06-14-2020, 11:56 AM
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IVAN
slav. "god is gracious"
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a son
a brother
[/td] slav. "god is gracious"
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a son
a brother
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ALYOSHA, MY DEAR, MY ONLY SON, I'M AFRAID OF IVAN —
A long time had passed since he visited The Pitt. Still, Ivan cannot forget his brother's pleading, bouncing around in his head without escape. No doubt guilt was eating away at him, pathetic pile of skin and bones as he was. Somedays he hated every single being on the planet with every ounce of his young essence, and then would suddenly shift to hating himself. He could not understand why he acted in this way. He truly was at a loss and scraping empty air.
Something that seemed so monumental to him was insignificant to all else. Leroy hadn't even mentioned Atticus' name in the last meeting, and Ivan, acting out of a guilty conscious, had spoken up when nobody else did. But he hadn't told anyone in Tanglewood what he'd done. The few times he did see his father now, he wanted to tell him, but immense self-loathing held him back. His father had already suffered enough.
The air shifted in the library. Ivan snapped to attention and immediately his eyes were drawn to the corner in which he had hallucinated a demon after his return from The Pitt. There was nothing there. His lip curled slightly over his teeth, a low growl rumbling in his throat. Static noises fizzled in his ears. "I know you're there," He thought. "Show yourself, coward."
To his immense shock, he noticed Atticus with Sweeney. Pittian scent assaulted his nose, but he stood stock still as if he was beside himself and that he couldn't believe what was happening. Most of his days were spent in the library now. After Selby taught him how to read, it was all Ivan cared to do. He was currently fascinated with poems and plays. Shakespeare's Hamlet, Schiller's The Robbers, and Pushkin's Belkin Tales were some of the copies not too far away from him now. Ivan raised his hackles in hatred, but did not say anything or raise any alarms, and he would torment himself over this mistake afterwards.
Something that seemed so monumental to him was insignificant to all else. Leroy hadn't even mentioned Atticus' name in the last meeting, and Ivan, acting out of a guilty conscious, had spoken up when nobody else did. But he hadn't told anyone in Tanglewood what he'd done. The few times he did see his father now, he wanted to tell him, but immense self-loathing held him back. His father had already suffered enough.
The air shifted in the library. Ivan snapped to attention and immediately his eyes were drawn to the corner in which he had hallucinated a demon after his return from The Pitt. There was nothing there. His lip curled slightly over his teeth, a low growl rumbling in his throat. Static noises fizzled in his ears. "I know you're there," He thought. "Show yourself, coward."
To his immense shock, he noticed Atticus with Sweeney. Pittian scent assaulted his nose, but he stood stock still as if he was beside himself and that he couldn't believe what was happening. Most of his days were spent in the library now. After Selby taught him how to read, it was all Ivan cared to do. He was currently fascinated with poems and plays. Shakespeare's Hamlet, Schiller's The Robbers, and Pushkin's Belkin Tales were some of the copies not too far away from him now. Ivan raised his hackles in hatred, but did not say anything or raise any alarms, and he would torment himself over this mistake afterwards.
— I'M MORE AFRAID OF IVAN THAN THE OTHER ONE.