what a shame we all became such fragile, broken things / private

[Margaery]

[glow=BLACK,2,300]▶ MARGAERY FOLIE - tags - THE ASCENDANTS - OBSERVER - SHE/HER- FELINE ◀[/glow]

"You're right; I would never accuse my mother of such an act, and we don't know each other anymore, because you're not my mother."

Margaery could not even begin to form an even halfway-coherent response. The tears came quickly and they came harder than ever before, reducing the usually regal, composed girl to nothing save a trembling, broken mess. Feelings of hope and relief were distant memories now, crushed beneath a staggering sense of absolute despair. So she had no children...  Was she really in the position to be surprised? A little part of her knew that this was the outcome most likely waiting for her once she finally located Lil. It didn't lessen the blow though- nothing would.  She was a failure of a mother as much as she was a failure of a child. Caroline and Niklaus had not wanted her and now... now her daughter was essentially saying the same.

[color=#b14767]"I'm..." Her voice was nearly inaudible, [color=#b14767]"I'm n-not g-good.. I'm n-not good e-enough f-for anyone, then.... A-Am I?"

She had given so much of herself into searching for her children, for Suite. She had locked away her emotions just so she could do it without the pressure building; without the pressure growing strong enough to break her. But she had already broken long ago and now, now she realized it. She was not meant to grow close to people, she was not meant to offer all the love and affection she had in her heart so blindly, so trustingly. She was meant to fall in line with the rest of her family... to be cold, calculating, heartless... to care only for those of the same thought. Always and forever. Always and forever. That was her destiny, as much as she hated to accept it, and it had been predetermined long before she even graced this earth.

But she didn't want that. She didn't want to descend into the darkness that had tempted her once before. It had been liberating, to be a beast, but it was not her. It would never, genuinely be her. Rose gardens did not bloom under the abrasive touch of a monster. She'd lose everything if she fell into the waiting embrace of her true nature. Her true self.

Just as she thought that this conversation could not get any worse, Lilyspoise (it hurt too much to refer to her as her daughter right now) made the comment about attacking children. [color=black]Give me control, a deep voice whispered in her ear, [color=black]I'll fix all of this... She refused to delight it, to succumb to her sudden, primal urges. She would not hurt a child ever again. She would not hurt her child ever again.

And so she, still trembling, her breathing irregular and her heart fluttering, stumbled to her paws and turned to leave. She could not do this right now, at least not rationally anyways, and the intoxicating scent of blood mingled with her own spiking emotions came together to form what surely would be a cocktail of regret did she choose to indulge. [color=#b14767]"I'm sorry t-that I'm just a m-monster," She began, her voice more even than the last time she spoke, [color=#b14767]"I thought t-that there was h-hope for us. For our... well, I guess, my f-family."

Lilyspoise had made herself clear when she told Margaery that she was not her mother. She didn't want to fight, not anymore, and more weary and beaten down then ever, had simply chose to accept this fate, this cruel, cruel fate. If it had not been Lil's intention to make her suffer, she certainly hadn't succeeded. This turmoil of emotions had not been familiar to Margaery in over a year... to say she was suffering right now would be a drastic understatement.

"I'm not gone forever."

Somehow, that comment helped her none; there was a sense of finality in the words Lilyspoise had offered her just seconds ago. Regardless, she halted in her departure, blood-shot eyes falling once again on the form of the other girl. [color=#b14767]"Why would y-you want me to visit? You've m-made it c-clear that you don't want me," She murmured quietly, a shaky breath inhaled and exhaled. Presently, she felt as if she was not getting enough oxygen. She disregarded the uncomfortable feeling though, and continued. [color=#b14767]"T-The state of my lungs didn't matter when I knew you were still out there. I didn't know how long it would take for them to be alright again and I didn't want you t-to think that I didn't care. I guess I was too late for that though."

If anything, Margaery was weary now. She didn't want to fight Lil on this, she didn't want to mindlessly go back and forth with her own daughter. She wanted to shut her eyes admittedly, fall asleep in the shade of this forest that caused her so much harm. But as Lil began explaining her side of things she realized with a sudden intensity that that was not an option.

[color=#b14767]"Do you really think I don't know how you feel?" There was that anger again- white hot, it left her room to feel nothing else. [color=#b14767]"I've been cast aside by my own goddamn mother as well. She didn't fucking want me, she didn't want anyone but herself. She was selfish and terrible and even when I broke before her, she didn't care. I have dedicated every ounce of myself to not become her. I have loved you so immensely, so wholly, and I have done everything in my power to fix this. To fix all of this. I have put myself into your shoes more times than I can count but you've never tried to do the same. Not once can I recall you making a conscious effort to understand how I feel. I understand you because I've lived through that feeling of abandonment, of betrayal, but the difference between you and I is that my mother actually didn't care. I do... I care so much. I just want you to kn-" She was cut off abruptly, unable to continue. A searing pain had begun in her lungs, one that she disregarded until it grew to be too intense for her. Now, the corners of her world were fading to black and she could not breathe. 

Lil was saying something about fixing her side and she vaguely detected a slight jab at her in her words about hurt. She was far too dizzy to process such though, and merely slid to the ground, an instinctual panic rising within her. She had been good to not have any true attacks since she had been out on her own, but the combination of travel and high emotion had come together to create the perfect situation for her lungs to simply stop functioning. This was bad, she realized, very bad.

[color=#b14767]"I can't..." Her words were mere wisps, [color=#b14767]"breathe..."