cigarettes and feelings | asvini

[Ivan]

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IVAN
slav. "god is gracious"
---
a son
a brother

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ALYOSHA, MY DEAR, MY ONLY SON, I'M AFRAID OF IVAN —

It did not take long for Ivan to return to Aurum's abandoned house, thinking, for some strange reason, that he would find Asvini here again. He had shocked himself deeply with how genuinely he treated the girl when she was stricken in pain from the opening of her extra eyes. 

"But perhaps," Ivan thought as he circled the porch. "It's only because of her special situation". but he really hoped he was better than that. He himself did not react happily to the news of Aurum's leaving. Maybe something had been boiling underneath all this time that he hadn't realized, but he could not stand the thought another child had to suffer for something she hadn't done.

The nightmares of his mother's death had been decreasing as of late, and whenever she was mentioned, Ivan just had a vague look in his eyes. His siblings were slipping away, his father was devastated with grief, and in being the only one left, Ivan saw himself as taking on a mantle that was far too big and noble for some rat like himself. Some rat who dared to sit at Moth's funeral and could only think of killing his brother sobbing on the coffin.

"Asvini," He finally called out, done with lurking about. "Are you doing well? Your eyes?" "I wanted to come back to check on you," was on his tongue, but he refrained from saying it. Redundant? Yes, perhaps, but also the awkwardness of it all weighed heavy on his shoulders.

[member=13067]ASVINI[/member]

— I'M MORE AFRAID OF IVAN THAN THE OTHER ONE.