those bells are ringing | caustic

[Ivan]

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IVAN
slav. "god is gracious"
---
a son
a brother

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ALYOSHA, MY DEAR, MY ONLY SON, I'M AFRAID OF IVAN —

In the Allegory of the Cave, prisoners existed underground all their lives in a dark cave, chained up to their necks so they could only see one wall. The prisoners could only see the shadows of objects illuminated by a bonfire lit behind them. One day, one of them would be released and after rubbing the sores created on his neck and hands from the chains, he climbed out of the cave. But, as he was so accustomed to the darkness of the cave, he was painfully blinded by the light of the Sun, which stood as the true light, the Truth.

This pain was something similar happening to Ivan now as he mulled over the implications of this revelation. There was, of course, the physical throbbing in his paw, but it was quite insequential to his inner pain. "And nobody would believe you anyway, you fool holding the lantern searching for an honest man. You aren't like them, they wouldn't understand." Just as the prisoner enlightened by the Sun is put to death by his cave-dwelling peers.

Ivan steadied his breathing for a moment. He nearly flinched when Caustic's paw covered his own, but he stilled immediately with a blanked expression on his face. Caustic was human, and not even part of this world.

Oh, Ivan tried to hard to be a rationalist and snide behind his tower of liberalism and reason, but maybe all his heart yearned for was faith. The physical world had only shown him so much, even then he could not experience it all fully because he cannot see the vibrant colors. He wanted to see something beyond his scope of physicality and reason, yet he did not know how to find it because he could not fathom it through reason. And it very well might be that philosophy was useless as Caustic thinks, but does not dare to tell Ivan. Either way, maybe it just didn't matter.

"I know you wouldn't lie, no, and I know you're real, but I said that, didn't I ... Without even thinking. Ah!" He flinched again, for no reason. "But this brings up so many problems. I don't mean because you're human. I think ... I think I am not so frightened about that. Perhaps I even admire you further. No, it's the worlds theory ... I was saying a lot of stupid things just now, I even hit my paw on the table — I do that a lot, but I'm fine now, I'm not going mad." His speech was awkward and rambled, and he spoke so quickly and fluidly as if he was pouring out his heart.

A rather sudden and abrupt tranquility came over his countenance. "You can't go back, can you? You and Octane?" He asked in a softened voice. Was it acceptance? He was not sure. The holes in his Caustic puzzle were fitting together given this theory. He felt bad.

— I'M MORE AFRAID OF IVAN THAN THE OTHER ONE.