06-06-2021, 11:37 PM
DEAR FRIEND as you know, your flowers are withering
your mother's gone insane, your leaves have drifted away.
but the clouds are clearing up
and i've come reveling, burning incandescently,
like a bastard on the burning sea.
your mother's gone insane, your leaves have drifted away.
but the clouds are clearing up
and i've come reveling, burning incandescently,
like a bastard on the burning sea.
Whatever the female had been expecting when she made her rounds this morning, this had not been it. The sight of Danny's home grabbed her attention as she was not far away, body pausing to view the mess it had been left in. They'd spoken, not long before. But she had not taken things to be as drastic as the display left by the house. Had something happened? Had someone broken in?
The plans of his stepping down had been made aware to the caracal, though the exact details of when or how were not guaranteed. She thought they'd have a little more time, that they could transition between their agreement seamlessly, and that she could figure things out from there, happy to know that Danny was safe and healthy, and that their home would always be in good hands. That they were doing what was best for themselves, respectively. After all, this is part of what the female had wanted, wasn't it? The ability to make a change, to be there for others, the same as they'd been to her? To be worth something again. This was a good thing, for the sake of the kid, for the sake of the pirates. She'd done this once before - this should be easy, shouldn't it?
"His...his body's not here, i-is it?" she'd ask, not rhetorically, to the other. Her focus is fading in and out, paws twitching. If his body truly was there, well, she isn't sure she'd be able to handle it. She wouldn't be able to look at it. But, no, it couldn't be. He wasn't dead. The female's teeth would grit, eyes watering. She lets in a quick breath, a shaking paw reaching over the scene. Jot hadn't entered, so it could not be confirmed. But this was her job, to take care of the bodies, to heal the broken. She still didn't quite know how to do even that. How can she be captain? How did she do such a thing? It's this damned head of hers - her downfall, all of it, it's all its fault. All because of her shitty, broken head. And all they're left with is this hollowed out shell, this mouse pretending to be braver than it is.
As she moves farther into the wreckage of Danny's home, she feels the shaking of her paws progress now to her legs. A sense of dread in her eyes, ears downward, nose scrunched up from the blood. This isn't what she'd expected. Isn't what she had in mind. Isn't what he had talked about. Something pokes her paw, takes her out of her head for just a second. Her gaze travels downward, onto the golden earring left behind. Frown present on her maw, she shakes her head. "No, no," she'd say quietly, mostly to herself. "No, th-there's no need. No need for a funeral." She speaks up now, voice shivering in a slight doubt. "His body's not here." It would be too much of a coincidence, wouldn't it? It wouldn't make sense, for something in the night to do this to him, his house, to just steal him away. The only thing that could have done this would have been him. That made sense, didn't it? Didn't it? There was no other scents.
There was still not much Goldie could remember clearly. Her memory was manipulated, warped, and still blocked off by some unknown force. It hurt if she tried to go too far into it, tried to picture things too well. But, there was some things she still had, some things she knew as a fact. And one of those things was what had brought her into her positions, into her power, into her life, as a whole, from the moment she was born. She had been destined for it. And one decision she'd made would determine that fate to come true. The decision to get closer, to break the barrier. To make her papa proud. To meet her family, bring them together, to adopt an obligation to help them, to keep them safe. And that obligation still exists. She knows by now, that she'd made them proud. At least, the old Goldie had. When her papa had stepped down, promoted her in his place, he had known what he was doing. He had known she would take care of their home. And Danny needed her, he trusted that she would adopt those responsibilities once again. He was counting on it, depending on it.
Her greatest fear was to end up alone. And right now, she felt terrified, paralyzed, nearly. But there was no time to feel afraid. There was no time to feel at all. Her mind struggles to focus. But, she had to at least try to figure this out. There was no other option.
A claw moves the earring onto it, holding a grasp of the object for the time being. She blinks at the ground, a few tears had fallen unknowingly as she'd moved along the scene. She sniffs, slowly turning her head. "We'll need minerals, for the throne, for his time." She would be stepping up beside her papa's skull, along with the one made for herself, at another time. She would continue the tradition. She would hold up to her commitment, her promise to her papa, her family, to Danny.
The plans of his stepping down had been made aware to the caracal, though the exact details of when or how were not guaranteed. She thought they'd have a little more time, that they could transition between their agreement seamlessly, and that she could figure things out from there, happy to know that Danny was safe and healthy, and that their home would always be in good hands. That they were doing what was best for themselves, respectively. After all, this is part of what the female had wanted, wasn't it? The ability to make a change, to be there for others, the same as they'd been to her? To be worth something again. This was a good thing, for the sake of the kid, for the sake of the pirates. She'd done this once before - this should be easy, shouldn't it?
"His...his body's not here, i-is it?" she'd ask, not rhetorically, to the other. Her focus is fading in and out, paws twitching. If his body truly was there, well, she isn't sure she'd be able to handle it. She wouldn't be able to look at it. But, no, it couldn't be. He wasn't dead. The female's teeth would grit, eyes watering. She lets in a quick breath, a shaking paw reaching over the scene. Jot hadn't entered, so it could not be confirmed. But this was her job, to take care of the bodies, to heal the broken. She still didn't quite know how to do even that. How can she be captain? How did she do such a thing? It's this damned head of hers - her downfall, all of it, it's all its fault. All because of her shitty, broken head. And all they're left with is this hollowed out shell, this mouse pretending to be braver than it is.
As she moves farther into the wreckage of Danny's home, she feels the shaking of her paws progress now to her legs. A sense of dread in her eyes, ears downward, nose scrunched up from the blood. This isn't what she'd expected. Isn't what she had in mind. Isn't what he had talked about. Something pokes her paw, takes her out of her head for just a second. Her gaze travels downward, onto the golden earring left behind. Frown present on her maw, she shakes her head. "No, no," she'd say quietly, mostly to herself. "No, th-there's no need. No need for a funeral." She speaks up now, voice shivering in a slight doubt. "His body's not here." It would be too much of a coincidence, wouldn't it? It wouldn't make sense, for something in the night to do this to him, his house, to just steal him away. The only thing that could have done this would have been him. That made sense, didn't it? Didn't it? There was no other scents.
There was still not much Goldie could remember clearly. Her memory was manipulated, warped, and still blocked off by some unknown force. It hurt if she tried to go too far into it, tried to picture things too well. But, there was some things she still had, some things she knew as a fact. And one of those things was what had brought her into her positions, into her power, into her life, as a whole, from the moment she was born. She had been destined for it. And one decision she'd made would determine that fate to come true. The decision to get closer, to break the barrier. To make her papa proud. To meet her family, bring them together, to adopt an obligation to help them, to keep them safe. And that obligation still exists. She knows by now, that she'd made them proud. At least, the old Goldie had. When her papa had stepped down, promoted her in his place, he had known what he was doing. He had known she would take care of their home. And Danny needed her, he trusted that she would adopt those responsibilities once again. He was counting on it, depending on it.
Her greatest fear was to end up alone. And right now, she felt terrified, paralyzed, nearly. But there was no time to feel afraid. There was no time to feel at all. Her mind struggles to focus. But, she had to at least try to figure this out. There was no other option.
A claw moves the earring onto it, holding a grasp of the object for the time being. She blinks at the ground, a few tears had fallen unknowingly as she'd moved along the scene. She sniffs, slowly turning her head. "We'll need minerals, for the throne, for his time." She would be stepping up beside her papa's skull, along with the one made for herself, at another time. She would continue the tradition. She would hold up to her commitment, her promise to her papa, her family, to Danny.
NOTHING'S EVER LOST FOREVER, IT'S JUST HIDING IN THE RECESS OF YOUR MIND AND WHEN YOU NEED IT, IT WILL COME TO YOU AT NIGHT. I MISS THE YELLOW. I MISS THE YELLING AND THE SHAKEDOWN. I'M NOT COMPLAINING, NO, I GOT A BETTER SET OF KNIVES NOW. I MISS MY DRUMMER, MY DEAD STEPBROTHER, AND THE PIT CROWD. AND CHUCK AND MATTY - IF THEY COULD SEE ME THEY'D BE SO PROUD.