell her wife that she didn't believe this. The waves of grief and sadness that washed over her (courtesy of Margaery), almost drowned her normal side. She felt everything at once, the control her feral side having slipped momentarily. She wanted to reach out, but her consciousness was sluggish, like she was treading through mud.

The next words from Margaery caused a breakthrough. The bear's attack-like stance softened, and fear and distress and sadness burned in her eyes like the stars in the night sky. "No, Margy, I didn't mean for this. This isn't me. Please, go. Get away. I'm s-sorry. I love y-" Her words were spoken a mile a minute. They were quick as she was afraid she was going to lose control again. As fate would have it, as soon as she apologized and before she could complete her final thought, she was pressed down again.

I will protect you, Suite. You'll be okay. I know it. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me.

Again, Suiteheart fell into the lullaby of her other side. She fell heavy and hard, and she was so exhausted from the momentary control she had possessed. She let go of her control unwillingly though. This was not how it was supposed to be... In three heartbeats, her appearance had grown sharper, angrier, deadlier. Fury reigned supreme once more.

When her primal side fully returned to the world of Margaery, she was pinning the other to the ground. The scent of the strange yet familiar feline was closer and stronger than ever, but she was too distracted by Margaery's words to act upon that. In fact, a sick grin laced her maw as Margaery gave her the right of way for taking her life. Lowering herself so that she was mere inches from her wife's face, she said, "I'll take care of her. I'll care for her more than you ever did or ever would've done. And don't worry, I'll make this quick."

Inwardly, the Suiteheart that loved Margaery screamed. She yelled and fought and begged for control. She pleaded with her other side to spare her wife's life, to let her go, to let her live. The begging fell upon deaf ears, and time seemed to slow to a crawl. Everything within her -- her usual self -- felt like it was exploding, shattering. Outwardly, there was nothing. However, when the message reached both Suites, her outward appearance grimaced which was a sign Suite had somewhat surfaced.

'I love you. I love you. I love you. Please don't accept this. Please fight. Fight back! Don't give up! This isn't what I want, Margaery. I want you, imperfections and all. I love you, dammit! Please... Please go. Don't let yourself be killed... I don't want this... I never wanted this. This isn't me... Please, I love you... Margaery...'

The bear growled, silencing Suite again. "Goodbye," she raised a large paw, and her obsidian claws glittered in the sunlight, "Margaery Mikaelson." She purposely left out 'Folie,' which was one last insult toward the other. With that, she began to swing her claws towards the other's throat. However, before she could commit the act of murder, the scent of the strange engulfed her.

"Both of you are making bold claims about me. It's funny, actually. You seem to know me by name, yet I can't say the same of you."

Her massive paw halted midway in the swing. The polar bear's head turned, eyes locking with irises of lilac hue. Something stirred within her chest. She knew this feline... Dark eyes narrowed as if to better remember the other, and then, it hit her all at once. "L-L-i-...i-l."

The voice she spoke with now was broken. It was the combination of Suite's two sides trying to speak together; both sides were attempting to take control, and it was a mess of inner conflict. The sight of the young girl had momentarily broken whatever hold either of them truly possessed.

Crowborough. The name rested oddly within her mind, and both Suitehearts fought over what it meant and who would address it. Both were so confused. The kind side of Suite was equal parts heartbroken and worried about her daughter, who seemed to not know who she was. She could not wrap her mind around this new revelation. Meanwhile, the more malicious side of Suite was bound and determined to protect Lil but kill Margaery.

"I don't want to kill Marg -... in y-yo-ur name." Again, the broken voice sounded. "I - do-n't! - want to kill her for you. I'm doing this for me. For Suite. She m-m-mu-st not die, Lil! Please! She can't - sh-she must! - die!" A softer voice spoke and then was overtaken by something darker. Back and forth they went, not making much sense unless one listened closely to the minute changes in the vocal tones.

The incident could be likened to listening to a radio that was losing its signal. Different voices from different stations cut in and out. Each demanding to be heard over the other, and all parties were fighting. Fighting to be heard, to be understood. It was about control. 

The bear shook her head quickly a few times. "Answers! You'll have them when Margaery - s-stop me, L-L-Lil! - dies." All would be revealed shortly, that much was true. In what way, shape, or form though? The answer was hidden.

The next words Lil spoke were to spare Margaery. Everything in the normal Suiteheart agreed to this. She would spare Margaery whenever and wherever she could; she wanted no harm to befall the girl she loved dearly. At the same time, the primal anger version of Suite would not allow herself to be stopped, even at the expense of Lil.

"It has to be done, child. There's no other way. Margaery has hurt and hurt Suiteheart. She's also hurt you, or have you forgotten? She left you to fend for yourself. She's the reason your sisters are gone. She abandoned you in your darkest hour. And she'd do it again in a heartbeat. I'll kill her and make sure nothing like that ever happens again, kiddo. I promise. I'll keep you safe. I'll make sure of it. I-

"Lil... Pl-plea-se... Don't le-t me do this! Th-is isn't really me... He-help me. Help Margaery! I can't. I can't. I can't."

The real Suiteheart was fading in and out, causing the malicious side to do the same. The sudden appearances and disappearances put a large strain on the polar bear, causing her hold on Margaery to all but cease. She was weakened, tired, confused.

All was not well.